Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Going Crazy


natalie

Recommended Posts

natalie Apprentice

Hi Everyone,

My daughter was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. She is 4 now. At first she coped well emotionally, but now she is having a tough time at birthday's etc. Well this past weekend was my husbands and cousin's birthday get together, I hosted and chose the menu. Since they are grown ups we decided to skip cake, there were 14 people and gluten-free cake is expensive. I had decided to make an ice cream cake instead. Well my sister in law just started removing dairy from my niece's diet ( she is 5). I didn't want her to feel left out , so I finally decided on fun popsicles for the kids and ice cream bars for the adults. I made a beautiful dinner, had appetizers, wine etc. Well after dinner everyone jumps up to leave... the place cleared out really quickly. The next day we found out that everyone went back to my mother in laws for regular cake. Apparently my cousin said to my mother in law " I guess I have to make my own cake" My husband and I were upset so we explained the reason that we didn't have cake. It has now turned into this huge family fight. I didn't think an adult needed cake to feel special on their birthday. I feel awful now... completely misunderstood. Everyone thinks we had no reason to feel upset ( even though they were secretive about it). I just don't feel as though my daughter should have to watch everyone eat gluten cake when it bothers her... I thought her family could be her safe place.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Are we wrong to feel hurt? How do everyone else's family approach birthdays?


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



gdobson Explorer

Hi Natalie:

I am so sorry you had that experience. I don't think deep down they meant to hurt yours or your daughters feelings. But you're right - they shouldn't have been so sneaky. My family is not very good at those things either. It usually just ends up with them insisting a little bit won't hurt...

But birthdays are special no matter how old you are. I have never bought a gluten free cake - you're right all that stuff is very expensive. But for all birthdays I always make a gluten free cake, either with a gluten-free mix or from scratch. There is a pretty good recipe for a gluten-free cake on allrecipes.com if you put in gluten free for your search.

I have not had any complaints from any birthday attendees about the gluten-free cake. In fact, most of them say they can't tell. I find that if you add chocolate chips to chocolate cake, it makes them tastier.

When we go to other people's birthday parties that we are not hosting, I always bring my son a cupcake that I made at home and some ice cream in case theirs is not gluten-free.

I don't know if this helps at all. I hope you are able to mend things with your family.

Gina

natalie Apprentice
Hi Natalie:

I am so sorry you had that experience. I don't think deep down they meant to hurt yours or your daughters feelings. But you're right - they shouldn't have been so sneaky. My family is not very good at those things either. It usually just ends up with them insisting a little bit won't hurt...

But birthdays are special no matter how old you are. I have never bought a gluten free cake - you're right all that stuff is very expensive. But for all birthdays I always make a gluten free cake, either with a gluten-free mix or from scratch. There is a pretty good recipe for a gluten-free cake on allrecipes.com if you put in gluten free for your search.

I have not had any complaints from any birthday attendees about the gluten-free cake. In fact, most of them say they can't tell. I find that if you add chocolate chips to chocolate cake, it makes them tastier.

When we go to other people's birthday parties that we are not hosting, I always bring my son a cupcake that I made at home and some ice cream in case theirs is not gluten-free.

I don't know if this helps at all. I hope you are able to mend things with your family.

Gina

Thanks Gina,

You are right, they probably didn't mean to hurt our feelings.

I forgot to mention that I had already had a gluten-free cake for my husband on his actual b day. The day of the celebration I made Ken's ( our cousin) favorite dinner and his favorite nacho dip and the ice cream was his favorite. I guess I thought I worked really hard to make him feel special.

I will try adding choc chips to my gluten-free cake next time. I do make an excellent gluten-free cake although, I find it hard to make without milk or dairy ( my niece's allergy). I use buttermilk in my cake to make it really moist.

I always have cupcakes in the freezer when we are not hosting, and I take one along, the problem is she is getting sensitive about being different.

I guess I have to find a way to deal with the celebrations.

