The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

Freshman - bah! We DO want a man - a REAL man.....grownup......yummy, delicious, brilliant, noble, altruistic, erudite.....blah blah blah - where IS he???????? we've given up........and we've realized we do live in teh wrong town to find this sort of thing. BAH!

Oh don't get me wrong . . . I wasn't talking about any sort of serious or permanet arrangement. I just thought he might be more . . . useful . . . than the Yeti. Have him clean your car if you want.

Annie and I do not know what to do with ourselves today.....she went on all my errands with me, but kept whining in the car.......when we got home, she ran outside and peeked into the doghouse, where Stinker often slept.

Awww . . . poor Annie. I'm glad you have each other. That was one of the reasons that I got Josie when I did. Maggie was getting on in years and I didn't think I could bear it to be without a dog.

Oh . . . and I have to tell you, I had a dream this morning that I got two MORE dogs. Both young and one was a tiny tiny poodle named "BillyDonny". And I thought to myself . . . who would name a dog that and why did I get a boy dog? Then I thought . . . "What have I done? I can't afford to kennel them!!!" Then my son who is currently 8 but looked like my brother when he was 14 (???!!!!???) said "No, the dog's name is BellaDonna" and I said "Why would anybody name a boy dog that?"

[Photobug3]

What about:

"Whatever it is I think I see... becomes a Tootsie Roll to me!"

[Mtndog]

Hi Everyone- Angus wants to post wif me cuz he is sad about Tika.

I even pmed Richard a few weeks ago just to say hi. Never got a response. He has went MIA since my honeymoon. Maybe I scared him when I went to Rochester for the honeymoon....I cannot keep friends I scare them away.

Angus and I BOTH think that Rrrichard has some SPLAININ TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was thinking of Richard with the passing of our Stinker, and the FABULOUS avatar he pimped of her flying through the air with a Superman cape billowing behind her. Susie, you should put it up again. I want to see this super girl again!

It is quite a ridiculous, and yet adorable tail. Very hilarious when he tries to wag it, as it doesn't swish...too tight a curl. It just quivers and his bum goes--very cute, perhaps, in a little pug, but just pathetic with an eighty-pounder...

Very good...we have a royal edict from our Queen. All Hail!

Oh my gosh- gus has WIGGLE BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grrreat.

And I'd like to offerrrrrr up forrrrr everrrrryone's amusement that I seem to be 'white trrrrrash queen' today. Not only did I smudge up my mascarrrrrrra so my lashes arrrrrrre all chunky, I also changed my mind about what I was wearrrrring so I ended up at worrrrrk with a black brrrrrra underrrrrr a white shirrrrrt. All I need is a half smoked cigarrrrrrette hanging out of my mouth and I'd be perrrrrrrfect.

:lol: :lol:

Jin, hey how have you been? We have missed you in the vortex!!!

Jestgar--Love the readable underwear. Kind of like the bumpersticker, If you can read this you are on my butt....Back the F*** up!

Sorry sillies, had to share

Good Day at work so far :)

OMG- that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! If (and I mean if) I could create readable bathing suit bottoms for women they would read one of these:

1. Do not Enter

2. If you're close enough to read this, you're close enough to kiss my arse!

3. All's well that ends well (Kurt came up with this one!!)

4. I know how to shake a tail feather baby!

5. There BUTT for the grace of God go I (Kurt again)

6. Thar she blows!!!!!!!!! (celiac special!)

[DingoGirl]

Oh . . . and I have to tell you, I had a dream this morning that I got two MORE dogs. Both young and one was a tiny tiny poodle named "BillyDonny". And I thought to myself . . . who would name a dog that and why did I get a boy dog? Then I thought . . . "What have I done? I can't afford to kennel them!!!" Then my son who is currently 8 but looked like my brother when he was 14 (???!!!!???) said "No, the dog's name is BellaDonna" and I said "Why would anybody name a boy dog that?"

isn't Bella Donna another name for some type of opiate? Maybe this gender-confused dog was on drugs?

