The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[dlp252]

See, this is why I am not allowed to have expanded cable......I would have watched this ALL DAY.....into the night.........and every day thereafter. *sigh* The Food Channel.......HGTV....... not allowed.

Ah yes, but not expanded cable...this came as part of my "basic broadcast channel" cheapie only $14 a month cable.

That and the Travel Channel, which oddly has some interesting tribal shows and lots of shows about, well, travel

Oh, and Sci-Fi channel which oddly fascinates me.

[Darn210]

Annie's eaten all the pre-game and the game snacks. She's such a selfish little hostess. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Poor Annie -- I think both just got fatter during mommy's bedridden state. Did not help that I was throwing miniature marshmallows (BLECH! the homemade ones are just so superior!) at her yesterday, for...something to do.......

So . . . if I understand this correctly, your superbowl snacks were a bag of miniature marshmallows?? Not traditional football fare? What do you have for Thanksgiving? Tacos? Chocolate Chips? Crackers?

Where's Bev? Where's Sarah? mygawd, have we lost SArah forever?

And.......wasn't there someone new who asked to join us - - and then we never saw her again?

:lol:

I'm not surprised.

Yes, I thought with all the new blood coming in we would have to change how long a queen/king were to remain enthroned. I thought we would be flying through the pages . . . 100 pages would only last a week . . .hmmm, I'll have to go fishing in another thread again.

[DingoGirl]

So . . . if I understand this correctly, your superbowl snacks were a bag of miniature marshmallows?? Not traditional football fare? What do you have for Thanksgiving? Tacos? Chocolate Chips? Crackers?

:lol:

Yes. exactly that. Chips, crackers, and granola straight out of the bag. And christmas......we really knock ourselves out - chips and salsa, and snickers, all day.

Emily! Exciting news about your hubby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phecal Phat is phunny to say.

Dating..............oh dear gawwd. Horrible topic these days.

Ptaum - - OMG. No, I USED to date men I THOUGHT I liked (most, I did like) as a gluten-brain. I ruined nearly every good relationship - well, two of the three major ones, I did. a very sad story and actually, you could write a Danielle Steele trash novel out of it....only - wait - no happy ending yet.

So when I was young, cute, and fertile and desperate to be married, I made very bad decisions about men in the Monterey years. Now that I'm old and fading (becoming invisible - the TERRIBLE thing that happens to middle-aged women ) I really haven't been enthralled w/ the men I've dated since Robert.......I mean.....it's easy to get caught up in something when someone is desperately chasing you - and hard to discern whether you really like the MAN, or the attention.

I'm getting better though. Last guy, I only went on two dates.....could discern the neediness and clingy-ness IMMEDIATELY and went no further. Desperation and neediness are MASSIVE turnoffs, are they not? The absolute kiss of death.

[oh and plus - - when the last guy tried to kiss me - - a furtive attempt w/ a minnow-like tongue - which I blocked, BTW - he had razor-sharp, cold lips, and reeked of onion............. <green-face here> BLECH! ]

But it makes me SOOOOOOOO sad......now that I'm clear-headed and have so much more to offer.....the offers are drying up, and I live in an agricultural community - - slim pickin's for interesting, brilliant, yummy OLD ENOUGH men. And moving isn't an option.

OMG so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This issue has been plaguing me lately, though. I mean, the world's supposed to end in 2012, right, according to the Mayan calendar? Geez, I've only got four years now.

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Find me one in San Jose, Tom. A plethora there, right?

BACK TO SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nikki-uk]

Phecal Phat is phunny to say.

It is....but Will (geddit Emily?) there be no one left to phart???? .....slightly tragic.....

