Spouse Of Celiac

[swittenauer]

My husband is a Celiac. I was wondering if anyone else on here was the spouse of someone with this and if so how do things work in your house or your life because of this? I just thought we could exchange some ideas or thoughts.

[CarlaB]

Sorry, I'm the one who has it ... but just wanted to leave a note since I read your post.

Personally, if I were the spouse, and the primary cook, I'd probably find it easiest to eat gluten-free at home with my hubby. I'd save my gluten eating for when I was out. My husband eats gluten-free when he's on a date with me, but he'll eat gluten if we're out with the whole family or if he's out without me. I only cook gluten-free, and probably would even if he were the one with the problem.

I hope you get some good answers. I've always been impressed that you were taking the time to read this board for your husband! He's very blessed to have you helping him.

[Luvs to Scrap]

My DH was diagnosed late Sept 05 and DS was just diagnosed in June. We are in the process of testing my DD. When just Jason had celiac the kids and I ate normal for breakfast and lunch while he was at work and I tried to make suppers as gluten-free as possible. (Sometimes Jason would have some parts of the meal different than the rest of us. Like we had biscuits and he had gluten-free biscuits.) Now that our son is on the diet too I try to make everything gluten-free as possible. Kirsten and I still eat some "normal" food that I am trying to use up. I usually just make everyone gluten-free spaghetti (Tinkyada is awesome!) and all casseroles gluten-free. We also eat a lot more pork chops and roast since Jason's diagnosis. He likes to eat as many "naturally" gluten-free foods as possible like meat and potatoes because they don't cost extra or taste different.

I now bake gluten-free muffins for him to eat for breakfast at work each morning. He keeps a bottle of honey at his desk. The pop tarts and oatmeal of pre diagnosis don't work anymore. He usually just has Fruity Pebbles at home. I also bake bread, biscuits, and hamburger buns for him. Have made some cookies and brownies since our son got diagnosed too.

Cooking is not near as enjoyable now since I am always having to change a recipe or avoid it. I can make stuff just for me but part of the fun is sharing what I've made. I am learning to adapt to gluten-free flours but baking is a lot different than before. I miss kneading bread! I am so proud when I can produce something that tastes good and is gluten-free. At this point I am trying to find decent cookie, cake recipes so that we can just have gluten-free stuff at our home. I am glad my husband was diagnosed first because it is a lot easier to put a positive spin on it for Luke--getting to be just like Dad--than if only DS was on the diet.

I get frustrated at times because just eating or finding something to eat is an effort and this majorly limits where we can eat out and also I have to ask so many questions when we go to a potluck. I currently do most of the research/work related to celiac disease although my husband did read most of the book I bought about raising celiac kids. This past week he has actually taken some initiative to learning more about his condition. Celiac doesn't just affect the diagnosed--it affects the whole family. Our lives have been so changed since Jason got diagnosed. I am glad he is feeling better and that makes my efforts worthwhile but I still have pity parties about the situation sometimes too. Kendra

[ryebaby0]

My husband and son are celiacs! One of the hardest things to do is let him be responsible for learning what he can and cannot eat. It's 'way too easy for guys (especially ones who don't cook much) to let you do it, and wives want to show their love and support by doing it. Long-term, that's not gonna work. What about when he goes to lunch at work? What if you need to go away? Learn together how to read the labels, recognize the bad stuff, weed out the good stuff.

Socially, it's exhausting, isn't it? Potlucks will never seem simple, there's no spontaneous food-cart on the street for you as a couple.... We used to meet for lunch, so now we meet and share something gluten-free and walk. We can't really go out to eat too much, (Thank God for Ruby Tuesday's!) so we go "out" and go bowling or to the movies. But I do miss some of the "old" things, it's true. But then, so does he....

[debmidge]

Sorry, I'm the one who has it ... but just wanted to leave a note since I read your post.

