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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
Maybe we'll just send this book all over the world, to all the sillies? Except Emily, of course.......who now also has two copies......... <twilightzone, indeed! put one atop yer car, Em, and see what happens.......> :ph34r:

Well, I'll tell ya for certain what would not happen....DH would not be racing out, checking my parking space, accosting the store cashiers, retracing my route back home.....uh, nope. :rolleyes:<_<

'Tis hard to decipher these moods, I must say. Is it all the Nuggets? Lack of Effexor? The new melatonin I"m taking? the imminent menstrual cycle? So hard to say what causes these things.

Susie, I would strongly suspect that it's all of those things in combination. I was on melatonin briefly to help with jetlag when we went to Europe, and the days that I was on it I certainly felt....different. Not depressed, exactly, but I remember thinking, "why am I not a lot more excited, and happy, about heading overseas? I should be thrilled...." so it certainly affected my mood. Eliminated the spaced-out jetlag feeling, however, so a trade-off I endured....

I LOVE Ativan.

Yes, it's good stuff. It certainly kept my dad quiet and not caring that he was lying in the hospital, alone and bored, for much of the time. He really needed to rest, and I suppose if this kind of drug makes it easier for someone to just lie in bed and do that, well, it should be prescribed. But it sure made him a different man. Not unpleasant or completely unrecognisable....not a sumo wrestler or Lucille Ball or an NBA player, as we all know he has been before. :lol:

Tom - is that an Absinthian Chubacabra in your av? :unsure::lol:

Yes! I meant to comment on your av, Ptaum...cannot make out details....a monkey holding a cowbell? Mygawd.....is that a rendering of ME while away in the Laurentians??! :o<_<:lol:


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jerseyangel Proficient

So, on Saturday I decide to buy some plain Dove shampoo--I've been having a fair amount of bloating, anxious thoughts and my stomach's been off. I'm thinking it's the fragrance in the shampoo/conditioner because, frankly there was no other way it could have been sneaking in.

Here comes the phunny phart--I washed and conditioned my hair with it Sunday morning, and AGAIN Monday before it dawned on me that both bottles were shampoo--I coulda sworn I got shampoo and conditioner <_<:lol:

Good news--I think I found the culprit....bad news--I think I need glasses B)

jerseyangel Proficient
But last night they took him off the ATIVAN they'd been feeding him.....and now my dad's back. :)

:D

OMG - can I please share another Dingo Moment? :huh:

Gawd, Susie--see above for my most recent Dingo moment :lol:

And PMS, well, I'm just not going there. ;)

Very wise, Peter! :P

Good Morning Sillies!!!!

How us everyone this morning! Its back to work again, the nights are never long enough, but after a 3 weeks hiatus I went back to the gym....Hurrah! Now if only I can keep with it....I was trying on my spring and summer clothes and they were a little tight....sad!

Keep up the good work, Amanda! I've done my Pilates now two days in a row!!!!

Susie, I would strongly suspect that it's all of those things in combination.

I agree....I haven't trusted Hershey's in quite some time. ;)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
Keep up the good work, Amanda! I've done my Pilates now two days in a row!!!!

Wow, now we just have to keep with it! Summer is coming so that should be my goal!

tom Contributor
Janet! You're brilliant....That is absolutely the reason I had only a quarter of my emoticons show up yesterday. Like our government employees, Canadian emoticons (and most European ones, as well, I should think) did not appear due to our official holiday status.

:lol:

Canadian emoticons?!!

Do you have an :eh?: I don't get to use?

Mygawd.....this is NOT occurring with me. In fact....I cannot GET a slash to appear. I'm getting a blank space for the slashes. There's something international afoot...I bet it's a free trade issue. Anyone in Mexico on here? We can see what's happening down there... :rolleyes::lol:

:lol:

Yes!! Where is GFinGuadalajara when we need her??

