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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
I wish it was Friday.....we have only been at work 3 hrs and I am already ugh!!!! Things are just not going right the past few days, I thought a weekend break would help....some things never go away!

Oh, this is heinous!!!!!! More silly time is the answer. :)

:lol: ...yeah....I got my rather regal and middle aged cat Lucy a little cute kitty (Will)

The ungrateful wretch refuses to have anything to do with him - will NOT clean out his litter tray :rolleyes:

That's the last time I get her a pet <_<

:lol: the regal Lucy rejecting poor Will....he really is just beneath her, isn't he? :lol: My mom brought the new Devil Cat into the mix of the two much older, very quiet persians....and now there is regular, everyday savagery there..... :blink: Little Georgie terrorizes them.....

<*snicker* it's quite funny>

read: drunken debauchery with (optional) broken leg ;)

gahhhhhhhhhhh :lol:

and Tom - there's not gonna be a sax player. Too loud. There's going to be a really gorgeous man singing and playing acoustic gee-tar, and I am going to flirt with him. ;)

MORNING SILLEEEEEEEEEZZ!

Unbelievably sunny day.......I wish I could capture a photo of the Sierra Nevada and let you all see it - mygawd - it's like you can TOUCH the mountains, covered with snow....'tis the most beautiful sight.

My Stinker......good gawd, I think I"m giving her too much thyroid medicine. :o But....I just don't want her poked and prodded any more......... :( Just gotta get some pain meds for her today from the money-hungry vet.........

Hi Lisa!!!!!!! (clandestine reader :lol: )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)


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elye Community Regular
and Tom - there's not gonna be a sax player. Too loud. There's going to be a really gorgeous man singing and playing acoustic gee-tar, and I am going to flirt with him. ;)

Well...this could end up being my brother. Did I mention that he plays guitar? Quite well, actually. His real love is the drums, however, but that's a rather unglamoroUs band position, so we'll simply allow him that.

Why are all drummers for bands the same...they look like unemployed construction workers. Guess that's why they're always in the back... :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
My grandmother got Marion, the least, I think of those evils... :rolleyes::lol:

:P My mom's name is Marion.

Did anyone mention Norma yet?

We are having the most beautiful day--considering it's erly Janury. It's a mild 60, heading to 63 today and 69 tomorrow. I opened lots of windows since it's so sunny :D

jerseyangel Proficient

Apparently, it's not Carla's birthday after all--I found out after I started the birthday thread :ph34r:

It's her anniversary of joining the board. Unless they fell on the same day :unsure: I'm confused, but what's new :lol:

So, again Carla--Happy Anniversary :)

Hope I got it right this time :huh:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Well...this could end up being my brother. Did I mention that he plays guitar? Quite well, actually. His real love is the drums, however, but that's a rather unglamoroUs band position, so we'll simply allow him that.

Why are all drummers for bands the same...they look like unemployed construction workers. Guess that's why they're always in the back... :lol:

OMG - he plays guitar.........well, I DO sing harmony rather well, actually. So.....he and I are goign to be the musical entertainment.......this is AWESOME!!!!!!!!! But, he's goign to have to play the songs I tell him - - that's the only catch :lol: tom can play sax quietly in the corner, during our breaks. :lol::P

speaking of singing.....my friend Karen and her husbnad (the prison psych for whom I work) sing up at the ski lodge once or twice a month.....she's asked me repeatedly to sing with them. Well, I don't really know their material.......so she says I HAVE to sing backup on that stupid Amy Winehouse Rehab song.....so I watched it on youtube......was revolted....... (had never heard it because I don't listen to normal music).......she, and it, was wretched - sorry to any Winehouse fans if I offend :lol: - I wrote to Karen adn said - - NOOOO NOOOOO NOOOOOOO (the refrain)......these are NOT my people......I am NOT of this debauched era........... :ph34r: I could NOT endorse this song (which did make it into top 10 songs of the year on Itunes).......... BAH!!!!!!!! :lol:

Apparently, it's not Carla's birthday after all--I found out after I started the birthday thread :ph34r:

:lol: OMG - well then I must rescind my birthday salutations, Carla. :lol:

tom Contributor
and Tom - there's not gonna be a sax player. Too loud. There's going to be a really gorgeous man singing and playing acoustic gee-tar, and I am going to flirt with him. ;)

Yeah :lol: that sounds about right hehe :lol:

Can't argue w/ a girl-with-a-plan!

nikki-uk Enthusiast
I had four great aunts: Mildred, Doris, Norma, Gladys. My grandmother got Marion, the least, I think of those evils... :rolleyes::lol:

Aunts: Anne, Rose, Edith and Jean

Funny...it's difficult to come up with horrid old male names. Earl? Wilbur? Ernie?...not too many baby Normans cropping up anymore... :lol:

Reg, Cyril, Arnold, Maurice :D

(my Dad is Brian)

:lol: the regal Lucy rejecting poor Will....he really is just beneath her, isn't he? :lol: My mom brought the new Devil Cat into the mix of the two much older, very quiet persians....and now there is regular, everyday savagery there..... :blink: Little Georgie terrorizes them.....

Devil cat vs regal Lucy= savagery :lol: ....everday!!!!!!!!!!!!

and Tom - there's not gonna be a sax player. Too loud. There's going to be a really gorgeous man singing and playing acoustic gee-tar, and I am going to flirt with him. ;)

Wait!!!...... :unsure: ....isn't it YOU on crutches Susie???????????.........but you can still flirt :lol:

Apparently, it's not Carla's birthday after all--I found out after I started the birthday thread :ph34r:

It's her anniversary of joining the board. Unless they fell on the same day :unsure: I'm confused, but what's new :lol:

SEE!!!

I knew it.....like the Queen ...an official and unofficial birthday :huh:


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nikki-uk Enthusiast
speaking of singing.....my friend Karen and her husbnad (the prison psych for whom I work) sing up at the ski lodge once or twice a month.....she's asked me repeatedly to sing with them. Well, I don't really know their material.......so she says I HAVE to sing backup on that stupid Amy Winehouse Rehab song.....so I watched it on youtube......was revolted....... (had never heard it because I don't listen to normal music).......she, and it, was wretched - sorry to any Winehouse fans if I offend :lol: - I wrote to Karen adn said - - NOOOO NOOOOO NOOOOOOO (the refrain)......these are NOT my people......I am NOT of this debauched era........... :ph34r: I could NOT endorse this song (which did make it into top 10 songs of the year on Itunes).......... BAH!!!!!!!! :lol:

You DON'T like Amy Winehouse??????????????

Oh no no no this will never do :o

I mean I know she is a complete and utter anorexic, dope smoking, smackhead scumbag (in need of a good wash)....but by god!!!! ..she sings from the (tortured) soul.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

A very-UN birthday to Carla!!!!

tom Contributor
You DON'T like Amy Winehouse??????????????

Oh no no no this will never do :o

. . . . . ...

. .. .

...but by god!!!! ..she sings from the (tortured) soul.

Yeah Yeah Yeah I'm with ya Nik!

I haven't heard much of her (2 songs? :embarrassingly-out-of-touch emoticon: ) but saw some performance on tv last yr.

Need to hear more Amy. ;)

elye Community Regular

Yes...Amy sings from her verrrryyy tortured soul. Her voice is somethin' else...

She hearkens back to the soaring voices of the 50's and 60's divas. I like You know I'm No Good:

Open Original Shared Link

Superb arrangement behind her.