[oh and plus - - when the last guy tried to kiss me - - a furtive attempt w/ a minnow-like tongue - which I blocked, BTW - he had razor-sharp, cold lips, and reeked of onion............. <green-face here> BLECH! ]

EWWW!!!!!!!....T'was the minnow-like tongue that got me

.....the offers are drying up, and I live in an agricultural community

A farmer it is then,....with fresh breath AND some sort of NON fish like tongue ...COME ON GUYS!!!! We know you're out there!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, the world's supposed to end in 2012, right, according to the Mayan calendar? Geez, I've only got four years now.

It is???? ...in that case I shall apply for another credit card and MAX it out!!!!!!!!!!!!....we're all gonna die soon anywaY SO lets go out in style!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

LOL--lets go out in style! Sounds like a plan!

Funny as I type this REM's its the end of the world as we know it started to play on the radio.....Spooky!

[tom]

. ..

. . ..

OMG so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whoa nice rant!

<she said "minnow-like tongue - which I blocked, BTW">

. . .

.. . .

small & darting, rather than scaley I trust

[Darn210]

[oh and plus - - when the last guy tried to kiss me - - a furtive attempt w/ a minnow-like tongue - which I blocked, BTW - he had razor-sharp, cold lips, and reeked of onion............. <green-face here> BLECH! ]

OMGAWWWWDDD!!!!!

I think I dated him!! No actually twas a "group" night out thing . . . he offered to give me a ride there . . . 'bout have way through the night I realized "OH SH!T, I'm on a date" . . . but the attempted goodnight kiss . . . sounds very familiar . . . still makes me shudder. Was his name Frank?

[jerseyangel]

Feeling much better today, sillies. No trip to doctor will be required.

Good to hear--I had a feeling it was running it's course

<tom notices it's exactly 1/13th of a half-fortnight ago>

[oh and plus - - when the last guy tried to kiss me - - a furtive attempt w/ a minnow-like tongue - which I blocked, BTW - he had razor-sharp, cold lips, and reeked of onion............. <green-face here> BLECH! ]

Oh good Lord!!!!! (green-guy face)

It is???? ...in that case I shall apply for another credit card and MAX it out!!!!!!!!!!!!....we're all gonna die soon anywaY SO lets go out in style!!!!!!!!!

Yes--we shall all go out in style

[jerseyangel]

Well, got my first email entry on DH's phart chart a few minutes ago: 5. FIVE!! Remarkable. A week ago it was what, 65 by noon? I wait with bated breath for the final count at bedtime.....

Now what are we gonna do around here when we get bored and can't count Emily's husband's pharts?

Seriously, I'm thrilled about his response to the diet

[elye]

Oooh-la-La!!

Have I ever mentioned my 3-touchdown Thanksgiving Day game??

WOW!! A hattrick? A helmettrick.....(?)

GAH!! Bite your tongue, foreigner!!!!!!

Pretty much EVERY PLAY, I had to be as 'on the edge of seat' as one can possibly be during full reclination of a big comfy recliner

Sounds like a classic hover!

I dunno...I'm much more excited by the games that end in the last two minutes at 38-36...like in the Grey Cup!

Actually, as a foreigner, I had quite a vested interest in last night's game. Lawrence Tynes is a Canuck and was Ottawa's kicker for three of four years...till we folded.

Em!! FIVE!??????

<tom notices it's exactly 1/13th of a half-fortnight ago>

(phortnight??)

Oh! Update!!

Got the last email about an hour ago:

3:30 pm: 21

A considerable slowdown from last week, where at that point in the day he was at 70, or something. We'll wait to see what the famously active eveningtime will bring.....

Phecal Phat is phunny to say.

'Tis!

HEY!! Our next garage band!!

"So, Phecal Phat's playing at the Club Saturday night. Gotta get there."

[oh and plus - - when the last guy tried to kiss me - - a furtive attempt w/ a minnow-like tongue - which I blocked, BTW - he had razor-sharp, cold lips, and reeked of onion............. <green-face here> BLECH! ]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!

This is grossing us all out, I'm quick to see....

Something unsettlingly familiar in your description.....

