The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[CarlaB]

Bev, OMGosh! ROFLMAO!! I bet you didn't want to be touched there for a week!!

Richard, did your wife nurse your children? If so, hers probably left just like mine did. I didn't used to have to have stuff like duct tape for cleavage, but after five kids (the sixth was adopted), there's nothing left! So, when Morgan teases me about my nothingness, I tell her to just wait, I used to have them, too!!

Okay, now I'm getting teased because Morgan is putting music on my Ipod, that I've had since early last summer but have no music on. Now I'm going to have to learn to use the darn thing.

Went to Maggianos for dinner tonight ... three glasses of pinot noir, that's a lot for me these days, but I was out with my in-laws. Didn't see your mojo or anyone else's Susan. Glad you found yours Richard, no one at all had any at dinner. Except for maybe my future SIL who doesn't speak English ... she speaks Portuguese, and understands my Spanish, but her accent is funny so I have to keep asking her what she's saying. Very cute, latin women definately have mojo, I could learn something.

[Mtndog]

Went to Maggianos for dinner tonight ... three glasses of pinot noir, that's a lot for me these days, but I was out with my in-laws. Didn't see your mojo or anyone else's Susan. Glad you found yours Richard, no one at all had any at dinner. Except for maybe my future SIL who doesn't speak English ... she speaks Portuguese, and understands my Spanish, but her accent is funny so I have to keep asking her what she's saying. Very cute, latin women definately have mojo, I could learn something.

OMG so true! I want to be Penelope Cruz or Selma Hayek in my next life.......they are both beautiful and full of mojo. One year for halloween my husband and I went as Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera....I made a pretty darn good Frida once I drew in the uni-brow. But I'd rather look like Penelope Cruz.....she's like a Spanish Audrey Hepburn (my other idol).

[TriticusToxicum]

Senate Designates September 13 National Celiac Disease Awareness Day

109TH CONGRESS

2D SESSION S. RES. 563

Designating September 13, 2006, as ‘‘National Celiac Disease Awareness

Day’’.

IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES

SEPTEMBER 8, 2006

Mr. INHOFE (for himself and Mr. NELSON of Nebraska) submitted the

following resolution; which was considered and agreed to

RESOLUTION

Designating September 13, 2006, as ‘‘National Celiac

Disease Awareness Day’’.

Whereas celiac disease affects 2,200,000 people in the United

States, including 1 in 133 healthy people;

Whereas celiac disease is an intolerance to gluten, a protein

found in wheat, rye, oats, and barley, as well as some

medicines and vitamins;

Whereas exposure to gluten damages the villi of the small intestine,

interfering with the absorption of nutrients in

food;

Whereas celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder and a malabsorption

disease;

Whereas celiac disease is a genetic disease, with 1 in 22 people

having a first-degree relative with celiac disease;

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2

•SRES 563 ATS

Whereas the average length of time it takes for a symptomatic

person to be diagnosed with celiac disease is 11

years;

Whereas celiac disease is often misdiagnosed and underdiagnosed

due to the fact that symptoms can be attributed

to other conditions and many doctors are not very

knowledgeable about the disease;

Whereas, according to a study, 60 percent of children and 41

percent of adults diagnosed with celiac disease were

asymptomatic;

Whereas celiac disease is diagnosed through tests measuring

the blood for abnormally high levels of the antibodies of

immunoglobulin A, anti-tissue transglutaminase, and IgA

anti-endomysium antibodies;

Whereas celiac disease is treated by following a gluten-free

diet;

Whereas damage to the small intestine leads to an increased

risk for malnutrition, anemia, lymphoma and adenocarcinoma,

osteoporosis, miscarriage and congenital malformation,

and short stature;

Whereas celiac disease is linked to many autoimmune disorders,

including thyroid disease, systemic lupus

erythematosus, type 1 diabetes, liver disease, collagen

vascular disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and Sjo¬gren’s syndrome;

