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Ever Want To Shake Your Spouse?


IrishKelly

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IrishKelly Contributor

Okay, i have to admit that i'm about to Bit** so if your not in the mood...now is your Q to move on!!

I love my DH but lately i'm sooo annoyed at the fact that all he ever talks about in front of me is how much his fat butt (not really fat though) could go for a pizza, or a big sub, or chinese take out, or whatever the heck he's thinking about at that moment. If he sees something on t.v. he talks about it, or if he sees a restaurant at the mall he's oooohing and ahhhhing, i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooo tired of hearing about it...and trust me, i'm not just being a "hater". He literally constantly talks about how much he could eat something. It's one thing to see the restaurants and comment on them, but if someone even mentions some kind of food he's like drooling or something. HOW RUDE!! I'm so tired of people not accepting what i have as a real issue, it usually doesn't bother me but i feel so annoyed by it today. It's been four months since i started this gluten-free diet, you would think my own family would pay attention to it by now!!! And then there's my mother, she invites us over for dinner and i tell her no dairy as well as no gluten...so what does she do?? She adds "it was only a little butter" to the mashed potatoes. Oh, and did i mention my in-laws?~i only had to accidentally lose 30 pounds from being sick for them to realize their daughter-in-law wasn't just "complaining about being tired" and "being a picky eater". Ya know, i really hope that one day these people don't have to get sick themselves to realize what it's actually like. Especially my in-laws, some of the things they've said about me behind my back have been so hurtful, but now i know there true colors. Sorry i went on for so long...just needed to vent :unsure:


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Fiddle-Faddle Community Regular

How frustrating! Guess you can't ever depend on THEM, can you? Sounds like your DH is addicted to food--or could he be addicted to gluten?

Just noticed your sig--how did you find out you were allergic to codeine? The reason I ask is, I had a terrible reaction to percocet, and so far, out of everyone I've talked to who has taken it, 12 out of 16 people have had the same terrible reaction (nausea, dizziness, vomiting, dry heaves, etc)--but it never occurred to me that this might be an allergic reaction. Is that what happens to you?

(Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread--back to the subject!) Have your parents and in-laws still not figured it out? If so, you may have to bring your own food for a while, or turn down their dinner invitations until they can guarantee you that you will not get sick. You might even consider asking your doctor (if you have a decent one) to write a note to them specifying how sick "just a pat of butter" will make you.

IrishKelly Contributor
How frustrating! Guess you can't ever depend on THEM, can you? Sounds like your DH is addicted to food--or could he be addicted to gluten?

Just noticed your sig--how did you find out you were allergic to codeine? The reason I ask is, I had a terrible reaction to percocet, and so far, out of everyone I've talked to who has taken it, 12 out of 16 people have had the same terrible reaction (nausea, dizziness, vomiting, dry heaves, etc)--but it never occurred to me that this might be an allergic reaction. Is that what happens to you?

(Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your thread--back to the subject!) Have your parents and in-laws still not figured it out? If so, you may have to bring your own food for a while, or turn down their dinner invitations until they can guarantee you that you will not get sick. You might even consider asking your doctor (if you have a decent one) to write a note to them specifying how sick "just a pat of butter" will make you.

Codeine actually gives me a headache that's more severe than any pain i woiuld be taking it for, crazy huh? I found out 9 years back when i had my wisdom teeth out and they gave me aspirin w/codeine and every time i took it i was nauseated and received a horrible teeth clenching headache.

IrishKelly Contributor
Codeine actually gives me a headache that's more severe than any pain i woiuld be taking it for, crazy huh? I found out 9 years back when i had my wisdom teeth out and they gave me aspirin w/codeine and every time i took it i was nauseated and received a horrible teeth clenching headache.

Oh, and bye the way, that's not a bad idea about the note ;)

2kids4me Contributor

well food may get his attention but does "intimacy" appeal to him?

