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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

Hey Psillies

AAARGH!!!!! DH Clark is as bad as DS Tony (perhaps worse right now). Clark is SO in the doghouse! I assumed I didn't have to check HIS pants pockets -unlike Tony's (too bad Clark wasn't in his tights and cape) and there was chewing gum in the wash and dyer - not to mention two of my favorite black pair of pants and a turban are now covered with it. Goggling now for gluten-free ways to clean clothes, washer, and a dryer. Lucky for Clark I just lost my cell phone so we're running at an even scale.

I think my sunburn is finally healed so I'm going to buy the highest gluten-free block out there and we're going to sun in our backyard (hopefully sans the 7 kids next door). The beach would be too insane to try today. I have a friend coming Monday through Wednesday this coming week so we'll hit the beach early one morning.

Tony will also have to see a doctor IMMEDIATELY Monday AM (in case I didn't mention he is now bleeding rectally). He saw a doctor and had blood work done but I got him an appointment with the doctor he saw re:Lupus. Everyone else is on vacation this week. If he wasn't staying with a family where one occupation was RN we would have forced him to come home by now (if you can force a 19 year old, what do you think Queen Kareng?)

OK, Clark is back from recycling so it's time to do my errands with him and then sunbathe (even if it's just for 15 minutes).

Lots of love and hugs,

Loey wub.gifwub.gifwub.gif

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hey Psillies

AAARGH!!!!! DH Clark is as bad as DS Tony (perhaps worse right now). Clark is SO in the doghouse! I assumed I didn't have to check HIS pants pockets -unlike Tony's (too bad Clark wasn't in his tights and cape) and there was chewing gum in the wash and dyer - not to mention two of my favorite black pair of pants and a turban are now covered with it. Goggling now for gluten-free ways to clean clothes, washer, and a dryer. Lucky for Clark I just lost my cell phone so we're running at an even scale.

I think my sunburn is finally healed so I'm going to buy the highest gluten-free block out there and we're going to sun in our backyard (hopefully sans the 7 kids next door).

Tony will also have to see a doctor IMMEDIATELY Monday AM (in case I didn't mention he is now bleeding rectally). He saw a doctor and had blood work done but I got him an appointment with the doctor he saw re:Lupus. Everyone else is on vacation this week. If he wasn't staying with a family where one occupation was RN we would have forced him to come home by now (if you can force a 19 year old, what do you think Queen Kareng?)

The PB in the washer might need some WD40 & a plastic knife. greasy though. Might need to run a wash after it with just a box of baking soda.

Have you tried the green aloe gel for a sunburn? It's made by Banana Boat and maybe some others. Very cheap at Walmart or Target.

Yes you can force a 19 year old. Cut off his funding. Take away his car, if he has one., etc. Guilt. Really, the bleeding sounds scary enough.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Yes you can force a 19 year old. Cut off his funding. Take away his car, if he has one., etc.

Send him to GFM's in-laws.

Y'all need to stop this contest for 'most dramatic story'. Time for a peaceful summer.

HP was fun. 3D on the big screen. Met BE afterwards for drinks and went to see a very mediocre Doors tribute band at the Hard Rock.

Woke this morning to a chicken chorus. One of the big girls was singing her egg song, and one of the little girls joined in in harmony. Then a couple more of the littles added some doo-wops and the little rooster threw in some rhythmic 'book's. :) Still haven't gotten my damn egg, but should be some time this morning after all that singing.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Woke this morning to a chicken chorus. One of the big girls was singing her egg song, and one of the little girls joined in in harmony. Then a couple more of the littles added some doo-wops and the little rooster threw in some rhythmic 'book's. :) Still haven't gotten my damn egg, but should be some time this morning after all that singing.

:lol: :lol: Chickens laying after they sing... . . ..Man, I wish this happened at church! You can bet I'd be attending a lot more often if the choir belted out their stuff, then lay eggs for everyone.. . . ...

Do you think a woman sings more just before she ovulates?