Natalie

lob6796 Contributor

I wouldn't take it so hard. Everyone likes a cake on their birthday, it is an expected part of the birthday ritual. So having some tiny hurt feelings over not getting one is normal. It is also normal for you to feel hurt that they all went and had cake together after without telling you, but their reasoning could have been similar to yours - they didn't want you to know and feel hurt because you guys couldn't come and enjoy cake too, your daughter would feel left out. I would call it even with your family and just move on.

I agree with PP - go buy a gluten free cake mix next time. It's cheap and tastes yummy. In fact, actually making the cake yourself gives off the message "I cared so much about your birthday that I made you a cake myself!" And unfortunately yes, your daughter is going to have alot of instances where she has to watch other people/kids eat things she can't. She can either learn to sit and feel sad/left out, or you can teach her that it's ok they are eating one thing, here is your very own special snack to eat. A friend of mine keeps snacks at all of her relatives houses that her son can eat. Ice cream bars, popsicles, cookies, etc. That way if they are at a get together there, if the hostess brings out snacks for the kids, she can bring out his snacks with them so he feels like one of the crowd.

It takes alot of adjustment to get used to being Celiac, especially for kids who just want to fit in with their friends. I'm sorry she is having a hard time right now.

gfgypsyqueen Enthusiast

family is such fun! There will always be some kind of issue with family members who just don't get it! They don't mean to hurt your feelings, but that's family...

I used to make a flourless choclate cake to take to peoples houses. Add fresh whipped cream and fruit. It was to die for! That way dessert was gluten-free and peanut free. A dairy allergy eliminated that option for us. Now I make a "Pavlova" cake. There is a recipe on this site and it is GREAT!

Cherrybrooke kitchen makes great mixes that the gluten-free daughter and the dairy free child could eat and they would love it.

I feel bad for any child who has a severe allergy or intolerance or health issue that makes them different, because being a kid is hard enough soemtimes. I have Celiacs and my kids have severe food allergies, so below is what we do. Sorry to be a little harsh, but their allergies mandate no mistakes or it is a life threatening reaction and a trip to the hospital. Maybe something similar will work for you.

As far as your child not wanting to feel different, I hate to say this, but nip that thought in the butt immediately. It sucks to be different, even for adults, but it is not going to change any time soon. Your daughter is 5 so I am guessing she will be entering school in the fall? School is going to be very hard especially if she gets upset about being different. We go through the same emotions with my daughter , 6, She has a nut allergy. I tell everyone about her nut allergy. She even tells everyone about her allergy. She wears a medical alert bracelet. And she brings snacks or cupcakes where ever she goes. There is quite a bit of food she can not eat and a severe reaction that would send her to the hospital so we don't play around. But she sometimes gets upset and questions why god would do this to her or states very emphatically that she is no longer allergic to nuts. My only response is that god gave her this allergy because he knows she can handle it and he knows she will do something good with it. Maybe she will be a pediatric allergist? Maybe she will find a cure to anaphylaxis? And as far as no longer having this allergy, when her dr says that she is no longer allergic, he will do a challenge in his office. Until he tells her she can eat nuts, she will NOT be allowed to eat nuts.

The only thing that helped at school is a good teacher and a great safe snack box. I make sure her peanut safe snacks are something that the other kids would really want. If there is a food that your daughter really wants, but it is not gluten-free, make it a puzzle that she helps you figure out how to make it gluten-free. We go to chocolate shops knowing that we cannot eat ANYTHING there, but we go for ideas. Then we go home and make gluten-free & peanut safe versions.

If you need some ideas about starting school and making it safe for her, let me know. Our first year was a massive learning experience. :P

TrillumHunter Enthusiast

Sorry, if this is a grown-up person I respectfully disagree. Umm, I think he should go on ahead and grow up. There are times as an adult when you don't get a big party let alone a cake. So, when you offered to host this lovely meal with all his personal favorites did he say, "No, I think I'd rather have a cake from Kroger." I bet that he didn't. If your mil is in on this I would find her equally culpable. The whole deal seems mean spirited especially considering you were dealing with not one but two children's food issues. And to jump up and leave to go eat it? Aww, is not the same if he couldn't eat on his "real" birthday? Boo-hoo! That sounds like something my six year would say. (Who, by the way, has celebrated his b-day on other days twice in his life without complaint!)

