The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Souczie--

I must be a dweeb, but I enjoy jury duty Or I would if I could ever really serve I was called twice in Jersey.....phirst time I was put on a jury, only to be disqualified by one of the lawyers

The second time, I had to sit through a long day of jury selection....but was never called.

The people at the courthouse were really nice, though Phunny thing--about a month ago, I got another jury summons from Jersey--more than a year after moving out of state

[Jestgar]

I would love to be on a jury, but I doubt it'll ever happen.

Pull the GI card. Tell them you explosive diarrhea and may have to run for the bathroom without warning and could you please sit near the door?

[elye]

I would love to be on a jury, but I doubt it'll ever happen.

Pull the GI card. Tell them you explosive diarrhea and may have to run for the bathroom without warning and could you please sit near the door?

Yes! And make it true - - eat a huge plate of pasta before you head in for day one.

[DingoGirl]

I would love to be on a jury, but I doubt it'll ever happen.

Pull the GI card. Tell them you explosive diarrhea and may have to run for the bathroom without warning and could you please sit near the door?

good one.

Here's what I wonder - - do you get to find out what the trial's about BEFORE you get selected? Because this will depend on whether I want to serve and am FIT to serve.

Because, if I don't like the subject matter, or don't understand it (let's say there's some sort of accounting/mathS or tax malfeasance, for example ), is that when I act completely mental and start grabbing invisible things in the air and barking? :lol:

[jerseyangel]

Here's what I wonder - - do you get to find out what the trial's about BEFORE you get selected? Because this will depend on whether I want to serve and am FIT to serve.

I don't know it it's the same everywhere, but we were told right after we were seated in the courtroom and before the actual selection process started.

[curlyfries]

I have been summoned twice. The first time....many years ago.....I was selected, but on the first day of trial, someone for the prosecution didn't show up, so it was canned.

The second one.....about a year ago......when they asked if anyone had a valid reason for not serving, I told them that, with my fibromyalgia, I could not sit in those chairs for an extended amount of time. There were others with serious health issues, and none of us were dismissed. Once we learned what the trial was about, again they asked if anyone felt they would not to be able to serve. It was a child molestation case . I had my reasons. In the end I was not selected, but I still had to sit thru the whole selection process. I don't think it's as easy to get out of it as it once was.

[DingoGirl]

.I don't think it's as easy to get out of it as it once was.

<scratching chin>

pondering Em's plate o' gluten idea.......I'm thinking that explosive diarrhea might help. Down the pants leg and such.....one would surely have to be dismissed?

SILLIES I have discovered the most phab new shampoo - - seems to be entirely free of gluten also. It's now at Walmart, L'Oreal EverPure Sulfate-Phree ColoUr Care System - - sulfate/chemical/salt free, in sets of 3 (shampoo, conditioner, deep masque) marked down from $10 to $5. I read about it on MakeupAlley.com and went straight over to The Walmart. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Back to the Tika Shrine - have finally figured it all out and am painting the niche/alcove/whatever-in-hell you call that thingy off my kitchen. Am so excited. Fotos later on the 'book. Her ashes will be on the hanging wall thing w/ shelf (a free metal sculpture thingy that is so unbelievably phabulous and coveted by many) with many, many photos, religious icons, etc. Can't wait Just now goign to glaze over the dark paint in a metallic gold shimmer............. POSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(speaking of POSH, am burning large Vanilla candle here too, Nik)

[elye]

Back to the Tika Shrine - have finally figured it all out and am painting the niche/alcove/whatever-in-hell you call that thingy off my kitchen. Am so excited.

Sooozie! This sounds beautiful. What a wondrous li'l place this will be. . . . . ...

Yes, the fecal-matter-down-the-leg will absolutely work. Not only will you be dismissed from this case, they may actually keep yer name on recond - - the Unsummonable File. .. ..... ..

[nikki-uk]

pondering Em's plate o' gluten idea.......I'm thinking that explosive diarrhea might help. Down the pants leg and such.....one would surely have to be dismissed?

*snort*.... a tad smelly too!

Mebe it'll convince the miscreant to plead guilty (just to get away)

Everyone's a winner!!

(speaking of POSH, am burning large Vanilla candle here too, Nik)

I seriously hope you are burning for the requisite amount of time and no over zealous snipping off of wicks!!!!!!!

[Jestgar]

Yes, the fecal-matter-down-the-leg will absolutely work. Not only will you be dismissed from this case, they may actually keep yer name on recond - - the Unsummonable File. .. ..... ..

ooooh. D'ya suppose there's a way to get onto this without ruining your jeans?

