I'm A Newbie

[JoBeth14]

My mom had an episode yesterday. She started having a panic attack because her head felt funny. She was very dizzy. she couldn't even walk i didnt know what to do can anyone help me help her, she is very depressed now every time i eat somthing she cant have she says i cant eat that in a mean way i donno wat to say!

[CarlaB]

JoBeth, I am guessing you are 14 by your name? I have kids, both older and younger than you. Your mom is going through a tough time and doesn't mean to hurt you. It's a hard illness to deal with. It's good for you to be understanding. You should not have to feel bad for eating around her, but if it's making her feel bad, maybe until she's doing better you should try to be a little discreet about what you eat in front of her. It's not fair, I know. Depression can be part of this disease. I take herbs for it myself.

There's nothing you can do for her depression and panic attacks. Do you have a Dad in the home you can talk to about that? Is she seeing a doctor? I know that sometimes it's the children in the house that see things the most clearly, but sometimes the adults don't take kids' comments seriously. For that reason, I would recommend going to another adult (father, grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc.) and telling them the problem so that they can talk to your mom about it. You should also tell her how you feel.

Try to be there for her, but know that it's not your fault, even those times she makes you think it is. I get dizzy, too, and it can be scary. Sometime when she's feeling good and is not upset, you should talk to her about what you should do when that happens. My husband and I had to talk about the same thing. It's important to have that figured out so that when it happens and you're both scared, you don't have to make the decisions then. Does she want you to call an ambulance? Is there another adult you can call when it happens? You need to know these things.

I'm glad you've posted here for help. There are a lot of people who will have good advice for you.

[Lisa]

Brain fog and anxiety is a very natural thing that comes with Celiac Disease.

The best thing for You to do is to read eveything that you can possibly do on this site to learn about this Disease.

It may be possible that you mother may need a mild anti-depresant to relax her a little.

The diet is fairly strick, but not unenjoyable.

If you need help with foods that are exceptable, please post that and someone will be more than glad to help you.

Lisa

[Ursa Major]

JoBeth, for you to come here to ask for advice is a very caring thing to do, your mom should be proud of you.

I get very dizzy at times, so bad that I have to stay in bed for up to two or three days (in fact, I was in bed all day yesterday and part of the day today for that very reason). It is unfortunately a part of my celiac disease, but I don't panic when it happens. I just lie down and hope it will go away soon, because I know nothing else can be done.

When it happens, just try to calm her down, help her lie down and look after her. But I agree with Carla, you need to talk about it when she is feeling okay, so neither one of you panics when it happens again.

Maybe your mom needs to make sure she has nice things to eat, so she doesn't get upset when you eat your foods? Why don't you see if the two of you can't go shopping together for some special foods you can share, that are gluten free? That could be fun.

The advice to talk to another adult about what is happening is also good. Maybe your mother needs somebody to talk to as well, maybe try going to counseling, it can be very helpful when feeling helpless in the face of difficult times.

Obviously, none of this is your fault, and you don't need to feel guilty for being able to eat things your mother can't. But I agree that you might try to eat them where she can't see you until she is feeling better.

[SurreyGirl]

... very depressed...

Hi JB, please look into a good magnesium supplement: magnesium deficiency can be linked to depression and with celiac affecting absorption of various nutrients, magnesium is also affected.

Open Original Shared Link

[JoBeth14]

JoBeth, for you to come here to ask for advice is a very caring thing to do, your mom should be proud of you.

I get very dizzy at times, so bad that I have to stay in bed for up to two or three days (in fact, I was in bed all day yesterday and part of the day today for that very reason). It is unfortunately a part of my celiac disease, but I don't panic when it happens. I just lie down and hope it will go away soon, because I know nothing else can be done.

When it happens, just try to calm her down, help her lie down and look after her. But I agree with Carla, you need to talk about it when she is feeling okay, so neither one of you panics when it happens again.

Maybe your mom needs to make sure she has nice things to eat, so she doesn't get upset when you eat your foods? Why don't you see if the two of you can't go shopping together for some special foods you can share, that are gluten free? That could be fun.

The advice to talk to another adult about what is happening is also good. Maybe your mother needs somebody to talk to as well, maybe try going to counseling, it can be very helpful when feeling helpless in the face of difficult times.

Obviously, none of this is your fault, and you don't need to feel guilty for being able to eat things your mother can't. But I agree that you might try to eat them where she can't see you until she is feeling better.

[kabowman]

JoBeth - ditto to everyone here.

I know when I discovered my problems and was having a difficult time adjusting, my oldest, 13 at the time, helped me read labels on everything I was buying for myself. He caught stuff that I bought for me that I shouldn't have been eating. He was a big help...he didn't shop with me often but helped me out at home. Sometimes he went to check while we were shopping and that made me feel better too.

Of course, once he would find something bad in something I was looking forward to, I was sad but glad for the help.

You really need to try to chat with her when she isn't feeling "so" depressed, if you can...if not, you need to tell someone else so they can talk to her - discretely if you don't want her to know you didn't feel confortable chatting with her yourself because of depression or other issues.

[JoBeth14]

Thanx everyone 4 your help! Now i know what to do when my mom needs me 4 different things. i still donno what to say when she gets depressed and starts bin mean to me about me eating in frount of her! HELP!!!!

[CarlaB]

Give her a hug, say you're sorry and put the food away for later. Ask if there's anything you can do for her. It sounds like she needs empathy ... someone to understand.

