I Am Tired Of It

[Rowena]

So as you may remember from other threads I have made and posted in, I have lost a lot of weight and am still losing a lot of weight after being on a gluten free diet. Which yes is a good thing as just in a couple months I gained 40 pounds. This is something that is highly unusual for someone who has never gained more than 5 pounds in that amount of time. In fact half the time I am trying hard NOT to lose weight. Beyond the GI problems gluten has given me, this added measure of weight loss is nothing short of a miracle.

Anyway, I love weight loss. But I am tired of it being the only subject of discussion at work. My boss always says to people every time she sees me (to the nearest person other than me) "Hasn't Karen lost a lot of weight? Doesn't she look good?" And of course people reply, "Yes she does. I am so jealous!" Or someone else comes up to me and asks, "What are you doing? You look so good!" Yadda Yadda Yadda. At first it was nice to hear, and was very reassuring. But now, two months later, I am tired of it. Stop talking about my weight loss. To me what is most important is that I am finally healthy and feeling like living my life again. But to them it is just "Oh look how much weight Karen has lost." Of course my mom doesn't help either. She always says things like, "You are looking like my Karen again." Well gee thanks. (And does she focus at all on my better health? Nope.)

Does anyone else have a similar problem? If so how do you deal with it? I personally don't like being the talk of the town. And if I am, I would much rather it be about something more important...

[FooGirlsMom]

Hi Karen,

I do know how you feel. I lost 40 lbs in 3 months on a gluten-free diet and yes it becomes the hot topic of conversation. If you're anything like me, you don't define yourself by your weight (or other people either for that matter). It's like "you" disappear as everyone begins telling you how wonderful you look. Yes, we do look better when we lose the weight - who doesn't? But like you, what I get excited about is how much better I feel.

It's kind of a losing battle in my experience, but just keep telling everyone the weight loss is just a reflection of your overall health & finding what is helping you not be sick anymore. For you the weight was sickness.

Once everyone gets used to your new loss (give it 6 months) everyone will forget what you looked like before and this will be the new normal for them. I've seen it happen to tons of people, including myself some years back (looking forward to getting there again - I'm still losing right now. Have dropped about 15 lbs without really trying in 6 weeks going gluten-free)...and the weight is definitely a reflection of how I feel - much better!

The hulabaloo will all die down until you see someone who met you heavier then they'll make a big to-do about it but overall the people you see everyday will get over it

Hang in there...not much longer!

FooGirlsMom

PS...I think psychologically what happens is that when someone close to you sees you lost weight they have renewed energy & hope they can lose it too and look as good as you do. I know it seems shallow but weight struggles plague people and you become the new symbol of their hope. That's why all the questions about how you lost it. If you can see it for how sad it is, it helps with the tolerance when it starts driving you up the wall.

[Judy3]

I've been getting this too at work. I got so tired of it this week with the comments ALL THE TIME 'you're shriveling up to nothing', 'oh you've lost so much weight how did you do it' etc... that I finally said to these women. "I've been sick for 2 years and it finally got bad enough that I couldn't keep anything in and then they diagnosed me with Celiac Disease, Hey it's a great diet plan if you can stand the pain".. As I walked away from the nosey people one said 'what's Celiac Disease?' I shouted over my shoulder "Look it up online". I know maybe not very nice but honest and to the point.. the next day they didn't say a word about it and were friendly again. I hope it's not the pitty party now LOL

[TPT]

Not that I've lost weight, but I understand what you are saying. People mean well though, so why not make it a teachable moment? (Ie. Explain that you are HEALTHIER.)

[Rowena]

On a related note, I have to brag about my coworker. Not that she is on a gluten-free diet or nuthing, but its same subject. I am so proud of her, she has lost 80 pounds and looks AMAZING! But even more astounding is the fact that she is off her meds and such for heart problems and things of that nature. (Not sure all the health problems she had) But everyone talks about her weight loss. I am personally more concerned about her health. Sure she looks good, but healthwise she is doing a hell of a lot better. That's what's important.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I don't have a job to have this problem, but my mom is always saying stuff like this to me. My whole life all she has ever focused on is my weight. When I was bedbound with pain and hardly able to keep any food down, yet gaining weight despite eating not much more than crackers and toast, my mom told me I needed to exercise more and try to lose weight. Gee, thanks mom. Why didn't I think of that. Then when I lost weight my mom thought this gluten free thing was just a new kind of weight loss diet I was doing. I had to remind her many, many times how sick I was and send her lots of info on celiac disease. She has been supportive of my eating gluten free and sent me a bunch of gltuen free food for Christmas, but I think she may still think this is just a phase or something I'm doing to lose weight. I know she doesn't undestand how much more healthy I am now. that's mainly why I haven't tried to lose any more than what I lost the first few months. I have more to weight loose to be in the normal range, but I'm really more concerned about being strong and healthy instead of being thinner. I think being sick makes us realize what is really important--when you have had your health taken away and then restored again, you never want to go back to being that sick and it seems shallow to focus on your appearance over your health. I'm willing to bet most of the people complimenting you have not had to go through a period of terrible illness.