The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies

Tis 9:21 am and I am already sick of stupid people....and the countdown till 4:30 begins.

You all look like you had a phun philled wkend. I didnt have must time to jump on and post. Rained so much Thurs-Sat I was thinking it was time to start construction on me ark. Now it seems like we are getting summer like weather again.

I am so glad I got headphones too at my desk- they are coming in handy today- seems like everyone is surfing the crimson wave....

so I am sitting hear rocking out to Power Ballads on winamp and eating Glutino Pretzels and Peanut Butter...and just ignoring the chaos surrounding me!

[jerseyangel]

I hope yer run goes well, Em

Amanda--it's been raining here for several days, too. We need it, but enough is enough. Hope your day picks up

On Saturday we received in the mail a plaster heart wif Allo's wee paw print and handwritten at the top of the heart was his name and 1991-2009. His vet had this done. We had no idea about it, it came as a complete surprise.

Bah--can't get the pic to upload.

[ranger]

..............AFTER SEEING PEOTRS PHEET.....................HAVE TO TAKE TO THE BED..................................CAN'T POST UNTIL I RECOVER.......................NEED RUSHIN VODKA, BUT DON'T HAVE ANY..................HAVE BERUNDIAN VOd KA!

[jerseyangel]

Patteigh, gotta tell ya, there is something magical about that av of your'n....the way the edges are smudged and blurred off at the edges

I was playin wif me digital image editor

Sleuwzin is a TWA!!!!

Well whaddya know!!

Sorry you asked?

PeOter's pheet! Ya did it

The image must be on an accessible site which allows hot links (I use photobucket.com). Wrap the url for the image in the tags.

An Oracle pheet pheat, evidently

[psawyer]

Holy cow! Who knew my pheet were so scary? I phrightened everybuddy away.

[elye]

On Saturday we received in the mail a plaster heart wif Allo's wee paw print and handwritten at the top of the heart was his name and 1991-2009. His vet had this done. We had no idea about it, it came as a complete surprise.

Wow...that is SOooOo nice, Patteigh. Allo was eighteen?? Amazing....just shows you how a much-loved, so well-cared for animal can thrive and live a very long time.

Forgot to talk to Soooozle about standard poodles from yesterday! I am in agreement wif ya, Sooooze, certainly to an extent. I have found that the bigger the poodle, however, the more endearing, the more fun, the more like DOGS they are. I have always picked my pups carefully, from people who breed them big and as wide as they'll get.

Gus is a big boy - - over eighty pounds, and he's got a great, wide chest. His face is wide, too - -he looks very like the retriever that these dogs really are.

Elsie was a rescue, so I couldn't pick and choose. But she is also big.....lucky us!

Hmmm....I pick my dogs this way.. . ....just trying to think if I always picked my men using such a protocol. Always tall guys.... ...I dated a couple of blokes with wide faces........don't think it made them more like retrievers, though, and they certainly did NOT retrieve things for me, like my purse when dropped, or a bouquet of flowers when the situation screamed for one... . .....

[Mtndog]

Omgawd.you guys are outta control :lol: Everytime I come on I pheel like I have to learn a new language OK- before I catch up I just have to say "Hold me, I'm scared" because I am taking a break from WORK to catch up- work? What is this? I am so confuzzled. I have 20 papers to grade and I haven't even met these people yet! Help me! Why do you have to do so much homework when you is da teacher!!!!!!!!!!!

Paddeigh- Your pheet are not just hot- they are SMOKIN- between the feets, the polish (British Red Coat by OPI is my best guess) and the sexy sandals! Be careful- your av may end up on a foot fetish site! :lol:

I love the heart with Allo's print in it that your vet sent you- it brought a tear to my eye

All right, all! Show us yer feet! POeter, we've seen yer balls -- time to take your SHOES off . .. . . . . ....

Bwa ha ha! And then he did and we were all silent. For a man, those are GREAT feet! But, the question is, HOW do they smell?

Geoss is wreaking more havoc on her island! Love it! And padT has cows walking by in TexASS.

Suzzle- I think when you are pre, during and post-menstrual you should automatically be entitled to endless poutine!!!!!

Bunnie's Kiss Me (pheet ). The royal phalanges are conservative and well-groomed as is becoming of royalty.

So, here is the query: if one were to throw up while being dropped at breakneck speed, would the vomit travel upward or downward? Perhaps it would go up and you would meet it as you climbed back upwards after the drop.

The bog Topsfield Phair is here in 3 weeks- I could experiment and let you know- I believe what goes up (vomit) must come down (vomit).