Just my two cents! :rolleyes:

JennyC Enthusiast

I'm sorry that you had that experience. I understand where you are coming from though. It is heart breaking to see your child upset about not being able to have food. We have taken our 3 year old son to one B-day party so far and we brought a cupcake, but he still freaked because the cake was Disney's Cars theme and was beautiful and looked delicious. It made me so sad. :(

Maybe next time you can make a cake from scratch. It's much cheaper! I converted this recipe yesterday. For the flour I used my trusty mixture: 3 parts white rice flour, 2 parts potato starch, 1 part tapioca flour, and 1 tsp xanthan gum for every 1.5 cups flour. I would also add more chocolate to the recipe, but I'm a chocolate addict! :P This cake is super moist. It got fantastic reviews on the website. It's worth a try! Duncan Hines creamy home style frosting, except for the coconut pecan flavor, is gluten free and you can also make delicious homemade gluten free frosting as well.

Open Original Shared Link

Hope this helps. :)


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



natalie Apprentice
family is such fun! There will always be some kind of issue with family members who just don't get it! They don't mean to hurt your feelings, but that's family...

I used to make a flourless choclate cake to take to peoples houses. Add fresh whipped cream and fruit. It was to die for! That way dessert was gluten-free and peanut free. A dairy allergy eliminated that option for us. Now I make a "Pavlova" cake. There is a recipe on this site and it is GREAT!

Cherrybrooke kitchen makes great mixes that the gluten-free daughter and the dairy free child could eat and they would love it.

I feel bad for any child who has a severe allergy or intolerance or health issue that makes them different, because being a kid is hard enough soemtimes. I have Celiacs and my kids have severe food allergies, so below is what we do. Sorry to be a little harsh, but their allergies mandate no mistakes or it is a life threatening reaction and a trip to the hospital. Maybe something similar will work for you.

As far as your child not wanting to feel different, I hate to say this, but nip that thought in the butt immediately. It sucks to be different, even for adults, but it is not going to change any time soon. Your daughter is 5 so I am guessing she will be entering school in the fall? School is going to be very hard especially if she gets upset about being different. We go through the same emotions with my daughter , 6, She has a nut allergy. I tell everyone about her nut allergy. She even tells everyone about her allergy. She wears a medical alert bracelet. And she brings snacks or cupcakes where ever she goes. There is quite a bit of food she can not eat and a severe reaction that would send her to the hospital so we don't play around. But she sometimes gets upset and questions why god would do this to her or states very emphatically that she is no longer allergic to nuts. My only response is that god gave her this allergy because he knows she can handle it and he knows she will do something good with it. Maybe she will be a pediatric allergist? Maybe she will find a cure to anaphylaxis? And as far as no longer having this allergy, when her dr says that she is no longer allergic, he will do a challenge in his office. Until he tells her she can eat nuts, she will NOT be allowed to eat nuts.

The only thing that helped at school is a good teacher and a great safe snack box. I make sure her peanut safe snacks are something that the other kids would really want. If there is a food that your daughter really wants, but it is not gluten-free, make it a puzzle that she helps you figure out how to make it gluten-free. We go to chocolate shops knowing that we cannot eat ANYTHING there, but we go for ideas. Then we go home and make gluten-free & peanut safe versions.

If you need some ideas about starting school and making it safe for her, let me know. Our first year was a massive learning experience. :P

Hi,

Your flourless cake sounds wonderful!

I don't believe that Cherrybrook Kitchens ships to Canada, but I'll look into that again.

My daughter already goes to daycare ( I send all her food) and she handles it very well day to day, but she seems to struggle with birthdays. I do have that " this is how it is" attitude most of the time with her, but I guess I thought the family could rally around and help create a "normal" environment at home. Maybe I have unrealistic thoughts or expectations.

Wow, you have a great attitude about your daughters allergy. What a great way to look at it.

