My Adult Children Are Sick And In Denial

[CatandCanary]

I'm new to being a Celiac and my kids are also sick, my son 21 and daughter 24 both have realy bad mood swings and all the other problems that I had suffered with for years. It seems they are much worse than I was. They have both tried the diet and when they are gluten free it is as if they change into such wonderful and balance people but when they eat gluten they become almost manic or high on the food they are eating and then the depression and body problems. My question is what can I do about the problem or should I even try. My son's mood were so bad at one point one doctor told me he thought he might be bipolar. My daughter woke up this morning saying she was bothered by everyone, me, her boyfriend, and her co-workers because no one is listening to her, everyone else has a problem, she doesn't feel it is her and I can tell you it is her, the bad mood swings make her awful to live with. The problems they have are empacting there lives in negative ways. Please help if you have any ideas.

[tarnalberry]

Unfortunately, they are adults, and there's not a lot you can do. You can tell them you had a similar experince, ask them to get tested by their doctor, and demonstrate that they need not be at all deprived on a gluten free diet. But don't nag, or they may stay on gluten just to annoy you.

[Nancym]

Are they living with you? If so, you could simply take your household gluten-free if you're the one doing the cooking and shopping. Put your foot down and say that as long as they're living with you, they're going to be gluten-free. It's what I'd do. Not a whole lot you can do outside the house, but at least in your space you can control it. That's how my parents were with us. When we were on their turf, we had to live by their rules. If they were into wheat grass and soy burgers... that's what we had to eat.

Actually, I'd probably be a little sneaky about it and not tell anyone. I'd just do it. If you tell them they'll rebell by going out and stuffing themselves full of gluten.

Other than that, not a whole lot you can do really. Present them with the information but if you push too hard, they're likely to reject the info.

[tiredofdoctors]

My daughter was just tested for Celiac because of other things, but my son has not been. My son, however, is WAY on the bandwagon with me with regard to gluten-free cooking, and he has said for a very long time how TERRIBLE he feels after "carbs" (meaning pasta!).

Are your kids open to receiving information with regard to Celiac? If not, leave the one that will scar the poop out of them that has to do with neurological damage. That would get ANYONE on board quickly! Or at least make them get tested . . . . .

Whatever happens, good luck to you, and please keep us updated . . . .

[winki4]

My two adult brothers (53 & 55)both have serious mental and physical issues, one being diagnosed as bi-polar. Both completely refuse to accept a Celiac disease diagnosis. I assumed it must not be "macho" to have a problem with food. It amazes me how they both choose to remain ill. I'm 11 years well now after spending 40 plus years sick all the time. They both have no idea what a life they are missing out on!

[CatandCanary]

Unfortunately, they are adults, and there's not a lot you can do. You can tell them you had a similar experince, ask them to get tested by their doctor, and demonstrate that they need not be at all deprived on a gluten free diet. But don't nag, or they may stay on gluten just to annoy you.

Hi Tiffany,

Thank you for your reply. Your right the fact that they are adults. It's hard because they don't realy understand what they are doing to themselves. They constantly complain about thier problems and in the back of my mind I want to scream out the gluten word. I know I can't nag at them or it will get worse. It's realy hard to see your kids mess themselves up with drugs or alcohal but gluten I never thought it would be the most distructive. Thanks for your help and your ideas.

Cathy

[Pink-Bunny]

I agree with Nancym...just start cooking gluten free and don't say anything. Unless it's stuff like breads and pasta I don't think they would notice. and if they do notice just say you want to talk to them about it without them interrupting.

On a side note. I wish my grama was more like you. I'm doing gluten-free on my own no professional dx for now. And she just thinks I'm nuts and a 'fad'. But I know how I feel. And I think that she'd be happy now that I haven't been complaining about my problems.

sorry about that.

[CatandCanary]

Are they living with you? If so, you could simply take your household gluten-free if you're the one doing the cooking and shopping. Put your foot down and say that as long as they're living with you, they're going to be gluten-free. It's what I'd do. Not a whole lot you can do outside the house, but at least in your space you can control it. That's how my parents were with us. When we were on their turf, we had to live by their rules. If they were into wheat grass and soy burgers... that's what we had to eat.

Actually, I'd probably be a little sneaky about it and not tell anyone. I'd just do it. If you tell them they'll rebell by going out and stuffing themselves full of gluten.

Other than that, not a whole lot you can do really. Present them with the information but if you push too hard, they're likely to reject the info.