Are these transnationally relocated slashes due to NAPHTA? (North American Punctuational Hiding/Trading Agreement)

"That's me before the surgery"

B)

:lol: :lol: :ph34r:

Maybe we'll just send this book all over the world, to all the sillies?

Sounds like ChickLit to me. :P

It's not subtitled "Diary of the Exhibitionist Princess" is it?

'Tis hard to decipher these moods, I must say. Is it all the Nuggets? Lack of Effexor? The new melatonin I"m taking?

I had great results w/ melatonin in the 90s.

Suddenly sleeping so well, my mood and brain function increased so much that during a re-org at work, 3 potential bosses were fighting over me :lol:

And I loved the vivid wackl dreams that were a bonus.

OMG - what have the boys done to that chocolate egg thingy in your av?

:lol: yes Nikki! Why am I thinking of Mr. Potato Head!??

And speaking of avs......

Tom - is that an Absinthian Chubacabra in your av? :unsure::lol:

Another question for GFinGuadalajara!!

Yes! I meant to comment on your av, Ptaum...cannot make out details....a monkey holding a cowbell? Mygawd.....is that a rendering of ME while away in the Laurentians??! :o<_<:lol:

:lol: :lol:

Didja see that his "stick-thingy" looks like a femur?

It's the label on my <ahem> THIRD brand of Absinthe!!!!!

Went to the store of Mo'BevThanYouCanHandle for Redbridge but they were OUT!!!!! :angry: da NOIV!!!

Disappointment quickly morphed into excitement at the discovery of the elusive St George Absinthe Verte.

It's the only one made in the U.S., and is thus far made in small batches.

Only had a small taste last night. No summoning of the Phaerie yet. :wacko:

jerseyangel Proficient
Wow, now we just have to keep with it! Summer is coming so that should be my goal!

Yes, we must keep at this. We can be cyber exercise buddies :D

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Ok, now here is a chuckle today....We had a fire alarm today in the hospital....these things are sooo loud! Anyway, I was on the pot piddling when it went off...almost fell right off....Horrible!

Had to share, sorry!

The bathroom alarms should be a little less loud, they could really scare the $hit out of you :lol:


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Darn210 Enthusiast
The bathroom alarms should be a little less loud, they could really scare the $hit out of you :lol:

Yes, but you're in the right spot!!!

elye Community Regular
Canadian emoticons?!!

Do you have an :eh?: I don't get to use?

You bet. He looks like this guy <_< , only with his mouth slightly open on one side and a questioning look in his eyes...."Eh?" Maybe something like your :huh?:

The Canadian emoticons are now at par with your American ones. Seems like yesterday that I had to post two smileys to have one appear... :rolleyes:

My favorite Cemoticon, and one to which you yanks haven't access, is the little polite face that appears very self-conscious and niave....true Canadiana. A cross between :huh: and :mellow: and :unsure: .....

Or the moose smiley, wif li'l antlers...... :lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
My favorite Cemoticon, and one to which you yanks haven't access, is the little polite face that appears very self-conscious and niave....true Canadiana. A cross between :huh: and :mellow: and :unsure: .....

Or the moose smiley, wif li'l antlers...... :lol:

With a maple leaf flag wrapped round him

Now my favoUrite AnglOemoticon (ha-HA..betcha yer didn't know we had them eh???) is the little guy with the plum in his mouth (with a bowler hat) who is frightfully posh darling ;)

Emily - shall *I* tell the yanks 'we' commonwealthers can see each others native Emoticons??

:lol::lol: (If you're American they may look like lol guy........but are they??????.............)

