Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
Open Original Shared Link turns 50 this year. :o :o :o
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Open Original Shared Link turns 50 this year. :o :o :o

Wow. . . ....still the same perpetually-surprised, out-of focus look in her eyes. .. .. ....but at least the two corkscrew ponytails are gone.. .. ..

All right: I wish to return to the subject of dogs. My story trumps ALL of yours, hands down.

The one hazard of having big dogs, at least with me, has been forgetting that your one-year old, seventy-five pound pup is still just that -- A PUP. Hank is big, lanky and looks now like a responsible adult.

He is NOT this yet. STILL A PUP, with intact puppy brain and habit patterns.

SOooOooOoOoo, I am more relaxed now with keeping the small garbages down when we are out, figuring that Hank is big, therefore mature. He rarely pulls any kleenex or paper out of them anymore.

I came home yesterday at lunchtime, and Elsie was at the door, wiggling about to greet me. Hank was not with her. I walked down the hallway and Hank's head came around the corner from the living room. He veeeeerrrrrrry slowly began to walk toward me, head down, peering up at me. Hmm. . . ....something in his mouth. .. . .....

So, what is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing a dog could pull out of a garbage container and chew apart on the only carpet (light beige, Persian, wedding present) in one's entire household?

Not makeup. Worse.

Liquid Paper? Glue? Pshaw.

I'll give everyone a hint. He found it in the office garbage container.

A BLACK PRINTER CARTRIDGE.

:blink:

screaming-emoticon.gif

So, black powdery stuff all down Hank's chin and around his mouth, and I turn into the LIVING ROOM... . . . . . ..

Yup, it's all over the carpet.

My story beats everyone's!!!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

A BLACK PRINTER CARTRIDGE.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

So, black powdery stuff all down Hank's chin and around his mouth, and I turn into the LIVING ROOM... . . . . . ..

Yup, it's all over the carpet.

My story beats everyone's!!!

Yup! You win? :blink:

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Wow. . . ....still the same perpetually-surprised, out-of focus look in her eyes. .. .. ....but at least the two corkscrew ponytails are gone.. .. ..

All right: I wish to return to the subject of dogs. My story trumps ALL of yours, hands down.

The one hazard of having big dogs, at least with me, has been forgetting that your one-year old, seventy-five pound pup is still just that -- A PUP. Hank is big, lanky and looks now like a responsible adult.

He is NOT this yet. STILL A PUP, with intact puppy brain and habit patterns.

SOooOooOoOoo, I am more relaxed now with keeping the small garbages down when we are out, figuring that Hank is big, therefore mature. He rarely pulls any kleenex or paper out of them anymore.

I came home yesterday at lunchtime, and Elsie was at the door, wiggling about to greet me. Hank was not with her. I walked down the hallway and Hank's head came around the corner from the living room. He veeeeerrrrrrry slowly began to walk toward me, head down, peering up at me. Hmm. . . ....something in his mouth. .. . .....

So, what is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing a dog could pull out of a garbage container and chew apart on the only carpet (light beige, Persian, wedding present) in one's entire household?

Not makeup. Worse.

Liquid Paper? Glue? Pshaw.

I'll give everyone a hint. He found it in the office garbage container.

A BLACK PRINTER CARTRIDGE.

:blink:

screaming-emoticon.gif

So, black powdery stuff all down Hank's chin and around his mouth, and I turn into the LIVING ROOM... . . . . . ..

Yup, it's all over the carpet.

My story beats everyone's!!!