Whereas the connection between celiac disease and diet was

first established by Dr. Samuel Gee, who was born on

September 13, 1839; and

Whereas the Senate is an institution that can raise awareness

in the general public and the medical community of celiac

disease: Now, therefore, be it

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•SRES 563 ATS

Resolved, That the Senate— 1

(1) designates September 13, 2006, as ‘‘Na- 2

tional Celiac Disease Awareness Day’’; 3

(2) recognizes that all people of the United 4

States should become more informed and aware of 5

celiac disease; 6

(3) calls upon the people of the United States 7

to observe the date with appropriate ceremonies and 8

activities; and 9(4) respectfully requests the Secretary of the 10

Senate to transmit a copy of this resolution to the 11

Celiac Sprue Association, the American Celiac Soci- 12

ety, the Celiac Disease Foundation, the Gluten Intol- 13

erance Group of North America, and the Oklahoma 14

Celiac Support Group. 15

®

Our tax dollars hard at work.

No wonder it takes so long for anything to get done in Washington - or should I say Whereas nothing gets done in a timely fashion, and Whereas all proper sentences begin with "and whereas", and whereas, we truly know nothing about this disease and whereas we have a fact sheet here, and whereas said fact sheet is not copyrighted and where as noone will probably take the time to read this and whereas as recess is fast approaching and whereas September 13, 2006 has been designated National Celiac Disease Awareness Day yada yada yada

And I missed the party

[Mtndog]

And I missed the party

but You ARE the party!

Is this true? Figures it's on the 13th

Found your mojo yet?

[DingoGirl]

No wonder it takes so long for anything to get done in Washington - or should I say Whereas nothing gets done in a timely fashion, and Whereas all proper sentences begin with "and whereas", and whereas, we truly know nothing about this disease and whereas we have a fact sheet here, and whereas said fact sheet is not copyrighted and where as noone will probably take the time to read this and whereas as recess is fast approaching and whereas September 13, 2006 has been designated National Celiac Disease Awareness Day yada yada yada

And I missed the party

ha ha ha ha HA!!!!!!!!!!! whereas I will say HA again! I was reading the whole thing, thinking, I must come up with some clever adn silly paragraph using WHEREAS as many times as I can....and there's my goofball Richard, who's already, whereas, done it. Thank you, whereas, very much. Because I am TOO tired to do it.

[Mtndog]

Whereas susieQ is too tired to add the whereas to the writing within; whereas, Beverly is a writing instructor of very little renown; whereas Richard has lost his mojo; whereas Beverly and SusieQ have as well; whereas we are are all brain-fried; whereas Donna is out looking for them; whereas she is on a carribean cruise; whereas I am tired of writing; whereas, I'll bid you all adieu!

[DingoGirl]

Whereas susieQ is too tired to add the whereas to the writing within; whereas, Beverly is a writing instructor of very little renown; whereas Richard has lost his mojo; whereas Beverly and SusieQ have as well; whereas we are are all brain-fried; whereas Donna is out looking for them; whereas she is on a carribean cruise; whereas I am tired of writing; whereas, I'll bid you all adieu!

WHEREAS you are CRACKing me UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

A writing teacher of little renown. hah. P-SHAW!!!! Just look at all the WHEREAS's you used in that paragraph!!! Just like the senators!

Donna will find our mojos on her island cruise. I am sure of it.

Whereas and henceforth, I am off to bed. Again. Checkign on the fake boobs - NOT KIDDING - that I'm bidding on on ebay. uh huh, that's right, the Victoria's Secret thingies that go in the bra. ha ha ha ha ha ha

[Mtndog]

Whereas Santa Claus being the gift giver of the holidays;

whereas Miss Susie has asked for false breasts;

whereas she believes her owb chest too flat;

whereas it IS aalmost THAT time of year;

whereas we may be breaking soon for the holidays;

wheras the motion has been granted;

Henceforth, Susie, by order of the Congress of Mountain Dogs,

may stuff her bra beginning this day;

until said santa claus brings her the boobs of her dreams;

on the 29th of November, in the year of our Lord 2006.

[dlp252]

Donna will find our mojos on her island cruise. I am sure of it.

Maybe not....I've got the whereas nightmare thing happening...whereas I work for attorneys who write that kind of stuff day in and day out...we even have a certain "style" of writing the whereases...

