Having Guests Over

[Huggenkiss27]

We had a group of people over to watch football yesterday. They know about my wheat/gluten allergy and were told that they didn't need to bring any food or drinks and we would provide everything (Our house is 100% gluten free since I'm UBER sensitive. We've even switched our dogs/cats food and got rid of kitchen stuff that could have been contaminated when we moved into a new house). I knew there would be a 1-year old so i had gluten free crackers and puffy cracker things similar to what she eats at home only gluten free. When her mom went to give her crackers I asked if it was ok for me to get her gluten free ones instead. She looked at me like I had 8 heads!!! I just didn't want to run around scrubbing the whole house when the easy solution was just to have gluten free crackers. There was plenty of other stuff for the baby to eat as well (the mom was feeding her chips, chicken, dip, fruit, ect all that we had provided). The rest of the afternoon just felt so awkward.

Am I being too extreme in how gluten free we want the house to be? I just would like to have one place that is worry free where I can lick the walls if I want to without worrying about being sick, lol! Its to the point now that there are things that are marked "gluten free" but on shared equipment with wheat that i get the blistery rash, mouth sores, digestive issues, headaches, and everything else that goes with a glutening. I'm just feeling very socially awkward and like a freak. My boyfriend says if they don't understand (or tolerate) being gluten free in our home that we don't want or need to be friends with them anyways.

[shadowicewolf]

your house your rules. They don't like it they can leave.

[Celiac Mindwarp]

Sounds like you NEED a safe gluten-free place at home.

I don't think that's unreasonable.

Maybe these particular folks need a bit more explaination about the extent you need to be gluten-free. With my Mum of small children head I might have been a bit thrown at you request, but mostly because of sleep deprivation and hormones. It might be that she felt daft/embarrased/ awkward at having forgotten or not understood.

Maybe you could broach it with her? 'I'm sorry it was awkward, I really enjoyed having folks over, can we find a way to make sure your baby gets what they need and I stay safe' kind of thing?

I guess you'll be able to tell from the reaction if you can invite them again.

It is brilliant you are making such an effort, please don't be put off by one awkward moment

[Adalaide]

I babysit my cousin who is about 1 1/2. It is simple, he eats what I provide other than the fact that his mother brings a jug of milk for him. It is really simple. I do not want him running around while or after eating gluten touching MY STUFF! If his mother didn't like that she could find someone else who would babysit for the insanely cheap amount I do it for. I don't want gluten on my keyboard he sometimes touches when I get up to use the restroom. I don't want it on my furniture. I don't want to be paranoid about if I'm going to get sick or not every time I feed him lunch because I was making myself sick worrying before I instituted the no outside food policy.

I agree, if they don't like it, they don't have to come. My husband and I have a couple we invite over for dinner occasionally, and they bring their children. (I wouldn't ask them to find a babysitter for an autistic preschooler, I'm not evil even if I'm not a huge fan of kids.) They are extremely understanding, totally get why we can't trade off going to their house as well and frankly I think that is a relief to her. She doesn't need to be cooking for guests with kids to worry about and I love to cook for people.

You could always put a sign on your front door. "Allergen free house absolutely no outside food or drinks" and see how well that goes over. I've seen people with severe life threatening allergies do it.

[Huggenkiss27]

Thank you for all the reassurance! I've been sitting here today feeling like I was a jerk. I tried to explain why it was an issue and the possibility of contamination and I had about 6 people looking at me wide eyed and like I was crazy. The sign on the door is a great idea; I had not thought of doing that. Just like your keyboard Adalaide I was having visions of crumb covered remote controls!

[kareng]

The last 2 years, we have hosted my husband's work gathering at our house. After work, drinks, cheese & crackers, & chocolate things. All gluten-free. My hub puts on the invitation something like this: Due to food allergies in our house, please do not bring any food. Something like that. It is quite common for people to bring food to parties around here. One time, someone forgot & brought a homemade cheeseball (gluten-free because the recipe has no gluten ingredients) and a box of Triscuits (POISON!). My hub stopped her. He asked her & then I about the cheese ball. I said that was fine (I didn't try it & we put it at the edge of the table so no one would slop it). He put the Poison Triscuits aside & she took them home.

Yes I realize Celiac is not a food allergy. It just makes it easier to understand.

[Adalaide]

POISON!!! Oh gosh, every time I walk down the cracker aisle and every time I see a toddler at church all I can see in my head is those old Mr. Yuck stickers. I just picture those on the forehead of every toddler in encounter. I start to hyperventilate if toddlers get within like 3 feet of me and all I can think is GLUTEN BOMB! I'm quite sure the rest of the world would think I'm a complete freak. Little kids scare the hell out of me.

[tarnalberry]

I have no idea the details of how you handled it, but the basic idea? I think it's fine. I'm not that strict at my house, but I understand and support people who choose to be. As was said - your house, your rules. If the kid had (conflicting) allergies, I might have considered a little leeway, but otherwise, no. (And I say that as a parent of a toddler.)