The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[TriticusToxicum]

I'm with you on the Robert Duvall and Sean Connery, and how about Armande Assante, Andy Garcia, Benecio Del Toro............Wayne Newton's face lift scares me a little

Ooompa Loompas and Charlie and the Chocolate Facotry gave me the heebie jeebies when I was little.

If we're inviting those fellas, shouldn't we also invite Tom Selleck (and his mustache), and the honorable Chuck "I can kick anyone's A$$" Norris? I mean, Care Bears, Machine guns, and Open Original Shared Link (escorted by TS's mustache) would be a parade for the ages! Chuck could do flying roundhouse kicks down the boulevard as stray bullets bounce harmlessly off his machismo.

[Darn210]

If we're inviting those fellas, shouldn't we also invite Tom Selleck (and his mustache), and the honorable Chuck "I can kick anyone's A$$" Norris? I mean, Care Bears, Machine guns, and Open Original Shared Link (escorted by TS's mustache) would be a parade for the ages! Chuck could do flying roundhouse kicks down the boulevard as stray bullets bounce harmlessly off his machismo.

Chuck Norris facts:

But it looks like no bullets. Just candy corn and marshmallows. Will that be manly enough for Chuck? We could have him wrangle the Care Bears. I'm sure that would please DoTL.

[Mtndog]

If we're inviting those fellas, shouldn't we also invite Tom Selleck (and his mustache), and the honorable Chuck "I can kick anyone's A$$" Norris? I mean, Care Bears, Machine guns, and Open Original Shared Link (escorted by TS's mustache) would be a parade for the ages! Chuck could do flying roundhouse kicks down the boulevard as stray bullets bounce harmlessly off his machismo.

OMG- now I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

OK- the Care Bears stay (see I am a reasonable leader ) as well as the sparkling tassel twirling, full strength mojitos, CHOCOLATE (so we can keep Donna and Julie), Sean Connery, Benicio del Toro and DEFINITELY Chuck "Roundhouse Kick" Norris.

Wayne Newton? Hold me, I'm scared

[blueeyedmanda]

If we're inviting those fellas, shouldn't we also invite Tom Selleck (and his mustache), and the honorable Chuck "I can kick anyone's A$$" Norris? I mean, Care Bears, Machine guns, and Open Original Shared Link (escorted by TS's mustache) would be a parade for the ages! Chuck could do flying roundhouse kicks down the boulevard as stray bullets bounce harmlessly off his machismo.

I love the avatar! That is one of my favorite Scary movies.

[nikki-uk]

I really feel that anyone we involve, whether it be a float-rider, a marching player, a twirler (tassles or otherwise) or part of the royal party, must be celiac, or at the very least gluten intolerant.

Then I must be excluded from the parade.

What am I even doing here??? .......

What is celiac disease again????

...but you all seem like awfully nice people

OMG- YES !!! Chuck Norris !!! ....and Tom Selleck....swoon

What about Steven Seagal ??? ...Too big and cumbersome???

Wayne Newton? Hold me, I'm scared

Who is he??????

Why does he scare our Queen??

[Darn210]

I really feel that anyone we involve, whether it be a float-rider, a marching player, a twirler (tassles or otherwise) or part of the royal party, must be celiac, or at the very least gluten intolerant.

Then I must be excluded from the parade.

Me too . . . sigggghhhh . . . Oh well, I couldn't come up with any special talent and I know they were going to stick me with the scooper. Either that or fetching Perrier and removing all of the brown M&M's from the candy bowl for Mr Norris.

[TriticusToxicum]

Then I must be excluded from the parade.

rules are made to be broken!

What am I even doing here??? .......

A question we should all ask ourselves!

What about Steven Seagal ??? ...Too big and cumbersome???

2 options:

1) dress him as a pop-gun toting Care Bear

2) Dress him as the Care Bear Float

Who is he??????

Why does he scare our Queen??

Please find a buddy and hold on tight. Open Original Shared Link If your stomach is up for it Open Original Shared Link (oompa loompa indeed!)

The man is "famous" for no particular reason and longs to be Robert Goulet.

