Angry, Sad, Mad, Downright Emotional - Need To Vent

[radgirl]

I am not sure if other deal with this or if it even bothers you, but today I felt the worst sense of anger and rage due to the gluten and not being able to eat whatever I want. Yes, I understand we have our own food, but I feel like I live in this special little world with my own special food, special this, and special that. I felt this horrifying sense of anger come over me because those around me can eat "normally". Health-wise, I've never been normal (sense birth), but right now, it is really getting to me. They were showing all sorts of donuts on the t.v. and I almost changed the channel because I was so frustrated and angry. Is this a normal response/reaction. I feel so singled out right now and as if no one in the world understand and I have to explain myself a million times.

[Nancym]

Every person in the world who is overweight, diabetic, or has some sort of allergy has to deal with this. You're definitely not alone.

[Lisa]

I totally understand as I am sure most of us can. I remember walking down the grocery isles and feeling so angry! And I agree, I HATE FOOD COMMERCIALS. Olive Garden, Red Lobster and Pizza Hut are the worst for me.

May of us go through a mourning stage and it is very natural. Once you get the hang of the diet and can read labels well your frustration will subside. It does get better.

[radgirl]

  Nancym said:

Every person in the world who is overweight, diabetic, or has some sort of allergy has to deal with this. You're definitely not alone.

I feel so alone. I don't really relate this to being overweight and/or certain instances of diabetes because many of these folks can eat "some" of their favorite foods (in moderation). For us, at least for me, I will NEVER be able to eat these foods again. It's almost like mourning the loss of something very special. Yes, to many, it is just food, but for me, it is something that has come to define my life in a very significant way. Although most of it comes 2nd nature now, it is still something that haunts me. I'm sad and angry and feel very alone.

[Queen Serenity]

Radgirl,

I'm sorry that your so hurt and angry right now. I agree with you 100% that it is difficult to watch others indulge in the best of foods. But, I agree with Nancym. There are a lot of people who are restricted with diet. I miss a lot of things, and I have been living this way for almost 12 years. I promise it will get easier with time. My entire househhold can eat anything, and I'm the only one who is gluten free. So, please don't despair! If you follow the trails on this website alone, you will find that many company's produce foods today that are very similar to what you remember as oh so good! I hope you feel better soon!

Vicki

[radgirl]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I'm trying to hang in there, but some days are harder than others and today is one of those days. I do appreciate what everyone has said. I do hope it gets easier. At best, I hope the anger and frustration go away so I can be at peace.

[Guest Doll]

  radgirl said:

I feel so alone. I don't really relate this to being overweight and/or certain instances of diabetes because many of these folks can eat "some" of their favorite foods (in moderation). For us, at least for me, I will NEVER be able to eat these foods again. It's almost like mourning the loss of something very special. Yes, to many, it is just food, but for me, it is something that has come to define my life in a very significant way. Although most of it comes 2nd nature now, it is still something that haunts me. I'm sad and angry and feel very alone.

Know how you feel! You are not alone. I think those who develop Celiac as an adult (or are diagnosed as an adult) have the roughest time. You have to follow the same strict diet as some one with a life-threatning allergy (no cheating...EVER), but you have had these foods most of your life and know what they tatse like.

I'm not trying to discount those diagnosed as children though...but hopefully you see my point. For example, while diabetes is no fun and is a serious disease, I also have *never* recalled a time where I didn't need daily injections before a meal. It's just second nature to me. People diagnosed as adults seem to struggle more in this area.

[aikiducky]

Maybe it helps to know that your reaction is normal? There are different stages to adjusting to a big life change - denial, anger, sadness and acceptance are the ones I remember going through. You'll get to where the diet is just a part of your life, but you need to go through all the stages of getting there first, and it can be tough.

Here's a pretty nice explanation:

Open Original Shared Link

Hope this helps!

Pauliina

[luckygfme]

I know how you feel. Food didn't bother me so much before, and i have understanding friends, but lately i've been so sick from all food i literally can eat nothing but rice, potatoes fish and meat and the site of people eating anything else, particularly cakes or sweets makes me want to claw their eyes out

[Lisa]

After a while you learn to adapt. I have plenty of gluten free sweets when I choose. I cook better than I did. And the reward is better health. Restaurants are getting easier because of the continued awareness.