Everytime he does that to you - tell him how he just killed any chance of "nookie" (canadian word for intimate) later............ :o That mentioning food all the time when you deal with a food related illness just negates your mood for the day.............that for him to bite his lip out of consideration is an aphrodisiac..

well worth a try! :lol:

I set my DH straight when he has to be told all the time "what to do" or reminded what is needed when we go on a "spontaneous trip"......correct # syringes and insulin, enough synthroid for dd and myself, gluten-free food options ..............

and that I am not really into nookie with someone I feel like a mother to..... :P

he straightened up since i said that 2 weeks ago and it appears to be an incentive... B)

IrishKelly Contributor
well food may get his attention but does "intimacy" appeal to him?

Everytime he does that to you - tell him how he just killed any chance of "nookie" (canadian word for intimate) later............ :o That mentioning food all the time when you deal with a food related illness just negates your mood for the day.............that for him to bite his lip out of consideration is an aphrodisiac..

well worth a try! :lol:

I set my DH straight when he has to be told all the time "what to do" or reminded what is needed when we go on a "spontaneous trip"......correct # syringes and insulin, enough synthroid for dd and myself, gluten-free food options ..............

and that I am not really into nookie with someone I feel like a mother to..... :P

he straightened up since i said that 2 weeks ago and it appears to be an incentive... B)

Oh that's a good one :lol:

CarlaB Enthusiast

I usually just answer back with, "Well, if you want it that bad, can you imagine how good it sounds to me?" Usually they don't mean anything by it, they just aren't thinking past themselves. I even use that one on my kids.

I usually find that the more "nookie" my hubby gets, the more spoiled I get. ;):rolleyes: When a guy is getting the one thing on his list that he wants, he'll kill himself trying to fulfill the 3000 things on his woman's list!! :lol: So, I'd only use that one as last resort!


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gf4life Enthusiast

It was hard at first to get my family and inlaws on board with the gluten-free diet for myself and my kids. After 4 years my husband is doing much better. He rarely forgets about the gluten in foods, he just doesn't think it should be an issue if he wants to eat a gluten containing food at home. I get very nervous about it, because he is not very careful and we have gotten glutened before from his food. But he doesn't rub it in our faces that we can't eat a food that he can.

My father is clueless, but is rarely involved in our food choices, except when he wants to take us out, and then he lets us pick the restaraunt, so not an issue. The rest of my family is very accepting of it and many of my siblings are pretty sure they have it too, but at this point are not willing or able to be tested and have no desire to follow the diet.

Now my inlaws are a completely different matter. My MIL almost always comments, "are you guys still on that diet"...like it is a choice. I keep telling them it is a LIFELONG situation and the kids will not outgrow it. My FIL just chooses pretty much to ignore it all together, except he keeps trying to feed the kids gluten foods. Fortunately they live out of town (and for the last 9 mos out of the country), so it isn't so bad any more. They used to show up for the weekend and bring burgers and chicken strips from Burger King, toss it all on the table and tell the kids to "eat, eat, eat". Then they act offended that we won't touch the food. They recently sent us some "treats" from the Philippines when one of their other children went there for a visit and almost all of them contained gluten. So my husband took them to work and shared them.

The rest of the inlaws are more accepting of it, but totally clueless on what we can eat. So whenever we have to go to their houses I have to pack enough food for all 4 of us to eat, since there probably won't be anything to eat except plain rice and maybe some fruit. And believe me, I worry about the rice being contaminated! I won't eat it if it looks like it isn't just cooked, because I am worried about someone having put a contaminated spoon or something in it. Needless to say we usually eat before we get there or after we leave.

I guess I am saying that it can get better, or not, but you will be able to handle it better and be more accepting of people with time. So in that sense it does get easier. Some people just never "get it" and there is nothing you can do to make them. You have to try to remember that they do NOT feel your pain, or suffer the effects of gluten and they are not having to watch every bite of food or drink they put in their mouths every single day, and they do not have to think about it all the time. After a few years though I thought that my husband should know better than to offer me a bite of his McDonald's apple pie!