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

..Man, I wish this happened at church! You can bet I'd be attending a lot more often if the choir belted out their stuff, then lay eggs for everyone.. . . ...

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

Send him to GFM's in-laws.

Y'all need to stop this contest for 'most dramatic story'. Time for a peaceful summer.

HP was fun. 3D on the big screen. Met BE afterwards for drinks and went to see a very mediocre Doors tribute band at the Hard Rock.

Woke this morning to a chicken chorus. One of the big girls was singing her egg song, and one of the little girls joined in in harmony. Then a couple more of the littles added some doo-wops and the little rooster threw in some rhythmic 'book's. :) Still haven't gotten my damn egg, but should be some time this morning after all that singing.

My BF from NJ (he's staying with them - both of our families are chosen family as opposed to the kind you're born with) is a nurse. She threatened him with tampons and Depends so he did see a doctor and has another appointment with the one he saw for Lupus up here on Monday. It seems like 99% of my doctors are off over the next two weeks. I plan on staying healthy and happy!

Clark has cleaned the washer and dryer of chewing gum and offered to make me his specialty (Spanish Frittata) for dinner. I know how I'll show him my thanks rolleyes.gif

Missed my son a little while he was away (although we were there for a few days) but I plan on making the most of our last night alone.

Off to play with Clark wink.gif

Love,

Loey wub.gifwub.gifwub.gif

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Clark is SO in the doghouse! I assumed I didn't have to check HIS pants pockets -unlike Tony's (too bad Clark wasn't in his tights and cape) and there was chewing gum in the wash and dyer - not to mention two of my favorite black pair of pants and a turban are now covered with it. Goggling now for gluten-free ways to clean clothes, washer, and a dryer. Lucky for Clark I just lost my cell phone so we're running at an even scale.

Did you check the pockets of those black pants? :P

Not too long ago I washed my cell phone with the laundry. :ph34r: Where are all those dissicants when you need them? It did finally dry out but not before I had already bought a new phone.

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Okay.....yer I've-submerged-my cellphone troubleshooting guide.......

1) Remove cellphone from water source (washer, sewer, public toilet, etc.)

2) Immediately remove battery from phone

3) Lay both phone and battery out to dry.....several hours

4) Re-assemble.

5) Everything should work....

Yup....done this successfully a few times. Drunkedly, angrily.......... . it works..... B)

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

Okay.....yer I've-submerged-my cellphone troubleshooting guide.......

1) Remove cellphone from water source (washer, sewer, public toilet, etc.)

2) Immediately remove battery from phone

3) Lay both phone and battery out to dry.....several hours

4) Re-assemble.

5) Everything should work....

Yup....done this successfully a few times. Drunkedly, angrily.......... . it works..... B)

Hey Em!

Pooping in here randomly...

Put unfortunately dunked cell phone and battery in a bag of dry rice. Rice will pull out the moisture. I have seen this procedure often in this house, but not MY phone :D THEY swear it works.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hey Em!

Pooping in here randomly...

Put unfortunately dunked cell phone and battery in a bag of dry rice. Rice will pull out the moisture. I have seen this procedure often in this house, but not MY phone :D THEY swear it works.

Boys take the phone apart and put it in the freezer. Sort of freeze dry it.

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Hey Em!

Pooping in here randomly...

Put unfortunately dunked cell phone and battery in a bag of dry rice. Rice will pull out the moisture. I have seen this procedure often in this house, but not MY phone :D THEY swear it works.

Lisa's back among the sillies. :) :) :)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Pooping in here randomly...

Hi Lisa!!

Soo tired today. Spent 4 hours pressure washing yesterday, after mowing the back yard. If it dries up today I'll mow the front, but regardless, gotta clean the little girls pen. Seuss, the little roo-roo, is still only crowing a few times in the morning. I hope he continues to just be a day greeter, and not an all day chatter.

This afternoon we go pick up the half a cow. Fun day.

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

Put unfortunately dunked cell phone and battery in a bag of dry rice. Rice will pull out the moisture. I have seen this procedure often in this house, but not MY phone :D THEY swear it works.

