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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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Mtndog Collaborator

Or at least hold your tummy while you're laughing!


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Mtndog Collaborator
Bev, I know I missed a lot, but do you have mono? I knew you weren't feeling well. :(

Well due to the exhaustion I experienced, they think it was a relapse (I've had it before) but they couldn't test for it because once you have it you always have the antibodies in your system. But based on my system, that's what they think it is. I'm feeling much better now!

jerseyangel Proficient
Well due to the exhaustion I experienced, they think it was a relapse (I've had it before) but they couldn't test for it because once you have it you always have the antibodies in your system. But based on my system, that's what they think it is. I'm feeling much better now!

Oh, ok--I'm glad that you're feeling better! I remember you not feeling well, and right when I came back, you had posted about having a good day--so I just missed the relapse part.

You sure have had more than your share this past year.

nikki-uk Enthusiast

:lol::lol: Gotta get a Toot Tone for hubby :lol::lol:

Loved the Spiders on Drugs!! (my favourite was the stoned one who built a hammock!! :D )

Patti!!! No Laughing!! :lol:

Susie! - are you still procrastinating about the heinous task of cleaning?? (I bit the bullet , grit my teeth and actually got some done today!! :lol: ..ironing too :blink: )

..so this is for you Susie!

Mtndog Collaborator
Loved the Spiders on Drugs!! (my favourite was the stoned one who built a hammock!! :D )

Patti!!! No Laughing!! :lol:

I love the crack spider popping a cap in it's *&%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is so darn funny!

Mtndog Collaborator
:lol::lol: Gotta get a Toot Tone for hubby :lol::lol:

Loved the Spiders on Drugs!! (my favourite was the stoned one who built a hammock!! :D )

Patti!!! No Laughing!! :lol:

Susie! - are you still procrastinating about the heinous task of cleaning?? (I bit the bullet , grit my teeth and actually got some done today!! :lol: ..ironing too :blink: )

..so this is for you Susie!

OMG! That video needs to be shown to EVERY man in the world! I love the warm, soapy water with a drop of vanilla essence. I may actually try that!

DingoGirl Enthusiast

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd - - - that cleaning video almost made me SICK - - blech - - watching people clean ( or just be around) disgusting stuff like that is too much for me - - :huh: I couldn't finish it, once they showed him stripping the bed - - - - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

But anywho I managed to do some successful cleaning, thank you Nikki. :)

I am off to Monterey today, just for the day. That's six hours of driving. Sheesh. A gathering for a dear friend who died, but I am not staying overnight.

catch y'all later. :)


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Mtndog Collaborator
I am off to Monterey today, just for the day. That's six hours of driving. Sheesh. A gathering for a dear friend who died, but I am not staying overnight.

catch y'all later. :)

I hope it goes OK, my condolencesa again. :(

We'll try to find something to crack you up for when you get back.

Mtndog Collaborator

SusieQ- Have you heard about this?

Open Original Shared Link

DingoGirl Enthusiast

"death rabbits??"

:lol: Bev, what the heck is FRISKY DINGO???? I do like the name...... :P I have two frisky and fluffy and freshly-bathed dingos here. SO nice and clean-smelling, we washed the stinky beach smell right off. They went to grandma's today (secret visit, DO NOT tell my stepfather) and she nearly puked at their stench. :lol:

gotta go, Golden Globes coming on! :)

Mtndog Collaborator
"death rabbits??"

:lol: Bev, what the heck is FRISKY DINGO???? I do like the name...... :P I have two frisky and fluffy and freshly-bathed dingos here. SO nice and clean-smelling, we washed the stinky beach smell right off. They went to grandma's today (secret visit, DO NOT tell my stepfather) and she nearly puked at their stench. :lol:

gotta go, Golden Globes coming on! :)

It's some new show on Cartoon Network. i just saw an ad for it and googled the title cuz it cracked me up!

JackieM Newbie

u hooo it's just me, one of the newbies, probably not at all sure of what she is doing. :blink: I was looking over the SillyYak posts, and Dingogirl told me to take a look at it. The jingles were a hoot. How about some poetry? If you don't mind I would like to post a poem that I wrote several years ago. I am terrified of spiders, actually even the mention of them gives me the heeby jeebies. Anyway one morning, I saw this little spider on the ceiling of my bedroom. I figured this was about as good as any time to confront my fears and lo and behold, I came up with this little itty bitty spider poem. (I'm still terrified) Ok here ya go.

Little spider on the ceilin'

Don't cha know just what Im feelin'?

Can't you see I'm so afraid! :o

So get on outta here before I grab the Raid!

....ok I'm done now

Ya know I'm taking my chances here, you might want to give me walking papers after this..lolol :P

nikki-uk Enthusiast

JackieM!! HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!