Yeah....quite necessary to have another furry creature at home whilst mourning the loss of the other one......I don't know what I'd do without my weasel.

TOM - that almost looks like my girls running on Carmel Beach......

Julie - thank you for the announcement on OMG - and THANK YOU to those who have pooped in to offer condolences (even Tiffany came by!)

OMG- that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! If (and I mean if) I could create readable bathing suit bottoms for women they would read one of these:

1. Do not Enter

2. If you're close enough to read this, you're close enough to kiss my arse!

3. All's well that ends well (Kurt came up with this one!!)

4. I know how to shake a tail feather baby!

5. There BUTT for the grace of God go I (Kurt again)

6. Thar she blows!!!!!!!!! (celiac special!)

give our thanks to Kurt and Angus, also.

[elye]

What about:

"Whatever it is I think I see... becomes a Tootsie Roll to me!"

Hey! Hi, there, Photo! Let's see, now....cannot scare this one away....

So...

Anal glands....um....well, we've been talking about full ones, lately, and...

hovering techniques, also, and...

Bah! this is where, you see, I would need to do a flow chart, as it's kind of a funny specialty of mine...

Please don't go...don't go...

[tom]

Anal glands....um....well, we've been talking about full ones, lately, and...

hovering techniques, also, and...

Oh YEAH!! I barely got any response to my questions from this unanimous group(?) . . ..at least quorum . .. of hoverers !!

Seriously . ...is there some irrational process at work or is there a derth of confidence in one's hoverability preventing the use of the oh-so-simple (simple enough for men) maneuver of LIFTING THE FREAKING SEAT!!!!??

[Darn210]

Hey! Hi, there, Photo! Let's see, now....cannot scare this one away....

So...

Anal glands....um....well, we've been talking about full ones, lately, and...

hovering techniques, also, and...

Bah! this is where, you see, I would need to do a flow chart, as it's kind of a funny specialty of mine...

Please don't go...don't go...

OK Emily . . . now you're just sounding . . . pathetic? needy? desperate?

Oh YEAH!! I barely got any response to my questions from this unanimous group(?) . . ..at least quorum . .. of hoverers !!

Seriously . ...is there some irrational process at work or is there a derth of confidence in one's hoverability preventing the use of the oh-so-simple (simple enough for men) maneuver of LIFTING THE FREAKING SEAT!!!!??

Where does raising the seat get us? Not like we are going to sit on what's underneath!!! Do you think we are going to then straddle the toilet whilst standing? Are we going to take our pants completely off in order to do this? Tom, have you given any thought to how the female anatomy works? Emily, quick!, Tom needs a flowchart!!

Welcome photobug. I see you're new here. I just want to warn you, that this thread is addictive and will drive you mad if you are not already there . . . I mean, come on in, the water's fine.

[elye]

Oh YEAH!! I barely got any response to my questions from this unanimous group(?) . . ..at least quorum . .. of hoverers !!

Seriously . ...is there some irrational process at work or is there a derth of confidence in one's hoverability preventing the use of the oh-so-simple (simple enough for men) maneuver of LIFTING THE FREAKING SEAT!!!!??

Ummmm....well....Having my bum touch the actual toilet bowl that's underneath the seat is, I believe, even more nauseating than coming in contact with the seat itself. I'll leave the seat down, and hover over IT (it's also higher, so less distance to fall if my hover is compromised).

Plus, all the men's errant pee is on the bowl! Gotta keep that covered!! (GREEN GUY).....

[Green12]

What about:

"Whatever it is I think I see... becomes a Tootsie Roll to me!"

Hello Photo! I think you are answering Richard's question from page 1 of this long and winding thread, about what song is stuck in your head???

I remember that tune

Hey! Hi, there, Photo! Let's see, now....cannot scare this one away....

So...

Anal glands....um....well, we've been talking about full ones, lately, and...

hovering techniques, also, and...

Bah! this is where, you see, I would need to do a flow chart, as it's kind of a funny specialty of mine...