That's what I did......but it took several days. Gotta realize.....it was submerged for the entire wash and rinse cycles.

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

This afternoon we go pick up the half a cow. Fun day.

:o:unsure::blink:

:lol:

Even though I know it's from the butcher.... it is from the butcher.....right? :unsure:

.......can't get visions out of me 'ead of Jess walking a two-legged cow! :P

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

.......can't get visions out of me 'ead of Jess walking a two-legged cow! :P

Right. . .. . ..and cut which way -- lengthwise or crosswise? Don't think I'd be wantin' the BACK end... . . . :rolleyes:

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

Did you check the pockets of those black pants? :P

Not too long ago I washed my cell phone with the laundry. :ph34r: Where are all those dissicants when you need them? It did finally dry out but not before I had already bought a new phone.

My pants don't have pockets. I use phanny paks when I don't need a pocketbook. I also just lost my cell phone (not in the washer, though). Tony is back home and there is a new rule : EVERYONE CHECKS THIR POCKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tony seemed glad to be home. I think the blood thing scared him. Tomorrow we take him to the doctor in the morning. The way he described it wasn't as bad as I thought. He still needs to have it checked by someone up here. I'll have the NJ doc fax the test results.He was extremely warm and loving when he saw me. I'm enjoying all of the positive books I bought and am applying them to all my illnesses. The only time I plan on acting like a victim is "if" I have to go to court to fight this disability claim. I'll use all of my old thespian talents (after I blow off the considerable dust) skills then. Now I plan on living life to the fullest.

Missed you all!!!

Love,

Loey

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I'm glad your baby is home LoLo. :wub: Mom's are always the best medicine. :)

Our 20% chance of rain has been continuous since 6:30 this morning. I haven't gone outside except to feed the feathered friends. I may have to do the pen tomorrow after work. :angry:

I have, however, waxed my eyebrows and given myself a mud mask. :P In an hour or so I'll be heading out to pick up Hop-a-along, the half heifer.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

In an hour or so I'll be heading out to pick up Hop-a-along, the half heifer.

What's the other half? Half bull??? :blink:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

What's the other half? Half bull??? :blink:

The other half is someone else's dinner!

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

The other half is someone else's dinner!

Big eater :o

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

The other half is someone else's dinner!

:lol: :lol: Yep, Hoppy is wrapped in freezer paper.

Here's where s/he passed an idyllic youth: Open Original Shared Link

curlyfries Contributor
curlyfries
Posted

I have, however, waxed my eyebrows and given myself a mud mask. :P In an hour or so I'll be heading out to pick up Hop-a-along, the half heifer.

I am so relieved you're not going to the butcher's with hairy eyebrows and large pores. :rolleyes:

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

I need to give a bit of dramatous background here. So, my dad and I don't have a great relationship. Not sure there was ever a time where he was faithful to my mom and the nail in his coffin was when I was 12 and I was a nanny for my parent's BFFs. We did everything with them and their kids were my brother and sister's best friends as well. I sat for them 3 days a week, when MJ (wife) went to town to go to the 'gym'. At the end of the summer, my mom packed us all up and took us to my grandmother's house. She sat us down and told us that my dad (his name is Jim :lol::lol:-but not really :rolleyes:) and MJ were having an affair. Then it dawned on me that I was sitting for her kids while she was screwing him on his lunch break (this was confirmed...). Relationship-OVER!

Now a bit of history on the crazy girlfriend... Right before Thanksgiving 2009, my dad's bff (also named Jim), went up into the woods with a shotgun, texted my dad (we'll never know what he said, but I can certainly guess...) and blew a hole in his heart. Right after Christmas (1 month later!!), dead Jim's wife is calling my dad 'honey' and 'sweetie' and my grandma 'mom' And then I hear that they got married right after New Years in a fake ceremony that "is as real as it needs to be".... Whatever.... She's a raging alcoholic and is bat-sh!t crazy when she's drunk!

