The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

PATTI!!!!!!! That's just crazy talk Taking or not taking that job is far from a defining moment in Patti-dom.

Heehee Les' bathroom scale

[nikki-uk]

Hi all,

I don't think I'm gonna take the job What a loser

Then, to make this day complete, I get a call from my regular doctor's office this afternoon to tell me my liver enzymes are elevated and they want to re-do the blood test tomorrow morning.

Gawd.

Patti!!!.......don't make me get angry!! ....you are most definitely NOT a loser!!!!!!!

Let us know how the re-test goes

T'is a rather grey, wet, dull St Georges day here in blighty .......nothing to do but chores

...but first a rather cheeky joke.......

A lady in her late 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift.

The doctor told her of a new procedure called ?The dial? where a

small dial is planted on the back of the head and can be turned to

tighten up the skin to produce the effect of a facelift.

Of course, the woman wanted 'The dial', had the surgery and all

was well.

Fifteen years later the woman went back to the surgeon. "All these

years everything had been working just fine.", she started, "I've

had to turn the dial on lots of occasions and I've loved the results.

But I seemed to have developed two annoying problems with my

face." "Go on" the doctor said. "First of all", she continued, "I've

got these terrible bags under my eyes and the dial won't get rid of

them."

The doctor looked at her and said, "I'm afraid those aren't bags,

those are your breasts."

She replied, "Ah, I guess that explains the goatee as well."

....on with the vacuuming

[jerseyangel]

She replied, "Ah, I guess that explains the goatee as well."

Gawd!

Thanks, gang--I really felt bad yesterday after just not being able to shake the anxiety about this whole thing. It's irrational, I know, but it's like this "thing" I can't get around in my mind. I do have a good "radar" about things, too, and perhaps this was it's way of telling me this wasn't a good move .....either way, it's so good to have friends like ya'll

So, I'm drinking my water, and getting ready to go for the blood draw. Hopefully it's a lab issue like Amanda suggested. Could also be all the Tylenol I use for my neck Julie, I didn't realize you still had liver issues going on. I'll keep you posted

We are having the most incredible spring weather! It's sunny and expected to go up into the mid 70's....all week! One of those days you want to take a big bite out of

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies!

So today is admin. professionals day so we are having a breakfast....I have been dressed for an hour I am at work 5 minutes and now I am dirty, I splashed cherry juice on my skirt....now I am dirty.

[elye]

Morning, Sillies!

Went out and gave my tree a BIG hug this morning. Then I came in and walked by my husband. HA! Something a little wrong, here.....

Patti! You're likely having the test redone as we speak. I had a high false reading on my potassium levels not long ago, which scared me back for a redo. It was the same type of technical error that Amanda speaks of. So NO WORRIES.....

Peter! Are you back online at work?....Did we already get a report on this?...cannot recall...just that you needed to get away from that place for a day or two...

I've been noticing the weather in FLA these past days, all due to Son of Silly. Rain today and tomorrow, Nikki....but who cares? It's DISNEY! They probably have big umbrellas walking about, ready to open up around you...

A nekkid tree hugging lady, but something is missing.......must pound pots and pans over head whilst turning clockwise one quarter turn facing each direction.

That will really give them something to talk about.

Hey, if it would save my tree's life.....

Our neighboUrs behind us are an elderly Chinese couple, and he is out every morning at 6 am, perched on his picnic table, executing some mesmerising tai chi moves. So the pots and pans would either greatly add to the understated drama, or destroy the moment of peace....

[Darn210]

Morning Sillies!

So today is admin. professionals day so we are having a breakfast....I have been dressed for an hour I am at work 5 minutes and now I am dirty, I splashed cherry juice on my skirt....now I am dirty.

Ahhhhhh Amanda . . . consider this practice for when you have kids . . . spitting up on you, wiping their nose on you, grabbing your white shirt with their grubby little fingers . . . good stuff like that . . . most of the time it happens right after you leave the house and can't do anything about it!!

