Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Inappropriate Gifts

floridanative

Recommended Posts

floridanative Community Regular
floridanative
Posted

Okay - we went out to eat last night with dear friends to one of our new fave places Wildfire Grill. It was my fourth time there and their first. They were there upon our arrive as we met there and the female of the couple was holding a little bag but it wasn't that noticeable so it slipped my mind and we went in to enjoy a fantastic meal. After we all paid the server my friend handed me the bag and said Merry Christmas - slightly odd since this couple doesn't celebrate the season as they are agnostic. I tried to put the bag on my chair but she insisted we open it right then. Now I'm really feeling strange since we have known the guy for about 10 years and his new wife for three and we have NEVER exchanged gifts of any kind with them. Okay, I reach in and there are too small calendars - Monet for me and Dali for DH. Okay - these are not pricey and I like lots of calendars so I can use them. Next there is a long linen envelope........like something that would hold a gift check or card. There is no writing on the outside so I open it up and it's a $50 gift card to Wildfire - where were are still sitting. Now I'm mortified.........we have nothing to give them since we've never gotten a gift from them, we'd never think to get them anything and remember - they don't really celebrate Christmas like we do anyway. We thanked them profusely but DH never knew the amt. until we were in the car alone and he was perplexed when he found out. This couple is very conservative when it comes to spending money so they are the last people we'd ever suspect doing something this extravagant.

We still don't know what's up but I mailed a formal TY note to them today. It was the most thoughtful gift I've been giving since my dx last Jan. but still.......I don't think it was appropriate given our history. What do you think and how have you handled the same situation?

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

All you can do is say thank you. At some point, you touched them and they felt like buying you a gift. Certainly they are aware that it was "out of the blue" as much as you were!! If you feel motivated, buy them something as well, but don't feel obligated as it might start a new tradition.

floridanative Community Regular
floridanative
Posted
  • Author
All you can do is say thank you. At some point, you touched them and they felt like buying you a gift. Certainly they are aware that it was "out of the blue" as much as you were!! If you feel motivated, buy them something as well, but don't feel obligated as it might start a new tradition.

Good thinking Carla and I love your new pic btw. We are having a New Years Day lunch here and inviting them along with others so hopefully that will suffice in a way.

angel-jd1 Community Regular
angel-jd1
Posted

I think that the formal thank you was the right move. Another option is to use that gift cert. and take THEM out to eat and use it together. That way you are both getting some joy out of the gift and perhaps it will make you feel less guilty. Good food and good company go together right :)

-Jessica :rolleyes:

Okay - we went out to eat last night with dear friends to one of our new fave places Wildfire Grill. It was my fourth time there and their first. They were there upon our arrive as we met there and the female of the couple was holding a little bag but it wasn't that noticeable so it slipped my mind and we went in to enjoy a fantastic meal. After we all paid the server my friend handed me the bag and said Merry Christmas - slightly odd since this couple doesn't celebrate the season as they are agnostic. I tried to put the bag on my chair but she insisted we open it right then. Now I'm really feeling strange since we have known the guy for about 10 years and his new wife for three and we have NEVER exchanged gifts of any kind with them. Okay, I reach in and there are too small calendars - Monet for me and Dali for DH. Okay - these are not pricey and I like lots of calendars so I can use them. Next there is a long linen envelope........like something that would hold a gift check or card. There is no writing on the outside so I open it up and it's a $50 gift card to Wildfire - where were are still sitting. Now I'm mortified.........we have nothing to give them since we've never gotten a gift from them, we'd never think to get them anything and remember - they don't really celebrate Christmas like we do anyway. We thanked them profusely but DH never knew the amt. until we were in the car alone and he was perplexed when he found out. This couple is very conservative when it comes to spending money so they are the last people we'd ever suspect doing something this extravagant.

We still don't know what's up but I mailed a formal TY note to them today. It was the most thoughtful gift I've been giving since my dx last Jan. but still.......I don't think it was appropriate given our history. What do you think and how have you handled the same situation?

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
Good thinking Carla and I love your new pic btw. We are having a New Years Day lunch here and inviting them along with others so hopefully that will suffice in a way.

Thank you.

That should be a good "pay back."