IrishKelly Contributor
It was hard at first to get my family and inlaws on board with the gluten-free diet for myself and my kids. After 4 years my husband is doing much better. He rarely forgets about the gluten in foods, he just doesn't think it should be an issue if he wants to eat a gluten containing food at home. I get very nervous about it, because he is not very careful and we have gotten glutened before from his food. But he doesn't rub it in our faces that we can't eat a food that he can.

My father is clueless, but is rarely involved in our food choices, except when he wants to take us out, and then he lets us pick the restaraunt, so not an issue. The rest of my family is very accepting of it and many of my siblings are pretty sure they have it too, but at this point are not willing or able to be tested and have no desire to follow the diet.

Now my inlaws are a completely different matter. My MIL almost always comments, "are you guys still on that diet"...like it is a choice. I keep telling them it is a LIFELONG situation and the kids will not outgrow it. My FIL just chooses pretty much to ignore it all together, except he keeps trying to feed the kids gluten foods. Fortunately they live out of town (and for the last 9 mos out of the country), so it isn't so bad any more. They used to show up for the weekend and bring burgers and chicken strips from Burger King, toss it all on the table and tell the kids to "eat, eat, eat". Then they act offended that we won't touch the food. They recently sent us some "treats" from the Philippines when one of their other children went there for a visit and almost all of them contained gluten. So my husband took them to work and shared them.

The rest of the inlaws are more accepting of it, but totally clueless on what we can eat. So whenever we have to go to their houses I have to pack enough food for all 4 of us to eat, since there probably won't be anything to eat except plain rice and maybe some fruit. And believe me, I worry about the rice being contaminated! I won't eat it if it looks like it isn't just cooked, because I am worried about someone having put a contaminated spoon or something in it. Needless to say we usually eat before we get there or after we leave.

I guess I am saying that it can get better, or not, but you will be able to handle it better and be more accepting of people with time. So in that sense it does get easier. Some people just never "get it" and there is nothing you can do to make them. You have to try to remember that they do NOT feel your pain, or suffer the effects of gluten and they are not having to watch every bite of food or drink they put in their mouths every single day, and they do not have to think about it all the time. After a few years though I thought that my husband should know better than to offer me a bite of his McDonald's apple pie!

So, do you ever feel like your in-laws just think your over-reacting at times? I think somethimes i feel like that's what they think of me...it makes me feel like a piece if cra* :(

Matilda Enthusiast

...

Michi8 Contributor
So, do you ever feel like your in-laws just think your over-reacting at times? I think somethimes i feel like that's what they think of me...it makes me feel like a piece if cra* :(

I do. Apparently I'm the family hypocondriac. That goes for my own parents too. :(

Michelle

gf4life Enthusiast
So, do you ever feel like your in-laws just think your over-reacting at times? I think somethimes i feel like that's what they think of me...it makes me feel like a piece if cra* :(

I used to, but now I know that they just don't realize how serious it is (even though I have told them a hundred+ times!) and they don't think about other people's needs before their own. They have been living fairly clueless for a long time, and it isn't so easy to teach a 60-something person a different way of doing things if they don't care to learn it. I swear it about made me nuts when I first went gluten free and I told them I can't eat lumpia (filipino egg roll style dish). They swore to me that the lumpia wrappers are made with rice flour, not wheat. I had to pull a new pack out of the freezer and show them the label. They are made with wheat flour, not a speck of rice flour in them at all. They had spent their whole lives eating these things thinking they were made from rice! :huh: Anyhow, there are a few (very few) rice based filipino treats that we can eat, and we could have a lot of their dishes IF they would use wheat-free soy sauce instead of regular, but it just isn't worth the effort. I would worry about cross-contamination in their kitchens... Instead I have just been making really tasty gluten free meals and desserts for them to try and my MIL loves my gluten-free muffins and banana bread.