So for Earth Day . . . my husband and I cut out/dug up two bushes . . . hmmm, timing's not so good, eh? . . . but we planned to plant something more beautimous there instead of the two scrubbly bushes that were taking up the space!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

So one of my coworkers is being very evil today...should we send her some Yeti poop to let her know that is how she is treating people???

[jerseyangel]

So one of my coworkers is being very evil today...should we send her some Yeti poop to let her know that is how she is treating people???

Yes! Flaming Yeti poop--that'll fix her

You're having too good a day to let some meanie get to you--ignore her

[Jestgar]

Hey, if it would save my tree's life.....

Our neighboUrs behind us are an elderly Chinese couple, and he is out every morning at 6 am, perched on his picnic table, executing some mesmerising tai chi moves. So the pots and pans would either greatly add to the understated drama, or destroy the moment of peace....

I read this as:

Our neighbours behind us use an elderly Chinese couple...

I was imagining a town where you employ people from other cultures to hug your tree.

Is it that they're Chinese that's the key? Or that they're elderly? Or do you actually need the combination?

[blueeyedmanda]

Yes! Flaming Yeti poop--that'll fix her

You're having too good a day to let some meanie get to you--ignore her

Oh she hasn't bothered me, I ignore her....

OMG Sillies, this you will find funny! So one coworker brought a veggie tray premade from the store for breakfast, and when I went to open it this terrible smell came rising out......it has went through our entire office and in the hallway, we had a good laugh about it but this whole place smells like someone left the worst "D" bomb ever.....

So the girl who brought it is in a meeting so we have to tell her yet that it is bad. It was packed yesterday and there are no signs of rot but something is not good with it at all....

more later!

I am off to lunch!!!!! BYe Sillies!

[elye]

Ahhhhhh Amanda . . . consider this practice for when you have kids . . . spitting up on you, wiping their nose on you, grabbing your white shirt with their grubby little fingers . . . good stuff like that . . . most of the time it happens right after you leave the house and can't do anything about it!!

OMG....yes, I remember those days well. Poop is the best....somehow swiped across a white sleeve....

So for Earth Day . . . my husband and I cut out/dug up two bushes . . . hmmm, timing's not so good, eh? . . . but we planned to plant something more beautimous there instead of the two scrubbly bushes that were taking up the space!!!

Hey, you were doing somefin' with the earth...good enough for me.

So one of my coworkers is being very evil today...should we send her some Yeti poop to let her know that is how she is treating people???

Hey!! Is this the same heinous chick who you've had trouble with before? To hell with the yeti's poop....send the yeti himself over to her desk. He can look mighty mean if instructed to do so....

I read this as:

Our neighbours behind us use an elderly Chinese couple...

I was imagining a town where you employ people from other cultures to hug your tree.

Is it that they're Chinese that's the key? Or that they're elderly? Or do you actually need the combination?

I would imagine both are needed....

Actually, there may be a market for this. Who has time, with kids, a job, a house, to fit in meditative practices like tai chi, tree-hugging, etc.? This could be an entire industry....one could hire an elderly Chinese person to do it for you as you run around doing the essentials. I must suggest this to Mr. Chong behind us...surprisingly, I'm certain he's never considered the idea.

Susie! Could you do this kind of job? You're looking for some part-time employment....

But wait....you're not elderly nor Chinese....

[elye]

So one coworker brought a veggie tray premade from the store for breakfast, and when I went to open it this terrible smell came rising out......it has went through our entire office and in the hallway, we had a good laugh about it but this whole place smells like someone left the worst "D" bomb ever.....

Well....I haven't heard that one before. "Honestly, it was a vegetable tray that was brought in!! Really, man!"

[Darn210]

Susie! Could you do this kind of job? You're looking for some part-time employment....

But wait....you're not elderly nor Chinese....

Well, I'm sure your dad could give her a few tips . . . or perhaps the ladies from the EM thread . . . add a fake accent and voila', Susie's an elderly Chinese tree-hugging stress reducer surrogate.

[Darn210]

Well....I haven't heard that one before. "Honestly, it was a vegetable tray that was brought in!! Really, man!"