Awe... at least he knew he did something wrong and was looking sad. I thought the thing he pulled out of the trash was going to be a sanitary napkin with blood all over the carpet. The toy poodle I had as a childhood pet used to do that. :blink:

My friend had a big adult dog that they took in from an abused dog shelter. She was very gentle around people but everytime they left the house even if for just a few minutes she would tear something up. Pillows, toilet paper, mail from the desk, whatever was soft that she could get her teeth into. They tried crating her with a blanket and she tore her blanket to shreds. Finally one day my friend got down on the dogs eye level, looked her in the eye and said firmly but gently, "I have to leave now, but I will be right back. Okay?" The dog wagged her tail, my friend then left, drove down the road to the gas station and came back about 15 minutes later. Nothing was destroyed. She gave the dog a treat for beign good. So she did that same thing the next day when she had to leave for longer to go shopping. It worked again. She went to work the next week and the whole week everyday when she left she told the dog she would be sure to come back. The dog was good all week until on friday when my friend rushed out the door running late and didn't tell her dog she would be back. She came home to a mess. :o

Moral of the story: dogs understand more than we think and miss us when we leave. Sometimes they make a mess to express their grief at our leaving. :ph34r:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I tell my dog all the time. "Don't worry. We'll be back. We are leaving you with all our stuff." He still seems to think it is amazing when we manage to make it home without having been eaten by wild cats or getting lost.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Standard poodles are just too smart for any type of management strategy. They simply think, rightly, "Dear gawd. Here she is, calmly assuring me that she will be back. What sort of idiot does she take me for? A basset hound? She goes out every day, she comes back every day. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE BACK. I also know that you've left me all my toys. I see them all around me, I am not blind nor feeble-minded. You use your calm voice to communicate that you are being firm but loving. I hear other things in there - - a bit of doubt? Hesitation? Interesting. Well, let's play with her a bit. I'll just take out ONE kleenex from the bin this morning, and she'll think things are improving.... .. .. ..ha.. . ... then wait until the weekend...........

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Standard poodles are just too smart for any type of management strategy. They simply think, rightly, "Dear gawd. Here she is, calmly assuring me that she will be back. What sort of idiot does she take me for? A basset hound? She goes out every day, she comes back every day. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE BACK. I also know that you've left me all my toys. I see them all around me, I am not blind nor feeble-minded. You use your calm voice to communicate that you are being firm but loving. I hear other things in there - - a bit of doubt? Hesitation? Interesting. Well, let's play with her a bit. I'll just take out ONE kleenex from the bin this morning, and she'll think things are improving.... .. .. ..ha.. . ... then wait until the weekend...........

:lol:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Standard poodles are just too smart for any type of management strategy. They simply think, rightly, "Dear gawd. Here she is, calmly assuring me that she will be back. What sort of idiot does she take me for? A basset hound? She goes out every day, she comes back every day. I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE BACK. I also know that you've left me all my toys. I see them all around me, I am not blind nor feeble-minded. You use your calm voice to communicate that you are being firm but loving. I hear other things in there - - a bit of doubt? Hesitation? Interesting. Well, let's play with her a bit. I'll just take out ONE kleenex from the bin this morning, and she'll think things are improving.... .. .. ..ha.. . ... then wait until the weekend...........

I am thinking about getting Cooper a poodle. He needs a dog that is smart and will make him feel safe. I have noticed that when we have the dog next door over (who is sooo clever if he used his mind for good not evil, he would cure cancer) my dog isn't afraid of thunder, slippery floors extra.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Did you guys know that those hollow core wood doors actually have strips of corrugated cardboard in them? I know because one of my dogs ate a hollow core door once (well, the bottom 10% anyway) . . . also stripped the linoleum off the floor . . . also destuffed a couch.

Printer cartridges, pffft!!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I had a 17 lb terrier that jumped up on the kitchen table and ate the whole back half of an iced angel food cake. He did it so that, when we came in the garage door, the side we could see looked great. Took awhile until we noticed. He didn't get sick either.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Did you guys know that those hollow core wood doors actually have strips of corrugated cardboard in them? I know because one of my dogs ate a hollow core door once (well, the bottom 10% anyway) . . . also stripped the linoleum off the floor . . . also destuffed a couch.

Printer cartridges, pffft!!

Perhaps this is his not-so-subtle way of telling you to remodel/redecorate? :lol:

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

I had a 17 lb terrier that jumped up on the kitchen table and ate the whole back half of an iced angel food cake. He did it so that, when we came in the garage door, the side we could see looked great. Took awhile until we noticed. He didn't get sick either.