Thanks so much for the support, if I need ideas, I know where to come. :D

natalie Apprentice
I wouldn't take it so hard. Everyone likes a cake on their birthday, it is an expected part of the birthday ritual. So having some tiny hurt feelings over not getting one is normal. It is also normal for you to feel hurt that they all went and had cake together after without telling you, but their reasoning could have been similar to yours - they didn't want you to know and feel hurt because you guys couldn't come and enjoy cake too, your daughter would feel left out. I would call it even with your family and just move on.

I agree with PP - go buy a gluten free cake mix next time. It's cheap and tastes yummy. In fact, actually making the cake yourself gives off the message "I cared so much about your birthday that I made you a cake myself!" And unfortunately yes, your daughter is going to have alot of instances where she has to watch other people/kids eat things she can't. She can either learn to sit and feel sad/left out, or you can teach her that it's ok they are eating one thing, here is your very own special snack to eat. A friend of mine keeps snacks at all of her relatives houses that her son can eat. Ice cream bars, popsicles, cookies, etc. That way if they are at a get together there, if the hostess brings out snacks for the kids, she can bring out his snacks with them so he feels like one of the crowd.

It takes alot of adjustment to get used to being Celiac, especially for kids who just want to fit in with their friends. I'm sorry she is having a hard time right now.

You are right, I'm sure their reasoning was similar to mine. Thanks for the perspective ;)

natalie Apprentice
Sorry, if this is a grown-up person I respectfully disagree. Umm, I think he should go on ahead and grow up. There are times as an adult when you don't get a big party let alone a cake. So, when you offered to host this lovely meal with all his personal favorites did he say, "No, I think I'd rather have a cake from Kroger." I bet that he didn't. If your mil is in on this I would find her equally culpable. The whole deal seems mean spirited especially considering you were dealing with not one but two children's food issues. And to jump up and leave to go eat it? Aww, is not the same if he couldn't eat on his "real" birthday? Boo-hoo! That sounds like something my six year would say. (Who, by the way, has celebrated his b-day on other days twice in his life without complaint!)

Just my two cents! :rolleyes:

This was exactly my thoughts and feelings from the beginning. It was just the way it played out that bothered my hubby and myself. We are an open and honest family, and the secrecy and sneakiness shocked us! It is nice to know that someone else sees it my way. Thanks

natalie Apprentice
I'm sorry that you had that experience. I understand where you are coming from though. It is heart breaking to see your child upset about not being able to have food. We have taken our 3 year old son to one B-day party so far and we brought a cupcake, but he still freaked because the cake was Disney's Cars theme and was beautiful and looked delicious. It made me so sad. :(

Maybe next time you can make a cake from scratch. It's much cheaper! I converted this recipe yesterday. For the flour I used my trusty mixture: 3 parts white rice flour, 2 parts potato starch, 1 part tapioca flour, and 1 tsp xanthan gum for every 1.5 cups flour. I would also add more chocolate to the recipe, but I'm a chocolate addict! :P This cake is super moist. It got fantastic reviews on the website. It's worth a try! Duncan Hines creamy home style frosting, except for the coconut pecan flavor, is gluten free and you can also make delicious homemade gluten free frosting as well.

Open Original Shared Link

Hope this helps. :)

I'm sorry to hear about your son. On my daughters b-day I made a gluten-free Barbie cake with a wilton pan. Everyone loved it.

The reason I didn't make a cake from scratch was because I didn't find out about my niece's milk allergy with enough notice to research a good recipe. I felt overwhelmed making the other dishes for such a large group. Next time I will be better prepared.

You receipe sounds great. What wet ingredients did you use? I have found that adding buttermilk instead of milk makes a cake very moist.

Thankyou for the tips.

JennyC Enthusiast
You receipe sounds great. What wet ingredients did you use? I have found that adding buttermilk instead of milk makes a cake very moist.

