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Celiac And Dating/relationships

jasonD2

By jasonD2
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

NicoleAJ Enthusiast
NicoleAJ
Posted
I'm more worried about the second week when we are in paris

Definitely go to Le Reminet in Paris--it's a restaurant right near Notre Dame, and the owners are a husband and wife team. The wife takes the orders and she has celiac. The husband is a chef and knows how carefully he needs to be about good sans gluten! I ate there three times and never got sick once. I usually don't eat at restaurants in the US, so this was a huge deal. P.S. The restaurant is expensive, but totally worth it!

As far as dating, I agree with Elonwy--do more unconventional dates. When I started dating while gluten-free, I did activity-oriented dates like going for a walk in a park, going for on a hike, going bowling. You could even try doing a rock climbing wall, miniature golf, billiards, etc. Then if the person suggests going out to eat afterwards, you can either broach the topic after you've already made a great first impression, or you can say that you had a fabulous time and would love to do it again but you have to get home and just leave the celiac confession for the next date.

Once things progress, you can prepare a picnic or invite the date over for a home-cooked meal, and the person will see that there are plenty of tasty options for people who don't eat gluten.

It takes other people a long time to understand what you can and can't eat and the subtleties of cross contamination, so you have to be patient with them.

When I first started to date my husband, he was only allowed to cook for me at my place on my pans and dishes, and I had to clear all of the ingredients first. He started with basics like crab legs, rice, and steamed artichokes with butter. Now he knows my diet as well as I do, and he's committed to keeping all forms of gluten out of the house so that there are no potential issues. If his Mom shows up for a visit with a package of Wheat Thins, he just throws them out and tells her to respect my diet. The right partner will act that way.

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Asillem4 Newbie
Asillem4
Posted
My husband was totally smitten with me whilst dating. I had no doubt that if I had showed up at the restaurant with my own little cooler of food, that I would still be married to him. And he confirmed this.

I've gone off gluten and felt better then on again for a blood test, then off to feel better and now back on for another blood test. My husband is already fed up with me being gluten-free and it's only been a couple of weeks. I don't know how the rest of the month / year is going to go! I know he'll man-up eventually but sometimes he seems really mad that I can't just EAT something without reading the entire label or asking how it was prepared, what is in it, etc.

I recently took my own food to a benefit BBQ and was fine (not embarrassed) but I seem to have been glutoned somehow...maybe by kissing a friend on the lips who was drinking a beer? Is that possible from a little peck of a kiss?

Travel in Africa will be interesting this summer! Mystery ingredients and primitive toilet facilities (if any) where I'll be.

pixiegirl Enthusiast
pixiegirl
Posted

I travel, I eat out, I date.

My BF is gluten-free when we are together so that helps tremendously (when he's out with the guys he'll eat pizza and such). It was not an issue for him at all. I don't say Celiac disease right off either because of that disease word. I did once and the guy did recoil and when I told him as long as I don't eat gluten I'm perfectly fine and he told me no "disease" can be that easy. So without any doubt that word scares people.

I now say I have eating issues and take it from there. I have never had anyone say they were not interested in me due to Celiac (other reasons sure! but not my food issues).

I don't have any problems in restaurants telling them how I need my food prepared to be safe for me, I'm not easily intimidated. But I did mention this once before in another thread.... a lot of new celiac's seem to be very embarrassed to talk to the server and/or chef about their food requirements but just so you know your not the only one.... my daughter works in a restaurant on weekends and she has told me at least 75% of the orders she takes the customer asks for something done differently. My daughter said some people mention its a health issue and some don't. And she said, she (as a waitress) and the chef are fine with it, no one cares one way or the other... special orders are becoming the norm. No gluten, no sugar, no nightshades, no dairy... she said no one even bats an eye at special orders other then they just want to get it right for the customer. So when you go in with your no gluten request you can rest assured that they have had a zillion other special requests and most places are fine with them.

Since I have no problem talking to restaurants, eating out while I travel (which is frequent, both for business and fun) is no problem.