Personally, if I were the spouse, and the primary cook, I'd probably find it easiest to eat gluten-free at home with my hubby. I'd save my gluten eating for when I was out. My husband eats gluten-free when he's on a date with me, but he'll eat gluten if we're out with the whole family or if he's out without me. I only cook gluten-free, and probably would even if he were the one with the problem.

I hope you get some good answers. I've always been impressed that you were taking the time to read this board for your husband! He's very blessed to have you helping him.

I am the non celiac spouse and this is what I do (see above).

My husband dislikes computers and would never go on this board. I either read them to him or print out portions of the threads. Some day I will make him do this himself, maybe. I happen to like my board-mates too much and would miss them.

I have to add you have to have a lot of patience with your celiac person as they may not want to try new foods or go to restaurants -- they have to be your guide of when they are ready to do these things. Never admit disappointment if they decline a new food or go out to eat: they are just as disappointed as you are, even more so. I am not saying that it's a disability, but they cannot be "carefree" about it.

I try not to introduce gluten into the kitchen. I no longer have wheat white flour in the house, I am constantly wiping up when I have the one gluten thing that I use: whole wheat bread. I have nail polish marks on his gluten free strainer, wooden spoon, and other implements. But I eat/make gluten containing foods so little that it really isn't a big problem. Oh, I do eat frozen foods like lean cuisines but that really isn't like cooking.

I buy shampoos and conditioners without gluten for myself as I don't want any residue anywhere (I am paranoid about this I guess). It's easier just to avoid it myself.

Is there a specific question that you have where I can help?

[swittenauer]

I was by no means saying my husband isn't 100% in on gaining knowledge & learning about celiac with me. He is always sharing info with me as I do with him. He is knowledgeable about what to eat where & what is good or bad. He by no means leaves it up to me. We support each other totally. I think I was just wondering if you eat gluten free yourself. I do.....for the most part....unless we eat out & then I'll eat it. Sometimes it is good to just get on here & share your stories & I thought that would be nice to share info or stories with other non celiac spouses.

[maggee]

My husband and son have been diagnosed but I keep my daughter and myself gluten free as well. She did have colic and other symptoms as a baby. I plan on getting enterolab test for her soon.

I don't have problem living gluten-free at all. As a matter of fact I am eating healthier than I ever had. My issue is with the outtings (birthday parties, family gatherings, and such). Since I do most of the cooking, I need enough time to plan / shop for extras / find travel-easy food, etc. It is getting better though.

The weirdest thing happened about a week ago. I have been completely gluten free for about 8 months now. I volunteered at a community event and stayed longer than planned (my family was home so I didn't have the normal travels foods with me). When I got hungry I ate some chicken in sauce. The next day I was in pain and C'ed for 2 days and it took about a week to get back to normal.

I wonder if anyone else, after living gluten free, experiences these symptoms (sort of having to get used to gluten all over again?). It may be some other sensitivity. I do plan on getting additional testing for that, but I often wonder - can two parents have celiac / gluten issues?

My husband helps when he can but he is still gets a bit foggy at times and stubborn (the last time he was glutened he insisted he was not). So although I did most of the work at first, I am getting more help now.

[swittenauer]

That happens to me also. I'll go gluten free since my husband is. If I order pizza or eat out at work & eat whatever sounds good then I get sick. I thought it was some other allergy or something but it makes sense that if you do without something forever & then eat it that you might not feel so good since you aren't used to it.

[Stacie H.]

My husband has not been tested yet, and I'm not sure he will be, but we believe he is either gluten intolerant or Celiac. He didn't start showing symptoms of celiac disease until just 2 years ago, but at the same time he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, so we had no idea what was going on...as far as we were concerned, everything had to do with his thyroid issues. And they probably were triggers.

But my father-in-law is also Celiac, diagnosed 20+ years ago, so we were somewhat familiar with it. We have been gluten-free in our house for 3 months now. I too am gluten-free for the most part, at least at home. My only vice is having wheat crackers with my brie....I can't give that up!

