Anyone Had Trouble With Spouse Supporting?

[aprilh]

Has anyone had trouble convincing their spouse that they needed to be gluten free?

Mine gives me such a hard time! I feel like I need the test results to prove myself! Still waiting on those blood test.

[AndreaB]

My husband has been very supportive of the diet changes we needed to make. He is the only one without active gluten intolerance although he has two genes that predispose to celiac. We got tested through enterolab (www.enterolab.com) so that's how we know.

[Nantzie]

Mine was horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Back in October, right after I found out about celiac as even a possibility for me, he called me a hypochondriac and said that I wanted to be sick so I could manipulate people into doing everything for me. Said that I needed a psychiatrist, not a blood test. It was really bad. I almost left him over that. I've got kids though, and I don't believe in divorce. But I don't believe in being treated like sh*t for the rest of my life MUCH more than I don't believe in divorce. I also knew he had no idea what it was like to be sick for most of your life, and just trying one thing after another to find some answers. So I quietly decided to give him six months to get his act together and then I'd leave the b*stard, um... I mean, re-evaluate the situation.

Fast forward to Valentine's Day. He couldn't remember what chocolates were gluten-free, so he went to the gluten-free section of the grocery store by his work and got me a bunch of Pamela's and Gluten-Free Pantry baking mixes and some flowers. By that point, I had been gluten-free for about a month and a half.

Now, when he's cooking, he'll either call me from the store to make sure something he's looking at is gluten-free, or he'll have me check the labels when he gets home. He doesn't use my Gluten-Free ONLY items like my toaster. A couple of months ago he grabbed a handful of croutons I had made from some gluten-free bread, and then just stopped in his tracks, wide-eyed and said "I have gluten fingers." And started apologizing.

Really, all I did was quietly stick to my guns and went gluten-free anyway. The improvement I had in chronic health problems that I had had since I was a teenager, as well as feeling so much better all the time, and being happy, really spoke for themselves. I didn't have to say anything to change his mind. It just changed.

Hope your husband goes through the same transformation. For some reason, the people who have, or may have, celiac or gluten intolerance are THRILLED to have some answers. But it's ridiculously common for the people around the person; husband, other family, friends, co-workers, to just go all-out freaking nuts about it. It's the strangest thing. But very common.

Nancy

[tarnalberry]

No, I haven't had that problem. I'm sorry that you're not being respected by your spouse on your decison; it may be worth talking about why you're not getting the respect for your decision - since it is your decision, whether the other person believes in it or not.

[aprilh]

  Nantzie said:

Mine was horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Back in October, right after I found out about celiac as even a possibility for me, he called me a hypochondriac and said that I wanted to be sick so I could manipulate people into doing everything for me. Said that I needed a psychiatrist, not a blood test. It was really bad. I almost left him over that. I've got kids though, and I don't believe in divorce. But I don't believe in being treated like sh*t for the rest of my life MUCH more than I don't believe in divorce. I also knew he had no idea what it was like to be sick for most of your life, and just trying one thing after another to find some answers. So I quietly decided to give him six months to get his act together and then I'd leave the b*stard, um... I mean, re-evaluate the situation.

Fast forward to Valentine's Day. He couldn't remember what chocolates were gluten-free, so he went to the gluten-free section of the grocery store by his work and got me a bunch of Pamela's and Gluten-Free Pantry baking mixes and some flowers. By that point, I had been gluten-free for about a month and a half.

Now, when he's cooking, he'll either call me from the store to make sure something he's looking at is gluten-free, or he'll have me check the labels when he gets home. He doesn't use my Gluten-Free ONLY items like my toaster. A couple of months ago he grabbed a handful of croutons I had made from some gluten-free bread, and then just stopped in his tracks, wide-eyed and said "I have gluten fingers." And started apologizing.

Really, all I did was quietly stick to my guns and went gluten-free anyway. The improvement I had in chronic health problems that I had had since I was a teenager, as well as feeling so much better all the time, and being happy, really spoke for themselves. I didn't have to say anything to change his mind. It just changed.

