Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Boyfriend In Denial About Celiac Disease

ginny1138

Recommended Posts

ginny1138 Newbie
ginny1138
Posted

Hello.

My boyfriend of about two years has Celiac disease and always cheats on his diet. About a year ago his denial caused him to have an irregular heart beat and malnutrition. He had no energy and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming exhausted and nauseous. Since then he has been better about his diet but is still not 100% gluten free. He doesn

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


hockeymomofceliacchild Rookie
hockeymomofceliacchild
Posted

Hello.

My boyfriend of about two years has Celiac disease and always cheats on his diet. About a year ago his denial caused him to have an irregular heart beat and malnutrition. He had no energy and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming exhausted and nauseous. Since then he has been better about his diet but is still not 100% gluten free. He doesn

Jungle Rookie
Jungle
Posted

I guess you have to decide if this is what you want to sign-up for a lifetime of.

If he doesn't want to take care of himself, can you depend on him to take care of you? It is not your job to rescue him. There are many things in life that are hard to deal with. As annoying as celiacs is, it is a very simple medical diagnosis. Don't eat gluten and you will be better. How many other things do you cure as simply as that. No side effects, no surgery.

Life will throw you twists and turns. If he can't step up and look after himself because it is hard, how is he going to sacrifice his wants to support you and the family you may have?

You have gone above and beyond by being supportive of him and trying to make this a way of life for you as well as him. I don't think there is anything more you can do. Only he can change his behavior. You might have to consider he might not.

ElseB Contributor
ElseB
Posted

Hello.

My boyfriend of about two years has Celiac disease and always cheats on his diet. About a year ago his denial caused him to have an irregular heart beat and malnutrition. He had no energy and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming exhausted and nauseous. Since then he has been better about his diet but is still not 100% gluten free. He doesn

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

To get some possible insight to the male thinking, you might be interested in reading this recent thread:

Guys are not like gals :P

eatmeat4good Enthusiast
eatmeat4good
Posted

When people show you who they really are...believe them.

--Maya Angelou

I think it speaks to his problem solving, judgment, and willingness to ignore something really significant regardless of the consequences.

You have to ask yourself how this will work in the long term. Not just with his Celiac but with other things.

AzizaRivers Apprentice
AzizaRivers
Posted

I do want to say I think you're being an awesome girlfriend for being supportive of him, and especially going gluten-free for solidarity. I think sometimes people don't realize how good that makes us feel, someone saying "I'm in this with you, we'll do it together."

Have you had a long sit-down talk with him about this, or just bits and pieces here and there trying to get him to understand? I don't know what the rest of your relationship looks like, but I could never imagine saying "Sorry, looks like if you can't take care of yourself you can't take care of anything. Bye bye!" This is something he needs help with, and unless your relationship is strained in other ways, I could not imagine it would be the best thing to break up with him over this. No disrespect of course to those who advise you to think about your relationship (we all need to be evaluating our relationships) but I simply see a different point of view.

First of all, he needs to understand that celiac is not impossible to live with. It does not rule my life, and it doesn't really stop me from doing anything except eating gluten. There are so many worse things that can happen to a person besides celiac! I can go somewhere with friends and either bring my own food, or just enjoy their company and not let the food issue get in my way. There are so many things he can still eat, and he needs to learn how to appreciate them. Humans tend to compose too much of our diets from carbs and starches anyway, so there's no need to bother too much with replacements unless it's the occasional treat.

What are his favorite foods? Sometimes you can make really good alternatives if you do it right, if that would help him cope. I think one of the biggest things he needs is to realize this is not the end of the world. It's just gluten...who needs that, anyway?

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,547
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    gizmo1jazz2
    Newest Member
    gizmo1jazz2
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Taken Seriously

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Your post demonstrates the profound frustration and isolation that so many in the Celiac community feel, and I want to thank you for channeling that experience into advocacy. The medical gaslighting you endured for decades is an unacceptable and, sadly, a common story, and the fact that you now have to "school" your own GI specialist speaks volumes about the critical lack of consistent and updated education. Your idea to make Celiac Disease a reportable condition to public health authorities is a compelling and strategic one. This single action would force the system to formally acknowledge the prevalence and seriousness of the disease, creating a concrete dataset that could drive better research funding, shape medical school curricula, and validate the patient experience in a way that individual stories alone often cannot. It is an uphill battle, but contacting representatives, as you have done with Adam Gray, is exactly how change begins. By framing it as a public health necessity—a matter of patient safety and protection from misdiagnosis and neglect—you are building a powerful case. Your voice and your perseverance, forged through thirty years of struggle, are exactly what this community needs to ensure that no one else has to fight so hard just to be believed and properly cared for.
    • Scott Adams
      Looking for a gluten-free roomie in Denver CO