I am lucky, my DH enjoys many different foods, so we have plenty of options. My mother-in-law, even today, gets frustrated because all my father-in-law will eat is his bread with baked beans and just a few other things. So she DOES have to make two meals each time...I do not. On the other hand, my FIL seems to be able to eat things that my DH cannot. He can eat Kellogs rice crispies and corn flakes, but my DH cannot (I believe due to the barley). We buy only gluten-free cereals.

I too do most of the research. My DH has been so sick for 2 years, been out of so many doctor's offices, and had 4 surgeries. He's sick of doctors and never was a good patient to begin with. He is not looking forward to seeing yet another specialist. So I don't push him. He's improving physically, his mood has improved, and life is getting better overall. I've learned to pick my battles!

[celiac spouse]

My husband is a Celiac. I was wondering if anyone else on here was the spouse of someone with this and if so how do things work in your house or your life because of this? I just thought we could exchange some ideas or thoughts.

My wife was diagnosed with Celiac Disease 9 months ago. She thinks that if I eat gluten she may be affected if we are intimate (kissing, intercourse). I find no reference to this in any scientific resources. Any thoughts. I'm not kidding!!!!!

[queenofhearts]

My wife was diagnosed with Celiac Disease 9 months ago. She thinks that if I eat gluten she may be affected if we are intimate (kissing, intercourse). I find no reference to this in any scientific resources. Any thoughts. I'm not kidding!!!!!

Well... I remember there was a post about a girl who got glutened when her bearded boyfriend had been drinking beer, so I wouldn't discount the direct contact. But if you brushed your teeth & washed up, I don't think it's oozing out your pores or anything!

Leah

[saaa-wheat<3]

debmidge wrote:

"I have nail polish marks on his gluten free strainer, wooden spoon, and other implements."

I've been wondering about those wooden utensils. Is there any evidence which supports that I really ought to throw away all my favorite ones? I definitely use a separate strainer...stuff gets caught in all those holes.

[cathzozo]

I'm the one in my house that has to eat gluten-free, but my husband does much of the cooking. We basically eat gluten-free at home except that he has a couple pre-prepared products that I cannot have, and he has his own toaster. For instance, he keeps sandwich bread, bagels, beer, and occasionally something like honey buns or twinkies for snacks. But we have no wheat flour in the house or sauces with wheat, etc. All of the cooking is completely gluten-free, including gluten-free baked goods. When we eat out, he sometimes gets gluteny food, but the other day we were at PF Chang's and he got a meal off the gluten-free menu just so we could share. How sweet!

Catherine

[Kyalesyin]

I've been married for 8 weeks... we found out six weeks ago that my wife is gluten intolerant. She'd been sufferng the shakes/crippling tiredness/skin rashes etc for a few years now, and she was pretty devastated to find out what she's got. She's only 20, and feels a little that 'life is over now' because of the sudden lack of choices. We used to live on cheap pasta.

I know how she feels, since I'm caffiene and seafood intolerant, but its difficult to reasure her that everything is gonna be ok. We don't have many friends and sucesfully managed to burn our bridges when we got married and moved away from home, and we both feel a little isolated, having this news on top of everything else. We're students, and on a pretty tight budget, so we've also had to stop going out and stop doing quite a few things, because the gluten-free stuff is pretty expensive.

Its nice to see I'm not the only one though.

[cl2gas1]

My husband is a Celiac. I was wondering if anyone else on here was the spouse of someone with this and if so how do things work in your house or your life because of this? I just thought we could exchange some ideas or thoughts.

When I read your post I thought it was mine.. My husband was diagnosed last Aug. also.. Boy what a time we had.. I knew about the diet because I have 2 DD with Celiac.. But he was not getting any better.. He lost 37 pounds.. and by Thanksgiving he looked like death warmed over.. I started him on Cream of rice 3 times a day or eggs.. By Christmas he was putting back some weight and getting some strength back.. It was long and hard.. but he did well. That is until this July 4th. He had gone to the Dr. feeling fine.. Was put back on Benicar for his bloodpressure.. Within one week he was bedridden.. Same problem.. What a flare up.. I had called the Pharmacutical Co. about Benicar's ingredients and they told me as far as they knew it was gluten-free.. We tool him off it and he was feeling better.. Now I am leary about all meds.. And nervous with every Dr's visit..