Also, remember that it's not your fault, depression can be an effect of the disease. Your eating around her bothers her, so I'd eat those things when she's not around to see until she's feeling better and it doesn't bother her so much.

[Mongoose]

Thanx everyone 4 your help! Now i know what to do when my mom needs me 4 different things. i still donno what to say when she gets depressed and starts bin mean to me about me eating in frount of her! HELP!!!!

Don't know if you bake or cook yet, but you might offer to make her something nice that she likes? Especially something you can share too? From time to time I feel socially isolated because I can't eat the same as others around me. Doesn't bother me as much now as it used to, but still sometimes it hurts. When we humans are social our activities tend to involve or revolve around food. Finding a way to help your Mom feel included rather than excluded might help her feel better about her situation.

[kabowman]

I agree with Carla - if she is a stay-at-home-mom this will be much more difficult and hiding food in your room isn't really the best idea either. That may make her more upset.

When she goes out, take that time to enjoy your food but maybe you need to ask for snacks and stuff that she can eat so that you can eat those more freely and then just save the other stuff for school or other times she is not around.

Outside of that, you are going to have to talk to her, I don't know of any other way. Tell her about how it affects you and makes you feel when she gets upset when you eat those foods she can't.

Just remember, it isn't your fault and depression is hard on everyone. My family helps me deal with mine. The way I combat it is, I keep busy during my depression time - winter. I paint rooms, I re-arrange the house, etc...they help me keep going with my projects to see me through to spring again.

[gfp]

firstly this is not your fault .... let me repeat that this is not your fault ..

OK... you have choices. You have a slight catch-22 situation. you obviously love your mom and are an excellent daughter and you are doing what you can.

However.... I personally honestly beleive that having gluten in a kitchen, crumbs on the carpet (that get circulated with a hoover) etc. etc. is just a recipe for disaster. Many people on this board do cope in split kitchens but personally I think its an accident waiting to happen and my girlfried keeps her cookies sealed in ziplock and eat them outside the appartment.

Secondly many of us here get depression linked to very small amounts of gluten. If this is making your mom depressed she is stuck in a vicous circle...

You have to talk to her... like everyone else says but do so in a supportive way. Just as an idea why not be 100% gluten-free in the house. Tell her you are doing this to support her. You don't mention anyone else living at home?

My mother was diagnosed and had problems for 2 years on gluten-free but she was always cheating or taking risks like giving her dog buiscuits. In the end i had to go home and live with her for 2 weeks and put my foot down. This is much easier when you are 38!

I would hope that if your mother is not 100% absolutely gluten-free her depression may be caused by the gluten and once you do this the fog will slowly lift. you could take snacks outside the house, ask her for money for a sandwich because you will eat it outside not in front of her and spread crumbs.

These are just my ideas. listen to everone and make up your own mind, you have shown enough maturity by asking the questions to show you are up to this!

[Katie O'Rourke]

Just a quick idea to cheer you both up - try making some gluten-free choc chip cookies together - yummy. That way you'll both have fun making them and you'll both be able to eat them without her getting upset.

Good luck with your efforts - try and stay strong for her as she obviously needs you a lot at the moment. x

[manja]

Maybe your mom is taking care of the gluten side of the disease but also has other secondary food allergies?

I am allergic to corn, besides being intolerant to gluten. When I eat corn I have problems walking (loss of balance) and suffer from depression. Is there a way for your mom to get a detailed allergy test done?

Maybe through enterolab or yorklaboratories?

Developing secondary allergies is not unusual when you are off gluten.

I used to be a lot like your mom two months ago. I tried to be as good of a mom for my daughter Anna (2 and a half) but sometimes had to ask my husband to come home from work. My had was spinning a lot and I was too tired. Taking care of the corn issue and some other food intolerances fixed most of it.

[GFBetsy]

Thanx everyone 4 your help! Now i know what to do when my mom needs me 4 different things. i still donno what to say when she gets depressed and starts bin mean to me about me eating in frount of her! HELP!!!!

JoBeth -

I would second Katie's suggestion that you make chocolate chip cookies together. If you don't have a good recipe, try this one Open Original Shared Link . . . my family can't eat enough of them (and only one of us has celiac). Making something delicious together (that you will both enjoy eating) can be a good way to help her feel less isolated. Also, if you make a double batch of cookies, you can freeze some of the dough. Then, next time your mom is feeling down about not being able to eat gluten-full foods, just pull out some cookie dough and bake her a quick treat. It won't make her depression go away, but it will likely help her when she realizes how much you love her and that you are willing to make sacrifices to help her out.

[gluttony]

Hello, am sorry about what's happening to your mom..I just hope and pray that she is doing fine..

[Guest nini]

it sounds to me like she is still getting some (possibly hidden) gluten in her diet somehow... I've found that my depression and anxiety acts up and I get mean when I've been accidentally glutened. I can't see it when I am in the middle of it, but when I'm feeling better my hubby points out to me that I was mean and I should re think all the foods I'm eating, that SOMETHING is making me sick.

I agree that doing something nice with and for your mom like baking a gluten-free treat that you can share together would be a really nice thing to do, nothing picks me up more than a relative baking me cookies or a cake! (my sister in law was just here last weekend and made a gluten-free devils food cake that my daughter and I could have). (oh and my daughter is gluten-free with me so that makes it easier on me. Celiac IS a genetic disorder so even if you don't have symptoms yet you may want to mention that to your parents... not wishing this on you though... just that it's nicer when you have someone to share it with)