Please don't go...don't go...

Starting off with anal glands won't help the cause

Oh YEAH!! I barely got any response to my questions from this unanimous group(?) . . ..at least quorum . .. of hoverers !!

Seriously . ...is there some irrational process at work or is there a derth of confidence in one's hoverability preventing the use of the oh-so-simple (simple enough for men) maneuver of LIFTING THE FREAKING SEAT!!!!??

The response you got when you first posed this question was of the vomit and hurl variety

[DingoGirl]

Hey! Hi, there, Photo! Let's see, now....cannot scare this one away....

So...

Anal glands....um....well, we've been talking about full ones, lately, and...

hovering techniques, also, and...

Bah! this is where, you see, I would need to do a flow chart, as it's kind of a funny specialty of mine...

Please don't go...don't go...

:lol:

Emily, Emily, Emily.

Photo is still just one of those hapless innocents who is reading ONLY the first pages of the Silly thread, back when we were writing lyrics to songs taht got stuck in our head.

Could be WEEKS before she sees your flowchart.

So, calm thyself.

*snigger*

Seriously . ...is there some irrational process at work or is there a derth of confidence in one's hoverability preventing the use of the oh-so-simple (simple enough for men) maneuver of LIFTING THE FREAKING SEAT!!!!??

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to correct Ptaum's spelling (never happens). It's deArth, you silly. DEARTH. as in, here in Fresno, there is a great dearth of interesting, yummy, non-needy men.

drinking some REALLY GOOD Pennsylvania wine, feeling slightly silly.

(well really, it's Two-buck Chuck cabernet - not bad a'tall)

[DingoGirl]

Ummmm....well....Having my bum touch the actual toilet bowl that's underneath the seat is, I believe, even more nauseating than coming in contact with the seat itself. I'll leave the seat down, and hover over IT (it's also higher, so less distance to fall if my hover is compromised).

Plus, all the men's errant pee is on the bowl! Gotta keep that covered!! (GREEN GUY).....

RAISING THE TOILET SEAT????????????????

*shudder*

HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sickest thing imaginable.....didn't we already cover this (as Julie said, "vomit and hurl" responses)

don't MAKE us think of it again!!!!!!!! Errant pee and curly hairs............. <green face here>

*holding back vomit*

[Darn210]

OMG- that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! If (and I mean if) I could create readable bathing suit bottoms for women they would read one of these:

1. Do not Enter

2. If you're close enough to read this, you're close enough to kiss my arse!

3. All's well that ends well (Kurt came up with this one!!)

4. I know how to shake a tail feather baby!

5. There BUTT for the grace of God go I (Kurt again)

6. Thar she blows!!!!!!!!! (celiac special!)

How about:

This Space for Rent/Your Ad Here . . . hmmm, perhaps not, might get you arrested for solicitation.

[confusedks]

Susie,

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

[DingoGirl]

How about:

This Space for Rent/Your Ad Here . . . hmmm, perhaps not, might get you arrested for solicitation.

Well, I think I'll just stick w/ a simple BOOTYLICIOUS across me arse. No arrests for solicitation. <however, lots of maniacal cackling from viewers at the delusional errancy of the word>

Susie,

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

thank you, sweet Cassandra. She was such a good old gal.......how are you feeling these days?

[Darn210]

Did anybody else notice that while Tom was posting it said

tom (HubbaHubba)

I think that means he's posting nekkid.

[DingoGirl]

Did anybody else notice that while Tom was posting it said

tom (HubbaHubba)

I think that means he's posting nekkid.

Oh I DID see that. Yes, he is clearly nekkid.....maybe even stepping over a River of Wee.

[elye]

Did anybody else notice that while Tom was posting it said

tom (HubbaHubba)

I think that means he's posting nekkid.

Yep...that must be what it means. As long as things aren't...changing as he posts...

[psawyer]

That's so funny!