For me the largest problem and the only place I've been gluten at for ages is friends homes, regardless how careful they are... I think the problem arrises from their utensils, pots and pans, etc. So I avoid that most of the time and instead I invite them over here a lot!

Susan

Alz Rookie
Alz
Posted

I met my husband before I was diagnosed with celiac. Although that might have been easier he did have to deal with me ending up in hospital and going through the diagnosis and being very much in denial. He is the one who makes sure I don't eat the wrong things and I don't know how I would cope without him!

The hardest part for me is university and being in a foreign country. Since coming over to the USA from the UK I have found eating gluten free a lot harder. The university gave free pizza at orientation, then sent out free pizza to international students during study week (and the worst thing is pizza was my fav food so I was really upset) and I can't eat in any of the food places around campus (they are all burger and fast food so I don't even bother looking) which means two things for me 1) I go hungry most of the day until I get home 2) I appear to be very unsociable. I never eat out and spend most my life in the house like a hermit! I hate being fussy and drawing attention to myself as it is so I can't even get the courage to ask at the food places around.

I wouldnt be worried about not marrying and passing it on to children because the right person would be supportive over the "disease" and secondly you might well pass it onto children but then again they could end up having other allergy's which aren't passed on by you.

Asillem4 Newbie
Asillem4
Posted
Since coming over to the USA from the UK I have found eating gluten free a lot harder.

Alz, before I knew what was wrong with me, I had already given up eating out because I had figured out when ever I did, I spent a night in pain (I always ate the bread and crackers before my meal!!!). When I worked at the university I took a banana, yogurt, chips to work with me and went to the cafeteria for a soda or milk. You could do the same and still be socialable, enjoy a healthy lunch, and not worry about anything! *hug* best of luck to you.

Blessings, Mellisa

Alz Rookie
Alz
Posted
Alz, before I knew what was wrong with me, I had already given up eating out because I had figured out when ever I did, I spent a night in pain (I always ate the bread and crackers before my meal!!!). When I worked at the university I took a banana, yogurt, chips to work with me and went to the cafeteria for a soda or milk. You could do the same and still be socialable, enjoy a healthy lunch, and not worry about anything! *hug* best of luck to you.

Blessings, Mellisa

I would love to be able to do that but I've kind of gone into a state of hibernation, I finished my first semester and havent made any friends because I found being from another country hard enough let alone being faced with looking like the fussiest person on the planet!. Everyone's gone home for the summer now so I don't need to worry about it until next semester but I seem to have lost all of my confidence - I've been made fun of because I asked for a salad without croutons, cheese and bacon (no cheese or bacon because I dont like bacon in my food and Im trying to be healthy so no cheese) and all I was left with was a plate of lettuce and they all started laughing at me in the place I was eating. Right now I spend every single day in the house, I rarely leave unless I have to. No idea what to do really, I hate being different and am at the point where I dont know how to make friends anymore. Such is life eh!

Terbie Apprentice
Terbie
Posted

No one has really mentioned this, but how about the idea of cooking your date dinner instead of eating out? How impressed would a girl be if you offered to cook dinner for her instead of take her out to eat. Major brownie points!

My boyfriend and I pretty much always cook food together now for our dates and it's turned into one of our favorite activities. We rarely eat out anymore because I get cross-contaminated too easily.

Just a story of hope: my boyfriend and I started dating before I found out that I had to go on a gluten-free diet. He would even take me to doctor's appointments. I agree with everyone else, if a person isn't willing to make changes in their life based on your food restrictions, it isn't worth it. Going through the whole experience of being sick has made me realize who my friends really are and how much they care about me.

Think of it this way, you'll probably end up with a better person than you would have than if you weren't celiac! It weeds out all the people who aren't worth your time.

As far as the whole genetic thing goes, I completely understand how you feel. I worry about the same thing, but I think that's common for anyone who has medical issues. Plus, my boyfriend says that the good qualities

I pass down to my children will have will overshadow their inability to eat wheat. So try to keep in mind that you are worth more than your medical issues!

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