It is....but Will (geddit Emily?) there be no one left to phart???? .....slightly tragic.....

Oh! But Gus produces more phlatulence than any other dog I know. Every time he sits down. Like clockwork......

I think I dated him!! No actually twas a "group" night out thing . . . he offered to give me a ride there . . . 'bout have way through the night I realized "OH SH!T, I'm on a date" . . . but the attempted goodnight kiss . . . sounds very familiar . . . still makes me shudder. Was his name Frank?

OHMYGAWWWWD.......is right.....

YES! I knew it all seemed so familiar!! I've dated him, too....Frank Morrison!!

[nikki-uk]

YES! I knew it all seemed so familiar!! I've dated him, too....Frank Morrison!!

No, no, it wasn't Frank.....GAD I can't remember ..so long ago.....erased it from my mind (I thought) 'til Susie's desciption brought it back like a Morning Glory Seed Cake flashback

[DingoGirl]

A farmer it is then,....with fresh breath AND some sort of NON fish like tongue ...COME ON GUYS!!!! We know you're out there!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenn and I ONLY got pharmers the other night whilst out carousing. They were incredibly, stultifyingly vapid and uninteresting and, oh, VERY VERY YOUNG.

small & darting, rather than scaley I trust

correct.

OMGAWWWWDDD!!!!!

I think I dated him!! No actually twas a "group" night out thing . . . he offered to give me a ride there . . . 'bout have way through the night I realized "OH SH!T, I'm on a date" . . . but the attempted goodnight kiss . . . sounds very familiar . . . still makes me shudder. Was his name Frank?

There WAS a Phrank, but he was not Minnow Tongue, no. This was not a Phrank. No names shall be given, please.

OHMYGAWWWWD.......is right.....

YES! I knew it all seemed so familiar!! I've dated him, too....Frank Morrison!!

sorry, again, no.

No, no, it wasn't Frank.....GAD I can't remember ..so long ago.....erased it from my mind (I thought) 'til Susie's desciption brought it back like a Morning Glory Seed Cake flashback

gahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

well, I can see you're all about as loopy as a herd of weed-eating pigs (was that from the OMG thread?) about the Minnow Tongue analogy. Just WAIT until I tell you about Sharks, Sucker Fish, Darter Fish, Groupers, Bottom Fish, and worst of all, the Tonsillectomy Fish. Yes, friends, these are all different types of kissers. BAD, bad kissers.

:lol:

[Darn210]

well, I can see you're all about as loopy as a herd of weed-eating pigs (was that from the OMG thread?) about the Minnow Tongue analogy. Just WAIT until I tell you about Sharks, Sucker Fish, Darter Fish, Groupers, Bottom Fish, and worst of all, the Tonsillectomy Fish. Yes, friends, these are all different types of kissers. BAD, bad kissers.

:lol:

. . . and don't forget about the leeches.

[Darn210]

Here's an off-topic question (yes, I consider it off-topic since it is a serious question):

To those who are or have ever been dairy free . . . Is goat chees OK or not?

[tom]

To those who are or have ever been dairy free . . . Is goat chees OK or not?

It is for me.

No idea about a % guess, but I've read it here & there.

[Jestgar]

Here's an off-topic question (yes, I consider it off-topic since it is a serious question):

To those who are or have ever been dairy free . . . Is goat chees OK or not?

I think it depends on why you're dairy free. If it's casein, then no. If its something else, than maybe, you'll just have to try it.

[DingoGirl]

. . . and don't forget about the leeches.

Leeches are what we call Sucker Fish. They're ALL fish. All the bad kissers will be described as follows, for your entertainment.

[i made these up in high school. Friends love them. ]

Shark: Visible teeth marks remain around the outside of the mouth after the session. One feels devoured, and not in a good way.

Sucker Fish: very unpleasant sucking mechanism in play whilst kissing; often accompanied by disquieting noises.

