Overwelmed

[Roda]

Today is a really horrible day. I feel like I am having a complete meltdown. I think a lot of things are contributing to my overall mood and it started Christmas Day. I called my family to wish them a Merry Christmas and everything was good until my brother chimed in. I love him dearly but he can be the most insensitive jerk! We were talking about what we were fixing for dinner and my brother started asking questions. If you read my other post under post diagnosis you will get an idea about him. I believe him to have celiac also. To make a long story short he said some things that irritated me so I jabbed back at him saying that I was nearly certain he has celiac too. He said he didn't care he was not giving up beer, rye wisky and bread. Later my mom said to him that he should care because if he did have it (and I believe for along time 10+ yrs looking back since my diagnosis) that he could be at an increased risk of cancer. He has not said anything about it since and neither have I. No sense beating a dead horse. I also worked all weekend 3rd shift at the hospital and it was a pretty busy weekend. I have only had about 3-4 hrs sleep today. I have pms and a sinus headache, so I guess I am pretty cranky.

I found a recipe for chibatta (? sp) bread that sounded wonderful. I have not attempted any breads yet because I really did not want a let down if it turned out bad so I have been avoiding it completly until last night. I mixed up the sponge last night and was going to make the bread today accroding to the recipe. Something went wrong because the batter was way to runny. I know there is a difference from gluten breads but this was obviouslly too runny. Anyway, I tried to let it rise and it was a big nasty blob all over the parchment paper. I threw it away. I guess today I am having a hard time coping with all of this. Maybe I just need to start with something simpler. Next my 4 yo is missing, he had walked out the front door looking for his daddy. By the time I realized he was gone I looked out the front door and there was my son walking in the driveway and my husband was backing up the car! I freaked not knowing if my husband had seen him, and ran out the door yelling for him. I got very upset because it scared me. My husband had seen him and had told him to go back into the house. It really scared me and I scolded him. I just feel like crying and feel like I am going crazy. Hopefully it is just the pms and sleep deprivation. However, on a side note I just remembered that my husband mentioned about a year ago that my moods around "that time of the month" were a lot worse than in previous years. Could it be related to the celiac? Just wondering.

[rinne]

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough day, sounds like some sleep and t.l.c would go a long way to make you feel better. I hope you can get some.

It always amazes me that people will flat out refuse to change their diets even when they are suffering but that's the reality. My entire family has issues and there are seven children! Two of my brothers have changed but only when they got so sick they had no choice, one sister (with a diagnosis) continues to eat wheat and with her other health problems I don't think she will live so much longer because of it. One sister in denial but meanwhile........

I think the most helpful thing we can do for our families is take care of ourselves so that we can be well, I think that when we can share our wellness, our message is easier for them to receive. I think that when we are afraid for our loved ones it is harder for them to hear us.

What a drag about the bread, I wish you better success with your next batch.

[missy'smom]

Sorry that you're having a rough time. I see you've been gluten-free since Oct. I've been gluten-free for a while but was diagnosed with diabetes just around the time you went gluten-free and have had to adjust my diet and life alot, it feels like when I just started gluten-free so I can relate to the stresses of having the holidays, family relationships, new diet and lifestyle etc. all at once. I'm exhausted and can't wait for the holidays to be over with!

Well said by rinne about taking care of yourself first. I agree. As much as I care about my family members, they are adults and have to take some responsibility for themselves. I believe in helping family and have done more than I should have and it hurts to see them struggle and suffer but I have to take care of me and my kiddo and we have plenty of needs between the two of us.

As for baking. you may want to try some of the mixes that are available, for now, until things settle down. Most that I've tried have worked well. Some are quite good! I was an avid baker and used to bake my own bread before gluten-free, but gluten-free baking is completely different. We have to throw out most of the rules we learned. Most of the bread "doughs" are more like batters and aren't kneaded or shaped but poured more or less into the pans. They need molds of some kind to cling to as they rise.

Hang in there.

[Maura]

So sorry you're having a bad day. Sounds like you really need some sleep. Night shift can be tough unless you make it a priority to schedule enough sleep time. Hopefully after some good rest you will feel better.

As for the bread ... do you have a good cookbook to help with your baking needs? I have Betty Hageman's "Gluten-free Gourmet" and find it very helpful. She explains that gluten-free doughs behave differently from regular flour doughs. Try some of her recipes and see if you can make it work. I make gluten-free pizza every weekend for my family and even my teenagers like it. The dough is the consistency of cake frosting when you pour it into the pan but it cooks up nicely. We use a cake type deep dish and load it up with chicken, cheese, vegetables, garlic, ranch dressing (gluten-free of course) etc. We think it tastes better than any old gluten pizza! It did take some time however to "perfect" my method. I had many "stuck to the pan" mistakes before I got things right. Also, I found that you need to be careful about the amount of liquid added to the dough. I carefully add just the right amount to get the right consistency. Sometimes I make it too runny and have to add more rice flour or potato starch to make it right. I rise the dough in a glass bowl until it doubles and then pour it in!

When I was was trying new things I found that it was easier to focus and try one thing at a time until I got it right. Once you get good at making one thing it's time to move on and try another. Don't take on too much at one time and try to laugh at your mistakes.

Good luck and hang in there!

[CeliacMom2008]

Roda,

Sorry to hear you're having a gross day...I hate those!

Why don't you get some sleep then think up the one food that would you feel "all better" - then look on here or post a request for a simple recipe for that replacement. I'm guessing some sleep and some comfort food would do you a world of good. Maybe some cookies (peanut butter with kisses??) or pizza or if you want bread, we can get you bread or maybe some bread for today and tomorrow you can have french toast. Obviously my idea of comfort food isn't all that healthy, but if you prefer, how about grilled marinated veggies or roast chicken?

Life is too short for gross days. Hug your son, hug your hubby for seeing him and sending him inside, get some sleep, and have your hubby hug you!

Hope tomorrow is a better, brighter day!

[Roda]

Thanks for all the tips on the bread. I just think I was trying to do too much with no sleep. I just got up this morning and feel a whole bunch better. I may even try some bread again! I have had pretty good luck with all of the other stuff I have baked, but the bread I have been avoiding. I don't like failure! I need to lighten up a little and accept I'm going to have those that don't turn out all the time. Part of learning.

I am fortunate that my husband and boys are supportive. My oldest always askes me if I can have something before he offers. How sweet, he is almost 8. All my cooking and baking in the house is gluten free, but on occasion I do make everyone else an old treat. The husband and boys are not gluten free as they still eat bread and cereals. It has not been a problem. They have their own toaster and space on the counter for their stuff.

I am starting to look into going back to school. Hopefully whatever I decide it will eventually get me off of third shift. I have been working it for a about a year and four months. I was working days, but the environment become too hostile for me and it was either quit or go on nights. I really like the place I work and all the people (except the one making it hostile) so I thought that for now would be a better option. It has worked out good for the most part. Days like yesterday are usually few and far between but with my adjusting to this new lifestyle I've been a little more on edge. I feel confident things will only get better. I have a wonderful family and this is a great place for support and information!