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

It was a good thought that you sent the thank you note. I would have probably been surprised if someone I least expected gave me a gift but it was a nice gesture. Maybe it was her way of saying they cared.

plantime Contributor
plantime
Posted

I am guilty of doing that to people I know. I just feel the urge to give someone a gift, and the urge does not go away until I give it. I look at it as God using me to help someone in some way that I may never understand. I never expect a gift in return, as your friends probably do not. The formal thank you card was wonderful, and inviting them to your New Year's get-together is a good idea, too.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


breann6 Contributor
breann6
Posted

The thank-you was nice and probably knowing you like the restaurant so much and how much you will enjoy it was all they wanted. I have done things like that out of the blue for friends and thats actually when i usally do things for them- it means more that way to me, un-obligated gifting means you were truely thought of in the most sincere form of friendship, in my book anyway. Not inappropriate at all :) like the old saying goes, its not the gift that counts its the thoughtfulness :D

~breann

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,602
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Victor bowden
    Newest Member
    Victor bowden
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Wheatwacked
      Potential celiac need advice

      By Wheatwacked · Posted

      Yes.  Now, if you hit your finger with a hammer once, wouldn't you do your best not to do it again?  You have identified a direct connection between gluten and pain.  Gluten is your hammer.  Now you have to decide if you need a medical diagnosis.  Some countries have aid benefits tgat you can get if you have the diagnosis, but you must continue eating a gluten-normal diet while pursuing the diagnosis. Otherwise the only reason to continue eating gluten is social. There are over 200 symptoms that could be a result of celiac disease.. Celiac Disease and Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity  both cause multiple vitamin and mineral deficiency.  Dealing with that should help your recovery, even while eating gluten.  Phosphatidyl Choline supplements can help your gut if digesting fats is a problem,  Consider that any medications you take could be causing some of the symptoms, aside from gluten.        
    • trents
      Potential celiac need advice

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome to the forum, @Ben98! If you have been consciously or unconsciously avoiding gluten because of the discomfort it produces then it is likely that your blood antibody testing for celiac disease has been rendered invalid. Valid testing requires regular consumption of generous amounts of gluten. The other strong possibility is that you have NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity) which shares many of the same symptoms with celiac disease but does not have the autoimmune component and thus does not damage the small bowel lining. It is 10x mor common than celiac disease. There is currently no test for NCGS. Celiac disease must first be ruled out. Some experts in the field believe it can be a precursor to the development of celiac disease. Having one or both of the primary genes for developing celiac disease does not imply that you will develop active celiac disease. It simply establishes the potential for it. About 40% of the population has the genetic potential but only about 1% develop active celiac disease. 
    • Ben98
      Potential celiac need advice

      By Ben98 · Posted

      TTG blood test and total IGA tested on many occasions which have always remained normal, upper GI pain under my ribs since 2022. I had an endoscopy in 2023 which showed moderate gastritis. no biopsy’s were taken unfortunately. genetic test was positive for HLADQ2. extreme bloating after eating gluten, it’ll feel like I’ve got bricks in my stomach so uncomfortably full. the pain is like a dull ache under the upper left almost like a stitch feeling after a long walk. I am just wanting some advice has anyone here experienced gastritis with a gluten issue before? thank you  
    • Wheatwacked
      Unusual bright yellow but odourless discharge

      By Wheatwacked · Posted

      "Conclusions: The urinary iodine level was significantly lower in women with postmenopausal osteoporosis, and iodine replacement may be important in preventing osteoporosis"  Body iodine status in women with postmenopausal osteoporosis Low iodine can cause thyroid problems, but Iodine deficiency will not show up in thyroid tests.  Iodine is important for healing, its job is to kill off defective and aging cells (Apoptosis). Skin, brain fog, nails, muscle tone all inproved when I started taking 600 mcg (RDA 150 - 1000 mcg) of Liquid Iodine drops. Some with dermatitis herpetiformis, Iodine exacerbates the rash.  I started at 1 drop (50 mcg) and worked up to 12 drops, but I don't have dermatitis herpetiformis.
    • cristiana
      How long does it take to gain weight?

      By cristiana · Posted

      That's great news, you can do this.  Let us know how things go and don't hesitate to ask if you have any more questions. Cristiana 😊
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.