Well, I guess since there's not too many dogs running around the hospital, they just had to improvise with what they had. OK, so here's the question . . . Amanda, who was the first one to take the plastic off of the tray . . . who smelt it first????

[jerseyangel]

Ha--I was going to say the same thing Amanda--no dog to pin it on....so blame it on the veggie tray

[jerseyangel]

. . . who smelt it first????

Yeah, 'cause he who smelt it, dealt it

[tom]

. . . add a fake accent and voila', Susie's an elderly Chinese tree-hugging stress reducer surrogate.

:lol:

And I was just reading about increasing demand in the e.C.t.h.s.r.s. field!!!!!!

"it was the vegetable tray" lol

[blueeyedmanda]

Ha-ha guys! Not even on one of my foulest days can I produce something that petrid!

I think a shot of Asbthine should cure it though!

Send some green fairies our way!

[Jestgar]

Brief whiny rant.

Went to the dermatologist for a rash on my face. He said it's dermatitis that's exacerbated by my psoriasis. He wants me to start taking methotrexate (a cytotoxin) and stop eating sugar, carbs, and alcohol. So no more fruit, rice crackers, wine. Nothing that I can just throw in my backpack and take to work. Just what are you supposed to eat when you can't eat grains, or fruits, or dairy, or beans, and don't like meat?? How many days can I live on frozen shrimp and bell peppers??

I am so frickin' tired of having to schedule my life around preparing food!!!!

I hate this i hate this i hate this ihatethisIHATETHIS

ok

There's nothing more to see here. Y'all go back to what you were doing.

[elye]

Well, I'm sure your dad could give her a few tips . . . or perhaps the ladies from the EM thread . . . add a fake accent and voila', Susie's an elderly Chinese tree-hugging stress reducer surrogate.

Janet! You saw my dad's E.C.T.S.R.S in the last season of his show!

Ha--I was going to say the same thing Amanda--no dog to pin it on....so blame it on the veggie tray

The phunny thing is, it really was a veggie tray, and yet if you made this story up, people would say, "Ah, c'mon...ya gotta change the part about it being a veggie tray. That putrid a stench just can't come from there. it's too unbelievable".....

I am so frickin' tired of having to schedule my life around preparing food!!!!

I hate this i hate this i hate this ihatethisIHATETHIS

Jess!! This is seriously unsilly...I am sorry you're suddenly so restricted. You cannot stop eating all carbs...WTH is he talking about?

[nikki-uk]

I've been noticing the weather in FLA these past days, all due to Son of Silly. Rain today and tomorrow, Nikki....but who cares? It's DISNEY! They probably have big umbrellas walking about, ready to open up around you...

The important thing to remember Em is that it's warm rain

but we planned to plant something more beautimous there instead of the two scrubbly bushes that were taking up the space!!!

Beautimous ....is that a word???

I must use it more !!

I read this as:

Our neighbours behind us use an elderly Chinese couple...

Is it that they're Chinese that's the key? Or that they're elderly? Or do you actually need the combination?

I suspect it needs the combination of chinese/elderly factors

Hey!! Is this the same heinous chick who you've had trouble with before? To hell with the yeti's poop....send the yeti himself over to her desk. He can look mighty mean if instructed to do so....

...the earliest the Yeti can get mean is Monday morn.....he's just having such a blast with Al

Susie! Could you do this kind of job? You're looking for some part-time employment....

But wait....you're not elderly nor Chinese....

as Janet said ...get the mineral cult girls over and I've got a satin 'chinese' style dress she can wear

Brief whiny rant.

Went to the dermatologist for a rash on my face. He said it's dermatitis that's exacerbated by my psoriasis. He wants me to start taking methotrexate (a cytotoxin) and stop eating sugar, carbs, and alcohol. So no more fruit, rice crackers, wine. Nothing that I can just throw in my backpack and take to work. Just what are you supposed to eat when you can't eat grains, or fruits, or dairy, or beans, and don't like meat?? How many days can I live on frozen shrimp and bell peppers??

