Sharing a kitchen…

[Ashraq]

My head is spinning, especially in regards to cross contamination. It’s only been a few days of trying to share a kitchen with my husband/son and we’re all feeling frustrated. How many of you have been able to safely and happily coexist? Any suggestions? My husband offered to have a gluten free kitchen, but I wanted to try sharing. It’s feeling impossible though. Thanks! 

[trents]

Welcome to the forum, Ashraq! Have you been diagnosed with celiac disease or NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity)?

Bound up in your question is how sensitive you are to very small amounts of gluten. Our celiac community is all over the map in that regard. And it may take you a while to get a handle on that for yourself. So, what works for one family will not work for another. I mean, we have people who participate on this forum who cannot even allow themselves skin contact with wheat flour, or breath the air in a kitchen where gluten flour is being used for baking.

If you are a super sensitive celiac I would definitely take your husband up on his offer to have gluten free house. That would simplify things greatly for all of you but also be very limiting for others in the house and the kids might resent it.

Even if you are not particularly sensitive, your family must come up with a strategy to keep your food and separate from theirs if you want to coexist safely with wheaters. You must be careful to avoid cutting and handling your food with their utensils. Definitely use a different toaster than the rest of the family and make sure all cookware and utensils are thoroughly washed before putting away. Be prepared to get "glutened" at lease occasionally, as mistakes will be made.

I have been diagnosed with celiac disease for over 20 years but my wife is not one. We manage pretty well. She makes wheat things occasionally and is very good about protecting me. But, practically speaking over time, she has become semi gluten free simply because she cooks for both of us. She labels things that are not gluten free when she makes them to protect me or at least makes sure I know when something is not so that when it is put in the frig I don't mistakenly eat it. If you have kids at home, this will be more of a challenge because they may not be as careful as the adults or they will accidentally eat the gluten free thing you made for yourself.

Hope this helps.

By the way, if you have celiac disease you definitely should get your kids (and your parents and siblings) tested, even if they are asymptomatic. Recent studies show that essentially half of the first degree relatives of those who have celiac disease will have it themselves or will get it, and half of those tested positive even though they were asymptomatic.

Edited December 8, 2022 by trents

[Ashraq]

Thank you very much for the informative response! There’s so much to learn and figure out. I was just diagnosed with celiac disease. I appreciate the note about my son and will be be getting him tested ASAP. 
 

Follow up question, how do you go about figuring out your sensitivity? Follow up blood tests? Continued symptoms? 

[Scott Adams]

This is always a tough question, and there is no easy answer. On one hand you don't want those who are not on gluten-free diets to be forced to also make huge lifestyle changes, but on the other hand you also don't want to get sick. I happen to co-exist in a mixed gluten/gluten-free household, and the only way I'm able to do this is because my wife has excellent knowledge about how to keep my daughter and I safe from the regular gluten foods that she eats. So it is possible, but will require some learning and extra work on their part.

This article may be helpful for them to read and understand, and be sure to get your son tested as well, as up to 44% of direct relatives also have celiac disease, but many have no symptoms:

 

[RMJ]

I am quite sensitive but share a kitchen.

My husband and I have separate food prep areas.

We have separate dishes because we don’t have a dishwasher and when my husband washes dishes I can see residue on them. If we had a dishwasher I’d share dishes.  

We have separate shelves in cupboards, refrigerator and freezer. Mine are above his so nothing can spill from his onto mine.

If my husband wants food/leftovers/condiments of mine, he can have it but must use one of my utensils to serve himself and not touch the utensil to his plate.

My husband no longer eats anything in the bed/bedroom due to risk of crumbs.

I often make gluten free meals for both of us.

It has become second nature after a few years.

[trents]

@Ashraq, keep in mind that celiac disease can onset at any stage of life. So, first degree relatives ideally should be tested on a regular basis. You want to catch it if at all possible before it has been smoldering under the surface and has done unnecessary damage to body systems. This is particularly true since so many are silent and don't exhibit symptoms until much damage has been done to the small bowel villi.

Degree of sensitivity is learned primarily by experience. Follow-up blood tests are helpful in getting a gauge on how successful you are being at eating gluten free. It typically takes about two years for thorough healing of the gut once going gluten free. The article Scott attached is a great resource. Studies show that most people who believe they are eating gluten free really aren't. They are actually eating lower gluten. Eating out is the biggest challenge and threat since you can order stuff you assume is gluten free by the nature of what it is but you have no control over cross contamination back in the eatery's kitchen.

Edited December 8, 2022 by trents

[Ashraq]

2 hours ago, Scott Adams said:

This is always a tough question, and there is no easy answer. On one hand you don't want those who are not on gluten-free diets to be forced to also make huge lifestyle changes, but on the other hand you also don't want to get sick. I happen to co-exist in a mixed gluten/gluten-free household, and the only way I'm able to do this is because my wife has excellent knowledge about how to keep my daughter and I safe from the regular gluten foods that she eats. So it is possible, but will require some learning and extra work on their part.

This article may be helpful for them to read and understand, and be sure to get your son tested as well, as up to 44% of direct relatives also have celiac disease, but many have no symptoms:

 

Thank you so much for the link and information! 

