Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Frustrated And Ready To Cry!

DavinaRN

By DavinaRN
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

DavinaRN Explorer
DavinaRN
Posted

Went to breakfast with DH, eggs were nasty so all I ate was 3 slices bacon (DH was rushing me so no snack fixed to take). Then we headed to run some errands, with the final one being a wholesale club. I skipped every single sample, avoided the apple cider donuts that DH kept talking about as we walked the whole store. During this time I was starving (it had been 5 hours since the bacon), DH kept pointing out EVERY thing I like that I couldn't eat. At the end of the shopping trip, I went and got his box of doughnuts and asked him if he likes being mean. His response was, well I know you will eat them. Yeah right, I start feeling worse before I can even finish a meal with gluten. Fast forward to this evening, making our supper plates (grown kids came over), he tells the kids about the doughnuts and how he thought I would eat them. So I tell them about he kept pointing out things I couldn't have until I was at point of crying. He says well he doesn't know what I can't eat. Where the H*~* has he been the last two weeks as I talked about it. Please say it gets easier, really don't want anti anxiety meds to keep from strangling him.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

It gets easier.

I am sorry you had a rotten day and hubs is less than supportive right now.

First step is learning what you can and cannot eat yourself. As you learn and are consistent - he will learn too. As your health improves he'll see the reason for the change.

Another possibilty is he is worried about what your dietary changes mean for him. I can tell you my husband is extremely supportive - now. During my very early days I didn't know how much my dietary changes would effect him and our kids - it all just takes time and unfortunately a LOT of frustration.

Hang in there and come here to rant, b%$@# and complain - we understand completely.

DavinaRN Explorer
DavinaRN
Posted
  • Author

GottaSki, thanks so much for responding so quickly. It helps to know your not alone.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

I haven't eaten any nightshades in more than two years. Hubs yesterday says, "Can you eat peppers?" :rolleyes: And he knows they are a nightshade. Because all he has to worry about is gluten he just skips over the rest of the stuff I can't have.

Mdhriggin Newbie
Mdhriggin
Posted

As the only member of my house who can eat gluten, I am saddened by your husband's response. It did take us a while to figure out what he and the kids could and couldn't eat, as well as how to avoid cross contamination when we were eating out. I have found that honest communication (honey, I feel frustrated when you point out foods I like but THAT WILL CAUSE ME INTESTINAL DAMAGE) seem to work well when done frequently.

shadowicewolf Proficient
shadowicewolf
Posted

Sounds like how my family was. Ignore it. Seriously. There is no need to get upset over it.

1desperateladysaved Proficient
1desperateladysaved
Posted

Oh, I am so sad for you. I had a big struggle since I live with my family of several adult children. I wrote a blog on "How a husband can come around." Other family members are changing their attitude somewhat. I think I blogged about that too.

Now, my husband has realized that I have had a problem with gluten. (8 months gluten free, 6 months grain free.) At first I was feeling so very alone. He began to see extreme changes in my behaviour that reflected the transformation going on inside. Suddenly, I did the dishes without batting an eye. Someone treated me unkindly, but I controlled my anger. This isn't something you can well up within yourself. That is why I say that you need to give yourself time for recovery, withdrawl, and to learn the diet. That is an awful lot.

There was always bright spots for me, my youngest children 8 and 10 years seemed to like any food I gave them. They also occassionally belly ached they wanted to eat what Mom was eating-nothing more. Sometimes, I need to leave the table or room when they ate something that smells strong. Now, we have a system where they cook outside if they must. I don't know what we will do in the winter, though.

I still haven't got my husband to look up celiac on the internet or read the papers that I have on it. He told me once that he didn't know how serious it was. I was just about dying 5 years back. My doctor wrote him a letter to make sure he knew that.

I am still having some real difficulties physically, but some really nice comfortable highs too. Just when I am feeling the worst (quite often) I suddenly feel better then ever!

I hope you will find support- maybe here. I hope you will be committed to make your marriage work-and he will. Nobody knew that Celiac was printed on the back of your marriage license. I mean it was something that just came as a surprise with the whole package. It might take a while, but I hope you will be telling us one day how he came around.

Diana

Your body is probably going through alot just now too. You had been off gluten, back on, and now are off again? you don't have to have everything all together just now. You could be in survival mode for a while.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


DavinaRN Explorer
DavinaRN
Posted
  • Author

I was off for 4 days, then back on for 10, now at 2 days off. I wanted to cry every night during the on time because I felt so bad. I'm not sure if it was really worse or it just felt that way because I knew how it felt to eat without being sicker afterward. Now I'm holding at a baseline "car/motion sick" instead of "stomach virus" kind of sick :) So I know this is my path to feeling better even if the tests are negative for celiac.

