Don't Know What To Say Anymore Now That I Am Gluten/dairy And Soy Free

[Sarah8793]

When I was just gluten and dairy free, it seemed easier to pass with a polite, no thank you I can't have it because of gluten etc. But now, I can't eat ANYTHING other people offer (except maybe fruits and vegetables). The thought of saying no I can't have it because I can't have anything with gluten, dairy, or soy in it, makes me feel weird. It is like the more things you can't have, the more strange you appear to others. So what do those of you that have 3 or more intolerances, say to others when you can't eat with them? If I just state one of my intolerances, then they might find something else for me to eat with a different intolerance. So then it all ends up coming out anyway. I have just been feeling a little down since adding soy to my list.

[Mom23boys]

Thank you X sounds nice but I have multiple food allergies and cannot try it.

[Jestgar]

I also do the "Thank you, but I have multiple food allergies."

[Takala]

Most of the time no explanation is necessary if it's said with the right cheery attitude.

"No, thanks, I just ate, but thanks for offering" is sufficient.

If people persist, just tell them you're not hungry or better yet offer them something you have that you can eat. You are't wierd, there are a huge number of people in the world who don't eat something because of how it makes them feel. Most of the time in a casual encounter no big wikipedia explanation is necessary.

[Phyllis28]

I simply say "No thank you" assuming this is a casual social contact.

I only go into a more detailed explantion when the person is persistant, usually after they are still pushing after the third "No thank you". I very briefly explain that I will get sick if I eat anything with wheat, oats, rye or barley, for you add dairy and soy or you could say multiple food intolerances. If they are still pushing at this point I tell them a white lie about not wanting to go to the hospital.

[Sarah8793]

Thank you to all of you for your ideas.

Multiple food intolerances was the vocabulary I needed. I think I will try saying "no thank you," or I just ate, as takala mentions and then if pushed I will use the pharse about multiple food intolerances. Thanks takala also for reminding me that I'm not alone with this. I just never meet anyone (besides this forum) who has the same problems I do. It is easy to begin to feel like I am unique.

[hathor]

I tell people I have multiple allergies if they notice. Folks rarely understand what an intolerance is, but "allergy" gets their attention. They don't need the details, unless they ask. I have been known to make a joke out of it like, "Yes, I'm allergic to food, so that does limit me a bit."

Sometimes folks don't notice and I just say, "No thanks."

If I can talk to someone in advance, I will mention the fact that I have these allergies and asking what will be served. I make it clear I don't expect to be individually catered to; I'm just trying to see if there will be something I can eat or whether I should eat first or bring my own food.

You will get used to it over time. I'm feeling so philosophical today since it is my one year gluten-free anniversary. Well, gluten-free except for the times I messed up or others glutened me.

The thing that still gets me is that people don't know what is in food. They don't know that white bread or regular pasta is made from wheat, confine "dairy" to milk, and think of soy as just tofu or soy sauce. They don't know egg (another problem for me) is in mayonnaise. Frequently, these include people who work in restaurants! I just try to save the experiences as amusing anecdotes, not something that should make me feel strange.

I can't beat the story I heard on another board. A certain young woman, bright enough because she was in grad school, honestly thought that flour was made from ... flowers.

[Ginsou]

I too, am lactose/casein/gluten/soy intolerant. No one really knows what it means, unless they also have the same problems. I simply say I have multiple food allergies. When they ask what I am allergic to, I say about 90% of food....which is true!! If they want more details, then I tell them and their reaction is a blank look. I laugh and say, other than being allergic to everything, I'm perfectly healthy!

I never eat any food item someone else has prepared. A friend of mine made spaghetti sauce for me many years ago when my only health problem was lactose intolerance. I got sick, and questioned him about the ingredients. He said "oh, there's no milk in it....I threw in a couple slices of cheese that were in the fridge". I'm sure to this day he still thinks I'm a nut case.

[Mom23boys]

I got sick, and questioned him about the ingredients. He said "oh, there's no milk in it....I threw in a couple slices of cheese that were in the fridge". I'm sure to this day he still thinks I'm a nut case.

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard a line like that. I now ask "and what is cheese made from???"...thinking..."OH!!!"

[kbtoyssni]

I've only got gluten and peanut restrictions, but I still say "oh, I have a ton of food allergies". With strangers or casual acquaintances I don't go into details unless they ask.

[Gwen B]

Thank you to all of you for your ideas.

Multiple food intolerances was the vocabulary I needed. I think I will try saying "no thank you," or I just ate, as takala mentions and then if pushed I will use the pharse about multiple food intolerances. Thanks takala also for reminding me that I'm not alone with this. I just never meet anyone (besides this forum) who has the same problems I do. It is easy to begin to feel like I am unique.

I also like to appease the host, who probably would like to feel that they want to look after you by providing you with something as a only a good host does. I also avoid going into detail, saying that I am a little food challenged. I try to steer them onto the posative aspect of the guest/host relationship by requesting something I can have, like friut, plain salad, glass of water/wine/tea. That way, hopefully both our roles are fulfilled and we can ge on with enjoying the party!

[mftnchn]

Thanks for asking this. In a couple of days, I am going back home to the USA for 2.5 months from where I live overseas. Here I can't eat out, but my social obligations are more minimal. When I get to the USA I am thrust into a lot of social situations and obligations, it is going to be awkward I am afraid.

I appreciated people's input. I am also GFCFSF.