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Eating Out With The "boys"

UnhappyCoeliac

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UnhappyCoeliac Enthusiast
UnhappyCoeliac
Posted

Was not that pleasant I must report talk about feel like an outcast.

-10 of my friends ordering beers while i sip some white wine, yes a shot to my maniless right there.

-A bunless burger which became inspired amazing curiosity and large laughs from all involved.

I dislike meal times with my mates. It is my problem I guess at the end of the day but it sucks being such close friends for 8 years my friends say to me whatever they want and vice versa with this open relationship coeliac really becomes annoying :(

very close to giving up today, I am making my friends sound evil and patronizing which is totally unture its probably more just me feeling left out cos of food and beer

rant over

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caek-is-a-lie Explorer
caek-is-a-lie
Posted

I know. It's hard. Sometimes friends make fun because they care and sometimes they make fun because they're just jerks. Only you can know for sure since we haven't met them. My best friends in high school made fun of me because I was the tall right-handed one and they were all short and left-handed. Totally arbitrary and it was because they were the ones that usually felt outcast, so they took it out on me. But not because they didn't like me.

I always appreciate when friends and co-workers let me choose the place to eat because they know I have restrictions and want me to feel at ease eating out with them. But maybe your mates were trying to make you at ease by joking about it, making light of it, and yeah maybe not getting the beer was discouraging. I'm totally grasping at straws here. Like I said, you're the best judge of what was really going on. :)

Thommy-girl1 Newbie
Thommy-girl1
Posted

Eeesh. The age old problem of seeming "normal" when you know you can't cheat. However, there are ways around that. There are gluten free beers out there, and just about any liquor store with a decent beer selection sells them. There's one called Redbridge that's really good (I'll promote that one 'till the day I die, I'm an ex-Guiness fan and I nearly had a heart attack when I found out that I did actually have Celiac). There's also a number of hard cider beers out there that are gluten free too, a couple of which I found in restaurants. Plus, some places have available a list of foods (like Wendy's). If nothing else, invite your friends over for a football game (or whatever else floats your boat), and make them a meal of your own. Then they can see things from your perspective.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Two things:

1) that first one, that wine "shot to your manliness", is totally in your head. that sounds harsher written than it's meant, but there is truth there, and I encourage you to think about it. (and yes, I find myself in the same type of situation, where an expectation I've set in my head isn't met and so I think I do measure up, but the problem isn't with my measuring up, it's with my expectation.)

I have a friend who is very in to wine. he's a guy. he would probably order wine over beer, even if everyone else was drinking beer, any day of the week. (he is not celiac.) he wouldn't care because he is confident about making the choice HE wants to make, not what anyone else wants him to make. (of course, I would have gone water. I can't have any alcohol with the meds I'm on, ever, and the sugar in something like a soda would have screwed with my blood sugar and made me feel like crap the rest of the day.)

2) don't set yourself up for looking more different than you are willing to. a gluten free hamburger looks a lot different than a regular one. but a gluten free steak, or fish, or chicken? not so much. yes, I am making assumptions that you could have made another choice, but *most* of the time it's true. sometimes, you do just have to deal with it. again, it's confidence in your choices and in yourself, so that you know that it doesn't matter if you're different.

3) depending on your friends, you might tell them, once "knock it off. this already sucks, and you guys f*ing with me doesn't help. I either do this, or have intestinal cancer in twenty years. and that sucks more."

efriedm2 Apprentice
efriedm2
Posted

What's the harm in telling your friends straight up that you really don't like your dietary habits being the brunt of the joke at meals? Tell them they can tease you about your haircut or your taste in music or whatever, just not your new diet because it's a sensitive issue.

kakattack Newbie
kakattack
Posted
What's the harm in telling your friends straight up that you really don't like your dietary habits being the brunt of the joke at meals? Tell them they can tease you about your haircut or your taste in music or whatever, just not your new diet because it's a sensitive issue.

omg i hate eating with family and friends

let alone by myself

its so annoying to explain that just about EVERYTHING around me has wheat flour in it :(

Bucsfan11 Rookie
Bucsfan11
Posted

They would not be friends if they gave you a hard time for it!! My friends always give me crap for it but they understand that its something I must do in order to stay healthy. Plus, I tell them I eat gluten free and we are good or I eat stuff with gluten and you guys spend the whole night listening to me yell "Pull the car over!!!!!!" then they have to stop at every gas station we pass. Also, the wine thing, dont worry about it, I am a 22 year old college student and I will always prefer a nice glass of white whine instead of beer. Like I said, my friends always give me crap, but on the inside they understand. Good luck, hope this helps, Sean.

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Anna and Marie Newbie
Anna and Marie
Posted
omg i hate eating with family and friends

let alone by myself

its so annoying to explain that just about EVERYTHING around me has wheat flour in it :(

I totally agree with you there. I HATE family functions because it doesn't matter how many times I have explained it for the past four years, they still ask. Repeatedly ask. <_<

~Anna

IChaseFrisbees Explorer
IChaseFrisbees
Posted

My friends are really good, they don't try to poke fun at me at all (which is a blessing, because we rip on each other for basically everything else!) but I lighten the mood at meals by making jokes at my diets expense, you would be surprised at how good it feels to show that even though you're in a tough situation you can make light of it, and you're friends appreciate that you're trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Tallforagirl Rookie
Tallforagirl
Posted
Was not that pleasant I must report talk about feel like an outcast.