OK no further mention of Wanker Wayne is allowed. I think I'm developing a rash

[TriticusToxicum]

Me too . . . sigggghhhh . . . Oh well, I couldn't come up with any special talent and I know they were going to stick me with the scooper.

I think the "Americans with Disabilities Act" precludes us from excluding you "normals" from our festivities...we may even need to have a trailer with (gulp) fried dough. So instead of involving the ACLU, I say we open this affair to all who care to come, no matter what their race, creed, color or gluten tolerance.

Either that or fetching Perrier and removing all of the brown M&M's from the candy bowl for Mr Norris.

No need. When chuck stares at the bowl of M&M's the brown ones scatter. As for the Perrier, Chuck dislikes the French and anything that sounds french. (he doesn't actually know the difference, but are YOU brave enough to test him?) To stay hydrated he "drinks his own" Chuck Norris is a fully independent sustainable ecosystem unto himself, so back away slowly with the sissy water.

[Mtndog]

No need. When chuck stares at the bowl of M&M's the brown ones scatter. As for the Perrier, Chuck dislikes the French and anything that sounds french. (he doesn't actually know the difference, but are YOU brave enough to test him?) To stay hydrated he "drinks his own" Chuck Norris is a fully independent sustainable ecosystem unto himself, so back away slowly with the sissy water.

GOING TO DIE LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Oh great King, we have a Open Original Shared Link

In fact there's a picture of you

<--------------------------

Please keep in mind the following:

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. (so no need for Mr Hesto )

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. :lol: :lol:

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

[DingoGirl]

I'm with you on the Robert Duvall and Sean Connery, and how about Armande Assante, Andy Garcia, Benecio Del Toro............Wayne Newton's face lift scares me a little

Yes, yes, those guys too!!!

Um, Julie, face LIFT???? I think it's plural - face LIFTS!!!!!!!!!! And the hair.....why can't he decide to just be a little more....normal looking? Can't anyone talk to him?

OMG- now I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK- the Care Bears stay (see I am a reasonable leader ) as well as the sparkling tassel twirling, full strength mojitos, CHOCOLATE (so we can keep Donna and Julie), Sean Connery, Benicio del Toro and DEFINITELY Chuck "Roundhouse Kick" Norris.

Wayne Newton? Hold me, I'm scared

See! I knew you'd come around!!!!

CHUCK NORRIS????????????? oh I don't even like looking at him.....but check out that photo w/ the sleeveless denim shirt unbuttoned all the way down to his belt buckle - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Then I must be excluded from the parade.

oh the HELL you say!! Yes, you are in charge of the fried dough wagon. I agree w/ Richard, we must open it up, in the spirit of the Care Bear, to ALL who want to participate in this bacchanal revelry. And YOU are also here to keep us in line, missy, should one of us suffer, say, a marshmallow to the eye or, overt and intentional cheating with the dough *gasp*

Me too . . . sigggghhhh . . . Oh well, I couldn't come up with any special talent and I know they were going to stick me with the scooper. Either that or fetching Perrier and removing all of the brown M&M's from the candy bowl for Mr Norris.

Well then you are here for humoUrous commentary of the event, also your son is the photographer. Plus, you'd be surprised at what we consider "talent," I am quite sure we can come up with something.

I think the "Americans with Disabilities Act" precludes us from excluding you "normals" from our festivities...we may even need to have a trailer with (gulp) fried dough. So instead of involving the ACLU, I say we open this affair to all who care to come, no matter what their race, creed, color or gluten tolerance.

Hear hear!

Emily - Oompa Loompas w/ DH gone awry. :lol:

[DingoGirl]

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. :lol: :lol:

:lol:

So THAT's who's been commandeering that vehicle in my 'hood!

[blueeyedmanda]

:lol:

So THAT's who's been commandeering that vehicle in my 'hood!

LOL! Does he play Rob Zombie music instead of the jingly ice cream tune?

[TriticusToxicum]

LOL! Does he play Rob Zombie music instead of the jingly ice cream tune?

Open Original Shared Link actually. BIG fan.