OK-

Sunday-Not as much drama... No one gets up before 11 except for a few of us women (and my kids). We clean up the mess from the night before and make breakfast for our men :rolleyes: My aunt goes to take a shower in the main bathroom facility and pulls a giant wad of hair out of the drain that was flooding the floor and tossed it towards the back of the shower (I did NOT ask how she went about that :PUKE:) At one point I pass the main office, where buck-toothed Betty and her leathered face hub are chain smoking for about 9 hours a day (EVERY DAY) and there's this young, handsome guy sitting with them... It's my uncle's 50th bday, so Jesse's supposed to get him into town for AN HOUR so we can set up for his surprise party. 3.5 hours later they show up and by that time everyone's starving and ticked off.... Soooooo they start drinking again-like 2 hours prior.... By 1030, I shunt everyone to the back of the campground which we were given to prevent our anticks (sp?) from pissing off the other campers, getting us kicked out. About 1130, I see that handsome guy again, with his backpack on, with a lasso attached... My cousin dubbed him 'The Blue Lake Killer" He and Jesse were in this in depth conversation, so I slipped off to go to bed.

Monday-we spend the day floating on the lake. I think I'm the only one who didn't get charred. Perhaps it was bc I put bottles of sunscreen and water in my floaty's cupholders instead of beer, beer and more beer like everyone else. My cousin actually floated out on a queen sized blowup camping mattress with a cooler on it, filled with beer. We had a potluck that night. "The Blue Lake Killer" who's actually a real cowboy from across the lake has come to join us for the evening. He's crushing on my gorgeous cousin who could care less, but I think her brother had a little bromance going with him as well. I shall now refer to him as 'Cowboy'. Cowboy still has his lasso with him.. :blink: ... and teaches everyone to "lasso a stump" Crazy still hasn't come out of her RV and my dad hasn't spoke 2 words to me. I went to bed EARLY and finally slept!!

--wad of hair...still there...

Tuesday-the morning is blustery and raining. The wind is howling, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit inside that trailer until it blows over, so Max and I cuddle up under one of the awnings, wrap ourselves in beach towels and he plays on my phone while I read. Pretty soon, one of the cousins comes tearing out of her trailer looking for the gorgeous cousin, who's also a nurse. Apparently, in their crap-hole of a trailer, her 1 year old reached down, just under the bed, picked up a pill of unknown origin, and swallowed it before her mom could get to her. This pill did NOT belong to them, but was left by a previous camper. They ended up taking her to the ER where they force fed her charcoal and had to wait for it to pass :angry: I got a text from my mom (bc there's hardly any phone service, but there's free wi-fi :rolleyes: ) that says my grandma is in the hospital, she had an angiogram and that she's having emergency open heart on Thursday. I.Am.Devestated :(

--Can't remember anything else about that day, except the wad of hair is still there...

More in a bit...

Let me know if you're bored...

I think you win the family drama award. My IL's are a dream compared to your dad and his floosie! Sorry :(

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

I wish instead of just being gluten-free you could be M&FIL free! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and will read the continuation of your saga. Sending you a REALLY big hug!!!

Love,

Loey

Thanks for the hugs! I needed it!

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Hi Dear Psillies,

So I think I told you Tony is staying an extra week in NJ. Thank God he's staying with close friends of ours and she's an RPN. Yesterday he was bleeding from his ear and today he has bloody stool. I called them (the family he's with) and he has a doctor's appointment this afternoon. He's pissed off at me - God forbid he has to cancel plans today - but that's what s(mother's) are for. I picked up that name from a hysterical book I just finished reading called Cancer Vixen. It's written by a cartoonist who's a survivor.

Anyway,I hope you are all doing phine.

Loey wub.gifwub.gifwub.gif

So sorry abotu your (son?). I hope they will figure it all out soon. Does he have celiac? The bloody stool thing happens to me when I get a large amount of gluten cc, and back in the day when I was in college I bled out of my ears the mornings after I drank beer. I stopped drinking for the most part before I even turned 21 because I got so sick from just one drink.

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