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How Would You Handle This Situation?

Calmom

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Calmom Apprentice
Calmom
Posted

A friend recently invited me over and went out of their way to make me something gluten free and I had to turn it down and hurt their feeling, because it had rye. In their defense they only remembered the word wheat. Although cross contamination was a huge fear in my mind had it not contained rye. I felt so awful. I had no idea they were planning on making me something to eat, and they were so excited about making me something gluten free. Sometimes it is just so awkward trying to explain to people that you can't really trust eating away from home with out sounding ungrateful or hurting someones feelings.

What do you guys do in these situations?

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Mom23boys Contributor
Mom23boys
Posted

I've been milk free much longer than wheat free. I cannot tell you how many people do not make the connection that cheese and butter are a milk product. I just have to go on about how appreciative I am, thank them but let them know that cheese and butter are milk products. I have also changed my language to "all milk products" instead of "milk". That helps.

Let them know that you appreciate the work they went to. Next time instead of just saying "wheat", say "all wheat/gluten related products". They still may not know what you are talking about but it takes the focus off of "just wheat". HTH.

codetalker Contributor
codetalker
Posted

I have adopted a

Takala Enthusiast
Takala
Posted

I tell them the truth that I am allergic to one of the other ingredients.

Well, maybe, maybe not, but I'm carrying an inhaler and antihistamines, and don't want to use it. Most people are scared of that inhaler ! A couple of times I've pulled it out to use it as a preventive measure when I was going to exert myself hard when we've had forest fire smoke (living in CA, this can be a seasonal problem that goes on for days/weeks and even normal people have trouble breathing, let alone those of us w/ asthma ) and I notice that people are always suddenly very aware of what I'm doing.

Since it is true that I can be more sensitive when in a state of being glutened, this technically is not a fib, it's just sort of a face- saver. ;) It is easy, also, with gluten free stuff because chances are, they really would have used something that would wreck me. See, these reactions to things like flax can be really, really handy sometimes.

The other thing I do is I take food with me whenever I go somewhere, so other people are used to that. I also will bring things I have made that can be for other people.

Cara in Boston Enthusiast
Cara in Boston
Posted

Even though I've told our extended family over and over that my son and I cannot eat anything prepared in a kitchen that is not 100% gluten free, they still kept trying. I know they were trying hard to make us feel included, but it was really just a waste of time and money.

When my son's 6 month blood test came back higher than the doctor wanted, she told us to "step it up" and come back in three months for more tests. While this wasn't great news, it DID help a lot with our problem. Now I could say that the DOCTOR has given us strict instructions about how careful we must be for Joe and they finally listened. We can only eat things at the homes of other people if they are gluten free and still in the package - even then, I take out our servings first and keep them separate. We always bring our own food and a gluten-free dish to share. "Blaming" it on "doctor's orders" and blood test results seemed to be the trick - I guess before they just thought I was being an overprotective mother.

At his 1 year check-up, his levels are finally down (but I didn't share that information with the rest of the family)

Cara

Adalaide Mentor
Adalaide
Posted

After just a few months I'm already aware that I have to steer clear of anything made in a shared facility. I get to be super sensitive, I'm so lucky. <_< I'm surprised at this point that I don't get sick when the word gluten passes my lips. :lol: Last month, for the first time, I had friends over and made dinner. I'm banking on the fact that the couple has a baby due at the end of this month to keep them from deciding she has the time or energy to invite us over. When the inevitable happens though I'll simply have some salad, pray, and enjoy their company. They do know I have celiac but don't understand it well, and with 2.8 kids in the house I don't really expect them to take the time to learn. If push comes to shove I'm prepared with a statement about how celiacs who don't stay 100% gluten free double our chances of certain types of cancer. Nope, not above telling them I'll die of cancer from eating their food, because at least that is serious enough for them to take me seriously, and should end the discussion about it permanently.

ncallier Newbie
ncallier
Posted

After just a few months I'm already aware that I have to steer clear of anything made in a shared facility. I get to be super sensitive, I'm so lucky. <_< I'm surprised at this point that I don't get sick when the word gluten passes my lips. :lol: Last month, for the first time, I had friends over and made dinner. I'm banking on the fact that the couple has a baby due at the end of this month to keep them from deciding she has the time or energy to invite us over. When the inevitable happens though I'll simply have some salad, pray, and enjoy their company. They do know I have celiac but don't understand it well, and with 2.8 kids in the house I don't really expect them to take the time to learn. If push comes to shove I'm prepared with a statement about how celiacs who don't stay 100% gluten free double our chances of certain types of cancer. Nope, not above telling them I'll die of cancer from eating their food, because at least that is serious enough for them to take me seriously, and should end the discussion about it permanently.

How do you "steer clear of anything mad in a shared facility"? My husband and 2 sons do not have celiac disease and have no desire to share my gluten free lifestyle. I keep my food separate from theirs and try to make most of our shared food things that all of us can enjoy. I can sometimes trick them with gluten free pasta, but they refuse to give up their breads and other gluten-filled foods. I am already struggling with my symptoms and all the stress of managing them; I do not think I could also manage the stress of fighting with them over their food.

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Adalaide Mentor
Adalaide
Posted

I wish I could get my husband gluten free, but the odds of that happening are about the same as the odds of a zombie apocalypse. I won't buy anything from a shared facility and at home I mildly worse than insane about the kitchen and my stuff. No one ever even touches any of my dishes. When I cook or even wash I'll clean everything with a new clean rag, twice, then get a third clean rag to wash my dishes with. I share nothing, other than stove burners and counter space and I don't think I could bring myself to eat anything that touched the counter even if I knew it was clean. I keep my stuff separate in the pantry and the refrigerator. I've tried several times to eat something with a warning on the label that it's from a facility that handles wheat and every time I get sick so I'm done messing around. Barring the one friend at church with a family that suffers from severe food allergies I trust no one to prepare my food for me but me.

dani nero Community Regular
dani nero
Posted

A friend recently invited me over and went out of their way to make me something gluten free and I had to turn it down and hurt their feeling, because it had rye. In their defense they only remembered the word wheat. Although cross contamination was a huge fear in my mind had it not contained rye. I felt so awful. I had no idea they were planning on making me something to eat, and they were so excited about making me something gluten free. Sometimes it is just so awkward trying to explain to people that you can't really trust eating away from home with out sounding ungrateful or hurting someones feelings.

What do you guys do in these situations?

I would call them in advance and explain the situation.

If their feelings really did get hurt, I would tell them to grow up.

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