Bottom Fish: This is the very laaaazy kisser, with a fat blob of a tongue that just invades the mouth. Messy, wet, very bad.

Grouper: Similar to Bottom Fish, but even lazier and blobbier, rather invading the mouth like a.....well like a big, wet Grouper fish.

Darter Fish: Sharp, non-malleable, pointed, deeply probing tongue. Very dry and unfriendly kiss. Tongue can either just jab sharply in, or can rotate......either way, quite untenable.

Minnow: Slight, furtive motions with the very timid, wee tongue. Note: this one is the most trainable of the lot.

Stink Fish: Blech. The name says it all. However, one woman's stink could be another's bliss, so quite subjective.

:lol: :lol:

[tom]

I think it depends on why you're dairy free. If it's casein, then no. If its something else, than maybe, you'll just have to try it.

I've seen several mentions in the past about the goat & cow caseins being sufficiently different for some to have no reaction to one & be fine w/ the other.

Hmmmm where oh where did I see those?

. . . .

. .. .Note: this one is the most trainable of the lot.

[Darn210]

Leeches are what we call Sucker Fish. They're ALL fish. All the bad kissers will be described as follows, for your entertainment.

[i made these up in high school. Friends love them. ]

Shark: Visible teeth marks remain around the outside of the mouth after the session. One feels devoured, and not in a good way.

Sucker Fish: very unpleasant sucking mechanism in play whilst kissing; often accompanied by disquieting noises.

Bottom Fish: This is the very laaaazy kisser, with a fat blob of a tongue that just invades the mouth. Messy, wet, very bad.

Grouper: Similar to Bottom Fish, but even lazier and blobbier, rather invading the mouth like a.....well like a big, wet Grouper fish.

Darter Fish: Sharp, non-malleable, pointed, deeply probing tongue. Very dry and unfriendly kiss. Tongue can either just jab sharply in, or can rotate......either way, quite untenable.

Minnow: Slight, furtive motions with the very timid, wee tongue. Note: this one is the most trainable of the lot.

Stink Fish: Blech. The name says it all. However, one woman's stink could be another's bliss, so quite subjective.

:lol: :lol:

Yes, I will admit that I did once train a minnow . . .

Somehow, I thought the Grouper was going to be a Groper.

[jerseyangel]

Here's an off-topic question (yes, I consider it off-topic since it is a serious question):

To those who are or have ever been dairy free . . . Is goat chees OK or not?

I haven't tried goat cheese, but after 3 years dairy free, I can tolerate a little sheep's milk cheese.

Bottom Fish: This is the very laaaazy kisser, with a fat blob of a tongue that just invades the mouth. Messy, wet, very bad.

The worst of the bunch, in my opinion. Of course in my case, we're talking ancient history Some things you just never forget--like trying to wipe off one's face without hurting the fish's feelings

[tom]

Yes, I will admit that I did once train a minnow . . .

Didn't THE MINNOW TRAINERS open for CBC or BASP?

Was that YOU TWO??!!!

[elye]

Somehow, I thought the Grouper was going to be a Groper.

Gad....that's a whole other animal.......

[Darn210]

I haven't tried goat cheese, but after 3 years dairy free, I can tolerate a little sheep's milk cheese.

The worst of the bunch, in my opinion. Of course in my case, we're talking ancient history Some things you just never forget--like trying to wipe off one's face without hurting the fish's feelings

Patti!!!

[dlp252]

Here's an off-topic question (yes, I consider it off-topic since it is a serious question):

To those who are or have ever been dairy free . . . Is goat chees OK or not?

I can't do goat... My issue is with the casein and apparently it isn't different enough for me. I LOVE goat cheese...makes me spit nails that I can't have it. Like Patti, I can tolerate a tiny bit of sheep milk yogurt (only once per week though).

[tom]

I should specify that I only go for the 'fresh' goat cheeses, not aged.

So, it's feta, mozzarella & chevre. yum