Son's Last Day Of High School

[Teacher1958]

All of these years so many people have told me that someday when my son got ready to graduate from high school, I would be more than ready to have him leave home for college. Well, all of those people were completely and totally wrong! Today was Adam's last day of high school, and he will be leaving for college in New York City toward the end of August. I tried to keep it from my mind all day at work today, but when I got home I just cried and cried. I know that I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful child, but at the same time I don't want his school years to be over, and I dread him leaving for college. I will be lost without him. He is everything a parent could want in a child and more. How do people cope when their kids leave home?

[CarlaB]

Our oldest goes to college in Indiana and we live in Ohio. We used to live in Indiana in the city where she goes to school, so I never changed where I get my hair cut. I drive over every six weeks for a haircut (I see her, of course).

I think every stage of a child's life is fun and I'm enjoying seeing her transition from a child to an adult. I also have five more kids at home, so it might be different for me. I'm not done with the others yet.

I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal in any way. But you will adjust. You'll probably cry again when you drop him off at college ... and at his graduation ceremony. I for one don't understand being excited for your kids to leave home ... though there are days with a couple of them that I look forward to it!

[Guest j_mommy]

Oh man....I cry now when he's goes to grandma's overnight(my son is 2)....I can't even think about him leaving home!!!

Teacher1958....I feel for you!!! I'm sure you'll be in his mind while at college!!!

[darlindeb25]

Graduation was not as difficult for me as when he moved to his own apartment. I have 5 kids and I was upset when each one moved out. It's part of that job we call "motherhood".

[Lisa]

Teacher:

When my husband and I went to the college orientation, I was never more impressed. But, they told the parents a small key to communication.

Mail him a letter, write a nice note and note that there is a $50.00 check inside to maybe dine out or have some fun with. AND THEN NEVER INCLUDE IT IN THE LETTER. I can assure you that you will get a call as soon as it has been received.

It truly works.

You just have ventured into a whole new world and not without challenges. It can be frustrating. I don't know about your son...but. One of mine sold her last semester books and the check for the books was coming on Monday. Okay, well, she went shopping on Monday...and the buyer of the used books could not come up with the money. Checks were like a ping pong ball....bouncing everywhere.

We love them. You'll be fine, it's not a loss, it's a change. I do have to admit, I miss the high school years. I never knew who would come through the door or how many...and loved every minute of it.

Celebrate his celebration. And most of all celebrate your success in him.

[tiredofdoctors]

Lisa -- Thanks for GREAT advice! I'm going to use that . . . . .

Graduation from high school was hard for me with both of mine. My son is my OLDEST, my daughter is my YOUNGEST. I bawled my eyes out. Of course, I cried at the onset of Pre-school, Kindergarten, Middle School, High School . . . . . and when my daughter got married last year -- OH MY!!

You start to get used to it. It takes quite a while, I think. I still MISS my kids. I see my son every Friday, and when I don't have Friday appointments, I really miss him. He has this really quirky sense of humor, and he "gets it" when I say things off-handedly. He calls me about every other day, though, just to tell me the joke of the day. My daughter, on the other hand, is so busy with school, working, husband and trying to stay well that she has her hands full. Not to mention she still has the mother/daughter thing going on, I think. Oh well . . . . . . . .

I've jinxed both my kids and put the official "hex" on them that they will both have TWO KIDS just like them!!!!! They'll be pretty lucky parents . . . . . .

Good luck on the summer and the send-off to college. I'll be thinking about you. May cry a little with you, too. Take care.

[Teacher1958]

You guys are great! Thanks for all of your encouragement. It helps to hear from other people who have survived and seem happy. I guess this is just one of those things I have to endure, and I will adjust eventually. We'll get the video monitor for both computers and sign up for instant messaging (oh, jeez, more technology) and hopefully make contact once a day. I will keep you posted on how he's doing.

[sixtytwo]

My kids have been gone for years, but my friend just went through this a couple of years ago and I went through it with her. Her dream child left for college and I never saw anyone take something so hard. I coached her through it, held her when she cried and TRUST ME, if she can get through it, you can. It is very o.k. to feel this way, I think it is a sign of what a good parent you have been and what a nice bond you have with your child. If you don't have anyone left at home, you might think about getting interested in something extra to occupy your time this fall, it could help. Please try not to make your child feel guilty about leaving, this is a natural course of life and you want him to enjoy the heck out of it. If he is close to home, then he will be coming back to visit often, they usually do during that first year, however boys do less than girls as a rule, and you can go there occasionally for parent's weekend etc. This is what you have been preparing him for all these years and he is going to make you proud as the adult you want him to be. This can also be a time for you and your husband to come closer if you have a good marriage. Best wishes to your very functional family......Barbara

[lovegrov]

I'd agree it's very hard. Hug those kids every chance you get. Tell them you love them all the time, cause you never know. Don't overwhelm them with contact because they need their space, but stay in touch.

richard

[kbtoyssni]

I'm the 25-year-old child who's moved out, but I can share some things my mother has said. Around the time when I was recovering from celiac and getting ready to move several hours away for a job, one of her friends had a daughter who wanted to move across the country. The friend complained about this a lot and wanted her daughter to stay close to home, and my mother just told her that she was so thankful that I was healthy enough to move away and live on my own and support myself. The fact that your son can move away on his own to college is a testament to your good parenting. He wouldn't be able to do this if you hadn't done a good job raising him. Which I can imagine is a really hard part of parenting: you do a good job and they leave you.

One of my favorite ways that my dad keeps in contact with me is by sending my newspaper articles. He used to send me articles about different health issues I having (health-related articles have stopped now that I'm gluten-free!) and now he sends me stuff about my old high school gymnastics team and other local stories or financial advice. He always includes a short letter, and it still makes my day when I get a letter from dad. It's so easy and cheap and doesn't take very much time.