My 10 pound toy poodle climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate a an entire tub of butter once. She did get sick and made quite the mess all over the carpet. She was fine after that however and we learned never to leave the butter out again. :blink:

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

I had a 17 lb terrier that jumped up on the kitchen table and ate the whole back half of an iced angel food cake. He did it so that, when we came in the garage door, the side we could see looked great. Took awhile until we noticed. He didn't get sick either.

And the new Kween of the Psillies is ...

Karen!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

And the new Kween of the Psillies is ...

Karen!

WOOOOOO WHOOOO! (Jumping up & down)

Wait.... That isn't very Queenlike.

Sitting calmly, gently waving my hand at my subjects. slight smile on my face.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

And the new Kween of the Psillies is ...

Karen!

And she brought (half-eaten) angel food cake!

Oscar Apprentice
Oscar
Posted

Congratulations, Your Majesty.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

***********************ALL HAIL, KWEEEEEN KHERRIGHNNE!!!*******************************

Dear gawd, that was a long reign I just put in. .. . . . ...was that, like, two years er somethin'? Time tends to drag when one is scrubbing up black ink from a Persian carpet.

AND off a big dog's phace. :angry:

Dogs ingesting marvelous things.. . . . . ... . ...our substandard poodle before Gus used to produce poop that would have, the odd time, a sewing pin or two in it. :huh: She lived to fourteen, incredibly. . . . ..

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Soozle needs to be here for this conversation. Weezee has gotten into quite a nimber of things and produced quite interesting poop.......sparkly, even.

My Zeus has chewed the corner off the wall. He is deathly afraid of helium balloons, squeekers in toys, and football games on tv.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Congratulations Karen . . . and now we are off to dog poop stories . . . some segue, huh?

Dogs ingesting marvelous things.. . . . . ... . ...our substandard poodle before Gus used to produce poop that would have, the odd time, a sewing pin or two in it. :huh: She lived to fourteen, incredibly. . . . ..

JoDog used to eat crayons . . . made for colorful poop.

. . . and now we transition to dog vomit . . .

Once MaggieDog ate a bunch of chocolate (she got into some Christmas gifts). I called the vet and it was determined that it was not enough to kill her but she would be miserable and it would be best to make her throw up. (I feel like I've already told this story on here before). I had to give her hydrogen peroxide. After I gave it to her, I thought "Damn, I should have asked how long it takes to kick in." It became apparent . . . I assume that you are all familiar with the dog-hurling-sound. I took her outside where she went from location to location hurling up chocolate and foil wrappers. Then I thought "Damn, I should have asked how long it takes to stop." Well, you can tell that, too. It's over when they go back to start licking up the vomit piles.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

HiYa Lisa!! Long time, no see. Been busy?

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Yep.

When DD and her family were living with us, I felt like I had no time to myself. Now that they've moved out, I still feel like I have no time to myself. I've been helping them get settled in their new place. Been trying to wean them off.

Still dancing. In fact......flash mob at Castleton Mall is supposed to happen this Saturday, but no time has been mentioned, yet. Becoming suspicious that it will be canceled.

School is out, so I'm hoping to get some much needed work done around the house.....painting and such.

Been reading along faithfully.....just haven't taken the time to be social.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

. . . I assume that you are all familiar with the dog-hurling-sound. I took her outside where she went from location to location hurling up chocolate and foil wrappers. Then I thought "Damn, I should have asked how long it takes to stop." Well, you can tell that, too. It's over when they go back to start licking up the vomit piles.

Annnnnnnnnd it's time for my breakfast. . . . . . ... :rolleyes:

Still dancing. In fact......flash mob at Castleton Mall is supposed to happen this Saturday, but no time has been mentioned, yet.

Hi, Leeeesargh! Let's hope there is someone filming this, and we can see it on youtube. . .. .!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Still dancing. In fact......flash mob at Castleton Mall is supposed to happen this Saturday, but no time has been mentioned, yet. Becoming suspicious that it will be canceled.