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      I had no idea there is a "Louisville" in Colorado!😉 I thought it was a typo because I always think of the Kentucky city--but good luck!
    • Scott Adams
      Allergy medication: cetirizine by the HealthA2Z is it gluten free?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Navigating medication safety with Celiac disease can be incredibly stressful, especially when dealing with asthma and severe allergies on top of it. While I don't have personal experience with the HealthA2Z brand of cetirizine, your caution is absolutely warranted. The inactive ingredients in pills, known as excipients, are often where gluten can be hidden, and since the FDA does not require gluten-free labeling for prescription or over-the-counter drugs, the manufacturer's word is essential. The fact that you cannot get a clear answer from Allegiant Health is a significant red flag; a company that is confident its product is gluten-free will typically have a customer service protocol to answer that exact question. In situations like this, the safest course of action is to consider this product "guilty until proven innocent" and avoid it. A better alternative would be to ask your pharmacist or doctor to help you identify a major national brand of cetirizine (like Zyrtec) whose manufacturer has a verified, publicly stated gluten-free policy for that specific medication. It's not worth the risk to your health when reliable, verifiable options are almost certainly available to you. You can search this site for USA prescriptions medications, but will need to know the manufacturer/maker if there is more than one, especially if you use a generic version of the medication: To see the ingredients you will need to click on the correct version of the medication and maker in the results, then scroll down to "Ingredients and Appearance" and click it, and then look at "Inactive Ingredients," as any gluten ingredients would likely appear there, rather than in the Active Ingredients area. https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/   
    • Scott Adams
      Protein or fat?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      What you're describing is indeed familiar to many in the Celiac community, especially in the early stages of healing. When the intestinal villi are damaged from Celiac disease, they struggle to properly digest and absorb fats, a condition known as bile acid malabsorption. This can cause exactly the kind of cramping and spasms you're seeing, as undigested fats can irritate the sensitive gut lining. It is highly plausible that her reactions to dairy and eggs are linked to their higher fat content rather than the proteins, especially since she tolerates lean chicken breast. The great news is that for many, this does improve with time. As her gut continues to heal on a strict gluten-free diet, her ability to produce the necessary enzymes and bile to break down fats should gradually return, allowing her to slowly tolerate a wider variety of foods. It's a slow process of healing, but your careful approach of focusing on low-fat, nutrient-dense foods like seeds and avocado is providing her system the best possible environment to recover. Many people with celiac disease, especially those who are in the 0-2 year range of their recovery, have additional food intolerance issues which could be temporary. To figure this out you may need to keep a food diary and do an elimination diet over a few months. Some common food intolerance issues are dairy/casein, eggs, corn, oats, and soy. The good news is that after your gut heals (for most people who are 100% gluten-free this will take several months to two years) you may be able to slowly add some these items back into your diet after the damaged villi heal. This article may be helpful: Thank you for sharing your story—it's a valuable insight for other parents navigating similar challenges.
    • Beverage
      Diagnosed celiac for 1-2 months ago and everything makes me bloated.

      By Beverage · Posted

      I had a very rough month after diagnosis. No exaggeration, lost so much inflammatory weight, I looked like a bag of bones, underneath i had been literally starving to death. I did start feeling noticeably better after a month of very strict control of my kitchen and home. What are you eating for breakfast and lunch? I ignored my doc and ate oats, yes they were gluten free, but some brands are at the higher end of gluten free. Lots of celics can eat Bob's Red Mill gluten-free oats, but not me. I can now eat them, but they have to be grown and processed according to the "purity protocol" methods. I mail order them, Montana Gluten-Free brand. A food and symptoms and activities log can be helpful in tracking down issues. You might be totally aware, but I have to mention about the risk of airborne gluten. As the doc that diagnosed me warned . . Remember eyes, ears, nose, and mouth all lead to your stomach and intestines.  Are you getting any cross contamination? Airborne gluten? Any pets eating gluten (they eat it, lick themselves, you pet them...)? Any house remodeling? We live in an older home, always fixing something. I've gotten glutened from the dust from cutting into plaster walls, possibly also plywood (glues). The suggestions by many here on vitamin supplements also really helped me. I had some lingering allergies and asthma, which are now 99% gone. I was taking Albuterol inhaler every hour just to breathe, but thiamine in form of benfotiamine kicked that down to 1-2 times a day within a few days of starting it. Also, since cutting out inflammatory seed oils (canola, sunflower, grapeseed, etc) and cooking with real olive oil, avocado oil, ghee, and coconut oil, I have noticed even greater improvement overall and haven't used the inhaler in months! It takes time to weed out everything in your life that contains gluten, and it takes awhile to heal and rebuild your health. At first it's mentally exhausting, overwhelming, even obsessive, but it gets better and second nature.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.