IrishKelly Contributor
I started reading this thread thinking the topic heading was "Ever want to share your spouse?" - not that I want to share mine or anyone else's, but I thought I'd just look in on what people were saying, as swinging isn't often discussed on this board!

Anyway, "shaking", yes definitely.

Best wishes,

Matilda

:lol: LOL...that's too funny!

I do. Apparently I'm the family hypocondriac. That goes for my own parents too. :(

Michelle

It's such a damn shame that the people we trust and count on the most seem to hurt and let us down the most :angry:

Vladimir Gluten Newbie

Just to chime in here:

Moving on.

  • 2 weeks later...
brendygirl Community Regular

I think that so many people out there are NEEDY for attention and create drama and have odd requests and idiosyncracies, that serious detail-oriented issues like those that come with dealing with celiac are easily pushed into the DRAMA QUEEN category just because it's so easy for people to do that.

When I was married 2 years ago I'd just eat before I went to my in-laws. They got so used to it that eventually I was able to bring my own food. I think they just figured it was how I stay thin. haha

I NEVER REQUEST special foods from anyone cooking at their home because it's not worth it- you come off as high maintenance+the nuances of it are too confusing to most people anyway=in the end the cross contamination and ignorance about the fine details like sauces and things- practically guarantee that something will get gluten somewhere. Best to just eat beforehand and carry along snacks in my purse to sneak into if necessary. I like to cook, so I bring a dish that I can eat and keep it in my eyesight and eat only that sometimes, too.

I have one friend and my mom who I will let cook for me, but I'm usually WITH them when they prepare it.

IrishKelly Contributor
I think that so many people out there are NEEDY for attention and create drama and have odd requests and idiosyncracies, that serious detail-oriented issues like those that come with dealing with celiac are easily pushed into the DRAMA QUEEN category just because it's so easy for people to do that.

When I was married 2 years ago I'd just eat before I went to my in-laws. They got so used to it that eventually I was able to bring my own food. I think they just figured it was how I stay thin. haha

I NEVER REQUEST special foods from anyone cooking at their home because it's not worth it- you come off as high maintenance+the nuances of it are too confusing to most people anyway=in the end the cross contamination and ignorance about the fine details like sauces and things- practically guarantee that something will get gluten somewhere. Best to just eat beforehand and carry along snacks in my purse to sneak into if necessary. I like to cook, so I bring a dish that I can eat and keep it in my eyesight and eat only that sometimes, too.

I have one friend and my mom who I will let cook for me, but I'm usually WITH them when they prepare it.

Those are some great tips, my only issue now is that i would like to have Thanksgiving at my house, but i know my in-laws won't let me do that...every holiday HAS to be at there house...it really sucks!! I just feel if i could have Thanksgiving at my house they can have every other Holiday at there house, i think that sounds being over fair on my part if you ask me. I just want to be able to sit down at a table on one holiday with a completely gluten-free/df meal and Thanksgiving would be the best choice because evrything is already most of those, so i know everyone would love the meal <_<

gf4life Enthusiast

My husband almost always has to work on Thanksgiving, so we always schedule our dinner for either before he goes to work or after he gets off work, and his family never comes over for that, but we usually have friends over, and I make it completely gluten-free...This year my husband has the whole week off, so we are taking our family of 5 on vacation and having Thanksgiving at Legoland in Carlsbad (outside of San Diego). We will cook a gluten-free turkey dinner in the kitchen at the timeshare and I expect it will be wonderful. :D Thanksgiving should be a relaxing fun time for you to enjoy your family and friends AND the food, and reflect on all the things you are thankful for.

Irishkelly, you could always just tell them that you are having Thanksgiving at your house this year, and they are invited to join you if they wish. If they still choose to have it at their house then you won't be there. Invite other people over if the family won't come, there are always too many people who spend the holidays alone. We tend to end up with a lot of single parents and their kids, who would be alone otherwise, and it is always a very special time.