Hi Nancym,

My son lives on his own but is always at the house to do laundry and get some free home cooked food. My daughter is living with me but she is only here every other weekend because she spends most of her nights with her boyfriend.

I did gluten free the intire house and only cook gluten free food and they complain all the time that we don't have real food, it suprising because they always leave full.

Thanks for thinking the way I do.

Cathy

[CatandCanary]

My daughter was just tested for Celiac because of other things, but my son has not been. My son, however, is WAY on the bandwagon with me with regard to gluten-free cooking, and he has said for a very long time how TERRIBLE he feels after "carbs" (meaning pasta!).

Are your kids open to receiving information with regard to Celiac? If not, leave the one that will scar the poop out of them that has to do with neurological damage. That would get ANYONE on board quickly! Or at least make them get tested . . . . .

Whatever happens, good luck to you, and please keep us updated . . . .

Hi tiredofdoctors,

My son wants to be gluten free but always complains it cost to much for the food or it's to hard to get on the run, just lazy I think. He told me he knows it affects him because he sometimes feels drunk or sick after eating a lot of gluten and his thinking changes along with bad moods and depression. Do you know where I can get the neurological damage info? My daughter just doesn't seem to believe she has a problem but everyone around her does, realy bad moods, constapation and other things.

Thanks for taking the time to answer it realy helps.

My two adult brothers (53 & 55)both have serious mental and physical issues, one being diagnosed as bi-polar. Both completely refuse to accept a Celiac disease diagnosis. I assumed it must not be "macho" to have a problem with food. It amazes me how they both choose to remain ill. I'm 11 years well now after spending 40 plus years sick all the time. They both have no idea what a life they are missing out on!

Hi winki4,

I also have a brother that has problems, when he was a child he had all the bad stuff. He still today no matter how hard I try will not live a normal life, he lives like a homeless person by choice, he doesn't have to he is a suppervior and hold a very good job. He has mood and reasoning problems this has gone on from childhood until now and he is 44 year old. I remains distant from all of the family. I am trying to contact him with the hope that he will listen to me about poss gluten problem but I don't think there is much hope for him. It has been realy hard for me because my parents died when we were in our early 20s. I have tried a lot of things but nothing has ever helped him.

My heart goes out to you. I don't know about you but I love feeling better.

Cathy

I agree with Nancym...just start cooking gluten free and don't say anything. Unless it's stuff like breads and pasta I don't think they would notice. and if they do notice just say you want to talk to them about it without them interrupting.

On a side note. I wish my grama was more like you. I'm doing gluten-free on my own no professional dx for now. And she just thinks I'm nuts and a 'fad'. But I know how I feel. And I think that she'd be happy now that I haven't been complaining about my problems.

sorry about that.

Hi Pink Bunny,

You have to believe in yourself always, you are all you have and I'm sure it's not a fad. If you feel better you have to keep doing it, even our own doctors have tried to help and it seems we just get sicker. I have found that we must take care of ourselves the best we can because doctors can only do so much and we are just a nother job to them.

I believe in you

[kbtoyssni]

I wouldn't worry if they complain that there's no "normal" food in the house. Honestly, if they want to eat your food, they're just going to have to deal. And who's defining "normal" here? Food is food. I find I eat everything I used to with only a few substitutions.

Although gluten-free is more expensive in the present, I am more than willing to pay more for food if it means a lifetime of health. Not to mention all the money I'm saving on medical bills.

It may just take time. They may need to get more sick before they'll listen. For now, you could sprinkle your house with books like Dangerous Grains which talk about the correlation between celiac and mental disorders.

[tiredofdoctors]

I found some links that deal with Neurological Celiac (some are better than others!):

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link (this one has a LIST of neurological cond.)

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link (This one was written in 1999!!!!!)

Hope these help!

Lynne

[Indea88]

Oh My! I'm sorry to say I know far too well about this denial and frustration for the family. My husband REFUSES to be gluten free, refuses the bloodwork, the testing. He has now developed thyroid disease, suffers from 10-15xs a day trips to the bathroom, mood swings, depression, you name it...He has had diarrhea his entire life, now he is developing other diseases from his stubborness. There is nothing more I can do or say.. My toddler was diagnosed at 18 months. I'll be damned if this disease will affect my young son's life. My son had a diagnoses of Autism until he was gluten free..the spinning, the fogginess, the diarrhea GONE. It took one simple blood test. I hear your frustration, you are not alone...