Feeling Sorry For Myself...

[Basha]

I have been recently diagnosised.

I have been managing very well until last night. I am a teacher and this week we have Teacher's Convention where we take classes and learn new things. I get to go into the city, have fun, learn and enjoy myself.

I have managed well with staff meetings et al, but last night, I was informed that we were going out for lunch (to a restaurant I do not know, and haven't researched). In the past, this would not have presented a problem, as I would say, "Great, let's go!!" But last night, I had a "WAHHHHH.... Oh crap!..... and why me?" moment because of my need to be gluten-free. Tears were rolling down my face, because of my frustration and self pity session.

Here I am wanting to be apart of the group and to interact with my friends and staff, but because I don't know the restaurant and the possibilities (Greek food), all these emotions piled on (fear, worry, sadness etc.).

I know I am in a better place (I feel better), but it was a deep realization that my life is forever altered and things will not be so easy anymore.

Thanks for letting me rant and share... Right now, I am off to yoga, but will sign in later tonight to see what all of you have to say. I know all of you have been there, or are still experiencing this, so thanks for your ears/eyes! Thanks for being here!

[Canadian Karen]

Hi Basha! Nice to see another fellow Canadian!

I so understand where you are at right now. It can really get to you sometimes, especially when there is a "special occasion" where you used to be able to partake without a second thought, and now it seems that our diet runs our lives. It does get easier as time goes on, and I take comfort in the fact that dietary restrictions are becoming far more commonplace than it used to be and I don't feel like I "stick out like a sore thumb" like I used to before.....

Usually, when I go to a restaurant that I can't inquire about ahead of time, I just make sure I take a container of my favourite salad dressing, and when I get there, I just order a garden salad. I make sure I fill up my tummy before I go just to make sure I won't be tempted. That way, technically I am still partaking in the meal (somewhat), but moreso, I am still there to partake in the social aspect and have a good time! You don't even have to get into any detail if you don't want to, if anyone does ask, just say that you are on a diet, without elaborating..... Although, to be honest with you, I usually use that opportunity to explain celiac disease in detail and educate as many people as possible......

Again, welcome to the board! There's lots of supportive people here for you.......

Karen

[silly-yak-mum]

Hi Basha,

Congratulations on being gluten free - glad to hear you're feeling better.

My son (10) has been gluten free for 2 years. (He'll proudly tell you that Feb is his anniversary!) Most times he handles the disease better than I do but sometimes he just has to feel bad. I think the grief is necessary and then you brush it off and move on.

Daniel also has a learning disability. And sometimes when he's feeling frustrated we make a list of things he's grateful for. Usually, when we go to Sick Kids for his follow ups we see many children that remind him how lucky he is. For example, he thinks Celiac is easier to manage than Diabetes - no sugar - the torture!

But then - other times - he reminds me, he just has to feel bad. (Not unlike the night I cried over McD's french fries.)

Karen's advice is really good. If you know the name of the restaurant - call ahead - I've found most places will help find something - grilled chicken and salad, etc.

Good luck and here's to a better tomorrow.

[tarnalberry]

ditto the advice - if you can't call ahead, head before hand and have something small and safe (even if it's only a glass of water). yeah, it's an inconvenience at the best of times, and a horribly PITA other times. but there's not really anything we can do to change it.

[Guest nini]

it's really ok to have pity parties over this diet. I've done it myself on more than one occassion. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} and welcome

[kevsmom]

Welcome Basha - Some days are better than others, and some days are just downright bad. We have all been there, and it makes it a little easier knowing that there are many shoulders here to lean on.

I spend hours on this site every day, and have learned so much. There are some very knowledgeable people who post, and can help you find the answer to almost any problem or question you might have. Sometimes I feel very lonely having Celiac. It is really good to have the help of so many others who are going through this.

There are some "real food" products that you can eat. If you read some of the postings, you can find mainstream foods listed that you can buy in the food store. That does make it a little easier. Be careful though, because some of the things that are safe in the US are not safe in Canada.

Please feel free to spend some time with us. Hopefully we can provide you with some of the support that you need.

Cindy

[Guest Viola]

The above advice is all good, I just wanted to say welcome ... we all have been there and still are on occasion. It does get better, Hang in there

[mouse]

Like Shirley said we have all been there. My quote down below says "Throw yourself a pity party and you will be the only guest". Well, there are times that I AM THE ONLY GUEST. Hang in there because it gets so much easier.

[silly-yak-mum]

I had to come back because my son had better advice.

"Tell her to have ice cream."

[Guest Viola]

I had to come back because my son had better advice.

"Tell her to have ice cream."