I actually thought you were going to say something along the lines of certain vegetables she may have been looking at.

ok--Getting my mind out of the gutter.....one thing I do quite often at the grocery store is turn around to say something to Mark, and find myself talking to a perfect stranger. All those carts look alike

Certain vegetables? Hmmm. An interesting image is forming in my mind about cuc...never mind.

[DingoGirl]

Starting off with anal glands won't help the cause

:lol:

This was SO funny, had to go back and re-highlight it........

Yep...that must be what it means. As long as things aren't...changing as he posts...

Well, how can they NOT be changing, as we speak of Rivers of Wee, errant pee, curly hairs and.......other vomitous stuff. A turn-on, for sure.

*blech*

[tom]

Oy . .. . . .

So .. . .the hoverers won't USE the seat, but also won't move it into a sprinkle-safe position, making it .. . .nearly or completely(?) .. inevitable that a weeing will occasionally occur where others will soon expect to sit????????????

<ewwwwww chicks are grrrrrrross>

Edit!! Gah!! So many posts betw when I start a reply, start cooking, & finish reply!!

[Darn210]

That's so funny!

I actually thought you were going to say something along the lines of certain vegetables she may have been looking at.

Certain vegetables? Hmmm. An interesting image is forming in my mind about cuc...never mind.

Look at that!!! Well, I never!!!! . . . They're a bad influence on us innocents.

[Green12]

!If (and I mean if) I could create readable bathing suit bottoms for women they would read one of these:

1. Do not Enter

2. If you're close enough to read this, you're close enough to kiss my arse!

3. All's well that ends well (Kurt came up with this one!!)

4. I know how to shake a tail feather baby!

5. There BUTT for the grace of God go I (Kurt again)

6. Thar she blows!!!!!!!!! (celiac special!)

How did I miss this, these are great Bev

I'm loving #5!!!

So much more creative then "JUICY" across the derriere, and they made a fortune!!

Look at that!!! Well, I never!!!! . . . They're a bad influence on us innocents.

Yes, there's Patti and Peter's minds in the gutter again. No, even worse the sewer

[DingoGirl]

Look at that!!! Well, I never!!!! . . . They're a bad influence on us innocents.

Yes, Patti and Peter......who knew that this devolvement into gutter humoUr would ever occur....should we contact Scott??

:lol:

I have to go snuggle in bed with my Annie-bug now. She is so sad.

[tom]

Grrrrrr started posting this HOURS ago when my stupid precious Sidekick rebooted!! That makes twice recently! Wth!!

So I went to TJoe's and roomie was back in town before I got back. If Amanda were to tell her John where this John has been, he'll be very jealous and, in a quirky way, a touch impressed that you know someone who knows someone who was AT THAT GAME!!!

(That part might make a lot more sense to sports fans)

Roomie John was in Dallas anyway so stayed over the weekend and attended the big - no HUGE - win by the NYGiants over the Cowboys.

Now . ... . ...where was I?

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get to correct Ptaum's spelling (never happens). It's deArth, you silly. DEARTH. as in, here in Fresno, there is a great dearth of interesting, yummy, non-needy men.

D'oh!!

LOL and I do know how to spell it too - I'm sure I've spelled it right in the past. Not sure why the generally vigilant internal spellcheck missed that.

But I have a theory lol.

The part of the brain that does word selection, corpus thesaurpus I believe, got SO stuck trying to find deArth - I knew it had a D & an R, & maybe an E.

It was so weird. I knew there was a word I wanted to use and some of the letters, and it took for-freakin-EVer to rifle through enough mental files to land derth. LOL

<never used 'rifle' before>

Bah .. ... .the A . ... .. .and busted by susie - watch your PM Inbox for certain berating from someone who doesn't think 'wrong' should be corrrrrrrrrected.

. .. . . . .the A .. . . ..

[confusedks]

thank you, sweet Cassandra. She was such a good old gal.......how are you feeling these days?

I'm feeling okay for the most part...lots going on, but good I guess. You'd have to read the last 200 pages of the OMG thread. :lol: How is your back/discs feeling?