I basically followed the directions. I used regular milk, but I bet buttermilk would be great! You could also use soy milk if it needs to be dairy free. You should be able to make soy buttermilk/sour milk by adding a little bit of vinegar to the soy milk before adding it to the batter. I did go with the 1 cup of boiling water, I added some instant coffee crystals, and I did not think that the batter was very runny. Next time I will add more cocoa powder or maybe chocolate chips, which melt due to the boiling water, and maybe use a little less oil and also use buttermilk. My son's birthday is coming up in early August and I am determined to have a wonderful recipe to use for his party! (Although the cake may not be very pretty. :rolleyes: ) I wish that I could make the cake, and then have a professional bakery decorate it, cross contamination free of course! What wishful thinking. :lol:

natalie Apprentice
I basically followed the directions. I used regular milk, but I bet buttermilk would be great! You could also use soy milk if it needs to be dairy free. You should be able to make soy buttermilk/sour milk by adding a little bit of vinegar to the soy milk before adding it to the batter. I did go with the 1 cup of boiling water, I added some instant coffee crystals, and I did not think that the batter was very runny. Next time I will add more cocoa powder or maybe chocolate chips, which melt due to the boiling water, and maybe use a little less oil and also use buttermilk. My son's birthday is coming up in early August and I am determined to have a wonderful recipe to use for his party! (Although the cake may not be very pretty. :rolleyes: ) I wish that I could make the cake, and then have a professional bakery decorate it, cross contamination free of course! What wishful thinking. :lol:

Hi Jenny,

Thanks so much for the recipe. It sounds great and I'll definitely give it a try.

Here is the link for Wilton shaped pans, scroll down and you will find "Lightning McQueen from Cars Cake Pan"

Open Original Shared Link

I have made tons of cakes with these pans. They give you all of the instructions of how to mix the icing and colours and how to decorate step by step. I have had no prefessional courses and I have made great cakes. The pan and icing tips will cost a bit...but it is worth it when you see your child's face. Plus, once you have bought the tips they are reusable.

Natalie

Buttercup Rookie
I basically followed the directions. I used regular milk, but I bet buttermilk would be great! You could also use soy milk if it needs to be dairy free. You should be able to make soy buttermilk/sour milk by adding a little bit of vinegar to the soy milk before adding it to the batter. I did go with the 1 cup of boiling water, I added some instant coffee crystals, and I did not think that the batter was very runny. Next time I will add more cocoa powder or maybe chocolate chips, which melt due to the boiling water, and maybe use a little less oil and also use buttermilk. My son's birthday is coming up in early August and I am determined to have a wonderful recipe to use for his party! (Although the cake may not be very pretty. :rolleyes: ) I wish that I could make the cake, and then have a professional bakery decorate it, cross contamination free of course! What wishful thinking. :lol:

Maybe you could find a decorator that would be willing to come to your home and decorate your cake? I know several people that do cakes as a side job/ hobby that would be willing to do such a service. Just an idea ;)

As far as Birthday cakes go Cheesecake is the standard at our house. I make a brownie crust (converting the Hershey's recipe) it is beautiful and delicious, a real crowd pleaser. Not dairy free though :(

Natalie,

I think I would have been a little upset about the way your family rushed off too. It would have been more considerate of them to stay and enjoy the family time and then gotten together for the cake later in the evening. Hopefully the next family event ends on a better note.

Cheri A Contributor

Hi... I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I agree with what everyone else has said. I would be really hurt if I were in your shoes and feel the same way. The way that your family handled that was wrong. They had to know that when you eventually found out that it would hurt your feelings. Kind of stupid for an adult to be that way about cake! I do think, though, that they wouldn't want to hurt your niece's feelings so were trying to do the right thing.

My dd also has multiple food allergies and, like gfgypsy's dd, wears a medic-alert bracelet. We have to be on alert constantly. For the most part, she adapts and accepts that she eats things that are a bit different. I try my best to make or get things that she likes. Sometimes, though, she (and I) do get sad and lament that she can't eat what the other kids are eating. But we get off that pity party quickly. We also say that God has given her these allergies for a reason. I know that one reason is so that I would get on the ball and learn more about what is actually in our food, read labels, learn and feed my family healthier.