[TriticusToxicum]

:

Whereas and henceforth, I am off to bed. Again. Checkign on the fake boobs - NOT KIDDING - that I'm bidding on on ebay. uh huh, that's right, the Victoria's Secret thingies that go in the bra. ha ha ha ha ha ha

Is there anything you can't get on ebay?

OMG, on a whim I searched ebay for..."boobs" and look all the boobs that are for sale! (my picture didn't come up once )

Something for everyone Open Original Shared Link

[Jestgar]

OK, Why anyone would want to look like that on purpose is beyond me.

[TriticusToxicum]

OK, Why anyone would want to look like that on purpose is beyond me.

Yes, especially the boobs for men

[DingoGirl]

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd BEV you are killing me!!!!! Whereas I crown you today and henceforth the funniest writer of boob prose.

So I didn't win my boobs on ebay, but thanks Richard, wow, so many NEW and exciting options for me! Even D cups!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and SO natural looking, too!

thanks for the morning laugh. BTW Bev, that is the CUTEST picture.

[Mtndog]

This is what I'm getting my long lost brother Richard for Christmas:

Open Original Shared Link

[TriticusToxicum]

This is what I'm getting my long lost brother Richard for Christmas:

Open Original Shared Link

I'm afraid I might not get any work done (or even less than I do now ) with that on my desk

I hate to ruin the surprise, but I found Open Original Shared Link for you Bev. I know how hard you took it when you found yours amongst mom's cleaning rags. How brave of you to continue wearing it even after it was so abused. I think you'll really like this one. It's only slightly worn (most of the stains came out ) and you can hardly smell the previous owner . Sorry I couldn't find the Gene Simmons mask you really wanted. Maybe next year.

[Mtndog]

Maybe Open Original Shared Link

would be better. It looks like how I feel today!

[TriticusToxicum]

Maybe Open Original Shared Link

would be better. It looks like how I feel today!

Awww sorry, how about Open Original Shared Link?

[Mtndog]

Exactly what I need! Thank you!

I likeOpen Original Shared Link

I think they should apply to all of us too! Especially, if it was yours, get over it!

[TriticusToxicum]

Exactly what I need! Thank you!

I likeOpen Original Shared Link

I think they should apply to all of us too! Especially, if it was yours, get over it!

I still think think "vintage" T Open Original Shared Link is what you're getting.

[Mtndog]

Dude- That ROCKS! But check out Open Original Shared Link.

It was made for me! God- I first saw ACDC in 1982. My first concert ever! Many fond memories!

[TriticusToxicum]

Dude- That ROCKS! But check out Open Original Shared Link.

It was made for me! God- I first saw ACDC in 1982. My first concert ever! Many fond memories!

She SCARES me!

[DingoGirl]

OMG......exactly what I was thinking, SHE IS SCARY!!!!!!!!!

You guys are making me laugh, in spite of myself. I esp. like the UGLY doll.

Um, was that mouse pad 3D? cause wouldn't that be kind of difficult?

[TriticusToxicum]

OMG......exactly what I was thinking, SHE IS SCARY!!!!!!!!!

You guys are making me laugh, in spite of myself. I esp. like the UGLY doll.

Um, was that mouse pad 3D? cause wouldn't that be kind of difficult?

Do you mean DDD? or 3 dimensional? See for yourself. I'd get fired just for using my mouse!

[DingoGirl]

OMG, it IS three-D (and no I did not mean DDD) that is crazy......absurd.......

I am not even awake enough to be clever, yet. And must go to work today, where they work hard at suppressing my personality. But when they are in the back, I am rather funny with people.

[TriticusToxicum]

OMG, it IS three-D (and no I did not mean DDD) that is crazy......absurd.......

I am not even awake enough to be clever, yet. And must go to work today, where they work hard at suppressing my personality. But when they are in the back, I am rather funny with people.

Don't feel left out, I got you something too. If you don't want to be surprised on Chrstmas morning then peek Open Original Shared Link.

Will the Stepford neighbors be jealous?

But when they are in the back, I am rather funny with people.

YOU? FUNNY?! Now there is a stretch!

Carla, I see you here too. I have something for you too. I was going to get you a sauna, but I see you already have one. So I got the next best thing - the latest in Open Original Shared Link. Be the first in your neighborhood to be seen in these cozy togs. Jogging suits are sooooo last week!