If only she weren't such as skank.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Reg, Cyril, Arnold, Maurice :D

:o

What? Maurice......OMG........just about the sexiest man I ever loved - dated on and off for eight years - we grew up down the street from one anotehr - - OMG - we still love each other - - :blink: ANYWHO - - his name's Maurice and he goes by Reese.....known to be among the top 10 most gorgeous men in this city (um, his two brothers are also in that list - nine kids - half French/half Italian - - most gorgeous boys EVER)........

oh - must stop - - just had a love surge and am now missing him - - :unsure: (you all can read it in my book one day)

Wait!!!...... :unsure: ....isn't it YOU on crutches Susie???????????.........but you can still flirt :lol:
\

;) oh you BETCHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I"ll need extra attention for my injury.......

You DON'T like Amy Winehouse??????????????

Oh no no no this will never do :o

I mean I know she is a complete and utter anorexic, dope smoking, smackhead scumbag (in need of a good wash)....but by god!!!! ..she sings from the (tortured) soul.

:ph34r: Well....how can I SAY If I like her or not? only watched the one song......I know she is exactly as you say - perhaps England's Janis Joplin? All right........I"ll watch the skank on Em's link....

I hate modern American music........except for GoldDigger......and.......gittin Jiggy with it.... :lol: :lol: :lol: Am currently IN LOVE with teh soundtrack from "Once"

and listen here....don't get me wrong......I LOVE me some tortured music (Nick Drake, Elliott Smith, Peter Gabriel - note that they are all men)

OMG - must have new licenCe photo taken today....what shall I wear? And should I state my true weight? :lol:

elye Community Regular
What? Maurice......OMG........just about the sexiest man I ever loved - dated on and off for eight years -

The French guy...but he stunk, didn't he? :lol::lol:

and listen here....don't get me wrong......I LOVE me some tortured music (Nick Drake, Elliott Smith, Peter Gabriel - note that they are all men)

Oooooooohhhhhhh....Peter Gabriel... :wub: I LOVE this man....... :wub::wub:

OMG - must have new licenCe photo taken today....what shall I wear? And should I state my true weight? :lol:

Yeah, sure....It's always the age thing that I wanna hedge on.... <_<:lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
:ph34r: Well....how can I SAY If I like her or not? only watched the one song......I know she is exactly as you say - perhaps England's Janis Joplin? All right........I"ll watch the skank on Em's link....

The key is to NOT watch the video but to LISTEN. There are several artists that I just can't stand to watch perform but I like their music. I can't stand to watch Mick Jagger.

OMG - must have new licenCe photo taken today....what shall I wear? And should I state my true weight? :lol:

True Weight??!! . . . .Gahhh!!! Banish the thought!!!! Not like they make you step on a scale. Subtract at least 5!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
The French guy...but he stunk, didn't he? :lol::lol:

No, Maurice smelled DIVINE.........he wasn't THAT stinky Frenchman. :lol:<mygawd, there was more than ONE stinky francois> :ph34r:

The key is to NOT watch the video but to LISTEN. There are several artists that I just can't stand to watch perform but I like their music. I can't stand to watch Mick Jagger.

:lol: Like an emaciated, strutting, rubber chicken!!!!!!!!

Darn210 Enthusiast
:lol: Like an emaciated, strutting, rubber chicken!!!!!!!!

Exactly!!!! . . . that purses his chicken lips!

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:lol: :lol:

Can I just say, I LOVE the photo of Augustus Octavius Celiacus Harrumphus......the end of his regal nose looks like a..............FAT POTATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast

By the way, what did you guys do to scare off Sarah? Emily, do you have anything that you need to confess?

nikki-uk Enthusiast
Yes...Amy sings from her verrrryyy tortured soul. Her voice is somethin' else...

If only she weren't such as skank.

..and yet she looks quite ummm....clean :unsure: in her videos compared to this Open Original Shared Link :o !!!!!

My fave is Open Original Shared Link. (N.B It's not Amy in the vid...she ...ummm....didn't turn up apparently :blink: )

...but I digress...boring everyone with talk of skanky drug addicts :blink:

(you all can read it in my book one day)

I know that will un putdownable!!!!!....I CAN'T wait!!!!!!!!