As to DH, time will tell but hopefully he will learn. He did good taking care of me after my lung surgery, but you could see and touch the scar :unsure:

Mushroom- :) 2yrs later???

Mdhriggin- my son is hoping he doesn't have to give up fast food

Shadow-Did they ever come around?

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

\

Mushroom- :) 2yrs later???

Yes, but he WAS concerned - little bells were ringing somewhere :lol:

shadowicewolf Proficient
shadowicewolf
Posted

I've been regarded as a hypocondriact and left to it.

I'd rather be that than sick. :ph34r:

DavinaRN Explorer
DavinaRN
Posted
  • Author

I've been regarded as a hypocondriact and left to it.

I'd rather be that than sick. :ph34r:

I so understand that.

dilettantesteph Collaborator
dilettantesteph
Posted

My husband hasn't been as supportive as I would like either. At first he was almost combative not wanting to believe the doctors. Somehow he thought that he knew better than they did. He has come around a bit five years later. We do need to appreciate that this is hard on our loved ones too, though in a different way.

He will still make appreciative noises when he eats things that I can't have and will go on a bit about how good they are. It is hard for me to understand how someone can be so insensitive. I suppose there are things about me that he can't understand. That's what we get into when we marry someone.

The first while on this diet can be a real emotional roller coaster. If you can't get the support you need from your husband, be sure to get it somewhere. You will need it.

NorthernElf Enthusiast
NorthernElf
Posted

Sometimes it takes awhile for those folks around you to get it - they have seen you eat gluten for years.

Really, the best thing you can do is be consistent in not eating gluten, be strict. If they see you slip they will assume you don't really need the diet.

My DH came on board fairly early because he has to live with me...ha ha...and he could see how miserable I got on gluten. His folks were awesome when we visited - my mother in law bought another toaster and cutting board just for me, as well as some gluten-free food. My own folks absolutely suck - I am very careful to bring food with me - we will show up there for supper to buns and assorted meats for supper, nothing for me at all (my own folks!). This is big because they live 6 hours away, it's not like we just pop by. Anyway, I bring a cooler and usually leftovers from the night before so I can eat safely. Even after 10 years I don't think they really get it.

We have all had those times where we have wanted to throttle someone ! Last Xmas holidays we had ice cream cake for my dad's birthday and my mom said a couple of times how good it was & too bad I couldn't have any. Finally I just said "thanks mom" and left it at that....I think she realized what she was doing 'cause she got all quiet for a bit. My mom is a serial dieter & I think she feels guilty eating stuff like that to begin with and 'lucky' me is lean and doesn't have the temptation. Twisted, but whatever.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. xxnonamexx
      - xxnonamexx replied to xxnonamexx's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      4

      My journey is it gluten or fiber?

      I read that as well but I saw the Certified Gluten free symbol that is the reason I ourchased it.
    2. cristiana
      - cristiana replied to sha1091a's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      2

      Issues before diagnosis

      I agree, it so often overlooked! I live in the UK and I have often wondered why doctors are so reluctant to at least exclude it - my thoughts are perhaps the particular tests are expensive for the NHS, so therefore saved for people with 'obvious' symptoms. I was diagnosed in 2013 and was told immediately that my parents, sibling and children should...
    3. chrisinpa
      - chrisinpa commented on Scott Adams's article in Skin Problems and Celiac Disease
      2

      Celiac Disease and Skin Disorders: Exploring a Genetic Connection

      Maybe they can attribute certain skin conditions to either being susceptible to getting Celiac......or the other way around....but I have to ask if certain people are prone to Celiac because of genetics and some people aren't. It's kind of the same thing as what came first.....the chicken or the egg.?
    4. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to xxnonamexx's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      4

      My journey is it gluten or fiber?

      @xxnonamexx, There's labeling on those Trubar gluten free high fiber protein bars that say: "Manufactured in a facility that also processes peanuts, milk, soy, fish, WHEAT, sesame, and other tree nuts." You may want to avoid products made in shared facilities. If you are trying to add more fiber to your diet to ease constipation, considering...
    5. trents
      - trents replied to sha1091a's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      2

      Issues before diagnosis

      Welcome to celiac.com @sha1091a! Your experience is a very common one. Celiac disease is one the most underdiagnosed and misdiagnosed medical conditions out there. The reasons are numerous. One key one is that its symptoms mimic so many other diseases. Another is ignorance on the part of the medical community with regard to the range of symptoms that celiac...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,696
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Knotalota
    Newest Member
    Knotalota
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • xxnonamexx
      My journey is it gluten or fiber?