Dinner invitations have dwingled. But then, those who don't want to inquire about my diet or ask a few questions, it may not be the place I would like to go - for friendship or food.

YES, it is a lifestyle change. YES, it sucks at times. YES, it's a pain in the butt, as well as some people. But it's an important aspect of my life. I will not spend the future years sick. I have too much to do.

[radgirl]

  luckygfme said:

I know how you feel. Food didn't bother me so much before, and i have understanding friends, but lately i've been so sick from all food i literally can eat nothing but rice, potatoes fish and meat and the site of people eating anything else, particularly cakes or sweets makes me want to claw their eyes out

Yes, that is exactly it. I get angry with people who are eating and I want to beat them to a pulp. Sorry, don't mean to sound aggressive and nasty, but it's a terrible feeling to have. I watch people eat with just love, gusto, and enjoyment and then I look at my "weirdo" food and wonder what happened to my stomach of steel!

[Teacher1958]

  radgirl said:

I feel so alone. I don't really relate this to being overweight and/or certain instances of diabetes because many of these folks can eat "some" of their favorite foods (in moderation). For us, at least for me, I will NEVER be able to eat these foods again. It's almost like mourning the loss of something very special. Yes, to many, it is just food, but for me, it is something that has come to define my life in a very significant way. Although most of it comes 2nd nature now, it is still something that haunts me. I'm sad and angry and feel very alone.

It can be a very isolating diet at times. I really miss my favorite foods and favorite restaurants. Getting a salad at a restaurant where I used to order a calzone or a gourmet veggie burger or spaghetti just doesn't quite do it for me. I try not to dwell on it, but I agree with you, the fact that I can never eat these foods again sometimes makes me very sad. I do okay most of the time, but at other times the reality of it just kind of kicks me in the gut. Even when I was on the low cholesterol diet, I was allowed to treat myself once a month.

On the other hand, I feel better than I've ever felt, and I am grateful for that. My ADD symptoms and spaceyness have lessened considerably, I'm not doubled over in pain from what I've eaten, the mouth sores are gone, the fibromyalgia symptoms are nearly gone, my shortness of breath has lessened, the fatigue has diminished, etc. If I look at the benefits, my mood does start to lift, and I know that there are worse things than this.

[Lillian]

Hang in there! I totally agree with you about everything. I teach and in the summers I WAS always used to meeting tons of friends for lunch. But this summer, I've been going to the health club and swimming and getting in shape because this diet has caused me to gain weight. Yah, like I'm really happy that I'm now 'absorbing nutrients' and I'm 'healthy.' I am glad about all that, don't get me wrong, but the weight- Ihate it! I often wish that there was just a pill we could take to get better. This is harder-MUCH harder. But it has caused me to learn self discipline and if you think about it, we do eat so much healthier than before. I NEVER cheat. What for? I know that I will always get some unwanted glutens in me through cross contamination or accidentally. And believe me, I have- and I spent the next morning in the toilet. So now I meet friends for shopping, movies and sometimes lunch or dinner. We do go out- couples- Fridays, Saturdays. And yes, it is a daily thinking activity as far as what I put in my mouth. But then again, aren't you glad that there is a 'cure' for us. Imagine the alternative. There are people in the world going through so much worse. Whenever you are down on yourself, try to have some hobbies, friends, puzzles, other things to turn to and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Appreciate the fact that you are doing so much better and it's all because of YOU!

You go girl! Lillian

[lfij]

  Momma Goose said:

After a while you learn to adapt. I have plenty of gluten free sweets when I choose. I cook better than I did. And the reward is better health. Restaurants are getting easier because of the continued awareness.

Dinner invitations have dwingled. But then, those who don't want to inquire about my diet or ask a few questions, it may not be the place I would like to go - for friendship or food.