WRITE IT, WRITE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

I hate modern American music........except for GoldDigger......and.......gittin Jiggy with it....

:huh: What the....??? :lol: Modern??? ....GAD!! gittin jiggy with it...Will Smith???? :lol:

and listen here....don't get me wrong......I LOVE me some tortured music (Nick Drake, Elliott Smith, Peter Gabriel - note that they are all men)

Peter Gabriel!!!! (post 'Genesis')

I saw him in concert back in 1980 something ..when I actually had a social life :rolleyes:

OMG - must have new licenCe photo taken today....what shall I wear? And should I state my true weight? :lol:

You MUST wear your Frye boots (you cannot see them in the pic...but they give you attitude :lol: )

Lie about your weight - take 10 pounds off ;)

The French guy...but he stunk, didn't he? :lol::lol:

OMG...the French guy???....itz ze garlic??? N'est pas??? ....or ze armpits :unsure::lol:

elye Community Regular
Can I just say, I LOVE the photo of Augustus Octavius Celiacus Harrumphus......the end of his regal nose looks like a..............FAT POTATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol:

You are SO right...he looks rather bovine. Must get a pic of his troublesome gums, since they're brand-spankin' cha-ching new!... <_<

By the way, what did you guys do to scare off Sarah? Emily, do you have anything that you need to confess?

OMG...Did I ask Sarah about receding poodle gums? Did she see my dad as Hamid Karzai? As Tammy Faye? Gawd, so many things could have frightened her away....

Wait! ....Janet......

Did you show her your knees? Huh? Didja?!

Peter Gabriel!!!! (post 'Genesis')

I saw him in concert back in 1980 something ..when I actually had a social life :rolleyes:

Me, too! Saw him three times...Twice here, once in Toronto. What a beautiful man...

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

I have seen Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Journey twice, Foreigner, Peter Frampton....was not thrilled there. I also saw Bush before they got real popular.

Darn210 Enthusiast
OMG...Did I ask Sarah about receding poodle gums? Did she see my dad as Hamid Karzai? As Tammy Faye? Gawd, so many things could have frightened her away....

Wait! ....Janet......

Did you show her your knees? Huh? Didja?!

OMGawwwd!!!! I KNEW I shouldn't have shared that information with you!!!!! You're just going to keep throwing it back in my face!!!!! I'm sensitive you know! Why, I'm as fragile as a . . . breakable thingy. You're trying to get rid of ME!!! Just like you got rid of Sarah and Erica and Daughter of the Light!

Well, I won't go so easily, see . . . it's going to take more than just a couple of random shots at my defective cartiledge . . .

I WON'T GO, I TELL YA'!!!!!

What did you do with the bodies, Emily? :ph34r:

tom Contributor
OMGawwwd!!!! I KNEW I shouldn't have shared that information with you!!!!! You're just going to keep throwing it back in my face!!!!! I'm sensitive you know! Why, I'm as fragile as a . . . breakable thingy. You're trying to get rid of ME!!! Just like you got rid of Sarah and Erica and Daughter of the Light!

Well, I won't go so easily, see . . . it's going to take more than just a couple of random shots at my defective cartiledge . . .

I WON'T GO, I TELL YA'!!!!!

What did you do with the bodies, Emily? :ph34r:

:lol:

Ahh I see you've revealed your Native American name! Apparently bestowed by the Thesaurusless tribe of the Upper Plains. (Of course, they'd USE every part of the buffalo, but it's a little known fact that each part had only one name and was usually analogous to 'stretchy-longish-thingy' or 'leg-bottom-stomp-thing')

Don't let them take you Fragile-as-a-breakable-thingy!!!! :P

elye Community Regular
OMGawwwd!!!! I KNEW I shouldn't have shared that information with you!!!!! You're just going to keep throwing it back in my face!!!!! I'm sensitive you know! Why, I'm as fragile as a . . . breakable thingy. You're trying to get rid of ME!!! Just like you got rid of Sarah and Erica and Daughter of the Light!