      By xxnonamexx · Posted

      I read that as well but I saw the Certified Gluten free symbol that is the reason I ourchased it.
    • cristiana
      Issues before diagnosis

      By cristiana · Posted

      I agree, it so often overlooked! I live in the UK and I have often wondered why doctors are so reluctant to at least exclude it - my thoughts are perhaps the particular tests are expensive for the NHS, so therefore saved for people with 'obvious' symptoms.  I was diagnosed in 2013 and was told immediately that my parents, sibling and children should be checked.  My parents' GP to this day has not put forward my father for testing, and my mother was never tested in her lifetime, despite the fact that they both have some interesting symptoms/family history that reflect they might have coeliac disease (Dad - extreme bloating, and his Mum clearly had autoimmune issues, albeit undiagnosed as such; Mum - osteoporosis, anxiety).  I am now my father' legal guardian and suspecting my parents may have forgotten to ask their GP for a test (which is entirely possible!) I put it to his last GP that he ought to be tested.  He looked at Dad's blood results and purely because he was not anemic said he wasn't a coeliac.  Hopefully as the awareness of Coeliac Disease spreads among the general public, people will be able to advocate for themselves.  It is hard because in the UK the NHS is very stretched, but the fallout from not being diagnosed in a timely fashion will only cost the NHS more money. Interestingly, a complete aside, I met someone recently whose son was diagnosed (I think she said he was 8).  At a recent birthday party with 8 guests, 4 boys out of the 8 had received diagnosis of Coeliac Disease, which is an astounding statistic  As far as I know, though, they had all had obvious gastric symptoms leading to their NHS diagnosis.  In my own case I had  acute onset anxiety, hypnopompic hallucinations (vivid hallucinations upon waking),  odd liver function, anxiety, headaches, ulcers and low iron but it wasn't until the gastric symptoms hit me that a GP thought to do coeliac testing, and my numbers were through the roof.  As @trents says, by the grace of God I was diagnosed, and the diet has pretty much dealt with most of those symptoms.  I have much to be grateful for. Cristiana
    • knitty kitty
      My journey is it gluten or fiber?

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @xxnonamexx, There's labeling on those Trubar gluten free high fiber protein bars that say: "Manufactured in a facility that also processes peanuts, milk, soy, fish, WHEAT, sesame, and other tree nuts." You may want to avoid products made in shared facilities.   If you are trying to add more fiber to your diet to ease constipation, considering eating more leafy green vegetables and cruciferous vegetables.  Not only are these high in fiber, they also are good sources of magnesium.  Many newly diagnosed are low in magnesium and B vitamins and suffer with constipation.  Thiamine Vitamin B1 and magnesium work together.  Thiamine in the form Benfotiamine has been shown to improve intestinal health.  Thiamine and magnesium are important to gastrointestinal health and function.  
    • trents
      Issues before diagnosis

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome to celiac.com @sha1091a! Your experience is a very common one. Celiac disease is one the most underdiagnosed and misdiagnosed medical conditions out there. The reasons are numerous. One key one is that its symptoms mimic so many other diseases. Another is ignorance on the part of the medical community with regard to the range of symptoms that celiac disease can produce. Clinicians often are only looking for classic GI symptoms and are unaware of the many other subsystems in the body that can be damaged before classic GI symptoms manifest, if ever they do. Many celiacs are of the "silent" variety and have few if any GI symptoms while all along, damage is being done to their bodies. In my case, the original symptoms were elevated liver enzymes which I endured for 13 years before I was diagnosed with celiac disease. By the grace of God my liver was not destroyed. It is common for the onset of the disease to happen 10 years before you ever get a diagnosis. Thankfully, that is slowly changing as there has developed more awareness on the part of both the medical community and the public in the past 20 years or so. Blessings!
    • knitty kitty
      Dizziness after eating green beans?

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @EndlessSummer, You said you had an allergy to trees.  People with Birch Allergy can react to green beans (in the legume family) and other vegetables, as well as some fruits.  Look into Oral Allergy Syndrome which can occur at a higher rate in Celiac Disease.   Switching to a low histamine diet for a while can give your body time to rid itself of the extra histamine the body makes with Celiac disease and histamine consumed in the diet.   Vitamin C and the eight B vitamins are needed to help the body clear histamine.   Have you been checked for nutritional deficiencies?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.