Darn210 Enthusiast

And we United Stations Statians have an Americaniemoticon which has an apple pie balanced on his cabbage head and fireworks shootin' out of his arse. It's this one :o I'm sure you can't see the pie or fireworks, but perhaps now you can better understand his expression.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Here comes the phunny phart--I washed and conditioned my hair with it Sunday morning, and AGAIN Monday before it dawned on me that both bottles were shampoo--I coulda sworn I got shampoo and conditioner

Good news--I think I found the culprit....bad news--I think I need glasses

:lol: :lol:

OMG - didjer hair feel kinda weird? :lol:

I really lurve when others have dingo moments - esp. David.... thrills me :lol:

I agree....I haven't trusted Hershey's in quite some time. ;)

:angry :( Bah!!!!!!!!

no nuggets? quel horror.......what will I do? I DID buy a three-pack of that milk chocolate at Trader Joe's - the same one Tom had? Quite delish - - alas - I think the three SMALL bars are to be one delightful, little serving APIECE.....I ate all three in one day, I think.... :ph34r:

Disappointment quickly morphed into excitement at the discovery of the elusive St George Absinthe Verte.

It's the only one made in the U.S., and is thus far made in small batches.

Only had a small taste last night. No summoning of the Phaerie yet. :wacko:

I have now had the Absente - four times? no phaerie sighting a'tall. :blink: what in hell?

NAPHTA :lol: :lol: good one.....

BTW melatonin - I have really WACKL dreams all the time - one would think quite phaerie-induced, even. Melatonin - not so much.

I am crawling out of my skin w/ anxiety and foreboding today....this is NOT fun......I think it's a blessing that Kissey and I are having some time apart......but that's also freaking me out........

gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mild panic setting in here.........and I am officially back ON Effexor.... gawd help us........

Ok, now here is a chuckle today....We had a fire alarm today in the hospital....these things are sooo loud! Anyway, I was on the pot piddling when it went off...almost fell right off....Horrible!

Had to share, sorry!

The bathroom alarms should be a little less loud, they could really scare the $hit out of you

:lol: excellent

Or the moose smiley, wif li'l antlers...... :lol:

not fair!

Well, here, we have some toothless emoticons, you'll be jealous to know, w/ giant trucker baseball hats on, and mullets. Bet you guys don't have those, eh?

;)

p.s. Janet - good one - the firecrackers out of his arse - - I forgot to tell them about that one

elye Community Regular
Are these transnationally relocated slashes due to NAPHTA? (North American Punctuational Hiding/Trading Agreement)

Mygawd....we actually signed that treaty, didn't we? Swapping S's for Z's, the whole hidden and superfluous "U" clause, ER versus RE word endings....

All Canada does is import rules...we never export a thing! :lol:

Sounds like ChickLit to me.

It's not subtitled "Diary of the Exhibitionist Princess" is it?

Actually, DH was reading it at the same time as DD and me (it got very ridiculous...all of us picking up a copy, unfolding the marked page, moving the bookmark)... When Sophie went to bed, DH and I would each have our own copy, so we'd be lying in bed reading the same book. Would have made a terrific photo for something..... :huh::lol:

Therefore, as my husband read and enjoyed it, you can be certain it has some references to cars and boobs. :lol:

Didja see that his "stick-thingy" looks like a femur?

What so many men are "absolutely certain" they've heard whispered as they leave the gym locker room........

Disappointment quickly morphed into excitement at the discovery of the elusive St George Absinthe Verte.

It's the only one made in the U.S., and is thus far made in small batches.

Only had a small taste last night. No summoning of the Phaerie yet. :wacko:

Which is your fave so far, Ptaum?

Darn210 Enthusiast
What so many men are "absolutely certain" they've heard whispered as they leave the gym locker room........

:lol::lol::lol:

tom, re: NAPHTA, excellent acronymizing!

tom Contributor
The Canadian emoticons are now at par with your American ones. Seems like yesterday that I had to post two smileys to have one appear... :rolleyes:

Very curious. I thought the exchange rate had swung your way. :huh: :eh?:

My favorite Cemoticon, and one to which you yanks haven't access, is the little polite face that appears very self-conscious and niave....true Canadiana. A cross between :huh: and :mellow: and :unsure: .....

:lol: rofl

Oooh!!!!!! All sorts of silly action for me to catch up on. Glad I pooped in betw errands.