Hope your husband goes through the same transformation. For some reason, the people who have, or may have, celiac or gluten intolerance are THRILLED to have some answers. But it's ridiculously common for the people around the person; husband, other family, friends, co-workers, to just go all-out freaking nuts about it. It's the strangest thing. But very common.

Nancy

Its a very strange thing. I think I have had so much happen and so many unexplainable symptoms, that family start to think I am a hypochondriac. I have searched so hard for a while and finally found the solution. I know what happens to my body but friends and family and Dr.'s always say its "stress related". Well it is freakin' stressful to have wierd things happen to your body and not know what it is.

It is very wierd! Anyway, I think he will come around. Are you so sensitive that you don't share toasters? I just didn't know that that could cross contaminate. Does it depend on the sensitivity level of the individual?

[queenofhearts]

Toasters are notorious for c.c. because they are so hard to clean-- impossible really. But I share a toaster oven with my gluten-eating family, which is safer since crumbs drop to the bottom, & you can remove the rack & clean it. The thing is, you don't really know how sensitive you are until you are really healed, because the baseline damage can hide the reaction. So it's a good idea to play it super-safe until you find out.

Leah

[revceliac]

My spouse came around fairly quickly when she saw how much pain I was in. She also works for a lady who is a celiac and was the one who convinced me to try going gluten free after the dr's kept telling me it was IBS. The family members that I struggled with were siblings and parents who kept trying to diagnose my problem as stress. I work too much. I do too much. For as much as I kept telling them what was going on they didn't listen. Now that I have been diagnosed since the end of April of this year, my siblings (who have had related problems ) are beginning to think they need to get tested. I think we have finally turned the corner.

At the big family get together in June, I appreciated how much my family and my in-laws spent preparing gluten-free meals.

[ianm]

My EX-wife just didn't get it at all and that is why she is now my EX-wife. No big deal, turned out for the better anyway. Everyone else has been quite supportive even if they don't fully understand it.

[gfp]

Many people have problems with close family and friends who have afterall seen you eating gluten over a long time.

We have discussed many reasons for this but people just have a hard time accepting it.

In addition since many of the symptoms are unpleasant we tend to mask them until we finally find out why.

Once we find out why we tend to be more vocal and your is a recurring theme... and most come to be supportive.

[gdobson]

My husband was skeptical when it came to my "environmental" allergies. I had been getting shots for years. He thought it was a sign of weakness. So when I had to change my diet he just let me thinking it was some silly woman thing. But then he saw the huge change in me. Then I fell off the wagon (only once in 5 years mind you) but I ate some sugar cookies - it was like I wanted to test it myself or something. But then he saw a huge change in me again when I fell apart from it. Now he wouldn't see me eat anything even questionable.

But then a little over a year ago, we had to face that our son might have the same problem. I had suggested over the previous year, and he constantly said no. Our son was just too strong for that, - I think was he train of thought. But then we had no choice. Lane wasn't growing. He was getting worse and worse. And once again, my husband saw the change in our son after we changed his diet. And he thanked me.

And he never doubts it, not even for a moment...now the rest of my family is another story.

[Guest cassidy]

My husband has had a very hard time with this. My blood test was negative. My mom figured out that this was what was wrong with her about a year ago. Six months ago, she told me she thought I had it too. Since my blood test was negative, my husband wasn't convinced. He wanted a doctor to diagnose me. So, after being gluten-free a month I went to my doctor and told him how much better I felt gluten-free and that I could tell when I glutened myself and he agreed that I had celiac. That made my husband feel better.

He has had challenges with other aspects as well. He doesn't like it that we can't just go out to dinner at any restaurant without planning ahead. I will go with his family and just not eat, but it is uncomfortable.

He still offers me bites of his pasta or other food that is completely obviously full of gluten. He has cc-ed many bowls of green beans and other things that I wanted to eat. He is getting better. If I remind him that I will want to eat something also, he will use a clean spoon.

He still leaves sandwich crumbs on the counter. So, I wipe everything down before I make food for me.

He is getting better but each time a new situation comes up it is challenging.

Good luck.