And yes- this year there will be cosmo drinking and trampoline jumping (but not necessarily in that order) as I have had enuff of behaving!

I think I've found some common ground among us....

1. None of us seem to be anal-retentive house cleaners.

2. All seem to have a drinking problem.

3. There seems to be some sexual deviouncy going on, but I can't put my finger on it yet.

Sleezan- You got us right! I do believe drinking problem is an oxymoron- it's not a problem unless you run out!

I missed Ptaum- how are you? We miss you! I have decided I am ready for football because what the heck else am I gonna do all winter on cold Sundays. It's a good excuse to eat like a pig and drink. But here's my conundrum. I am annoyed by the fans of my New England sports teams (ah...Red Sox Nation and the Pats) so I don't know who to root for. Would love any input.

Did someone say Favre, as in Brett favre? Sigh.... He seems like a nice guy your mom would love.

You guys wanna see some intense finger-toes, I should put up a picture of the boyfriend's feet. He's 6'5'' and his feet match!

You go Bunnie! You know what they say.....hmm, what about his thumbs? <SNORT>

OMG. . . . .........I think I've just realized something BIG.

She is from BURUNDI.

Sleuwzin is a TWA!!!!

Em x 10

Shave off half and let's find out.

Oh My!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gotta photograph me pheet but the camera is in Boston in the back of Kurt's care. Excellent- time enough to polish!

[elye]

Why do you have to do so much homework when you is da teacher!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, Bevel! And I'll bet there's especially a lot of marking/reading with a correspondence course . .. .. .think I'd go mental.......

It's a good excuse to eat like a pig and drink.

Anything and everything is a good excuse.

[ranger]

Petter- I did not slither under the bed because I loaphe yer feete, but rather I luphe your feet! They are MAGNIFICENT!

Emaalox, you got me. I have been hiding as a Rushin double-spy, but am actually living in a secret encave in Arizona as a Burundian. I just got so sick of those Tootsie's always rapin me and stealing me vod Ka. Hell, we gots the same sun in Az, and I don't have to worry about all dat udder stuff. Got me an old car ro live in, a few chickens, and all I have to do is learn to read and rite English. I'll do that, soon. For now my black Burundian ass is happy.

Got to run. Sorry about yer dog, but great vet.

Sleezella vin Demorouex

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies-

Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer today. Such a sad thing.

[jerseyangel]

Sillies-

Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer today. Such a sad thing.

We got in a little while ago and saw that he had passed away

[nikki-uk]

Sillies-

Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer today. Such a sad thing.

A sad start to the day

I fell in love with him a bit in 'Dirty dancing'

[elye]

Good Morning, peeps!

Yes, Patrick's death.... .. ....so sad, and pancreatic cancer is a really tough way to go.

Does anyone else automatically think of undiagnosed gluten intolerance/celiac when an individual dies of any cancer even remotely related to the gastrointestinal system? It's an automatic now for me.....I guess I'm now at the point where there is gluten trouble under every upturned rock.

STOOPID GLUTEN!

Anyways, on to psillier things... . . . ....how about the news of Ellen Degeneres taking over Paula Abdul's spot on AI? Fantastic. I canna wait to hear the things she'll say. I'm sure she won't be contributing much in the way of useful musical critique, but MAN, she will be phunny!!

[blueeyedmanda]

Em--I think she will be farkin phunny, I can see hear and Simon getting into some tifts too. I kinda lthink he is cute too....

I think GI cancers stem from gluten....such an evil addition to food!

[jerseyangel]

I think GI cancers stem from gluten....such an evil addition to food!

I always wonder--me grandma also died from pancreatic cancer.

I don't watch AI, but I do like Ellen--I'll bet she'll be hilarious!

[ranger]

I'm not a huge fan of Patrick Swaze, but I liked him and enjoyed several of his movies. So, it surprized me when I started crying when I heard he had died. I very rarely cry. Maybe it's the underlying (not so underlying in my case) fear we all have of any kind of digestive cancer. He faught long and hard.

On a lighter note. Did anyone feel the earth move this am? I moved my crock-pot from the art desk to the kitchen, and actually put FOOD in it! Then, I LOOKED at the art supplies. Here's my delima. I built the art desk and it works out well. Places for books, supplies, ect. But, It's too high for a normal chair and to low for a barstool. The materials I used dictated the heigth. Even a big pillow doesn't work. What to do- What to do.

Being a black Burundian did not fit my lifestyle, so I'm back to being a shrinking, old, white, retired Ohioan. That's hard enough.