[TriticusToxicum]

GOING TO DIE LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Oh great King, we have a Open Original Shared Link

In fact there's a picture of you

<--------------------------

I've heard that the lens adds 10 lbs., but 10 lbs. of facial hair and turkey - that's a new one!

Please keep in mind the following:

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. (so no need for Mr Hesto )

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

I think the first is actually a direct quote from Charlton himself.

[Darn210]

Open Original Shared Link actually. BIG fan.

Oh My GaWWWd!! Please tell me you just found that and didn't already have it in your favorites list. Or has this whole thread been manipulated by you just so you could showcase all your favorite Chuck Norris bits.

[blueeyedmanda]

So what Meatloaf song are we playing?

I rather like Meatloaf as well.

[TriticusToxicum]

Oh My GaWWWd!! Please tell me you just found that and didn't already have it in your favorites list. Or has this whole thread been manipulated by you just so you could showcase all your favorite Chuck Norris bits.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. <== Count your lucky stars!

Another little known fact:

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

[TriticusToxicum]

So what Meatloaf song are we playing?

Click on Open Original Shared Link and find out.

[DingoGirl]

Oh My GaWWWd!! Please tell me you just found that and didn't already have it in your favorites list. Or has this whole thread been manipulated by you just so you could showcase all your favorite Chuck Norris bits.

Oh how little you know of King Richard's cleverness!! The venerable inventor of this thread pulls this stuff out of his cheeky arse at any moment. We did, however, like it more when he had his OTHER job and he could play with us for the better part of the year.

I just thought of something. I think there was a YETI in the passenger side of Chuck Norris' skull-covered ice cream truck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you know what, it WAS meatloaf playing, that song I hate more than almost ANY song - - "I Won't Do That" - - UGH! I would have puked but was just too titillated by the sight of this bone-covered, wildly-weaving and careening machine of so-called ice cream-dispensing wholesome goodness....

[blueeyedmanda]

Click on Open Original Shared Link and find out.

Well that was my blonde moment of the day Very funny!

[DingoGirl]

oh my gaaaaaaaaaawd

I just watched the Chuck Norris meatloaf video.

singing that HEINOUS, whiny song.

okay now STOP IT!!!

today just might be carpet-shampooing day. Gotta go.

[elye]

Ahhh, you're all absolutely right. What came over me? This must be an event for ALL. I hang my head as someone who discriminated momentarily...and more importantly, we do not want to be wrangling with any human rights groups or those representing national Acts.

So, Chuck Norris has a float at the ready--skulled ice cream truck. He's in. But I'm with Susie, I'd also like him to keep his shirt done up. Northern legend has it (my MIL lives up in Whitehorse, and actually is a good source of Inuit folklore) that Yetis tend to put out a lot of...fecal matter...that they bury, usually in snow, and it is sacred if found. This is important information for us: We'll need a strapping individual (Steven Seagal will do...he's in) to constantly walk and hoist the big scoop needed. I've got my MIL on retrieving additional lore...why is this stuff sacred? What magic could be disposed, that we can use? Stay tuned...

[nikki-uk]

Much needed mirth and gollification (made that word up) YOU SILLIES !!!

If your stomach is up for it Open Original Shared Link (oompa loompa indeed!)

DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?

Did he get Open Original Shared Link whilst stuck in a wind tunnel???????

Chuck dislikes the French and anything that sounds french.

Is he English???

To stay hydrated he "drinks his own" Chuck Norris is a fully independent sustainable ecosystem unto himself, so back away slowly with the sissy water.

...and many, many more 's.

Good work people !!!!!!!

[TriticusToxicum]

But I'm with Susie, I'd also like him to keep his shirt done up.

...and with good reason...Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.

[TriticusToxicum]

DEAR GOD !!!!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?

Did he get Open Original Shared Link whilst stuck in a wind tunnel???????

Robert Goulet kicked his A$$ and force fed him FANTA

Is he English???

BYte your tongue! He's a 100% pure-bred Jewish-Texan! They don't come any more American than Chuck! (Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. ) Alll hail Chuck!