Just bought some sublingual B12 - "damn the sorbitol - full undertongueing ahead!" ^_^

tom Contributor
And we United Stations Statians have an Americaniemoticon which has an apple pie balanced on his cabbage head and fireworks shootin' out of his arse. It's this one :o I'm sure you can't see the pie or fireworks, but perhaps now you can better understand his expression.

GAH!!!! That's one Roamin' Candle :o :o

Mtndog Collaborator

i somehow have a feeling this is gonna be a two parter <_<

Patti- Most excellent joke!!!!!!!! There's uhm...somfin' I've been meaning to tell you guys and better before Janet comes and lets the proverbial cat out of the bag. I think you all know what I'm getting at.

janet- Glad the tonsils came out obediently- they can be quite fresh!!!!!!!! Ice cream?

But last night they took him off the ATIVAN they'd been feeding him.....and now my dad's back. :)

Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cuz we all love him. Emily- Ggotta tell you that EVERY time I see a standard poodle I cackle cuz all I can think is SUBstandard poodle :lol:

No, not everyone knows about this place, I suspect. But when you go, stop at Big Sur Bakery - it's called Loma Linda and there is the kookiest store there, a kooky but fabulous outdoor garden/gallery/performance area, and many local nuts. I stop in there every time. They told us to climb in this newly-built tree-house thingy, and we did.

That is SUCH a cool picture. I love the local nuts- Bolinas has EXCELLENT ones!

BUT YOU'RE BOTH SMOKING THOSE VILE THINGS???????? :blink:

Screw that SUSAN JANE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not quittin' 'til you pledge to also!!!!!!!

Ohhh...you are in TROUBLE!!!!!!! Ptaum- we gotta talk about this smoking thing!!!

Susie . . . my totally unsolicited advice . . . give up the nutmeg cinnamon clove cigarettes and keep the chocolate.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Or try smoking the Green faerie....I hear it's quite wonderful. i grew some in my backyard last summer (just a type of salvia) but kept finding all these hippie dudes out back every night playing drums and well, frankly, it gt embarassing when they set up a nudist colony so I burned it.

Whoa......Don't think I know too many guys who'd start turning up at the mention of menstruation. Think we should stick with tassel-twirling.... :lol:

I do miss King Richard- hang on- let me let out the mating call of the founder:

TASSLES ARE TWIRLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Send me your extra Castle copy, toot sweet. I'm heading out on spring break in about two weeks and will need something to read on the long ride to Bev's Boston.

It's true- she's coming! She's coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tom Contributor

Oops double!!!

elye Community Regular
Emily - shall *I* tell the yanks 'we' commonwealthers can see each others native Emoticons??

:lol::lol: (If you're American they may look like lol guy........but are they??????.............)

:lol::lol:

Indeed, Nikki...While those of us within the Commonwealth Emoticon Alliance know exactly what we are suggesting when using these faces-- ^_^-_-:mellow: --I'm suspecting the Yanks haven't caught on.......

:lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Actually, DH was reading it at the same time as DD and me (it got very ridiculous...all of us picking up a copy, unfolding the marked page, moving the bookmark)... When Sophie went to bed, DH and I would each have our own copy, so we'd be lying in bed reading the same book. Would have made a terrific photo for something..... :huh::lol:

Therefore, as my husband read and enjoyed it, you can be certain it has some references to cars and boobs.

:lol:

It's one of my favorite books EVER, and I'm not even finished. I find it absolutely fascinating, the way these rather feral parents raised their kids. Quite a dichotomy - a compelling and wonderful free-spirited, adventuresome rebelliousness and TOTAL non-coddling of the kids....but it borders on - or is distinctly, sometimes - child abuse. :blink: I think the kids all turned out to be quite resilient....still looking into that. The author herself paid for her own college education at Barnard.

I REALLY want more books that are this riveting....I have about, oh, say, 20 or 30 I'm reading here that I can't even bother to finish, and probably never will. :ph34r:

What so many men are "absolutely certain" they've heard whispered as they leave the gym locker room........