We also stress to her that "everyone" is different. Noone looks the same, acts the same, etc. Some people have some foods that make them sick to eat, others have asthma. Some are in wheelchairs etc.

natalie Apprentice
Hi... I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I agree with what everyone else has said. I would be really hurt if I were in your shoes and feel the same way. The way that your family handled that was wrong. They had to know that when you eventually found out that it would hurt your feelings. Kind of stupid for an adult to be that way about cake! I do think, though, that they wouldn't want to hurt your niece's feelings so were trying to do the right thing.

My dd also has multiple food allergies and, like gfgypsy's dd, wears a medic-alert bracelet. We have to be on alert constantly. For the most part, she adapts and accepts that she eats things that are a bit different. I try my best to make or get things that she likes. Sometimes, though, she (and I) do get sad and lament that she can't eat what the other kids are eating. But we get off that pity party quickly. We also say that God has given her these allergies for a reason. I know that one reason is so that I would get on the ball and learn more about what is actually in our food, read labels, learn and feed my family healthier.

We also stress to her that "everyone" is different. Noone looks the same, acts the same, etc. Some people have some foods that make them sick to eat, others have asthma. Some are in wheelchairs etc.

Thanks for letting me know how you handle the allergies. I like the idea of "everyone is different". Thanks for that. It is hard to know what to do and say sometimes.

natalie Apprentice
Maybe you could find a decorator that would be willing to come to your home and decorate your cake? I know several people that do cakes as a side job/ hobby that would be willing to do such a service. Just an idea ;)

As far as Birthday cakes go Cheesecake is the standard at our house. I make a brownie crust (converting the Hershey's recipe) it is beautiful and delicious, a real crowd pleaser. Not dairy free though :(

Natalie,

I think I would have been a little upset about the way your family rushed off too. It would have been more considerate of them to stay and enjoy the family time and then gotten together for the cake later in the evening. Hopefully the next family event ends on a better note.

mmmmm... cheesecake with a brownie crust, now I'm drooling :P

Ridgewalker Contributor
Sorry, if this is a grown-up person I respectfully disagree. Umm, I think he should go on ahead and grow up. There are times as an adult when you don't get a big party let alone a cake. So, when you offered to host this lovely meal with all his personal favorites did he say, "No, I think I'd rather have a cake from Kroger." I bet that he didn't. If your mil is in on this I would find her equally culpable. The whole deal seems mean spirited especially considering you were dealing with not one but two children's food issues. And to jump up and leave to go eat it? Aww, is not the same if he couldn't eat on his "real" birthday? Boo-hoo! That sounds like something my six year would say. (Who, by the way, has celebrated his b-day on other days twice in his life without complaint!)

Just my two cents! :rolleyes:

:lol: I laughed when I read this, but I completely agree. A grown-up that pouts and complains over cake needs to re-evaluate thier priorities.

Natalie, I think it was super nice and considerate of you to make a special dinner for your cousin, and host this party. I know they are your family and your love them, but sneaking around and RUSHING off to eat something else was rude and inconsiderate, and you have every right to be upset about it.

-Sarah

JennyC Enthusiast
Here is the link for Wilton shaped pans, scroll down and you will find "Lightning McQueen from Cars Cake Pan"

Open Original Shared Link

I have made tons of cakes with these pans. They give you all of the instructions of how to mix the icing and colours and how to decorate step by step. I have had no prefessional courses and I have made great cakes. The pan and icing tips will cost a bit...but it is worth it when you see your child's face. Plus, once you have bought the tips they are reusable.

Natalie

Thank you for the link! I hope that the instructions are E A S Y T O F O L L O W! :lol: I bought tips because I was going to try to make his cake last year, but I backed out last minute. Maybe I will start practicing now. I will definitely order one of those pans. I will do one of those cakes plus cupcakes since I tend to invite the entire state to his parties!

taweavmo3 Enthusiast

I think the way they acted was ridiculous........you went out of your way to do something nice, and that should have been plenty! Geez, in my family, I'm just happy if someone remembers my birthday!

natalie Apprentice
Thank you for the link! I hope that the instructions are E A S Y T O F O L L O W! :lol: I bought tips because I was going to try to make his cake last year, but I backed out last minute. Maybe I will start practicing now. I will definitely order one of those pans. I will do one of those cakes plus cupcakes since I tend to invite the entire state to his parties!

