I Want To Complain!

[mytummyhurts]

I miss the freedom of being able to go anywhere and not worry about FOOD!

I think how this thread started was someone trying to defeat a bout of depression, which does crop up now and then.

YES, there are tons of things much worse than Celiac disease, I'm sure we all realize this, however, if someone is trying to get out of a round of depression by venting their feelings, I don't think we should make them feel guilty by pointing out the person down the road with cancer.

When I am having an argument with my family about whether or not I can eat this, or go there, I'm not going to think of the other people in worse shape. I'm going to be feeling frustrated and need someone to understand ... which is what we look for in this forum. Understanding.

Thanks for getting it, Shirley.

This is the first time I've thought about quitting this board because I thought I could come in here and post my silly complaints. At first everybody was being nice about it, but then you all made me feel crappier.

[tarnalberry]

I'm sorry that you felt crappier after posting. I think, at least in my case, as much as we can accept that it really bothers you, some of us may not be able to understand the extent to which it does. (And you could argue we don't want to feel crappy for being judged "not sympathetic enough", but I'm not saying YOU did that, I'm talking theoretically - 'cause I do that, talk about things theoretically. If I thought you did that, I'd just say it, but I don't think you did.)

Some of us are more action oriented, so there's a window for complaining, then you go on and make the changes that need to be made. Some of us are more thought oriented, so there's always room for an open discussion on the topic no matter what. (And some of us are confused wafflers who shift between the two annoying our action-oriented spouses when we're feeling "chatty" about things... ;-) :-D Anyone with me on this one?)

I hope you can find a way to make the diet less sucky, even if it always will be a major annoyance in your life, hopefully something can make it just that much easier. And please don't leave - we can use everyone's input, including reminding us how we all deal with things differently. (And sometimes one person deals with things differently on different days - I know I do.)

[luvs2eat]

I too feel your pain. I miss bread... homemade bread, made from flour, water, yeast, and salt... not 50 obscure ingredients that end up with each slice weighing a ton and so crumbly that it can't hold a sandwich!

I miss cracking open an ice cold beer.

Like my friend says... just cause the neighbor has cancer doesn't make your toothache hurt any LESS.

In the scheme of things... celiac disease is nothing... but I still miss bread and beer!!

[mytummyhurts]

I just wanted to come in here yesterday and post my complaint because I feel like here is the only place where people will get it. I wasn't saying my disease is the worst in the world. I understand that some people have it worse off. But when somebody has a family member die do you say "well, it could have been worse, your whole family could have died." Or, when my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer I didn't say "Mom, it could have been worse, you could have gotten cancer in both breasts." It just doesn't help somebody feel better to say that.

You have to remember that some people find this harder than others. On a different post somebody said they were tired of people complaining that this diet is hard. Well, it is really hard for some people. Why shouldn't we be able to complain? That's one reason some of us come here. So we can complain to people who understand.

This life change has been really hard for me. I basically couldn't eat 95% of what I ate before. And yes, it has forced me to eat healthier, but that doesn't make me feel better that my life is going to be disrupted by this forever. I also never cooked before and I'm having a hard time knowing what to cook and where to start. Nobody ever showed me how to cook anything, so I'm basically having to start from the beginning. I've been living off almost the same five foods since this started. So this is hard for some of us. I come here partly so I can feel some sympathy. I know no one else that has this. No family members have been diagnosed and I don't belong to a support group. So I'm all by myself except you guys and it hurts me when you basically say "stop your whining!" Sometimes I want to whine!

[skbird]

As someone who has been having to carefully order at restaurants for 6 years now due to various and *increasing* food limitations, I am used to it but tired of it, as well. That and my friends who will say, upon entering a place like the fair, "Oh wow, you can't eat anything here, can you?" I maintain a positive attitude about it all 90% of the time because it *is* great that diet can maintain something like this. But that doesn't mean I don't feel annoyed by it, either.