-10 of my friends ordering beers while i sip some white wine

Could you go a Bundy* and Coke for a more "manly" choice of drink? All plain distilled spirits are gluten-free - vodka, whiskey, rum, brandy etc.

Another choice is cider, most pubs have Strongbow or Pipsqueak.

*Bundaberg Rum, in case you Americans are wondering.

caek-is-a-lie Explorer
caek-is-a-lie
Posted

Tallforagirl is right. Plain distilled spirits are supposed to be gluten free, but just be careful of blended whiskeys & scotches. They sometimes use carmel coloring to make all the batches have the same color (because they vary when they're blended.) Sometimes that coloring contains gluten. Same goes for rum...you have to pick the right brand. But single malt scotch is supposed to be distilled enough to be gluten free. I just adore scotch. Especially Glenlivet!! :D

I just haven't tried it since going gluten-free. Anyone else had a good experience? I'm kind of a wimp at experimenting sometimes.

princesskill Rookie
princesskill
Posted

when i go out with my friends who are drinking beer i drink hard cider, mainly strongbow. its 100% gluten free and looks more like beer, they might not even notice, it makes me feel like im less of an oddity and its tasty. just a suggestion.

mindiloo Rookie
mindiloo
Posted

I haven't read all of the replies so I apologize if I'm just reiterating things.

It does really suck especially when everyone's like "Let's go out for Chinese food!" which we can't eat, or at a Mexican place I can't eat at. I'm a girl but I hang out with almost all guys, so it's not like I can be like "Guys, it's really getting on my nerves when you make fun of me like that" because that would make a lot of them do it even more. They're not mean, it's just how we joke around with each other. I would probably do it to them if roles were reversed so I try not to get annoyed.

You could always try an unseasoned steak or plain chicken cooked with salt and pepper...and instead of wine you could get rum or whiskey and soda. ordering a jack and coke, rum and coke, or gin and tonic sounds much more manly than a white wine.

You can always call the restaurant ahead and let them know about your health issues and have them prepare your food ahead of time, or if you buy gluten free hamburger buns you can bring one with you and ask them to use that instead.

ang1e0251 Contributor
ang1e0251
Posted
I totally agree with you there. I HATE family functions because it doesn't matter how many times I have explained it for the past four years, they still ask. Repeatedly ask. <_<~Anna

I think at the next function you should prepare a handout with cartoons and give it to anyone who has asked you more than once for the info!

On the flipside of that, I don't expect anyone who doesn't have celiac disease to fully understand it. My friend has it and I didn't totally understand. Even now there are new things to learn. Let's face it; it's a tough one to understand. Try to have sense of humor about it. Obviously your friends and family think it's the most interesting thing about you. That might be good or bad.

ang1e0251 Contributor
ang1e0251
Posted

Was not that pleasant I must report talk about feel like an outcast.

-10 of my friends ordering beers while i sip some white wine, yes a shot to my maniless right there.-A bunless burger which became inspired amazing curiosity and large laughs from all involved.

I dislike meal times with my mates. It is my problem I guess at the end of the day but it sucks being such close friends for 8 years my friends say to me whatever they want and vice versa with this open relationship coeliac really becomes annoying :(

Sorry you feel like an outcast but did your friends put you there or have you put yourself there? Your mates sound like they're just treating you like they always have. I assume they are trying their best to let you feel like normal around them. I think that's some pretty caring friends. Would you rather they go quiet when you come in the room or not look you in the eye? Come on, you are the one that feels weird about it.

If one your best buddies went to war and lost a leg, wouldn't you crack jokes about the pegleg? You wouldn't think you're insensitive; you would think it will do him good if we joke about it so he knows we still accept him. You would try to get him to fight back so he could feel strong in himself again. You're friends are showing you a lot of love. Now, get out there and give them some "love" back!

  • 2 months later...
hannahp57 Contributor
hannahp57
Posted

i'm a female and we tease each other completely differently... but on the other hand.. i hang out with many more males than females. and they usually say the first thing that pops into their minds... nothing is sacred!

i guess whenever the guys tease me i have always laughed it off because i didnt eat out much before i was used to it and by then i had made so many jokes about it that it seemed natural.

are you new at this? it may just be that you're sensitive becuase it is still so new for you.. unexplored territory and the transition is hard enough already!

the idea of steak and baked potato isn't a bad one. better than ordering a salad next time i promise!

  • 4 weeks later...
Angels~Exist Newbie
Angels~Exist
Posted

My friends are pretty understanding...my family on the other hand likes to announce to anyone that will listen that I have celiac disease and can't have gluten. Sometimes it can get hard (especially when you think about the normal food that you used to love!)

Endevor Newbie
Endevor
Posted

So, I was in a very similar situation when I started my gluten free diet not so long ago because I was and still love beer. Hard Ciders are great because they are cold and refreshing but there are a few (Hornsby) that use caramel coloring and have gluten in them. Also, Ive become something of a bourbon and scotch fanatic, and when you order any whiskey neat in front of your friends they will never be able to question your "manhood" again.

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