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Celiac Indian- How To Set Right Expectations

celiac indian

By celiac indian
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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celiac indian Newbie
celiac indian
Posted

Hi,

I am celaic residing in India, 6 months back I was diagnosed, prior to that I was in relationship which didn't work, as I was told that I tend to act as loner and depressed, initially I was not aware why i was so insecure and depressed..before i could realize that culprit was celaic that relationship ended. Now when i know i am diagnosed i realized why things went wrong and wanted to started fresh as i was confident that most of the complains i faced now i have reason and now I can overcome But now I realize how difficult is to survive or have social life especially when you are in country which has very minimum awareness. I started dating this girl who for obvious reasons could not enjoy hanging out with me, because of my sensitivities. She started ignoring me as I could not give her company while eating out or travel. She felt really bad eating alone or not really seeing me enjoy what she likes. I decided to distance myself the day she advised that life with a person like me would be really difficult and if at all you are looking for marriage make sure your girl friend spends reasonable;e time with you...as any girl will find it very difficult to survive whole life with a person like me. This has made me really dissapointed. I dont know whom to discuss this with and want to check if you guys have faced problem like this and how did you get over and set the expectations right. I know culture is different here but I want to get out of this depression of treated as very difficult person to stay. Is it really that difficult to survive with celaic partner? feeling good after writing what was troubling me

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Skylark Collaborator
Skylark
Posted

The men I date enjoy my company and do not focus on my food sensitivities. I think you just need to find a woman who is kind and sympathetic. The one you were dating sounds quite insensitive.

Bubba's Mom Enthusiast
Bubba's Mom
Posted

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. This is still fairly new to you, but as you gain confidence and heal I'm sure you'll do much better? You will learn that there are some foods you can safely eat when out of the house, such as grilled meat or fish, lentils, rice, etc. The important thing is to have at least one place you can safely go to..even if it's just for tea and maybe a dessert so you can get out?

If the person you had a relationship with didn't want to help you through these changes in your life, it sounds like she's not the right person for you? A good partner will be supportive in times of stress, especially. These changes you are making will be an adjustment, and I'm sure the sadness of the relationship ending is adding to your struggle right now?

I'm not familiar with your culture in India, but there must be activities you can participate in, such as book review clubs, or something that ties in with your interests or hobbies? Maybe a dance club? Something where the focus isn't on food? Can you check in your area to see if there are any support groups?

I'm glad you found this site. There's a lot of helpful info here about the diet, and we are here to help you if you have any questions.

You are not alone. :)

UKGail Rookie
UKGail
Posted

What a rotten girl to so undermine your confidence when you are dealing with a big change in lifestyle. I too think you were just unlucky with her, and that there will be plenty more caring, sensitive girls out there.

I have never been to India, but I have friends who are indian born and raised, and our family is a big fan of indian cuisine. Our friends invited us to dinner soon after my diagnosis. I was really worried about this, as I was still strugging at the time to eat anything other than plain meat and veggies. However they went out of their way to make sure there was a good variety of dishes available, with the gluten fee ones well labelled, and the wheat chapattis were made elsewhere and were discretely offered to others well away from the gluten free dishes.

They were both keen to emphasise that this had been no trouble at all, and that much of the indian diet was naturally gluten free. My friend then offered to take us round the indian market in London to show us how to purchase the key ingredients much more cost effectively than in our local supermarkets. The meal was delicious and I didn't get glutened.

With this experience in mind, I am sure you will find much nicer, more sympathetic, girls in time. Good friends will always accept you for who and what you are, not what they wish you could be.

Best wishes

Nannu Rookie
Nannu
Posted

Hi,

I am also an Indian, mother of a celiac child. I completely understand what you must be going through. Believe me, whatever has happened has been fr good. If a girl can't support you before marriage, definitely she will be so difficult to handle after marriage. In such a situation, you need to have a partener who will support you. India has a long way to become a place for celiacs....you don't worry. Its good that you have got time to focus only on your healing and nothing else.

My wishes with you. and do take care

Nannu

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