That's the best advice yet You can even have it at the restaurant if they have Bryers or something else that's gluten free

[lonewolf]

It's really okay to have those times of feeling sorry for yourself, as long as you take a deep breath and move on after a while. I've been on a restricted diet for 10 years and I still get hit with waves of self-pity once in a while. Earlier this evening we were at my sister in law's house for dinner (most of which I couldn't eat) and she asked me to get the ice cream out for her. My son and I are allergic to milk, and she even had Rice Dream for us, so I thought it would be fine, but when I grabbed the carton and saw "Cherry Chunk" I started to choke up. Then I got out the Rice Dream she had bought me and realized it wasn't gluten-free, so I couldn't have any. It took a few deep breaths to not start to lose it. I felt quite a bit of self pity for a little bit, and all over a meal and ice cream. It was a nice party too, but sometimes it would be so nice to just be able to eat what everyone else does and not have to explain for the thousandth time why I'm not eating something that everyone else thinks should be safe for me.

Okay, I guess I've vented too, now I feel all the way better. Hope you're doing better too.

[skoki-mom]

Ahhh, I feel your pain. Went out after work a couple weeks ago with the girls for beer and nachos. Needless to say, I had a Coke and nothing to eat. I think a couple of girls felt like I should have chipped in on the bill.......uh, I don't think so. I'm sure not going to pay for food I didn't eat!! Nachos are probably ok, but in a pub, I was just too concerned about CC. It was nice to visit, but it kinda sucked not being able to eat. This is likely one of the worst things about celiac disease, the social situations. Crying helps, it is purgative and helps release tension.

FWIW, I am taking my kids to Edmonton tomorrow for 2 days (teacher's convention and all ), wondering what the heck I am going to eat at West Ed for 48 hours, but I'll come up with something. There is always Purdy's!!!

I was just now wondering about Greek salad??? I'm not big on Greek salad myself, but it might be an option because isn't the dressing just oil and vinegar???

[Rusla]

Welcome Basha to the board and from another of the Canadian contingent.

If I can't call ahead to a restaurant then when I get there I grill them like a salmon on what they have that is gluten/wheat free. If all they have is oil and vinegar for a salad I ask if they have Balsamic vinegar.

Have you joined the Celiac Association yet? You get a really good little book to carry with you and a card. They also give you a heaping binder full of information. I got glutened by accident the other day because a friend and I had nachos and they swore to me at the restuarant that there was no wheat or gluten in anything but they put a spice on the nachos and that was enough for my dh to break out and me to have raging stomach aches.

Many people are shy to ask but I am not in restaurants, this is my health on the line. I figure if enough of us come out and ask in restuarants and apply some pressure then eventually we may get every restaurant to have gluten-free food on their menu.

Believe me Basha, this board is a great place to be. The support, people and wealth of information information here are unbeatable.

[Lollie]

Welcome Basha! I've been gluten-free for only a little while. I understand the greiving, as so many here have already stated. I hold on to that in time it will get easier. I cry all the time....almost litterally. I chalk it up to being sensitive in general, but I think its good to let it out. I hardly eat out because I worry over what to eat, and have for 10 years, even before I found out about gluten. I always just have a little something and a glass of wine. That seems to help alot

Anyway, welcome! You've come to the right place for advice and support!

-Lollie

[Guest BERNESES]

Welcome Basha! You've come to a very good place. Sometimes the diet is really hard and almost EVERYONE here will tell you that it's OK to feel sorry for yourself sometimes. We all do. The good thing is, with the great people on this board you won't feel lonely (or bored ) for very long!

[Basha]

THANK YOU... THANK YOU.... THANK YOU!!!!!!! All of your comments and thoughts have made me feel much better. And I'm so glad to hear that I am not the only one who has expended a few salty drips down my face!!! It was a cry of frustration and self-pity, but it was a good release. And all of your words have helped me not feel so isolated and alone in this situation. I laughed and I smiled when I read what all of you wrote. I am so thankful for all of you who have commented and sent your care my way. Thank you again.

Since being diagnosised, I have had two good cries... The first time I had a good cry about being gluten-free, was when I emptied my pantry/cupboards after I found out I had celiac. And here I thought, before I emptied the cupboards that I didn't eat much gluten!!! I was surprised at the amount of food I had that had gluten in it. It was then and there that it truly hit me that my way of preparing and consuming the edibles was forever changed. I've always enjoyed food, and at times, perhaps too much!! So, the first cry was one of "Oh, my... this is huge!!! Nothing is going to be the same!"

The second cry is the one I mentioned as I opened this topic. I think this cry was about my sense of feeling isolated and different. Yet the funy thing is, I like being different in my life... but being different in my food from others is hard. Our society is so based on food... our get togethers, our meetings, our celebrations... Food is constantly used in our relations with others. Have you noticed this?! And the most common, easily made/purchased food is food loaded with gluten. And so, as a Celiac, I am faced with the tricky situation of wanting to be with others and to do the things they are doing, but there is a huge obstacle called food and will it make me sick.

So, thank you again for letting me write and share. It is greatly appreaciated. I am so thankful for all of you out there.