Boyfriend In Denial About Celiac Disease

[ginny1138]

Hello.

My boyfriend of about two years has Celiac disease and always cheats on his diet. About a year ago his denial caused him to have an irregular heart beat and malnutrition. He had no energy and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming exhausted and nauseous. Since then he has been better about his diet but is still not 100% gluten free. He doesn

[hockeymomofceliacchild]

Hello.

My boyfriend of about two years has Celiac disease and always cheats on his diet. About a year ago his denial caused him to have an irregular heart beat and malnutrition. He had no energy and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming exhausted and nauseous. Since then he has been better about his diet but is still not 100% gluten free. He doesn

[Jungle]

I guess you have to decide if this is what you want to sign-up for a lifetime of.

If he doesn't want to take care of himself, can you depend on him to take care of you? It is not your job to rescue him. There are many things in life that are hard to deal with. As annoying as celiacs is, it is a very simple medical diagnosis. Don't eat gluten and you will be better. How many other things do you cure as simply as that. No side effects, no surgery.

Life will throw you twists and turns. If he can't step up and look after himself because it is hard, how is he going to sacrifice his wants to support you and the family you may have?

You have gone above and beyond by being supportive of him and trying to make this a way of life for you as well as him. I don't think there is anything more you can do. Only he can change his behavior. You might have to consider he might not.

[ElseB]

Hello.

My boyfriend of about two years has Celiac disease and always cheats on his diet. About a year ago his denial caused him to have an irregular heart beat and malnutrition. He had no energy and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming exhausted and nauseous. Since then he has been better about his diet but is still not 100% gluten free. He doesn

[mushroom]

To get some possible insight to the male thinking, you might be interested in reading this recent thread:

Guys are not like gals

[eatmeat4good]

When people show you who they really are...believe them.

--Maya Angelou

I think it speaks to his problem solving, judgment, and willingness to ignore something really significant regardless of the consequences.

You have to ask yourself how this will work in the long term. Not just with his Celiac but with other things.

[AzizaRivers]

I do want to say I think you're being an awesome girlfriend for being supportive of him, and especially going gluten-free for solidarity. I think sometimes people don't realize how good that makes us feel, someone saying "I'm in this with you, we'll do it together."

Have you had a long sit-down talk with him about this, or just bits and pieces here and there trying to get him to understand? I don't know what the rest of your relationship looks like, but I could never imagine saying "Sorry, looks like if you can't take care of yourself you can't take care of anything. Bye bye!" This is something he needs help with, and unless your relationship is strained in other ways, I could not imagine it would be the best thing to break up with him over this. No disrespect of course to those who advise you to think about your relationship (we all need to be evaluating our relationships) but I simply see a different point of view.

First of all, he needs to understand that celiac is not impossible to live with. It does not rule my life, and it doesn't really stop me from doing anything except eating gluten. There are so many worse things that can happen to a person besides celiac! I can go somewhere with friends and either bring my own food, or just enjoy their company and not let the food issue get in my way. There are so many things he can still eat, and he needs to learn how to appreciate them. Humans tend to compose too much of our diets from carbs and starches anyway, so there's no need to bother too much with replacements unless it's the occasional treat.

What are his favorite foods? Sometimes you can make really good alternatives if you do it right, if that would help him cope. I think one of the biggest things he needs is to realize this is not the end of the world. It's just gluten...who needs that, anyway?