:lol::lol::lol: ....Nervous :lol::lol:

OMG.......

Janet said (among many other things) defective cartilage. :lol:

..and breakable thingy. :lol:

...So, Janet, your knees and my poodle's gums have singularly cleared the ranks...Sarah, Erica and daughter...Mygawd. The power we hold... :lol::o

DingoGirl Enthusiast
By the way, what did you guys do to scare off Sarah? Emily, do you have anything that you need to confess?

*snooooooort* :lol: Good one, she's SO busted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...but I digress...boring everyone with talk of skanky drug addicts

Actually, she looks better in that makeup-less bra-crazed photo than in anything else...but.....something alarming.....does it appear that she may actually have receding poodle gums?????????

:lol:<cracking self up>

:huh: What the....??? Modern??? ....GAD!! gittin jiggy with it...Will Smith????

:lol: Yes, 'tis quite funny what *I* consider to be modern.....you see, that is MUCH more modern than, Ralph Stanley, for example (very old bluegrass), oooollld Johnny Cash and the Carter Family (mygawd, the Carters, a century ago), my Roots music, and.....good gawd all of it's old and crazy, if it's American.....modern in my library is Ben Harper w/ the Innocent Criminals or the Blind Boys of Alabama (that's Gospel, BTW)....so yes, Gettin Jiggy w/ It is QUITE modern for old dingy :lol:

(anything current I listen to is from Canada or Great Britain)

You MUST wear your Frye boots (you cannot see them in the pic...but they give you attitude :lol: )

Lie about your weight - take 10 pounds off ;)

;) excellent advice, 'tis exactly what I did.

MYgawd, what a SCARY place the DMV is (department of motor vehicles for those in other countries)........scads and masses of people.....hundreds were there.....and not ONE cute, normal-looking guy in all of it........bitter disappointment......MUST move to a major metropolis where.....um......educated folk gather........

You are SO right...he looks rather bovine. Must get a pic of his troublesome gums, since they're brand-spankin' cha-ching new!... <_<

ohhhhhh myyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaawd - - look at Gus's teeth and gums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: Quite a snort I had over that photo....how DID you get him to show his expensive grill????????????????

I have seen Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Journey twice, Foreigner, Peter Frampton....was not thrilled there. I also saw Bush before they got real popular.

OMG - saw Frampton, Journey, and - I think? - not sure - Foreigner in the LATE SEVENTIES - methinks Amanda wasn't even BORN!! :blink:

OMGawwwd!!!! I KNEW I shouldn't have shared that information with you!!!!! You're just going to keep throwing it back in my face!!!!! I'm sensitive you know! Why, I'm as fragile as a . . . breakable thingy. You're trying to get rid of ME!!! Just like you got rid of Sarah and Erica and Daughter of the Light!

What did you do with the bodies, Emily?

GAHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help.......me........TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!! we have gotten TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Ahh I see you've revealed your Native American name! Apparently bestowed by the Thesaurusless tribe of the Upper Plains. (Of course, they'd USE every part of the buffalo, but it's a little known fact that each part had only one name and was usually analogous to 'stretchy-longish-thingy' or 'leg-bottom-stomp-thing')

Thessaurusless Tribe of the Upper Plains.........

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
    • lmemsm
      I've seen a lot of recipes for chia pudding, so I decided to make some with chia, water, cocoa and honey.  Didn't like the taste, so I added ground sunflower and ground pumpkin seed to it.  It tasted okay, but came out more like frosting that pudding.  I used to make pudding with tapioca starch, milk powder, water and sugar.  It came out very good but I haven't figured out what to use to replace the milk powder to make it dairy free.  Most starches will work in place of tapioca starch but quantity varies depending on the type of starch.  If I didn't add enough starch to get a pudding consistency, I'd add gelatin as well to fix it.  Avocado and cocoa makes a good dessert with a pudding like consistency.  Unfortunately, I have a bad reaction to avocados.
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