It is easy to follow. I would practice using the tips and mixing icing if you get a chance. Spray the pan really well so the cake doesn't stick.

natalie Apprentice
I think the way they acted was ridiculous........you went out of your way to do something nice, and that should have been plenty! Geez, in my family, I'm just happy if someone remembers my birthday!

I'm happy if someone remembers mine as well!!

janelyb Enthusiast

I am pretty sure I would have felt as upset as you were if that happened with my family. Currently two of us are gluten and dairy free my son and me. Most of the time I pass on cake at parties but I make sure I bring a cupcake and sorbet for my son. At one of our parties (my birthday last month) I did make a gluten free/ casein free cake and it was a huge hit everyone loved it.

It was lemon cake with vanilla (store bought) frosting

Open Original Shared Link

The whole foods by my carrys it, if not you can order it online and it is so good!

I've also had this same cake made with fruit on top and it was yummy too.

Now last month my daughter who is not yet totally gluten free wanted a regular cake. So I ordered a special made cake and then made a gluten/casein free one and guess which one everyone wanted? My small cake I made for just my son and I....

Talk with your MIL or cousin and tell her how this made you feel. I do think that it was pretty rude of them to do that. How are they dealing with your neice's special diet? Is her family being excluded from things too. I do hope your family can work things out.

My son son is only 3 and constantly asks why can't I have that but he has so far excepted my response oh it has wheat in it and remember wheat makes you feel very sick. And then I immediately offer him something he can have.

natalie Apprentice
I am pretty sure I would have felt as upset as you were if that happened with my family. Currently two of us are gluten and dairy free my son and me. Most of the time I pass on cake at parties but I make sure I bring a cupcake and sorbet for my son. At one of our parties (my birthday last month) I did make a gluten free/ casein free cake and it was a huge hit everyone loved it.

It was lemon cake with vanilla (store bought) frosting

Open Original Shared Link

The whole foods by my carrys it, if not you can order it online and it is so good!

I've also had this same cake made with fruit on top and it was yummy too.

Now last month my daughter who is not yet totally gluten free wanted a regular cake. So I ordered a special made cake and then made a gluten/casein free one and guess which one everyone wanted? My small cake I made for just my son and I....

Talk with your MIL or cousin and tell her how this made you feel. I do think that it was pretty rude of them to do that. How are they dealing with your neice's special diet? Is her family being excluded from things too. I do hope your family can work things out.

My son son is only 3 and constantly asks why can't I have that but he has so far excepted my response oh it has wheat in it and remember wheat makes you feel very sick. And then I immediately offer him something he can have.

That cake sounds great. I hope the Whole Foods in Canada sells it.