Mad :lol: :lol: :lol:

janet- Glad the tonsils came out obediently- they can be quite fresh!!!!!!!! Ice cream?

gah :lol: :lol:

I really loved my surgery. Appendectomy. Mommy came adn took care of me - a 40-year-old woman - for five days. And I got to take Darvocet. ;)

Or try smoking the Green faerie....I hear it's quite wonderful. i grew some in my backyard last summer (just a type of salvia) but kept finding all these hippie dudes out back every night playing drums and well, frankly, it gt embarassing when they set up a nudist colony so I burned it.

OMG - is this an urban legend - the salvia? I want some... will it take away my anxiety? :unsure:

I do not LIKE this I do not LIKE this and - - Kissey wants his original Kissey back. :(

okay now back to painting.........and Brad's given me some tapes so back to transcribing.......

bah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG - is Janet REALLY going to see Bev, or just threatening?????????? :P

elye Community Regular
Quite a dichotomy - a compelling and wonderful free-spirited, adventuresome rebelliousness and TOTAL non-coddling of the kids....but it borders on - or is distinctly, sometimes - child abuse. :blink:

OMG--for me there was never a question--absolute, blatant abuse, continually. A wonderful read, more so due to the fact that it is autobiographical...but certainly not a laugh a minute. I thought much of what the children were forced to live through was quite horrific....demoralizing...dangerous....

I was quite surprised to see DD reading it for school. Gad, we never had any books like this on our reading list in grade nine, I tell ya. Pure Canadiana (yawn)...Who Has Seen the Wind, The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.....

Times have indeed changed..... <_<

OMG - is this an urban legend - the salvia? I want some... will it take away my anxiety?

I want some, too!! Perhaps they should offer it to hospital patients in place of ativan. Might have made my dad relaxed but still....Dad. :rolleyes:

Darn210 Enthusiast
OMG - is Janet REALLY going to see Bev, or just threatening?????????? :P

If Bev can fit me into her busy schedule . . . we will be in Boxford from the 5th through the 11th or 12th. We will have some mandatory Bostonian sight-seeing to perform, but we're flexible at this point.

Darn210 Enthusiast

And next year, we are talking about heading out to Washington to see my brother (West Richland) and spend a little time in Seattle . . . Jess's neck of the woods but apparently (based on her profile) she lives in the middle of Puget Sound so we might have to rent a boat.

elye Community Regular
Quite a dichotomy - a compelling and wonderful free-spirited, adventuresome rebelliousness and TOTAL non-coddling of the kids....but it borders on - or is distinctly, sometimes - child abuse. :blink:

OMG--for me there was never a question--absolute, blatant abuse, continually. A wonderful read, more so due to the fact that it is autobiographical...but certainly not a laugh a minute. I thought much of what the children were forced to live through was quite horrific....demoralizing...dangerous....

I was quite surprised to see DD reading it for school. Gad, we never had any books like this on our reading list in grade nine, I tell ya. Pure Canadiana (yawn)...Who Has Seen the Wind, The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.....

Times have indeed changed..... <_<

OMG - is this an urban legend - the salvia? I want some... will it take away my anxiety?

I want some, too!! Perhaps they should offer it to hospital patients in place of ativan. Might have made my dad relaxed but still....Dad. :rolleyes:

elye Community Regular
And next year, we are talking about heading out to Washington to see my brother (West Richland) and spend a little time in Seattle . . . Jess's neck of the woods but apparently (based on her profile) she lives in the middle of Puget Sound so we might have to rent a boat.

