Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease? - list blood tests, endo with biopsy, genetic test and enterolab (not diagnostic) Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes Where can I buy gluten-free stuff? Support this site by shopping at The Celiac.com Store.

What To Do When People Dont Listen?
0

8 posts in this topic

What do you do when people insist that you eat, when they cant *really* verify they made is gluten-free, but they insist that it *is* gluten free. For example, I have a very motherly mom, and she could not verify that the spices she used to make yesterday's meal were gluten free, but she was absolutely stubborn and self-confident that they were gluten-free. I know that they were not, because I have been feeling extreme fatigue (my one and only celiac symptom) since eating her food yesterday.

How do you deal with this from the social point of view? Some people cannot accept that this is a *strict* diet and they think its better to gluten us rather than face facts! They don't want to accept they made have made a mistake as a host!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Likely if they were plain spices, they were gluten-free. If they were a packaged mix, like a chili seasoning, they might not be gluten-free. The problem with her even slicing you an apple, is that her kitchen stuff is cc'ed. The cutting board she cuts the apple on - she cut bread on this morning. Her colander that she washed the strawberries in is also used to drain pasta. She had the pot of gluten-free beef stew simmering on the stove while she mixed flour to make biscuits, next to the pot.

My mom absolutely does not listen to anything anyone says 80% of the time. I have tried to explain why I won't eat at some place or don't want her potato salad (but the ingredients are gluten-free!) many times. She doesn't remember or "remembers" that I said I can have eggs & potatoes. With her this applies to everything. She could ask my son about his football game, and the next day ask me the same question or tell me what she wanted to hear. Its not Alzheimer's its just she is not paying attention. I try to distance myself from anything having to do with food with her.

So: other people are not responsible for your health and special diet. Inform your mom, firmly, that you will bring all the food or your own food, or some combination of that. You go to a party, eat ahead or bring a dish that's filling that you can eat. I like to bring twice baked potatoes. I either grab the first ones out of the pan or bring a separate dish with mine in it. Its filling and not too unfriendly.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't eat the food. Period. It's not my fault if they choose to feel upset over it; they make that decision all on their own. I will say something like "No thanks, I'm going to pass." No room for questions, no room for debate - simply your choice to not eat the food. (Though it's usually nice to add something like "I do really appreciate the thought, though. It looks lovely.")

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i just don't eat over sparing their feelings (moms included). moms generally want the best for you but if they don't fully understand the disease they don't *know* what the best is for you. so you just gotta be tough and more insistent then they are. EVENTUALLY they'll get it. :) oh and give them information overload.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeap, they either get it or they don't. I've tried to explain to family that I can't have even a single crumb of bread to touch my food, and then they'll serve lunch and put the gluten free bread and the "regular" bread in the same dang basket! And stick the crumb filled butter dish in front of me and then ask why I'm not eating.

hmph...

So, you take your own food, and say you don't want to seem rude or ungrateful, but you really enjoy their company, and so that you can stay a bit longer to chat, you brought your own so you're not distracted by pains in your gut. ;)

When I go to my sister's house, I try not to touch anything. At all! I'm even scared sometimes to have a cup of tea!

Maybe eventually they'll get it.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is a challenge to live in a different food world than most people around us. I have a dear neighbor that we always had lots of meals with. She usually invited us because she doesn't go out much. Once I couldn't eat what she cooked it took the fun out of it for her so we were invited less and less. We took food over for the dinners a lot but that didn't fill her need to feed. I hate that it turned out that way but I'm ever so grateful to be gluten free and feeling like a new person physically. I recently had a biopsy that showed no sign of disease! yeah! I've been doing this since Dec. 08 and it is working. Don't give up it is so worth it.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are people you just can't make understand. Either do not eat at their house or bring your own food. You choice is to hurt their feelings or hurt yourself. They will get over their hurt feelings without a health risk. You might not.

I do go to family/friends houses for dinners. I just do not eat their food. I bring some gluten-free food (i.e. casserole) and/or dessert. I share with them, eat my food and have a nice social time without an unhealthy risk. Everyone I know knows I will not eat their food. It's a rule. They have learned to accept this.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it is difficult for others to understand because they don't have the physical ramifications of this that we do. I don't know how understanding I would be it I didn't have this. My friends and relatives accept me bringing my own food at least. However, like many others, I get invited to meals and to go out to eat less and less.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      102,674
    • Total Posts
      914,381
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Itchy skin
      Cool compresses may help a bit. Hot baths or showers used to really aggravate my itchy skin so go with warm or cool ones to see if it helps. Keep well hydrated both inside and out. Be sure to check and make sure any lotions you use are gluten free. Shea butter, olive or coconut oil may help. Since you say this is not DH, no blisters etc. I would not advise Dapsone. It is quite a toxic med but if you do talk to your doctor about it make sure that they do blood work before prescribing and frequently during the time you are on it.  Some celiacs have liver impact and Dapsone can be damaging to the liver. I also had both DH and the all over itchies. Being strictly gluten free and avoiding obvious sources of iodine like iodized salt or iodine in supplements will help you heal. I hope you get some relief soon.
    • Where do I start??
      I will be going for my endoscopy on Februry 19. The other day in reading about Celiacs, I read about the strange rashes often associated with celieacs and gluten intolerrance. About six months ago, a rash exactly as you describe showed up on the backs of my knees. The doctor didn't know what it was, hought maybe it was ringworm, and gave me some topical medicine, and the spots did go away with time. However, I've had the same type of spots show up in other places occassionally. I know for a fact they were not ringworm.
    • Advice on reintroducing dairy.
      I can!   Start with hard cheeses, then yogurt/butter, soft cheeses and finally milk/cream.  Start slowly and build.  Give yourself time to get your body to release the enzymes necessary to digest lactose.  Certified gluten-free enzymes for lactose can help the transition.  Lactose free milk and ice cream are helpful too.  Remember, that genetically some of us are predisposed to being lactose intolerant no matter what (e.g. aging, race).   I wish you success!      
    • Gluten free diet, positive celiac screen...what should I eat now?
      Here is a link that explains why you should get tested (completely) for celiac disease: https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/diagnosing-celiac-disease/diagnosis/ As far as the link to the functional doctor....why?  If you get a celiac diagnosis, chances are you will heal on a gluten free diet.  As you have probably seen on this forum, most of us encourage newly diagnosed members to eat a whole-foods, easy-to-digest (a.k.a "cooked to death")  gluten-free diet to speed healing.  Going Paleo might not be the best right now, if you have celiac disease.  Eating lots of nuts, raw fruits and veggies can be tough on a damaged gut.  You can try that diet later!   Everyone is different due to various degrees of damage, so some may have temporary intolerances  (e.g. lactose).  You just have to experiment.   Save your money and spend it on good wholesome food.  I heartily support getting away from the SAD (Standard American Diet).   Celiac disease is the one autoimmune disorder that is healed by avoiding a food -- gluten!  
    • Itchy skin
      I have DH and itchy skin is a symptom.     Your Dermatologist could write a script for Dapsone, provided you're not allergic to Sulphur.     Expect blood labs to go with using Dapsone.      You need to study everything that goes in your mouth for possible gluten content, including all meds.
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      59,700
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    Valou
    Joined