1 hour ago, trents said:

@Ashraq, keep in mind that celiac disease can onset at any stage of life. So, first degree relatives ideally should be tested on a regular basis. You want to catch it if at all possible before it has been smoldering under the surface and has done unnecessary damage to body systems. This is particularly true since so many are silent and don't exhibit symptoms until much damage has been done to the small bowel villi.

Degree of sensitivity is learned primarily by experience. Follow-up blood tests are helpful in getting a gauge on how successful you are being at eating gluten free. It typically takes about two years for thorough healing of the gut once going gluten free. The article Scott attached is a great resource. Studies show that most people who believe they are eating gluten free really aren't. They are actually eating lower gluten. Eating out is the biggest challenge and threat since you can order stuff you assume is gluten free by the nature of what it is but you have no control over cross contamination back in the eatery's kitchen.

That’s very helpful, thank you! 

[Ashraq]

1 hour ago, RMJ said:

I am quite sensitive but share a kitchen.

My husband and I have separate food prep areas.

We have separate dishes because we don’t have a dishwasher and when my husband washes dishes I can see residue on them. If we had a dishwasher I’d share dishes.  

We have separate shelves in cupboards, refrigerator and freezer. Mine are above his so nothing can spill from his onto mine.

If my husband wants food/leftovers/condiments of mine, he can have it but must use one of my utensils to serve himself and not touch the utensil to his plate.

My husband no longer eats anything in the bed/bedroom due to risk of crumbs.

I often make gluten free meals for both of us.

It has become second nature after a few years.

I appreciate you sharing. It’s nice to hear that some have made it work. 

[LCAnacortes]

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I have not been officially diagnosed.  I went gluten free in April and then figured out a few months later that dairy is also a problem for me.  I am pretty sensitive to gluten.  My husband and I ended up splitting up the sink area - to the left is gluten free and to the right is contaminated. We have a dishwasher so we share dishes.  But be sure that you have gluten free designated condiments and other items. Anything where a knife could have touched bread and then touched the product is dangerous.  For me it was relish, butter, mayonaise, jelly, peanut butter, etc. And you can't use the toaster if it has had grain products.  There are a lot of nuances to learn.  Our household is pretty good now - but I just got glutened the other day but it doesn't happen as often now. Good luck on your journey.  You have lots of friends in the same boat so feel free to ask questions.  The moderators here are smart, wise people and happy to help.

[Wheatwacked]

Take him up on the offer. Teach your chlidren well. Most of our food preferences are culturally based and healthwise our culture isn't doing so well.

Edited December 9, 2022 by Wheatwacked

[yuluyouyue]

On 12/7/2022 at 10:02 PM, Ashraq said:

My head is spinning, especially in regards to cross contamination. It’s only been a few days of trying to share a kitchen with my husband/son and we’re all feeling frustrated. How many of you have been able to safely and happily coexist? Any suggestions? My husband offered to have a gluten free kitchen, but I wanted to try sharing. It’s feeling impossible though. Thanks! 

I must say I don't really get the need for a shared kitchen and I would not be comfortable using one. Even if I would get used to it, I think it's unnecessary additional worry, caution and effort. But of course, it all depends on what food a family is used to eating. After my diagnosis, the only thing that changed for everyone is bread (now made gluten free in a bread maker), pasta (now substitute) and a spices (less variety). The rest is all meat vegetables eggs dairy and all other normal food. These adjustments were not too big for my family to make. Of course they eat gluten food out and sometimes also bring such food inside but then care is taken for clean up. We are also fortunate to have some excellent gluten free cake and cookies bakeries in the area. Of course, they are more expensive so we buy them on special occassions. Otherwise there is chocolate and other processed snacks. The way I see it, and I might be wrong, it is about accumulation. If I use a kitchen where gluten is prepared, I might be getting small doses of gluten daily. But if my kitchen is totally gluten free, I can sometimes eat out and 'save' possible cc for when I am not able to eat at home. At the same time, seeing so many people use a kitchen with gluten food, makes me optimistic that it is not mission impossible to live surrounded by gluten as many seem to have been doing it for years. And people get used to everything so it might not be an extra effort after a while. But for now I am happy with gluten free kitchen. 

[Flash1970]

On 12/7/2022 at 4:15 PM, RMJ said:

I am quite sensitive but share a kitchen.

My husband and I have separate food prep areas.

We have separate dishes because we don’t have a dishwasher and when my husband washes dishes I can see residue on them. If we had a dishwasher I’d share dishes.  

We have separate shelves in cupboards, refrigerator and freezer. Mine are above his so nothing can spill from his onto mine.

If my husband wants food/leftovers/condiments of mine, he can have it but must use one of my utensils to serve himself and not touch the utensil to his plate.

My husband no longer eats anything in the bed/bedroom due to risk of crumbs.

I often make gluten free meals for both of us.

It has become second nature after a few years.

I also have separate areas for  food preparation. I have no support from my husband.  Any jars I use are labeled in black letters to not use.  I usually wash anything he has washed again.  He usually has some frozen dinner.  I tried cooking gluten free for him,  but he wouldn't eat it.  I clean a lot.  We also have separate cupboards and shelves in the fridge. 

The problem with this disease is it has no outward symptoms. If I'm sick and having diarrhea I don't broadcast it.  With a peanut or fish allergy,  people know.  Sometimes,  I think other people think you're faking. They have no idea how much you suffer.