Sometimes I think, gee, so what will I have to cut out next? The list is already ridiculous. I love the great stuff I can eat and love to cook as well. But my life has been getting fuller and fuller lately and I am finding less time to prepare stuff. Plus, my hypoglycemia symptoms seem to be coming back lately and messing with my schedule, meaning that while I had figured out when and what I needed to eat for a while there, now it's not enough nor is it the right thing. Frustrating.

I can understand the need to rant and I'm really glad I can come on this board and do just that. Just because I need to rant doesn't mean I am not glad to be able to follow a diet to feel better, but it does mean that I need to express myself before moving on.

It's like saying someone who can walk shouldn't complain about their foot hurting because there are people who can't walk at all... do you get what I'm saying?

Anyway, I think it's healthy to voice frustration. I don't miss the person I was before, but I sure do miss Mexican food, especially chili rellenos, like you wouldn't believe!

Stephanie

[VegasCeliacBuckeye]

You couldn't pay me to eat a rice cake....not a chance....they are awful!

The beer thing will be remedied this year. Bards beer will soon be available nationwide (I am going back to Ohio this weekend and it is available there!!! HOORAY).

Folks with celiac disease or GI have to accept the fact that their diet is a benefit and an inconvienence. It all comes down to preparation and education.

I HATE going to pizza parlors with my friends, but I do it as my friends crave good pizza. The solution I made was to eat pizza before I go to a parlor, etc, etc.

Bring a backpack to the fair -- I prefer that compared to a bag/pail/fanny pack/etc.

The gluten-free world is changing and becoming more accomodating...be patient my friends and help educate the world about our plight...I really beleive it is possible to educate a new restautant/manager about celiac every day, the more this occurs, the easier our life gets.

JMO

Bronco

[jenvan]

Anyway, I think it's healthy to voice frustration. I don't miss the person I was before, but I sure do miss Mexican food, especially chili rellenos, like you wouldn't believe! 

Stephanie--I like how you put that--don't miss the person, but miss the foods...

Abby--You know I got your back girl

I have been used to a restricted diet for years, due to "IBS", so it was less of a shock to me than some. And I like to cook, which helps, so if I am eating at home, its not an issue, and not really a hardship for me. But, going out, being with friends, that is the hard part. We had 3 cookouts this weekend--at least I could eat my own dish !

Quick story: My best friend wanted to be thoughtful and bake me a gluten free surprise for one of the cookouts this weekend. After she told me I kept thinking about it and thinking of how she can be very impulsive, and not real detail-oriented. I started to worry and think the gluten-free surprise would most likely be contaminated. The funny part is she called me the next morning and had made gluten-free chocolate brownies--but had forgotten I can't eat chocolate ! So, I was off the hook this time !

[mytummyhurts]

I'm sorry people! I way overreacted to this. I easily misread people's intentions and now realize that things were not intended the way I read them. I'm sorry and I'm moving on now.

Jen - your story about your friend is funny. I went over to my best friend's house this past weekend for the first time since going gluten-free and she was going to make me a "glutton" (our joke) free meal. When people tell you that you feel good that they are trying to help you, but at the same time you immediately think that they can't handle it. So, we got there and she was going to make a turkey that came pre-marinated in something and I read the pack and the dreaded ingredients "modified food starch" and "natural ingredients" were there. So that was out. Then desert was a low-cal ice cream with a chocolate sauce and the "natural ingredients" was, of course, present again. I probably would have been safe with those, but I didn't want to risk it as we were more than an hour away from home. They ended up making me my own burgers, so I was ok. I appreciate her trying. She even bought a quinoa rice-a-roni type thing just for me!