YES, it is a lifestyle change. YES, it sucks at times. YES, it's a pain in the butt, as well as some people. But it's an important aspect of my life. I will not spend the future years sick. I have too much to do.

just wanted to say i liked your post. it's nice to hear/see someone say that this sucks and is a big pain in the butt, instead of people saying "oh it's just bread" lol. so, thanks! =D

[bellabrit7]

radgirl-THANK YOU FOR THIS POST! seriously, I have only been recently diagnosed (2.5 months now) and I do not know how long you have been dealing with this, but I completely and totally understand how you are feeling right now. As well, I have only recently joined this site, so I am not sure how it really works here. I do feel its very hard to go from not having to think about what I am putting into my mouth to all of a sudden having to read the ingredients on every single thing and 90% having to put it back on the shelf or say no when something is offered to me. I believe it will take a while until it is just a daily part of life, but as of right now it is making me mental!! haha I go crazy when the people around me get to have whatever they want and then they look at me and say "oh sorry, we shouldn't rub it in your face, we totally forgot". and all i wanna do is walk away or punch them, even though I know they aren't being mean, but it is just frustrating. Plus I babysit, so having to feed kids and look at all the yummy things has been getting me!

I also understand that there are other diseases that people deal with that cause them as much pain or more than gluten does to us, and I am sure they have/had a terrible time coping. And please, if anyone has another thing as well as gluten, let us in on how you cope!! I don't want to put anyone down or make them feel bad, but when someone disregards our frustration by saying other people have to make life changes, that doesn't make me feel any better.

radgirl, we can do this! yes, it is hard and yes, it sucks like NONE OTHER when trying to go out with friends or family. I hope that there are people there that are supporting you!! If you need someone to talk to or vent to on a daily basis or a weekly basis or whenever, you are more than welcome to email me and just vent! we can figure out ways to make us not go so mental about food we can no longer have (talking things out seems to be a great way to diminish the frustration). I am sure you feel healthier and just plain better with this diet, and I have been trying to look at it from that aspect (but seriously, a cookie does sound good every now and then). Lets keep it up and if you need support, I am here to listen!!

[itsgareth]

Sorry to hear your feeling so low radgirl.

At the end of the day it's just food. Try and concentrate on the things that really matter in life, i.e. family, friends and being happy. That's the only thing that gets me through this diet. Stay positive

[debmidge]

Radgirl

This response is from my husband who has celiac. I read your first post to him and he is replying (I do it as he hates computers)...

"I feel like an alien in that I can't eat what others eat. Not only is gluten off limits but I can't eat fruits and vegetables and spices/pepper nor eggs nor nuts nor soy. It's frustrating wanting to eat more stuff and it drives me crazy when I see stuff I used to eat and can no longer. I've been gluten-free now for 3.5 years and I am still mourning the loss of food. I think how you mourn it differs from person to person. Those that never had a love-affair with food can shrug it off better than those (like me) who used to eat it up."

He's probably going to add more to this but he's got to think about it.

[angel42]

I really sympathize with you. I went through this exact thing earlier in the week. I work in Manhattan and its restaurant week. A bunch of my coworkers are going out to this one restaurant where there is absolutely nothing I can eat. They asked me to go and (politely) I said I would really like to go but unfortunately there is really nothing on the menu that I could safely eat. So one of my "friends" at work rolls her eyes and calls me a pain. As if I enjoy being left out of everything all the time. This really set me off and I just got really angry at the whole gluten-eating world. I am fully aware that I am much healthier, do not have a permanent stomach ache or perpetual brain fog but I can't help feeling sad sometimes.

We all need to vent at some point. That's why it's nice to have this site where people actually understand how you feel even if the people in your life don't. Any time you need to vent we are here.

[radgirl]

  angel42 said:

I really sympathize with you. I went through this exact thing earlier in the week. I work in Manhattan and its restaurant week. A bunch of my coworkers are going out to this one restaurant where there is absolutely nothing I can eat. They asked me to go and (politely) I said I would really like to go but unfortunately there is really nothing on the menu that I could safely eat. So one of my "friends" at work rolls her eyes and calls me a pain. As if I enjoy being left out of everything all the time. This really set me off and I just got really angry at the whole gluten-eating world. I am fully aware that I am much healthier, do not have a permanent stomach ache or perpetual brain fog but I can't help feeling sad sometimes.