Would be nice if you knew the time. As Queen, I decree that it must be filmed & put on YouTube. The film must feature Lisa prominently.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Weird, random news from the NW:

Open Original Shared Link

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,915
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    marcusdarrell1
    Newest Member
    marcusdarrell1
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      I followed the Autoimmune Protocol Diet which is really strict for a while, but later other foods can be added back into your diet.  Following the AIP diet strictly allows you digestive system to heal and the inflammation to calm down.  Sort of like feeding a sick baby easy to digest food instead of spicy pizza.   It's important to get the inflammation down because chronic inflammation leads to other health problems.  Histamine is released as part of the autoimmune response to gluten.  High histamine levels make you feel bad and can cause breathing problems (worsening asthma), cardiovascular problems (tachycardia), and other autoimmune diseases (Hashimoto's thyroiditis, diabetes) and even mental health problems. Following the low histamine version of the AIP diet allows the body to clear the histamine from our bodies.  Some foods are high in histamine.  Avoiding these makes it easier for our bodies to clear the histamine released after a gluten exposure.   Vitamin D helps regulate the immune system and calm it down.  Vitamin D is frequently low in Celiacs.  The B Complex vitamins and Vitamin C are needed to clear histamine.   Supplementing with essential vitamins and minerals boosts your intestines' ability to absorb them while healing.   Keep in mind that gluten-free facsimile foods, like gluten-free bread, are not enriched with added vitamins like their gluten containing counterparts are.   They are empty calories, no nutritional value, which use up your B vitamins in order to turn the calories into fuel for the body to function.   Talk to your doctor or nutritionist about supplementing while healing.  Take a good B Complex and extra Thiamine in the form Benfotiamine (shown to promote gut health).  Most B Complex vitamins contain thiamine mononitrate which the body cannot utilize.  Meats and liver are good sources of B vitamins.   Dr. Sarah Ballantyne wrote the book, the Paleo Approach.  She's a Celiac herself.  Her book explains a lot.   I'm so glad you're feeling better and finding your balance!
    • klmgarland
      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      By klmgarland · Posted

      So I should not eat my gluten free bread?  I will try the vitamins.  Thank you all so very much for your ideas and understanding.  I'm feeling better today and have gathered back my composure!
    • knitty kitty
      Taking Probiotics but Still Getting Sick After Gluten – Advice?

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      Some people prefer eating gluten before bed, then sleeping through the worst symptoms at night.  You might want to try that and see if that makes any difference.   Several slices of toast for breakfast sounds okay.  Just try to work up to the Ten grams of gluten.  Cookies might only have a half of a gram of gluten.  The weight of the whole cookie is not the same as the amount of gluten in it.  So do try to eat bread things with big bubbles, like cinnamon rolls.   Yeah, I'm familiar with the "death warmed over" feeling.  I hope you get the genetic test results quickly.  I despise how we have to make ourselves sick to get a diagnosis.  Hang in there, sweetie, the tribe is supporting you.  
    • Clear2me
      Gluten free nuts

      By Clear2me · Posted

      Thank you, a little expensive but glad to have this source. 
    • Xravith
      Taking Probiotics but Still Getting Sick After Gluten – Advice?

      By Xravith · Posted

      @knitty kitty  Thank you very much for the advice. I did the exam this morning, my doctor actually suggested me to take something called "Celiac duo test" in which I first do the genetic test and if it's positive, then I'll have to do the antigen blood test. I have to attend 1 month until my results are ready, so I have some weeks to increase the amount of gluten I eat daily. It will be hard because my health is not the best right now, but I also did a blood test to cheek my nutritional deficiencies. The results will arrive on Tuesday, so I can ask my doctor what should I do to control my symptoms and blood levels during this month. For now I'm resting and paying attention to what I eat— at least I don’t look like a vampire who just woke up, like I did yesterday. I'm still scared because is the first time I've felt this sick, but this is the right moment to turn things around for the better.  I realized that if I eat gluten at lunch I cannot finish the day properly, I become severely tired and sometimes my stomach hurts a lot - let's not talk about the bloating that starts later. Do you think is it ok to eat gluten just in the morning, like some cookies and slices of bread for breakfast? 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.