[Jestgar]

My neighbor recently had post-mastectomy reconstructive surgery, so today I got to say something I thought I would never utter:

Cynthia! Show me your boobs! :lol:

[tom]

Cynthia! Show me your boobs! :lol:

Well? How are they??

Didja bring plastic bead necklaces?

[tom]

Aii!! a little late for Rudolphatar . ...hmmmm how 'bout ... .a phaerie's eyeball/bulb that kinda looks like mine.

[JNBunnie1]

ooooh. D'ya suppose there's a way to get onto this without ruining your jeans?

Yeah- instead of diarhea, vomit on someone. Then you'll both get out of it.

[Jestgar]

Well? How are they??

Didja bring plastic bead necklaces?

Her boobs are beautiful

She's planning a "coming out" party to celebrate. All girls in tight, low shirts so we're all 'coming out'.

[elye]

ooooh. D'ya suppose there's a way to get onto this without ruining your jeans?

Ahhhh, c'mon....they wouldn't be ruined..... . . heavy-duty wash cycle, and they're good to go again. So, yer jeans wouldn't be ruined, but your reputation as a normally-functioning individual most certainly would be. . . . ....

OMG Psillies. .. . . ...!!! Went to that unbee-LEE-vable hockey game last night, and all I did was scream. And scream. And scream. At the very end, when Canada scored to tie it at 5 with 5.4 seconds left on the clock, I must have screamed, non-stop, for thirty straight seconds. This is not smart, nor recommended. I cannot speak today.. .. . voice is a dull croak.

Wonder if this would get me out of jury duty?

This house is so......different....so...weird............without the sound of my constant discourse, musings, instructions, singing, carrying through the air.. . . ..

Everyone quite likes it, apparently.

Ptaoughmghmn!! Great to read you....Happy New Year! Have you been following the Junior Hockey matchups?

Jess is gonna bring out her boobs!

[elye]

GAAAAHHHH!!! 4000 posts!!!!!

[Jestgar]

OMG Psillies. .. . . ...!!! Went to that unbee-LEE-vable hockey game last night, and all I did was scream. And scream. And scream.

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[DingoGirl]

I seriously hope you are burning for the requisite amount of time and no over zealous snipping off of wicks!!!!!!!

well, natch, you silly! I AM the Candle Oracle

am going to melt and make new ones out of the old ones, in fact.....quite laborious -

My neighbor recently had post-mastectomy reconstructive surgery, so today I got to say something I thought I would never utter:

Cynthia! Show me your boobs!

Oh excellent!!!! I have a friend who will flash her gloriously fake (and maddeningly natural-looking) boobs to anyone who asks.....or doesn't ask, for that matter

Well? How are they??

Didja bring plastic bead necklaces?

Ptaum!!!!!!!!!!

Love yer av Just had my third brand of absinthe, over at Gail's. have had:

Kubler - tastes like gASSoline

La Muse Verte - only slightly better

St. George - this was me favorite

Yeah- instead of diarhea, vomit on someone. Then you'll both get out of it.

Brilliant! I can very easily eat too much food and then stick my finger down me throat

Her boobs are beautiful

She's planning a "coming out" party to celebrate. All girls in tight, low shirts so we're all 'coming out'.

not fair!!!!!!! would never work for me!!!!!!!!!!!

and there's Jess, trying to suck me in with Musical Torture

This house is so......different....so...weird............without the sound of my constant discourse, musings, instructions, singing, carrying through the air.. . . ..

Everyone quite likes it, apparently.

:lol:

[nikki-uk]

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well, natch, you silly! I AM the Candle Oracle

am going to melt and make new ones out of the old ones, in fact.....quite laborious -

MAKE new ones out of old????

Does indeed sound la-BORE-ious - - - but I am intrigued oh candle oracle.........HOW???

<Talking of 'oracles' my bin oracle has spoken (little old lady next door) ...she ALWAYS knows when to put the bins out >

I have a friend who will flash her gloriously fake (and maddeningly natural-looking) boobs to anyone who asks.....or doesn't ask, for that matter

I have a friend who had a double mastectomy.......they made her new ones from her stomach!!!

OMG!!! FABULOUS knockers!!!! (also a flasher )

St. George - this was me favorite

Of course!! English???? <none for me...on the wagon>

I am MOST excited!!! Kids back to school tomorrow!....and AT LAST t'is Twelfth Night tomorrow so The Twa shall be very busy helping me take down the tree and decorations

SOOOOoo very, very cold here (for us temperate peeps)

MINUS 7 last night!!!!!