IrishKelly Contributor
My husband almost always has to work on Thanksgiving, so we always schedule our dinner for either before he goes to work or after he gets off work, and his family never comes over for that, but we usually have friends over, and I make it completely gluten-free...This year my husband has the whole week off, so we are taking our family of 5 on vacation and having Thanksgiving at Legoland in Carlsbad (outside of San Diego). We will cook a gluten-free turkey dinner in the kitchen at the timeshare and I expect it will be wonderful. :D Thanksgiving should be a relaxing fun time for you to enjoy your family and friends AND the food, and reflect on all the things you are thankful for.

Irishkelly, you could always just tell them that you are having Thanksgiving at your house this year, and they are invited to join you if they wish. If they still choose to have it at their house then you won't be there. Invite other people over if the family won't come, there are always too many people who spend the holidays alone. We tend to end up with a lot of single parents and their kids, who would be alone otherwise, and it is always a very special time.

Yes, so true. I just feel like my in-laws aill get mad again...you know what i mean? - I guess i can't please the world!

Guest cassidy

I hear you on this. My mother in law made banana bread for my husband. He took a piece of it and literally put it under my nose while telling me how good it is. I was like - do you think that makes me feel good? He was very angry in the beginning because we couldn't just order a pizza or go out to any restaurant if people called us on the fly. It has been 9 months now and he is finalliy coming around. He doesn't double dip in shared things and he is starting to be a bit more considerate.

As for the parents and in laws I bring my own food when I go over. I don't trust other people to feed me so they are perfectly fine with me bringing what I want. I still help them make & clean up dinner and they have accepted this. For thanksgiving we are going to my sister in law's and her entire family will be there. I think I will cook a turkey and mashed potatoes at home for me and just bring a plate over. I don't want to feel deprived but there is no way I would chance eating anything there.

It is frustrating because I know if my husband had celiac and I didn't, I would have read up on everything like I did for myself and I would be perfectly capable of making food for him. I'm pregnant and was feeling really bad in the beginning. He came home one night and said - since you don't feel well, don't worry about making my dinner. I was like - how about you making ME dinner - I'm the one that doesn't feel well, and of course, you are a grown man and can make your own dinner tonight. I don't think he would have a clue how to make anything for me because he just hasn't taken an interest. When we have the baby I'm very nervous about introducing gluten. I can see him getting upset when I feed the baby rice crackers and cereal and not let him/her have gluten. I am not going to feed the baby food that will make me sick especially if the baby has any celiac genes. That will be the fight for next year.

eKatherine Apprentice
He came home one night and said - since you don't feel well, don't worry about making my dinner. I was like - how about you making ME dinner - I'm the one that doesn't feel well, and of course, you are a grown man and can make your own dinner tonight. I don't think he would have a clue how to make anything for me because he just hasn't taken an interest. When we have the baby I'm very nervous about introducing gluten. I can see him getting upset when I feed the baby rice crackers and cereal and not let him/her have gluten. I am not going to feed the baby food that will make me sick especially if the baby has any celiac genes. That will be the fight for next year.

I had a boyfriend who did this. I told him I was too tired to cook, so he said, don't worry about cooking for me and opened up himself a can of tunafish. I was dumbfounded. My daughter and I went out for pizza, and he was mad I didn't bring him. Hello????

IrishKelly Contributor
I hear you on this. My mother in law made banana bread for my husband. He took a piece of it and literally put it under my nose while telling me how good it is. I was like - do you think that makes me feel good? He was very angry in the beginning because we couldn't just order a pizza or go out to any restaurant if people called us on the fly. It has been 9 months now and he is finalliy coming around. He doesn't double dip in shared things and he is starting to be a bit more considerate.

As for the parents and in laws I bring my own food when I go over. I don't trust other people to feed me so they are perfectly fine with me bringing what I want. I still help them make & clean up dinner and they have accepted this. For thanksgiving we are going to my sister in law's and her entire family will be there. I think I will cook a turkey and mashed potatoes at home for me and just bring a plate over. I don't want to feel deprived but there is no way I would chance eating anything there.