[mcalistorm]

Rant away Abby! Like I said it could be worse but darn it feels good to have someone to rant to who understands..really understands. Sorry you are new to cooking. It can be fun when you get the hang of it. My mom started me cooking as soon as I could walk..but sometimes after a hard day of work I just don't feel like it ! Cooking is hard work ( well really its the cleaning up I don't like!) Lucky my husband is so sweet he will cook for me after he has had a longer day then I have had. What a catch He is diabetic so we are on completley different diets. We often make two different versions of the same meal, or two different meals at the same time. (hence the dishes dislike) He is very careful about cross- contamination. He really does most of the cooking even though he eats at the chinese buffett across the street half the time. I think this disease is harder on him than it is on me! He also does most of the shopping and researchs what I can and can't have. He usually does not eat goodies in front of me. I think the sad puppy look on my face when he gets Crispy Creams was getting to him.

The trick for me is not to dwell on it, but to make sure I express what I am feeling about at the time. Get it out, discuss with people who understand what I am going through, and then find a new recipe that tastes better then the wheaty origional. If you don't learn to love cooking, and many people don't, you could do what I did and train the boyfriend/girlfriend/mate/roommate to cook...hehehehehe give them a gift certificate for cooking classes...send them to master chef school.....or at least make them watch the food channel or public tv cooking shows with you..ok I am kinda tounge in cheek here

I thank The Powers That Be everyday that I found the greatest Guy in the world and that he puts up with me ! I can't even think about how sucky going through this would have been without him. I think one of the reasons I don't mind the gluten-free thing so much is I hardly have to miss anything anymore. The final addition of edible bread was overcome last month when my mom found a bakery that makes fresh, TASTY, gluten-free products. Bread, cake, cookies, she stocks all the gluten-free microwaveable foods. (these are a good Idea too have around if you don't feel like cooking). Also I felt so bad for so long before I found out what was wrong with me the frustration from food denial and inconveinence is nothing compared to being sick and in pain all the time like I was.

I am real lucky to have so many people around me who understand what I am going through. Both my parents have celiac disease. My husband has more allergies than I do. My best friend just found out her husband and son have the gluten-free gene. I live in Dallas so I have lots of choices when eating out or buying food. If anyone is from the area let me know, I would love to find more people to hang with. Glad you guys are here to rant to occasionally though...my mom and dad always try and one-up me when we get on a whine. They can do it every time too They did not get diagnoused till their eighties so the damge done is really bad. I wish I could get them to get on this board. I really think talking to other people would help them. They are deathly afraid of computers however.

God Bless the computer.

[princessfuzzball]

Yeah! Allright, I'm still of mixed emotions, but I know that good things will come to those who are positive and can adhere to the diet they need, because then you won't get sick!

Thanks for sharing, and yes, we all need our days to vent.

[mytummyhurts]

Mcalistrom - You are very lucky! I wish my husband would help, he even refuses to do the dishes if I cook.

Last night I attempted to make salmon with rice and the salmon came out too dry and I couldn't find the manual for the rice cooker, so I didn't put in enough water and the rice wasn't fluffy. My husband said, maybe I should start cooking. And I was like "yes! please do!" He's a lot better at it than I am. But then within a few minutes he had changed to saying we should cook together and I said "that sounds great, let's do that" but then he changed a few minutes later back to me cooking. Well I guess he's going to be eating crap then!

[jenvan]

Abby-

I hear ya girl. My husband does like the grill, so I've got him grilling alot right now. However, I do 95% of the cooking...and he will clean up the dishes....2 days later ! Our kitchen is very small, so if we leave any dishes unwashed (no dishwasher either), I am left with like 2 square feet of counter space... or is it 1 square foot ?! And, I'm a bit of a neat freak, so dirty dishes drives me crazy !

I'm sure you will get the hang of cooking soon. I think one of the best things is to develop a small repetoire of easy dishes, and mix and match--ie. pasta w/ or w/o veggies or meat, beans and rice with spices and w/ or w/o veggies or meats, yadda yadda....

[Guest gfinnebraska]

Husbands cook?? Do dishes???? Not in my house!! My husband is spoiled!!! He eats well -> with no work before, during or after! Sigh...

Any of you single gals take note: train them right from the beginning!!! Hahaha! I've been married 21 years, and it is too late to change him now!