Regarding my niece, my SIL is only half way with her allergy. Whenever she is in a tough situation she gives in and lets her have milk, or ice cream etc. Last year my niece was gluten free, now she is not <_< . My daughter finds this confusing.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      130,286
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    TDGRINSTEAD
    Newest Member
    TDGRINSTEAD
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.3k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Dora77
      Sorry for the long post. I’m 18, and I was diagnosed with celiac disease and type 1 diabetes (T1D). My transglutaminase IgA was >128 U/mL, EMA IgA positive twice, and I’m HLA-DQ2 and DQ8 positive. I’ve been completely asymptomatic since diagnosis, even when I cheated with gluten sometimes in the past and used to eat out(2-5 years ago) I don’t get the typical celiac reactions, which makes it really hard to know when (or if) I’ve been glutened. But for the past year, I’ve been the most strict with my diet, and that’s also when a bunch of new issues started. I eat completely glutenfree, never eat out, dont eat food that says „may contain gluten“.   Current Health Problems • Floating, undigested stools for over a year now. Dont think its related to celiac as it was like this since im 17 and not 13-16( i got diagnosed at 13). • Chronic back pain started gradually, worsens with movement, lots of cracking/popping sounds. Been ongoing for a year now. First noticed in the gym. • Abdominal bulge on the right side, not painful but seems to be getting slightly bigger. Doctor didn’t find a hernia on ultrasound, but it was done lying down (I’ve read those can miss hernias). Noticed it like 6 months ago, couldve been there longer. • extremely dry and mildly swollen hands (this started before I started excessive hand-washing), and bloated face. • Signs of inattentive ADHD (noticed over the past 3 years), now combined with severe OCD focused on contamination and cross-contact. • Growth/puberty seemed to started after going gluten-free. Before that I was not developing. Dont know if any of these are because of celiac as my dad doesnt have those and he is a lot less strict gluten-free then me. I also had pancreatic elastase tested four times: values were 46 (very low), 236, 158, and 306 (normal). Gastroenterologist said one normal value is enough and I don’t have EPI. Family doctor prescribed Kreon anyway (after I pushed for it), and I just started taking 1 capsule (10,000 units) with meals 2 days ago, but couldn‘t see effects yet because I’ve been constipated the last few days. Maybe because of thyroid. I don’t have Hashimoto’s. No thyroid antibodies. But I took levothyroxine for slightly low FT4 levels. My thyroid levels fluctuated between borderline low and low-normal. And recently lowered my dose so that may have caused the constipating. I probably didn’t need it in the first place, and am thinking about stopping it soon.   Current Diet Right now, I only eat a very limited set of “safe” foods I prepare myself: • Gluten-free bread with tuna or cheese • Milk and cornflakes • gluten-free cookies/snacks • Bananas (the only fruit I trust right now) I rarely eat other fruits or vegetables, because I’m scared of contamination. My dad, who also has celiac but doesn’t care about CC, buys fruits, and he might’ve picked them up right after handling gluten bread. That makes me feel unsafe eating them. Even fruit at stores or markets feels risky because so many people with gluten on their hands touch them.   My Home Situation (Shared Kitchen) We’re a family of 5. Only my dad and I have celiac. He eats glutenfree but doesn’t care about CC and sometimes (but rarely) cheats. My mom and siblings eat gluten bread at every meal. My mom is honest (so if i ask her to be cautious, she most likely would try to), but doesn’t seem to understand how serious celiac is. She: • Stopped using gluten flour • only cooks gluten-free meals (but they still heat up gluten bread and also cook gluten noodles) • Keeps separate butter/jam/jars for me • Bought me a stainless steel pan Bu we didn’t replace old wooden utensils, cutting boards, or other pans. The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
    • lmemsm
      I've seen a lot of recipes for chia pudding, so I decided to make some with chia, water, cocoa and honey.  Didn't like the taste, so I added ground sunflower and ground pumpkin seed to it.  It tasted okay, but came out more like frosting that pudding.  I used to make pudding with tapioca starch, milk powder, water and sugar.  It came out very good but I haven't figured out what to use to replace the milk powder to make it dairy free.  Most starches will work in place of tapioca starch but quantity varies depending on the type of starch.  If I didn't add enough starch to get a pudding consistency, I'd add gelatin as well to fix it.  Avocado and cocoa makes a good dessert with a pudding like consistency.  Unfortunately, I have a bad reaction to avocados.
    • lmemsm
      Seems like when I find a gluten free product I like, the producer stops manufacturing it and then I have trouble finding a new gluten free source for it.  What's worse, I've been contacting companies to ask if their products are gluten free and they don't even bother to respond.  So, it's making it very hard to find safe replacements.  I was buying teff flour at nuts.com and they no longer carry it.  I noticed Naturevibe has teff and soy flour.  However, I can't get a response as to whether their flours are safe for someone with celiac.  Can't get a response from Aldi if their peas are safe for someone with celiac either.  I know Bob's Red Mill has teff flour but was hoping to get a large quantity.  I've been using up the 20 ounce Bob's Red Mill teff flour too quickly.  Does anyone know of a good source for teff or soy flour?  Any recommendations where to get gluten free beans, peas or lentils?  I found some packages of gluten free beans at Sprouts but not much variety.  I've also been looking for lentil elbow macaroni and it seems like no one is making that now that Tolerant was bought out.  Any suggestions for safe sources for these types of ingredients.  Thanks.
    • chrish42
      All I can say is this site is great!
×
×
  • Create New...