I am soo excited..someone new to play with!! :lol::lol:

Step inside this weird, wacky, downright silly thread!! :D

Little spider on the ceilin'

Don't cha know just what Im feelin'?

Can't you see I'm so afraid! :o

So get on outta here before I grab the Raid!

Oh I love it!!! :D ...hate the hairy little monsters!!!

JackieM you are WELCOME to this thread (the more the merrier!).....we all need some laughs ;)

Jestgar Rising Star

Umm, Jackie?

This is a very exclusive thread and you are only able to join if you're willing to risk peeing your pants laughing.

It's a big commitment, so take some time to think about it.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Ya know I'm taking my chances here, you might want to give me walking papers after this..lolol :P

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! :lol: Love your poem Jackie....I, too am slightly terrified of spiders and inseects (inside the house although once an EX boyfriend threw a DEAD dragonfly from my windshield wiper at me and screamed and actually punched him, so even dead ones outside scare me :huh: ) so welcome and as Nikkie said, YAY! someone else to play with ! :)

WHERE IS RICHARD AND WHEN"S HE COMING BACK????????

Umm, Jackie?

This is a very exclusive thread and you are only able to join if you're willing to risk peeing your pants laughing.

It's a big commitment, so take some time to think about it.

:lol::lol::lol:

Mtndog Collaborator
Umm, Jackie?

This is a very exclusive thread and you are only able to join if you're willing to risk peeing your pants laughing.

It's a big commitment, so take some time to think about it.

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackie- I BURST out laughing! That was a freaking riot!

It reminded me that last night we tried to watch Snakes on a Plane because for months after we heard that it was coming out, my hubby and I would walk around imitating Samuel L. Jackson "There's Motherf*&%^n SNAKES ON THIS PLANE!"

We were so psyched to watch it and just laugh and about thirty minutes in my hubby couldn't take it anymore (it was after those MF snakes bit a guy in his hoo-hoo :P

Mtndog Collaborator
Umm, Jackie?

This is a very exclusive thread and you are only able to join if you're willing to risk peeing your pants laughing.

It's a big commitment, so take some time to think about it.

Have I told you lately that I love you!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
We were so psyched to watch it and just laugh and about thirty minutes in my hubby couldn't take it anymore (it was after those MF snakes bit a guy in his hoo-hoo :P

so are you saying that you could not watch it because it was not funny, or you could not watch it because a snake bit a guy in his hoo-hoo?? :o:lol::lol:

Mtndog Collaborator

I teach writing for a job, so here is one of my favorites....NOT MY STUDENTS :P

Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays

(or, 'How to Write Good'...)

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one

of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E-coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at a speed of 35mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.

Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that as actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Mtndog Collaborator
so are you saying that you could not watch it because it was not funny, or you could not watch it because a snake bit a guy in his hoo-hoo?? :o:lol::lol:

BOTH! But it was my hubby, not me! He couldn't take it! 2 of his least favorite things- flying and snakes! SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jestgar Rising Star
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Yeah, I hate when that happens

DingoGirl Enthusiast
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.

oh dear gaaawd I love these metaphors, but the one quoted above is proof that they're written by grownups, I think, because what student KNOWS what time Jeopardy comes on :lol::lol::lol:

(except Bev's, of course)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

Oh heck..must be a an international rule or something....and there was me feeling soooo clever because I finished it ! :lol:

Great Bev!! :D:D

JackieM Newbie
Umm, Jackie?

This is a very exclusive thread and you are only able to join if you're willing to risk peeing your pants laughing.

It's a big commitment, so take some time to think about it.

Ok, I'll think about it......................... I'm up to it Jestgar! I don't see the requirement would be all that difficult! :lol: Whew, I was sweatin bullets thinkin I might be sent on my merry way after that little lymeric of mine. Excuse me nicki, pardon me Jestgar, may I squeeze by ya to find my seat? :) oops, I think I just passed the requirment... :o...just kidding (maybe)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Ok, I'll think about it......................... I'm up to it Jestgar! I don't see the requirement would be all that difficult! :lol: Whew, I was sweatin bullets thinkin I might be sent on my merry way after that little lymeric of mine. Excuse me nicki, pardon me Jestgar, may I squeeze by ya to find my seat? :) oops, I think I just passed the requirment... :o...just kidding (maybe)