[VydorScope]

Yay, yay, yay bash away at the poor husbands that are not here to defend themselves! FYW, I do all the baking, dishes, and some of the cooking for my stay at home wife.

[Guest Eloisa]

Your a gem. That's okay my husband does most of the cooking too. I taught him everything he knows and now he thinks he a chef. We love our husbands who cook and gluten free too.

[ianm]

I have always been the cook and my dad is an excellent cook. My ex couldn't cook to save her life and my mother.. Oops better not go there. . Lets just say there is a reason I learned to cook at an early age.

[mytummyhurts]

Abby-

I hear ya girl.  My husband does like the grill, so I've got him grilling alot right now.  However, I do 95% of the cooking...and he will clean up the dishes....2 days later !  Our kitchen is very small, so if we leave any dishes unwashed (no dishwasher either), I am left with like 2 square feet of counter space... or is it 1 square foot ?!  And, I'm a bit of a neat freak, so dirty dishes drives me crazy ! 

Sorry...more husband bashing. But he knows that I do it, so it's okay.

The few times my husband has done the dishes he loads the dishwasher so terribly that hardly any of the dishes actually come clean! I don't mind doing the dishes at all, I just wish he would help with the cooking because I hate that part!

My husband does cook on the BBQ, but all we've done so far is steaks and burgers and those aren't exactly the best for you.

For all you husbands that cook and help around the house, your wives are very lucky to have you!

[jenvan]

Wow Vincent ! I am impressed !

My husband is still "transitioning" from batchelor to hubby. I do most of the work, which is okay, but there are a handful things I would looooove his help on. I did say once though...if you want to have kids, I'm going to need you a lot more than I do now! I haven't seen any improvements with my celiac yet, so oftentimes I get overwhelmed, wishing he would help me take care of things.

I try and simplify when I can, and I hope he will continue to get used to helping... He does have one room in the house that is his, and I never comment on the clothes strewn about the place, or the desk covered in junk mail and magazines... We definitely do have different priorities !

[KaitiUSA]

I have always been the cook and my dad is an excellent cook. My ex couldn't cook to save her life and my mother.. Oops better not go there. . Lets just say there is a reason I learned to cook at an early age.

You better hope she doesn't see that.

My mom is a good cook but sometimes she likes to try to modify things and I tell her it tastes bad when she does that but my dad tries to make her think it's good(even though you can tell by his face he is choking it down) so then she makes it again

So now I cook myself when I know she is "experimenting" with recipes

[jenvan]

My dad was the cook in the my family--I learned from him. My mom--her cooking style is to pop a lean cuisine tv dinner into the microwave !

[mytummyhurts]

Nobody was a cook in my family. That's why I have no clue what I'm doing!

[tarnalberry]

*begin fake admonshing voice meant to amuse you*

abby, I'm afraid I'm going to have to correct you on that one. maybe you PREVIOUSLY had no clue, but now you have at least one or two clues! all that's left is decades of practice.

*end fake voice*

lol I couldn't resist. you've learned so much already! :-)

[mytummyhurts]

*begin fake admonshing voice meant to amuse you*

abby, I'm afraid I'm going to have to correct you on that one.  maybe you PREVIOUSLY had no clue, but now you have at least one or two clues!  all that's left is decades of practice.

*end fake voice*

lol      I couldn't resist.  you've learned so much already! :-)

Okay, maybe I do know a little more now than when I started. But I'm still a pretty sad cook. My husband actually agreed last night that we should start cooking together. Let's see how long that lasts!

[jenvan]

Abby--

Do you guys have a grill? My husband llikes to cook if he can do it on the grill--all the fire and parts and tools--It affirms his manliness. Seriously--the manly thing is a huge motivater !!! He's like "Grrrr, I just grilled this shrimp and steak. Arrr..."

[skbird]

What is it with guys and grills? If I ask my husband to make dinner, he pouts. But if I ask him to GRILL something, he's all over it.

I don't get it...

Stephanie