I want one of those 'all-in-one' undergarments wiv a bum flap they had in the Westerns!!! (has it got a name? )

[Jestgar]

I have a friend who had a double mastectomy.......they made her new ones from her stomach!!!

OMG!!! FABULOUS knockers!!!! (also a flasher )

:o

A tummy tuck and gnu gnockers in one fell swoop?? Brilliant!

[elye]

well, natch, you silly! I AM the Candle Oracle

am going to melt and make new ones out of the old ones, in fact.....quite laborious -

Dear gawd.....wif candles? Have done this with lipsticks. . . .rather interesting, as I'm never sure what coloUr(s) I'll end up with. But a super way to utilize those old, half-used, never-quite-the-right-shade Cliniques and Revlons.

Cannot imagine managing this with candles . . . ........

AND - - lipsticks won't burn me house down!

Love yer av Just had my third brand of absinthe, over at Gail's. have had:

Kubler - tastes like gASSoline

La Muse Verte - only slightly better

St. George - this was me favorite

'Tis funny.... . . . .the absinthe I picked up in Mont Tremblant Village just has, in lovely, cryptic script across the front label, "ABSENTE", with some French writing on the back. Nowhere does it say the company, brand name or country of origin (I assume it's France).

Perhaps it's Burundi. Now, that would phreak me out. . . ..

<Talking of 'oracles' my bin oracle has spoken (little old lady next door) ...she ALWAYS knows when to put the bins out >

Are these garbage bins? Are they not put out on the same night every week? Ah...there was a holiday this week, so it did change somewhat. That li'l ol' lady is on the ball!. . . . ...

I wanna bum-phlap thingie too, Nik! In fact, I think ALL of our clothes, not just long johns, should have big bum/right-under-to-the-front phlaps. Jeans, shorts, dress pants........there'd be NO need for zippers or buttons in front that stick.....velcro phlaps.....yes, 'tis a good plan . . .. ..

[Jestgar]

Dear gawd.....wif candles? Have done this with lipsticks. . . .rather interesting, as I'm never sure what coloUr(s) I'll end up with. But a super way to utilize those old, half-used, never-quite-the-right-shade Cliniques and Revlons.

Cannot imagine managing this with candles . . . ........

AND - - lipsticks won't burn me house down!

I throw my old lipsticks in my various bags and use them as lip balm. It's ok to have neon pink lips at the grocery store, isn't it?

[elye]

I throw my old lipsticks in my various bags and use them as lip balm. It's ok to have neon pink lips at the grocery store, isn't it?

[tom]

OMG Psillies. .. . . ...!!! Went to that unbee-LEE-vable hockey game last night, and all I did was scream. And scream. And scream. At the very end, when Canada scored to tie it at 5 with 5.4 seconds left on the clock, I must have screamed, non-stop, for thirty straight seconds.

:lol: Love the sports enthusiasm!!!!

Awesome av too!!

Have you been following the Junior Hockey matchups?

This event may, more than any other, highlight the sporting differences on opposing sides of the St Lawrence.

I'm aware that Jr League Hockey exists, but only because it's mentioned regarding the NHL draft.

In the US, the NHL itself has been abandoned by national tv for lack of ratings. The outdoor game on Jan1 was on and the playoffs get some nat'l tv, but even ESPN gave up on it and THEY air ppl PLAYING CARDS!!!!!! :blink:

Needless to say, the Juniors get no airtime, world championships or not.

There's a High School football all-star game on nationally soon tho.

Love yer av Just had my third brand of absinthe, over at Gail's. have had:

Kubler - tastes like gASSoline

La Muse Verte - only slightly better

St. George - this was me favoUrite

You gotta try Lucid!!!!!!

Which was at Gail's? (Oh wait. .. .I think I know .. .La Muse!)

I saw La Muse at BevMo the other day, and 3 others I haven't had.

But reviewers mostly hate one of the 3, Le Tourmant, w/ artificial coloUrs like Scope and sticky sweet.

St George seemed so different, what w/ starting w/ a brandy base.

I want one of those 'all-in-one' undergarments wiv a bum flap they had in the Westerns!!! (has it got a name? )

Hehe-heehee I had those!!!!!!

Mom got us all some as a bit of a joke one xmas when we were 20-somethings.

They actually got much use by the Alaskan brothers.

Flap & all lol

Hmmmm ... what were they called .. ...maybe "union-something" .. ..bah

Brain getting better but not quickly enough.

I *so* miss having it WHIR like a brand new Juiceman.

I'm hoping the badness lately is entirely from some food compromises made, for various reasons.