The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

...and more importantly - why can't Tom pick up his own?!? (saving me the humiliation! )

Nikkinikkinikkinikkinikki . . . . . .

This is getting all mixed up!

In accordance w/ the prophecy, Thoust who droppeth copper, shalt NOT also retrieveth it.

I'm dumping pennies cuz they're too useless!!

And hehehe, sometimes I *put* a dime or nickel into the payphone coin-return slots LOL

<re-aiming overbright light into Nikki's eyes> "Now answer the question or lawyer up!!"

Is it littering??? !!!!!!!!

[Jestgar]

I would think you'd require a business license, because aren't you, after all, distributing luck?

So even if it isn't littering, it's still on the shady side of the law....

[elye]

Man, pennies are NOT lucky. Now, hundred-dollar bills, THEY are fortuitous. I actually have done worse than scatter them in a parking lot--I have THROWN THEM OUT. Yes, in the garbage. This might just be illegal. I find one on my dresser, a couple on my car seat, two in the washer. They're EVERYWHERE, and they're useless, and the garbage can is sitting right there.

So, who is on the head side of the American penny? Canadian coins all feature the good Queen. How about the tail side? Here it's the very imaginative maple leaf. Being on a coin would, surely, make me look fat...

[DingoGirl]

Being on a coin would, surely, make me look fat...

Oh Pshaw, 'twould not, 'tis only the head.

Here, good old Honest Abe (President Abe Lincoln, that is).

OMG - - cannot at this moment even RECALL what IS on the tail's side! used to be......some sort of flaura - wheat staffs? laurel? and now....it's a building......but I don't even know what!!!!!!!!!!! Would have to look at said wicked and useless evil penny to know. Bah.

[CarlaB]

Oh, Tom the twin! (Yes, "Thomas" actually does mean "twin"...no leg-pulling, here). The meaning derives from "Doubting Thomas", who wandered around in the Bible at some point (help me out, biblical people!). As I strain my academic recall, I believe he was an apostle who doubted Christ's claim of having risen from the dead. I think he was insisting on seeing the nailmarks on Christ's hands and feet.

Right, it says in the Bible that Thomas means twin, though I don't know that it elaborates on it ... I think that came from theologians.

He didn't doubt Christ's claim, he doubted the apostles's claim ... the other apostles had seen Christ, and Thomas didn't believe it and said what you said, that he needed to put his fingers in the nailmarks and his hand in his side ... so when Jesus appeared to him, he suggested that Thomas do that. Thomas knelt and said, "My Lord and my God."

I agree with Jestgar ... spreading pennies would need a business license ... though you will only look fat picking them up if you're wearing the dress that makes your sig. other think of UFO's.

[tom]

So even if it isn't littering, it's still on the shady side of the law....

Well, J, I appreciate the point - and it's that train of thought that led me to ask the Q in the 1st place.

Can there be a difference in the laws regarding currency which is dependent on denomination?

Nobody would mind a trail of dollar coins.

"In for a penny, in for a . .. . . uhhhh is a pound around $2.70-ish these days?"

Right, it says in the Bible that Thomas means twin, though I don't know that it elaborates on it ... I think that came from theologians.

He didn't doubt Christ's claim, he doubted the apostles's claim ... the other apostles had seen Christ, and Thomas didn't believe it and said what you said, that he needed to put his fingers in the nailmarks and his hand in his side ... so when Jesus appeared to him, he suggested that Thomas do that. Thomas knelt and said, "My Lord and my God."

Hmmmm I may need to research this Thomas=twin origin.

And aha! Thx for that "Doubting" origin. I somehow didn't end up finishing catechism and don't actually recall why. (?) Doubt I ever will.

Here, good old Honest Abe (President Abe Lincoln, that is).

OMG - - cannot at this moment even RECALL what IS on the tail's side! used to be......some sort of flaura - wheat staffs? laurel? and now....it's a building......but I don't even know what!!!!!!!!!!! Would have to look at said wicked and useless evil penny to know. Bah.