It is frustrating because I know if my husband had celiac and I didn't, I would have read up on everything like I did for myself and I would be perfectly capable of making food for him. I'm pregnant and was feeling really bad in the beginning. He came home one night and said - since you don't feel well, don't worry about making my dinner. I was like - how about you making ME dinner - I'm the one that doesn't feel well, and of course, you are a grown man and can make your own dinner tonight. I don't think he would have a clue how to make anything for me because he just hasn't taken an interest. When we have the baby I'm very nervous about introducing gluten. I can see him getting upset when I feed the baby rice crackers and cereal and not let him/her have gluten. I am not going to feed the baby food that will make me sick especially if the baby has any celiac genes. That will be the fight for next year.

Hopefully the baby won't have any celiac genes in him/her. It's so amazing how people (like husbands of course) can take the simplest things for granted!! When i don't cook dinner my husband will cook for himself and possibly my son...so i understand!

MistressIsis Apprentice

such insensitivity from those that are supposed to love us!

After my doc figured out the intolerance, I'd come home, dinner would be waiting & I'd end up not being able to eat it. "Yes I understand you took the time to do everything but I CAN'T eat it" He would literally get mad enough that he wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. or sometimes a few days

I actually was the 1 that ended up saying, just cook for yourself, I'll figure something out.

Our deal was always that he did the cooking, he was really good at it & I hate it. But after going gluten-free he didn;t even try to help figure out what I could eat other than complaining how much (of MY money) I was spending on food and still expected $$ from me for groceries I couldn't eat! Even seeing me feel better, look better and all that meant nothing.

hmm, odd I just re-read that & man what a jerk! So glad to be rid of that!

IrishKelly Contributor
such insensitivity from those that are supposed to love us!

After my doc figured out the intolerance, I'd come home, dinner would be waiting & I'd end up not being able to eat it. "Yes I understand you took the time to do everything but I CAN'T eat it" He would literally get mad enough that he wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. or sometimes a few days

I actually was the 1 that ended up saying, just cook for yourself, I'll figure something out.

Our deal was always that he did the cooking, he was really good at it & I hate it. But after going gluten-free he didn;t even try to help figure out what I could eat other than complaining how much (of MY money) I was spending on food and still expected $$ from me for groceries I couldn't eat! Even seeing me feel better, look better and all that meant nothing.

hmm, odd I just re-read that & man what a jerk! So glad to be rid of that!

Good for you!

Guest nini

do I ever? oh sometimes, BUT I have to brag, last week he made a special effort to make a gluten-free meal for all of us... He even brought all the stuff home from the store that he needed. He made us the most delicious spagetti and sauce, using Tinkyada rice pasta and BUFFALO meat, and fresh orange bell peppers and garlic, mixed into a Walnut Acres sauce... (now this was a rare occassion but hopefully it will be the start of something new!)

prinsessa Contributor

I know how it feels to have unsupportive inlaws. They even act like I am doing something that is harming the children. I think my kids will survive without gluten filled cookies :rolleyes: . I am getting so sick it of it that I feel like crying sometimes. It is hard enough to be gluten intolerant, but having people be mean about it makes it even harder. Dh even said something to his mom about me not being able to eat a pasta dish that she was going to make for our son's birthday (before I found out the kids were gluten intolerant). She said (in a mean way) "well everyone else can eat it".

What makes it even harder is that we live in the same building. I never try to control what other people feed their kids, so I don't know why people want to control what I feed my kids. I just need to vent and I can't vent to DH because he gets really defensive about anything I say about his family. I am sick of them trying to make me feel like I am a bad mother :( . I know I'm not, but it still hurts.