[cl2gas1]

I've been married for 8 weeks... we found out six weeks ago that my wife is gluten intolerant. She'd been sufferng the shakes/crippling tiredness/skin rashes etc for a few years now, and she was pretty devastated to find out what she's got. She's only 20, and feels a little that 'life is over now' because of the sudden lack of choices. We used to live on cheap pasta.

I know how she feels, since I'm caffiene and seafood intolerant, but its difficult to reasure her that everything is gonna be ok. We don't have many friends and sucesfully managed to burn our bridges when we got married and moved away from home, and we both feel a little isolated, having this news on top of everything else. We're students, and on a pretty tight budget, so we've also had to stop going out and stop doing quite a few things, because the gluten-free stuff is pretty expensive.

Its nice to see I'm not the only one though.

Rice, rice and rice.. That will be a good start.. and cheap.. If you have a Whole Food Market near you.. Take a walk thru and check out the gluten-free stuff for ideas and prices.. Cheaper that health food stores.. Some other markets are carrying gluten-free foods now.. Good Luck

[GFBetsy]

I've been married for 8 weeks... we found out six weeks ago that my wife is gluten intolerant. She'd been sufferng the shakes/crippling tiredness/skin rashes etc for a few years now, and she was pretty devastated to find out what she's got. She's only 20, and feels a little that 'life is over now' because of the sudden lack of choices. We used to live on cheap pasta.

I know how she feels, since I'm caffiene and seafood intolerant, but its difficult to reasure her that everything is gonna be ok. We don't have many friends and sucesfully managed to burn our bridges when we got married and moved away from home, and we both feel a little isolated, having this news on top of everything else. We're students, and on a pretty tight budget, so we've also had to stop going out and stop doing quite a few things, because the gluten-free stuff is pretty expensive.

Its nice to see I'm not the only one though.

I think the worst part of any life-changing diagnosis is that first realization that "Things will never be the same." I had the same reaction to my first pregnancy - even though I wanted to be pregnant! That first shock seems to be the worst of it, though. My suggestion to you would be to sit down and make a big old list of all of the things you can still eat. This changes your perspective and helps with the "I can do this!" feeling. Here are some things that will easily fit into both of your diets:

potatoes (baked, fried, mashed, hashbrowned, twice baked, etc.) (cheap)

veggies (broccoli, green beans, corn, peas, cauliflower, cabbage, carrots, spinach, lettuce, squash, etc.)

fruits (peaches (yum!), pears, grapes, apples, tomatoes, oranges, bananas, strawberries, raspberries, etc.)

meats (beef (roast, burgers, steaks, etc), chicken, pork (bacon (careful!), roast, chops, ribs, etc.)

beans/lentils (also cheap)

dairy/eggs (don't go overboard, as she could become sensitive to milk after removing gluten from her diet)

Combinations of the above:

tacos (using fried corn tortillas),

beef or chicken stew (use corn starch, dry instant mashed potatoes, or sweet rice flour for thickener)

BBQ sorts of meals (with potato chips or oven fried potatoes (thick wedges))

eggs in all their combinations (scrambled, fried, boiled, etc.)

homemade soups (chili, taco soup, chicken soup, veggie soup, pumpkin soup (actually very good, though it sounds weird), potato soup, broccoli cheese soup, leftover roast soup (delicious!))

straight meat & pototo meals (steak, pork chops, garlic/lime chicken (Yum))

And almost all of these foods are completely "normal" (except for the stew thickeners). Once you get a little more confidence (and perhaps once you graduate from college or have a steadier income), you can start trying gluten free baking. Check out Bette Hagman's Gluten Free Gourmet cookbooks from the library (school or public). She's got a lot of really good information on gluten-free baking in general. Also look for a copy of Leanne Ely's "Saving Dinner" cookbook. It's not intentionally a gluten-free cookbook, but a lot of her recipes are gluten free or easily modified (cornstarch for flour) and they are VERY good. (Try her Garlic Lime Chicken .. . it's FABULOUS!) (The recipes are portioned for 6 people, but you can cut down the amounts or have a lot of leftovers for lunches.)