Oh Susan . . . . . .

Hast thou dingo'd thine coinage?

The common terms for the old "Wheat Penny" - and Buffalo Nickel while we're at it - were both *quite* appropriately coined! <groan>

Lincoln-headed penny has Lincoln Memorial as tails!! D'oh! <tom imagines self-slappage of a forehead>

And Susie!, what's your position on 'littering vs skint philanthropy'? (Hehe Nikki, did I use that right? Seems iffy)

As Stephen Colbert would say:

"We're at war! Pick a side!"

P.S. I'm hangin' out at a greeeeeaaaaat coffeehouse again. Planned on working on my algernon project, but having too many fun conversations w/ strangers!! (It's just ALL so freaking NEW to me!!!)

[nikki-uk]

"In for a penny, in for a . .. . . uhhhh is a pound around $2.70-ish these days?

Actually around

[elye]

Boracic...boracic...isn't that an..adjective...pertaining to...boron? Boron being, let's see (straining mental chemistry archive--argh!), a chemical they mix with steel? Another brand new question! Are pennies boracic? I'm certain the Canadian ones aren't. Another question: Would wearing a bra made of boracic material make me look less fat?

[CarlaB]

P.S. I'm hangin' out at a greeeeeaaaaat coffeehouse again. Planned on working on my algernon project, but having too many fun conversations w/ strangers!! (It's just ALL so freaking NEW to me!!!)

I like to talk to strangers, too, in fact, in our local Starbucks (we've had this discussion, it's too far to get to a real coffee house from suburbia), I even know all the employees.

Another question: Would wearing a bra made of boracic material make me look less fat?

If you look fat, you need a new avatar ... you don't look fat in this one.

It's not a matter of looking fat, it's a matter of the clothes being right for your shape ... I'm skinny and certain clothes can make me look like I have quite a gut ... it's frightening ... I can see why young girls would think the answer is losing more weight when the answer is just putting on different clothes! As much as stores and designers would like to think we can all wear the same stuff, we can't.

[elye]

You're so right. Hence that infamous question..."DTMMLF?" (too lazy to type it out yet again).

[Mtndog]

Okay, so Nikki has recruited me over here from a technical thread. How do I ease myself into such frenzied madness that is the Tickle Me thread? I have never participated in a post that lasted longer than about ten pages, so this is new, uncharted territory for me. I feel...scared...exhilerated...and under great pressure to be as silly and outright HILARIOUS as all you geniuses. You guys have become a loyal, tightly-nit family, and I feel like the new, second wife who suddenly enters the fray. I may just have to ease slowly into this....

OMG- Elye------so so so HAPPY to have you hear!Tom needed another wife anyway and i have missed you lady. I know you- you'll fit right in!

Boy these were the days. No censors!

THE ORIGINAL HOLLYWOOD SQUARES!!

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking eth questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's

married?

A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more! than three words to say "I Love You"?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing-old question Peter, and I'll

give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or an

elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh !!

[DingoGirl]

Boracic...boracic...isn't that an..adjective...pertaining to...boron? Boron being, let's see (straining mental chemistry archive--argh!), a chemical they mix with steel? Another brand new question! Are pennies boracic? I'm certain the Canadian ones aren't. Another question: Would wearing a bra made of boracic material make me look less fat?

susie wonders if DRINKING some boracic acid would make her look less fat.......

I'm thinking yes?

I like to talk to strangers, too, in fact, in our local Starbucks (we've had this discussion, it's too far to get to a real coffee house from suburbia), I even know all the employees.

If you look fat, you need a new avatar ... you don't look fat in this one.

that is funny, and reminds me, I am on a HUGGING basis with two of the employees at my Trader Joe's, and an extreme chatting basis with teh manager. I am in there about three times a week, and I have proposed the idea of operating a dating service from their store........with a sign, The Counselor is IN....... We think we're quite funny.