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First noticed in the gym. • Abdominal bulge on the right side, not painful but seems to be getting slightly bigger. Doctor didn’t find a hernia on ultrasound, but it was done lying down (I’ve read those can miss hernias). Noticed it like 6 months ago, couldve been there longer. • extremely dry and mildly swollen hands (this started before I started excessive hand-washing), and bloated face. • Signs of inattentive ADHD (noticed over the past 3 years), now combined with severe OCD focused on contamination and cross-contact. • Growth/puberty seemed to started after going gluten-free. Before that I was not developing. Dont know if any of these are because of celiac as my dad doesnt have those and he is a lot less strict gluten-free then me. I also had pancreatic elastase tested four times: values were 46 (very low), 236, 158, and 306 (normal). Gastroenterologist said one normal value is enough and I don’t have EPI. Family doctor prescribed Kreon anyway (after I pushed for it), and I just started taking 1 capsule (10,000 units) with meals 2 days ago, but couldn‘t see effects yet because I’ve been constipated the last few days. Maybe because of thyroid. I don’t have Hashimoto’s. No thyroid antibodies. But I took levothyroxine for slightly low FT4 levels. My thyroid levels fluctuated between borderline low and low-normal. And recently lowered my dose so that may have caused the constipating. I probably didn’t need it in the first place, and am thinking about stopping it soon.   Current Diet Right now, I only eat a very limited set of “safe” foods I prepare myself: • Gluten-free bread with tuna or cheese • Milk and cornflakes • gluten-free cookies/snacks • Bananas (the only fruit I trust right now) I rarely eat other fruits or vegetables, because I’m scared of contamination. My dad, who also has celiac but doesn’t care about CC, buys fruits, and he might’ve picked them up right after handling gluten bread. That makes me feel unsafe eating them. Even fruit at stores or markets feels risky because so many people with gluten on their hands touch them.   My Home Situation (Shared Kitchen) We’re a family of 5. Only my dad and I have celiac. He eats glutenfree but doesn’t care about CC and sometimes (but rarely) cheats. My mom and siblings eat gluten bread at every meal. My mom is honest (so if i ask her to be cautious, she most likely would try to), but doesn’t seem to understand how serious celiac is. She: • Stopped using gluten flour • only cooks gluten-free meals (but they still heat up gluten bread and also cook gluten noodles) • Keeps separate butter/jam/jars for me • Bought me a stainless steel pan Bu we didn’t replace old wooden utensils, cutting boards, or other pans. The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
    • lmemsm
      I've seen a lot of recipes for chia pudding, so I decided to make some with chia, water, cocoa and honey.  Didn't like the taste, so I added ground sunflower and ground pumpkin seed to it.  It tasted okay, but came out more like frosting that pudding.  I used to make pudding with tapioca starch, milk powder, water and sugar.  It came out very good but I haven't figured out what to use to replace the milk powder to make it dairy free.  Most starches will work in place of tapioca starch but quantity varies depending on the type of starch.  If I didn't add enough starch to get a pudding consistency, I'd add gelatin as well to fix it.  Avocado and cocoa makes a good dessert with a pudding like consistency.  Unfortunately, I have a bad reaction to avocados.
    • lmemsm
      Seems like when I find a gluten free product I like, the producer stops manufacturing it and then I have trouble finding a new gluten free source for it.  What's worse, I've been contacting companies to ask if their products are gluten free and they don't even bother to respond.  So, it's making it very hard to find safe replacements.  I was buying teff flour at nuts.com and they no longer carry it.  I noticed Naturevibe has teff and soy flour.  However, I can't get a response as to whether their flours are safe for someone with celiac.  Can't get a response from Aldi if their peas are safe for someone with celiac either.  I know Bob's Red Mill has teff flour but was hoping to get a large quantity.  I've been using up the 20 ounce Bob's Red Mill teff flour too quickly.  Does anyone know of a good source for teff or soy flour?  Any recommendations where to get gluten free beans, peas or lentils?  I found some packages of gluten free beans at Sprouts but not much variety.  I've also been looking for lentil elbow macaroni and it seems like no one is making that now that Tolerant was bought out.  Any suggestions for safe sources for these types of ingredients.  Thanks.
    • chrish42
      All I can say is this site is great!
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