The good news is that eating at home is almost always cheaper and better for you than eating out all the time (I could feed my whole family steaks and potato soup for what Outback Steakhouse charges for one person's meal). And potatoes and rice are (as has been noted) relatively cheap (and almost certainly better for you than ramen). And there are social things you can do: invite married couples from your classes to a game night with ice cream . . . ask everyone to bring a specific topping (nuts, marshmallow cream, hershey's chocolate sauce) and you provide gluten-free ice cream and everyone can make sundaes.

If you want any recipes, PM me. I love sharing recipes for food that tastes good. And I only make gluten-free food that I myself am willing to eat (I don't have celiac, just have family members who do), so all of my recipes taste great! Oh, my goodness, I made an eclair cake last night that was MARVELOUS.

[KayJay]

I am the one with Celiac in our family. We eat gluten-free in the house but he will usually have gluten meals if we go out and packs a lunch with wheat bread every day. He also has his cerals and things like that. So far it has never been an issue.

We eat a lot of rice too

[sara's mom]

Hi there, I am a mother of a daughter who was diagnosed at the age of 9 with Celiac disease. She is now 20. What we did in our house is seperate the things I needed to cook with for her. Everything that could become contaimenated was kept seperate. She has her own pans/cooking spoons etc all for her own use even a seperate mixer and toaster. At first it was expensive to rebuy things I needed to cook for her but it worked wonderfuly. She had her own shelf for her food like pastas/crackers/cereals etc. This way it was less confusing for us all and she grow up knowing that she had her shelf. She is out on her own now living with a roomate but has kept up with her own shelf for her foods etc. It made my families life alot easier knowing that sara's shelf was hers and that even the special goodies was for only her. I had two other children that were all fine but everyone in the family and outside respected Sara's space and by having this in our house made others do the same in their house so Sara never felt different as she knew everyone was trying to help her. Actually it became fun when friends got on board and would buy her goodies they had found that were gluten free to try. They felt they were all helping her to be healthy and made our social dinners alot easier.

[CherylCT]

Hi! My boyfriend has Celiac, and he was totally irresponsible with it (i.e. eating the gluten and facing the unpleasant physical consequences) until a little less than a year ago. He had some medical problems, and his doctor (along with some gentle nagging from me) convinced him to clean up his eating act. He is AWESOME now! I don't even need to worry about having bread in the house for myself -- because he would never cheat now. But I am trying to come up with healthy new gluten-free things to make, so he doesn't get stuck in a rut eating the same safe things day after day.

He has type 1 diabetes, which was diagnosed before the celiac -- but did you see the research that came out last week? That undiagnosed celiac in kids (and the resulting gluten intake) might actually CAUSE type 1 diabetes? That makes perfect sense to me.

As far as his diet management is concerned, the celiac is a much bigger deal than the diabetes!

I'm so glad I found this board. I'll be checking in regularly for good ideas for helping him deal with this and eat a better (more fun!) diet. Thanks ...

[white]

My husband is a Celiac. I was wondering if anyone else on here was the spouse of someone with this and if so how do things work in your house or your life because of this? I just thought we could exchange some ideas or thoughts.

My husband has gluten intolerance. he was diagnosed in july, I think he has been gluten free since the beginning of August..

I did all the cooking at the beginning. He knows how to cook but he was frustrated with the disease and was getting tired so easily at the beginning due to vitamin malabsorbtion so he couldn't fix anything...later he got better and managed his own diet properly....but now he is extremely dissapointed and tired again....so again, I take care of all he meals.

Did you have a specific question? there are too many things to say..