AND NIKKI's got POSH!!!! (Nikki and I luuuuuuuurve Posh). Darling little stick-insect figger with round plastic boobs, is that not what you said, oh Scarlet spice?

and on a separate note......scatology alert - - - *WARNING*

Since I have to take all this calcium and D and all kinds of other stuff for bone density, I am SO FREAKING constipated.......

but I think something's in the shoot, about to LAUNCH.......

...and that's what my friends and I call, DEFCON ONE......

gotta GO!

[nikki-uk]

Bev, no idea what Hollywood Squares was but lurvve those answers!!! ....oh wait ...I think we (UK) had 'Celebrity Squares' (many moons ago)

susie wonders if DRINKING some boracic acid would make her look less fat.......

I'm thinking yes?

Definitely. You will NEVER eat solid food again silly!!!!

AND NIKKI's got POSH!!!! (Nikki and I luuuuuuuurve Posh). Darling little stick-insect figger with round plastic boobs, is that not what you said, oh Scarlet spice?

Ain't she great???

.....scatology alert - - - *WARNING*

Uh-oh

but I think something's in the shoot, about to LAUNCH.......

...and that's what my friends and I call, DEFCON ONE......

Good lord ...what is that???...do I need my tin hat????

[Mtndog]

...and that's what my friends and I call, DEFCON ONE......

gotta GO!

OMG_ I almost peed my pants on DEFCON ONE (Having had Defcom 1, 2 and 3 myself today).

Mtndog is a VERY hurting [puppy today (too much fun over weekend, but no sleep last night due to horrid dreams. thus Mtndog is taking a strong painkiller today that has actually killed my brain.

OK- Tom, the twin. This MIGHT make you feel better. My name is Beverly and I now live in Beverly (which I SWORE I would never do) however, having felt cursed as a child for being named after a nearby town, I almost got over it.

Until I discovered that Beverly is lovely Olde English for Girl from the Beaver Meadow.

Ironically, I found out via a friend whose 13 year old nephew was in my class, I had always been affectionately referred to as Beav by many friends. The 7th grade boys, behind my back, had renamed me Ms Beaver and I don't think they were referring to that unique animal I adore. :ph34r: :ph34r:

Ah... what's in a name? In my case, a va-jay-jay (never favaorite word taught to me by Dingy.

Nikki- You look HOT in your new avatar but my god, you look a bit too much like a stick insect with balloon boobs :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Please no more PS (plastic surgery). Increases boob size but kills brain size

[tom]

. . . . .Tom needed another wife anyway . . . . .

BEV!! WTH is w/ THIS??!!!

All I need is an income again so I have a maid again!! ACK!!

Bev, stop nearly giving me a heart attack!!!

[nikki-uk]

OMG_ I almost peed my pants on DEFCON ONE (Having had Defcom 1, 2 and 3 myself today).

Please explain Defcon?

Mtndog is a VERY hurting [puppy today (too much fun over weekend, but no sleep last night due to horrid dreams. thus Mtndog is taking a strong painkiller today that has actually killed my brain.

Poor Mtndog ...hope you feel better tomorrow

Nikki- You look HOT in your new avatar but my god, you look a bit too much like a stick insect with balloon boobs :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Tsk!!...Jealous!!...

Please no more PS (plastic surgery). Increases boob size but kills brain size

Oh - my- god ......................whatever !!

[CarlaB]

All I need is an income again so I have a maid again!! ACK!!

That would be much cheaper and much less frustrating than a wife ... but wives are still more fun.

Bev, sorry you're feeling crummy ... bad dreams go with all this ....

My mom used to love to watch Hollywood Squares ... obviously, back in the 60's, it was humor that was way over my head. Now it's hysterical! They should put on reruns!

[DingoGirl]

Good lord ...what is that???...do I need my tin hat????

Here you go Lurve, the definition for DEFCON. Defcon 5 is the usual state of readiness for launch in the US.....but Defcon ONE is in the shoot (chute?) READY TO LAUNCH......a state of imminent urgency:

Open Original Shared Link

more later......but FYI successful launch earlier this am.....Susie is pleased.