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    • Theresa2407
      Usually when I digest gluten or wheat I have a 4 hour window before reacting.  If it is immediate it may be an intollerence to another food.  Dairy, Frutose, and bacteria (SIBO) will react with many of the celiac disease symtoms.Has your Doctor ran a  Fructose test which is measuring your Fruit Sugar?  A Hydrogen Beath Test which checks your intestinal bacteria and Dairy?After my biopsy and blood work, these (3) tests were also ran, along with allergy tests, which allery test was sent out of State.  It was a mouth swab. How fast you heal depends on the diet you are following… The following are my personal recommendations to healing. I talk to many newly diagnosed people who start the gluten-free diet with pasta, breads, snacks, and pizza. After a month or so, they do not know why they don’t feel any better and still are sick with their original symptoms: They worry the diet is not working for them. For some there may be other factors involved, but most just aren’t letting their body heal properly. I blame the internet, and misinformation it contains. People want a quick fix, not realizing this is a life long disease. They need a good support group, with people who have been through this and knows what works!  This is what I have found will work for you.                                                                                            First 6 weeks should be:                                                                                                                                 lean meat (beef, pork, chicken, turkey, salmon, sardines, buffalo, deer)                                                   fresh vegetables (steamed or roasted with a little Olive Oil) with 2 cups per day being raw (5 servings; a serving is 1/2 cup)                                                                                                                                      fresh fruit (3 servings; include strawberries, blackberries and blueberries daily)  Makes good shakes with Almond milk.                                                                                                                                        A hand full of almonds daily (pecans and walnuts can be substituted)                                                        brown rice, lentils, Citrucel daily (or the equivalent) Good source of fiber. I use Calm because my body doesn’t absorb Magnesium and I only need to take once in evening.                                                    No dairy of any kind (milk, cheese, yogurt, No breads, No past,  No oats, No pizza, No gluten-free beer, No snacks like cake, biscuits, pies, donuts.                                                                                                Many dietitians will tell you to follow a gluten free diet but you have to heal first. Don’t misunderstand me, dietitians are our friends and help us.                                                                                              10% of people with gluten-free will be intolerant to dairy                                                                                  10% can not tolerate oats                                                                                                                     After the six weeks, you can start to add these foods back into your diet. 1 new food every 4 days; this way you know if you react to this food.                                                                                                  Oats shouldn’t be tried for 1 year after being diagnosed; then start with 1/3 of a cup. Only gluten-free Oats are acceptable.                                                                                                                                              You should have results within 3 days of following a correct healing diet. Bloating should be leaving, migraines should be gone. Might take bowels a little longer to respond. If you start with 5 times a day on the Citrucel and cut back as your bowels return to normal; then use 1 Tbsp. daily. This works if you have constipation or diarrhea.                                                                                                        Meanwhile make sure you have had a Dexa test (bone density) and a blood test to check your vitamin and mineral levels: Zinc, D,K,B,C and iron levels.                                                                                  Don't take supplements while healing as your body is not accepting them and they will flush through your body.                                                                                                                                              Have you had a breath test for Dairy, Fructose, and bacteria overgrowth? Should have done when first diagnosed.                                                                                                                                        How fast you heal depends on the diet you are following… The following are my personal recommendations to healing. I talk to many newly diagnosed people who start the gluten-free diet with pasta, breads, snacks, and pizza. After a month or so, they do not know why they don’t feel any better and still are sick with their original symptoms: They worry the diet is not working for them. For some there may be other factors involved, but most just aren’t letting their body heal properly. I blame the internet, and misinformation it contains. People want a quick fix, not realizing this is a life long disease. They need a good support group, with people who have been through this and knows what works! This is what I have found will work for you. First 6 weeks should be: lean meat (beef, pork, chicken, turkey, salmon, sardines, buffalo, deer) fresh vegetables (steamed or roasted with a little Olive Oil) with 2 cups per day being raw (5 servings; a serving is 1/2 cup) fresh fruit (3 servings; include strawberries, blackberries and blueberries daily) a hand full of almonds daily (pecans and walnuts can be substituted) brown rice lentils Citrucel daily (or the equivalent) Good source of fiber. No dairy of any kind (milk, cheese, yogurt) No breads No pasta