And then, Janet, you must head due north, where you can hit Alex, Peter and me. No boat needed. If you come soon, you'll likely still need snowshoes, howevah.... <_<

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      My chest pain has been caused by costochondritis, as well as times when iron supplements has given me such bad bloating it has put pressure on my back and chest, and reflux can do the same. Also, along the lines of Wheatwacked's suggestion above, is it possible you had an injury to your chest/ribs way back that is being set off by either some sort of gastrointestinal bloating/discomfort? I distinctly remember really hurting a rib over forty years ago when I misjudged a wall and thought it was just behind me but in fact it wasn't.  I fell badly against the wall and I think I cracked a rib then.  For some strange reason I didn't tell anyone but I think had I gone to hospital an X-ray would have revealed a fracture. I think that rib has not been right since and I am sure that bloating makes it worse, as well as heavy lifting.
    • Dora77
      Sorry for the long post. I’m 18, and I was diagnosed with celiac disease and type 1 diabetes (T1D). My transglutaminase IgA was >128 U/mL, EMA IgA positive twice, and I’m HLA-DQ2 and DQ8 positive. I’ve been completely asymptomatic since diagnosis, even when I cheated with gluten sometimes in the past and used to eat out(2-5 years ago) I don’t get the typical celiac reactions, which makes it really hard to know when (or if) I’ve been glutened. But for the past year, I’ve been the most strict with my diet, and that’s also when a bunch of new issues started. I eat completely glutenfree, never eat out, dont eat food that says „may contain gluten“.   Current Health Problems • Floating, undigested stools for over a year now. Dont think its related to celiac as it was like this since im 17 and not 13-16( i got diagnosed at 13). • Chronic back pain started gradually, worsens with movement, lots of cracking/popping sounds. Been ongoing for a year now. First noticed in the gym. • Abdominal bulge on the right side, not painful but seems to be getting slightly bigger. Doctor didn’t find a hernia on ultrasound, but it was done lying down (I’ve read those can miss hernias). Noticed it like 6 months ago, couldve been there longer. • extremely dry and mildly swollen hands (this started before I started excessive hand-washing), and bloated face. • Signs of inattentive ADHD (noticed over the past 3 years), now combined with severe OCD focused on contamination and cross-contact. • Growth/puberty seemed to started after going gluten-free. Before that I was not developing. Dont know if any of these are because of celiac as my dad doesnt have those and he is a lot less strict gluten-free then me. I also had pancreatic elastase tested four times: values were 46 (very low), 236, 158, and 306 (normal). Gastroenterologist said one normal value is enough and I don’t have EPI. Family doctor prescribed Kreon anyway (after I pushed for it), and I just started taking 1 capsule (10,000 units) with meals 2 days ago, but couldn‘t see effects yet because I’ve been constipated the last few days. Maybe because of thyroid. I don’t have Hashimoto’s. No thyroid antibodies. But I took levothyroxine for slightly low FT4 levels. My thyroid levels fluctuated between borderline low and low-normal. And recently lowered my dose so that may have caused the constipating. I probably didn’t need it in the first place, and am thinking about stopping it soon.   Current Diet Right now, I only eat a very limited set of “safe” foods I prepare myself: • Gluten-free bread with tuna or cheese • Milk and cornflakes • gluten-free cookies/snacks • Bananas (the only fruit I trust right now) I rarely eat other fruits or vegetables, because I’m scared of contamination. My dad, who also has celiac but doesn’t care about CC, buys fruits, and he might’ve picked them up right after handling gluten bread. That makes me feel unsafe eating them. Even fruit at stores or markets feels risky because so many people with gluten on their hands touch them.   My Home Situation (Shared Kitchen) We’re a family of 5. Only my dad and I have celiac. He eats glutenfree but doesn’t care about CC and sometimes (but rarely) cheats. My mom and siblings eat gluten bread at every meal. My mom is honest (so if i ask her to be cautious, she most likely would try to), but doesn’t seem to understand how serious celiac is. She: • Stopped using gluten flour • only cooks gluten-free meals (but they still heat up gluten bread and also cook gluten noodles) • Keeps separate butter/jam/jars for me • Bought me a stainless steel pan Bu we didn’t replace old wooden utensils, cutting boards, or other pans. The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
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