What to do- what to do.

Sleez

[Jestgar]

Just dropped off poor little Lyle to get his teeth pulled.

He may have Open Original Shared Link.

Poor boy has been yelping when he tries to eat.

[Jestgar]

Being a black Burundian did not fit my lifestyle, so I'm back to being a shrinking, old, white, retired Ohioan. That's hard enough.

What to do- what to do.

Sleez

Wait

If Sleezy is playing the part of the shrunken old lady, who's the twa?

[jerseyangel]

Sleezen--Have you looked into a counter-height chair? We just bought a new table and chairs, and it's now much more complicated than it used to be, what wif the regular chair, counter height and bar height

I think the bar type is about 30" tall, the counter type is about 24".

Or, you could just find something comfortable and cut the legs off a little

[ranger]

Geoss,

Got my glasses on, am looking at the pic of Lyle. Can't tell. Cat, dog chicken? Can't be a chicken, they don't have teeph. But whatever, Poor little guy! Hope he gets better.

Son graduated from Yale. When I visited, it was SOOO Ivy Leagueish. Hard to believe something so horrific could happen there. The towns not so hot, but apparently it was a fellow student who did this. Ghastly!

I would hate to ruin a piece of furniture by cutting the legs shorter. Maybe I could cut a chunk of me middle out so my torso would be shorter? What to do- what to do.

Or, I could ship my art supplies to Soozie, so she wouldn't use them?

Skinny phloozie Name of suezy.

[jerseyangel]

I would hate to ruin a piece of furniture by cutting the legs shorter. Maybe I could cut a chunk of me middle out so my torso would be shorter? What to do- what to do.

M-m-m-m (stroking chin...) interesting. You would prefer cutting out a chunk of yerselph rather than from a chair??? Do not know what to make of this!

How bout adding to the bottom of the table legs? Turning the whole thing back into a crock pot holder?

[elye]

If Sleezy is playing the part of the shrunken old lady, who's the twa?

Perhaps Slobdazobogo (must now have African timbre) simply escaped from a tribe of ruinous Twa, who had begun the process of tribal head-shrinking on her. Sobogudi, do you have a teeny, weeny, wrinkly head? Like it's been in a big pot for a few days?

I would hate to ruin a piece of furniture by cutting the legs shorter. Maybe I could cut a chunk of me middle out so my torso would be shorter? What to do- what to do.

Yes! I like this suggestion.....shorten thyself rather than a perfectly nice piece of furniture. Yer femurs are very long bones, Sleezbugdi - - you could spare six inches off 'em, easy. Or get an appointment with your local plastic surgeon and tell him you would like your neck eliminated.

Skinny phloozie Name of suezy.

Gah! Shades of the great Seuss, again. Would like to draw this .. ...... .. .

[ranger]

Ya know, yer phootz are lookin mighty fine tonight. Maybe it's cause my head has been in a big pot for quite sometime now. Since the 60's, when I named my first born Sember. No wonder I'm so wrinkled up and pruned -faced.

First off, I loved Louise Nevelson- not her art, but her face. When I was 18, I wanted to look like her. Now that I do, I want plastic surjury. And it's out.

Speaking of sturgeons, Can a get a neck shortening? And, can this really replace caviar? It's a long roe to hoe. And, I am the hoe to hoe that row.

I am so tired from my head being in pot for so long, and I NEED some frosted brownies. Em- you want to draw Doc Swuuss That's where my art supplies should go. Maybe this is a sign for you to become an artist, and sooz and sleez to become corporate magots. And Petravinski and Jesskolnikov could join my son and poor dead Annie being smart at Yale. Jezibel should continue doing molecular stuff, but concentrate on the nutational rate. Bunzafire- bake some brownies. Send them to me, post haste. Jagnut, Pity, poTOMac....I have to go POTTY. Later

Slutborgunian Stanislowski- a Birundian Rushin

[Jestgar]

I got a egg!!!!!

[ranger]

I know I'm not supposed to apoligize on this forum thread, but I am. It's because my heads been in that pot for so long. I took a choc cupcake out of my freezer and am going to EAT IT. Then, I'll be better. Sorry I forgot some of you. It's so confusing forn a pee-brain like me. Tomorrow, I will start wring that book. It will be called " Sickles and Cycles". It will be about a Burundian woman who does bycicle races and has her period 24/7. She will have 7 viable eggs and use them all. It promises to be better than the new Dan Brown thriller, " How I was a Mason With Only a Pound of Washington Concrete"

Till Some Other Day

Sudan Brownass.