No oats No pizza No gluten-free beer No snacks like cake, biscuits, pies, donuts. Many dietitians will tell you to follow a gluten free diet but you have to heal first. Don’t misunderstand me, dietitians are our friends and help us. 10% of people with gluten-free will be intolerant to dairy 10% can not tolerate oats After the six weeks, you can start to add these foods back into your diet. 1 new food every 4 days; this way you know if you react to this food. Oats shouldn’t be tried for 1 year after being diagnosed; then start with 1/3 of a cup. Only gluten-free Oats are acceptable. You should have results within 3 days of following a correct healing diet. Bloating should be leaving, migraines should be gone. Might take bowels a little longer to respond. If you start with 5 times a day on the Citrucel and cut back as your bowels return to normal; then use 1 Tbsp. daily. This works if you have constipation or diarrhea. Meanwhile make sure you have had a Dexa test (bone density) and a blood test to check your vitamin and mineral levels: Zinc, D,K,B,C and iron levels. Don't take supplements while healing as your body is not accepting them and they will flush through your body. Have you had a breath test for Dairy, Fructose, and bacteria overgrowth? Should have done when first diagnosed. Remember to have a tTg IgA blood test repeated at 6 months then every year after, with another scope done in 3 years. Only way to know if you are healed. I don’t have all the answers; we are learning everyday new ways of doing things, but this is a start! Remember to have a tTg IgA EMA blood test repeated at 6 months then every year after 
    • Wheatwacked
      Marsh 3b is the Gold Standard of diagnosis for Celiac Disease.  Until recently, regardless of antibody tests, positive or negative, you had to have Marsh 3 damage to be awarded the diagnosis of Celiac. As I understand you,  you were having constant symptoms..  Your symptoms improved on GFD, with occassional flare ups. Did your doctor say you do and you are questioning the diagnosis? Regarding your increasing severity when you get glutened it is "normal".  Gluten acts on the Opiod receptors to numb your body.  Some report withdrawal symptoms on GFD.  I was an alcoholic for 30 years, about 1/2 pint of voda a day. Each time I identified a trigger and dealt with it, a new trigger would pop up.  Even a 30 day rehab stint, with a low fat diet (severe pancreatis) during which I rarely had cravings.  Stopped at a Wendys on the way home and the next day I was drinking again.  20 years later, sick as a dog, bedridden on Thanksgiving, after months of reasearch, I realized that gluten free was my Hail Mary.  Back in 1976 my son was diagnosed at weaning by biopsy with Celiac Disease and his doctor suggested my wife and I should also be gluten free because it is genetic.  At 25 years old I felt no gastro problems and promised if I ever did I would try gluten free.  Well, I forgot that promise until I was 63 and my wife 10 years dead.  Three days of gluten and alcohol free, I could no longer tolerate alcohol. Eleven years gluten and alcohol free, with no regrets. Improvement was quick, but always two steps forward and one back.  Over time I found nineteen symptoms that I had been living with for my entire life, that doctors had said, "We don't know why, but that is normal for some people". Celiac Disease causes multiple vitamin and mineral deficiency.  It is an autoimmune disease, meaning your immune system B and T cells create antibodies against ttg(2) in the small intestine in Celiac Disease, and sometimes ttg(3) in skin in Dermatitis Herpetiformus.  'Why' is poorly understood.  In fact, it wasn't even known that wheat, barley and rye gluten was the cause.  Celiac Disease was also called Infantilism, because it was deadly, and believed to only be a childhood disease. So, as part of your recovery you must deal with those deficiencies.  Especially vitamin D because it contols your immune system.  Virtually all newly diagnosed Celiacs have vitamin D deficiency.  There are about 30 vitamin and minerals that are absorbed in the small intestine.  With Marsh 3 damage you may be eating the amount everyone else does, but you are not absorbing them into your system, so you will display symptoms of their deficiency.   As time passes and you replenish your deficiencies you may notice other symptoms improve, some you did not even know were symptoms. Our western diet has many deficiencies built into it.   That is the reason foods with gluten are fortified.  Gluten free processed food are not required to fortify.  Vitamin D, Iodine, choline.  The B vitamins, especially Thiamine (B1) run deficient quickly.  We only store enough thiamine for 2 weeks so the symptoms of Gastrointestinal BeriBeri can come and go quickly.  Magnesium, zinc, etc. each having its own symptoms affecting multiple systems.  High homocystene, an indicator of vascular inflamation can be cause by deficient Choline, folate, B6 and or B12.  Brain fog symptoms by deficient choline, iodine, thiamine B1. Dietary intake of choline and phosphatidylcholine and risk of type 2 diabetes in men: The Kuopio Ischaemic Heart Disease Risk Factor Study  
    • Rogol72
      I cut out the rice because it was affecting my stomach at the time ... not necessarily dermatitis herpetiformis. It was Tilda Basmati Rice, sometimes wholegrain rice. I was willing to do whatever it took to heal. Too much fiber also disagrees with me as I have UC.
    • trents
      But you didn't answer my question. When you consume gluten, is there an identifiable reaction within a short period of time, say a few hours?
    • Scott Adams
      You can still have celiac disease with negative blood test results, although it's not very common:  Clinical and genetic profile of patients with seronegative coeliac disease: the natural history and response to gluten-free diet: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5606118/  Seronegative Celiac Disease - A Challenging Case: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9441776/  Enteropathies with villous atrophy but negative coeliac serology in adults: current issues: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34764141/   
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