I am so frickin' tired of having to schedule my life around preparing food!!!!

I hate this i hate this i hate this ihatethisIHATETHIS

ok

There's nothing more to see here. Y'all go back to what you were doing.

Eeeek - rant away m'dear

...not much advise on the phoody phront (I suspect Phatauoghmn can help here) but

METHOTREXATE??????

Oh GADS - pretty big guns

Terry was rx'd this for psoriatic Arthritis.....eeeevil stuff....made him vomit/extremely nauseous ...HAD to discontinue......

Proceed with caution

[Jestgar]

Terry was rx'd this for psoriatic Arthritis.....eeeevil stuff....made him vomit/extremely nauseous ...HAD to discontinue......

Proceed with caution

How much/how often was he taking it? He wants me to do 15mg one day a week.

[nikki-uk]

How much/how often was he taking it? He wants me to do 15mg one day a week.

Sending you a pm (unphunny )

[Jestgar]

Oh yes, the pressure to be funny.

Lets see what's in my mailbox....

QQ plots.....no

nerdly science stuff...already posted

hmmm, guess I'll have to think about this as I finish off the 4 bottles of wine I need to consume before starting this nasty medicine on Saturday.

And a bit of scotch

Oh, and that last glass of rum

Dang! I had no idea I had so much to do at home. Better leave work early.

[Green12]

It's DISNEY! They probably have big umbrellas walking about, ready to open up around you...

Our neighboUrs behind us are an elderly Chinese couple, and he is out every morning at 6 am, perched on his picnic table, executing some mesmerising tai chi moves. So the pots and pans would either greatly add to the understated drama, or destroy the moment of peace....

Disney's umbrellas that magically open up around you at the first drop of rain- how Disney of them

Perhaps if you were to bang on the pots in a ritualistic fashion? I think it would add an extra something something to his tai chi practice

So one coworker brought a veggie tray premade from the store for breakfast, and when I went to open it this terrible smell came rising out......it has went through our entire office and in the hallway, we had a good laugh about it but this whole place smells like someone left the worst "D" bomb ever.....

So the girl who brought it is in a meeting so we have to tell her yet that it is bad. It was packed yesterday and there are no signs of rot but something is not good with it at all....

Is there by chance raw broccoli on said veggie tray??

If so raw broccoli, can have the most putred smell if the conditions are set up just right, i.e on a veggie tray that air got into.

Susie! Could you do this kind of job? You're looking for some part-time employment....

But wait....you're not elderly nor Chinese....

She does have the pots and pans banging down, and there is the symbolic Iroquois skull crusher she could take to the tree hugging rituals......I think the elderly and Chinese part could be overlooked in her case.

Yeah, 'cause he who smelt it, dealt it

Patti!!!!!

OMG! This is the first post I read when checking in today, practically fell out of my chair

Went to the dermatologist for a rash on my face. He said it's dermatitis that's exacerbated by my psoriasis. He wants me to start taking methotrexate (a cytotoxin) and stop eating sugar, carbs, and alcohol. So no more fruit, rice crackers, wine. Nothing that I can just throw in my backpack and take to work. Just what are you supposed to eat when you can't eat grains, or fruits, or dairy, or beans, and don't like meat?? How many days can I live on frozen shrimp and bell peppers??

I am so frickin' tired of having to schedule my life around preparing food!!!!

Oh no Jess it's not your EM makeup making things worse is it?? I sure hope not.....

I've been pretty restricted with foods for quite a while now, but I eat meat and poultry. That's going to be a huge challenge to cut all that out and not eat meat.

I guess you will have to be creative with fish and veggies. Can you do avocadoes? Those will at least help keep you full. Tuna? Salmon? Halibut?

Terry was rx'd this for psoriatic Arthritis.....eeeevil stuff....made him vomit/extremely nauseous ...HAD to discontinue......

Proceed with caution

Nikki, heinous!!! I am sorry Mr. Nikki had to go through that

So day 3 of Operation Target Expanded Bottom here, treadmill has not been used yet