[Mtndog]

Here you go Lurve, the definition for DEFCON. Defcon 5 is the usual state of readiness for launch in the US.....but Defcon ONE is in the shoot (chute?) READY TO LAUNCH......a state of imminent urgency:

Open Original Shared Link

more later......but FYI successful launch earlier this am.....Susie is pleased.

Yes! Excellent on the Defcon....OK Tom, don't you ever watch Big Love on HBO (Bill Paxton, Jean Triplehorn). He has three wives and NEVER does housework. We are ONLY your VIRTUAL wives!

OK- I concede, I shall watch Posh Spice's show as I lurve British humor!

OMG- Nikki- in the 90's there was a song called "Bo's Yer Uncle" (forget the band) but I ALWAYS though that it had some pervy meaning. Now I love it. "So you add the flour, the butter and 10 pounds of chocolate, and Bob's Yer Uncle. Don't bother baking just EAT IT!"

[tom]

.....Susie is pleased.

But, gah!!, more wiki?

Wiki says gliadin is also in rye & barley, besides the wheat it IS actually in.

Bah wiki.

Hi Susie. Any climbing lately?

I think today's a bball day for me!

Monsoon rains cooling it down here - about flippin' time!

[elye]

Wow, ya learn something new every day. DEFCON, huh? Polyglot, DEFCON, boracic...great new vocabulary that I must try to slip into my cocktail-party chatter.

Sheesh, I have enough trouble being an actual wife...now I'm virtual one, too? And where, pray, are all the other male posters? This thread reeks of estrogen (I'm assuming most of us are pre-menopausal)...certainly not a bad thing, but it is interesting that the guys seem tied up in threads that actually have something to do with celiac disease. They've probably peeked in and been too overwhelmed by the lightning-fast wit .

[nikki-uk]

Here you go Lurve, the definition for DEFCON. Defcon 5 is the usual state of readiness for launch in the US.....but Defcon ONE is in the shoot (chute?) READY TO LAUNCH......a state of imminent urgency:

Open Original Shared Link

EGADS!! - so what constitutes LERTCONS ????

Now I love it. "So you add the flour, the butter and 10 pounds of chocolate, and Bob's Yer Uncle. Don't bother baking just EAT IT!"

Oooohh, YUMMY

Monsoon rains cooling it down here - about flippin' time!

Monsoon rains is all I've known ALL SUMMER .....BAHhhhh

Wow, ya learn something new every day. DEFCON, huh? Polyglot, DEFCON, boracic...great new vocabulary that I must try to slip into my cocktail-party chatter.

Yes, you SHALL be the wittiest person at ALL your cocktail-partayz

This thread reeks of estrogen (I'm assuming most of us are pre-menopausal)

Why - how very DARE you ..I am but a slip of a girl..

but it is interesting that the guys seem tied up in threads that actually have something to do with celiac disease.They've probably peeked in and been too overwhelmed by the lightning-fast wit .

Indeed!!

Men=Rare commodity on c.com

[elye]

I have to insert a technical question here, before we continue with our raucous hilarity: I have not yet been able to figure out how to put just a section of a person's previous post into a quote, as you guys do all the time. If I want to respond to a particular sentence within someone's post, how do I put just that sentence into my post? I seem to be only able to get the entire post as a quote, even when I highlight just one sentence and hit the "reply" with quotation marks. Duhhhh...yes, it's true, I'm technically hopeless...

[tom]

. . .. how do I put just that sentence into my post? I seem to be only able to get the entire post as a quote, even when I highlight just one sentence and hit the "reply" with quotation marks.

Ya we do that a lot.

A real space-saver, esp on OMG thread.

Just do what you've been doing, whole post as a quote, then at THAT page delete whatever from the quote.

Like the sculptor's response to how he gets an elephant from a block of granite.

"Chip away anything that's *not* an elephant"

<bah! I'm CLOSE to the right quote anyway!!>

P.S. Had to reply to this quickly, but boy have I ever got a LOT to respond to here!!

[elye]

Thank you much...Okay, back to funny stuff. Go to it, Tomtwin...