We all need to vent at some point. That's why it's nice to have this site where people actually understand how you feel even if the people in your life don't. Any time you need to vent we are here.

Your co-worker actually had the nerve to call you a pain. I'm sorry, but that type of stuff infuriates me to no end. No, we enjoy being difficult and being left out. It's strictly for our enjoyment and other's displeasure. The nerve of some people. I'm glad you said you couldn't go. If they have nothing for you to eat, then tough. Health is #1 priority now and always. Keep on keepin' on!

[radgirl]

  debmidge said:

Radgirl

This response is from my husband who has celiac. I read your first post to him and he is replying (I do it as he hates computers)...

"I feel like an alien in that I can't eat what others eat. Not only is gluten off limits but I can't eat fruits and vegetables and spices/pepper nor eggs nor nuts nor soy. It's frustrating wanting to eat more stuff and it drives me crazy when I see stuff I used to eat and can no longer. I've been gluten-free now for 3.5 years and I am still mourning the loss of food. I think how you mourn it differs from person to person. Those that never had a love-affair with food can shrug it off better than those (like me) who used to eat it up."

He's probably going to add more to this but he's got to think about it.

Thank you. It's comforting knowing that other's feel how I do. As it is, I have huge issues with food in regards to disordered eating. This just complicates matters even more.

[whitball]

feel free to vent all you want! I've been gluten-free since Feb 2006 and I have yelled, cried, over ate, drank myself silly, etc to cope with this problem. When I wake up in the morning, I have the same problem, just a different day. I do know that I am still struggling and go through stages of anger. I think I may be a bit slower than most at being at coming to grips with this disease. What I can say, is that I am stronger. I can now ride my bike twenty-five miles in a day. Muscle pain is still there, but I am not bed-ridden for a week afterwards like before. There is hope, hang in there and don't be afraid to use this site as a way to get you through some of the tough days.

[debmidge]

Response from my husband

Radgirl:

I feel empathy and sympathy fo ryou and the emotions you are dealing with...."angry-sad-mad-downright emotional" and I certainly understand your "need to vent."

This illness ambushed me when I was a 27 year old *very healthy* individual. I am now 57. Three decades of being chronically ill has been a life-altering nightmare.

Yes, I also feel like I am in my own little world with my own special food, special this & special that. I feel like an alien from another planet & sometimes it's hard to mix in with the human beings from Earth because no one truly seems to understand the full extend of what you are living with.

Just recently my wife's good friend turned fifty years old. Her children had a surprise catered birthday party for her at her home. Plenty of good food! But not for the alien. I brought my own piece of chicken, my own bread and a potato to bake in her microwave and even my own butter.

Yes! it is very, very frustrating Radgirl...but you are certainly not alone.

Mike

[kevsmom]

Radgirl,

I know exactly how you feel. I think we have all gone through it. I remember, right after I was diagnosed, sitting in an italian restaurant and ordering a large salad. I had the owner come over to my table with the giant industrial size jar of salad dressing so that I could read the ingredients. After my order was placed I actually sat at the table and started weeping because the pizza smelled so good - and I wanted it!

I had to learn to be strong...or be sick, and it isn't worth it. There is more to life than food.

Cindy

[7-cody]

  Queen Serenity said:

Radgirl,

I'm sorry that your so hurt and angry right now. I agree with you 100% that it is difficult to watch others indulge in the best of foods. But, I agree with Nancym. There are a lot of people who are restricted with diet. I miss a lot of things, and I have been living this way for almost 12 years. I promise it will get easier with time. My entire househhold can eat anything, and I'm the only one who is gluten free. So, please don't despair! If you follow the trails on this website alone, you will find that many company's produce foods today that are very similar to what you remember as oh so good! I hope you feel better soon!

Vicki

Hey, if you don't mind, you said you've been glutened-free for 12 years now?! Wow!

I was wondering if you could tell me your story, like how you found out you were Celiac (12 years ago!) how you felt then and how much you've recovered, and finally how you feel now? Do you feel normal? Because I sure as heck don't!

Sorry to change the topic, btw.