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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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Jestgar Rising Star
Sillies I am a fat, gutter-wigged, slovenly, pre-menstrual bloated hag. Lovely. :huh:

They have some of those on the petfinder site as well. I understand that they're really hard to find homes for


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DingoGirl Enthusiast
(But he doesn't like being called a Big Foot- says he PURE YETI!!!!)

:lol: :lol: :lol:

They have some of those on the petfinder site as well. I understand that they're really hard to find homes for

:lol: Indeed, but for three weeks out of the month, we make lovely pets. :lol:

~alex~ Explorer
Yeah, what she said . . . (I couldn't have said it better, Emily) . . . good thoughts for you both.

Ditto -- funerals are exhausting and painful but an important part of the healing process I think. As I'm sure you're well aware of Tom, it means a heck of a lot to the family to have friends of the person there.

And Jess, I'm so sorry about Sampson. I'm sure your other boy is helping to keep you strong.

I have a minor issue. Ryan and I are starting to plan a honeymoon and we're thinking of Bahamas or Bermuda or for an entirely different vacation, Disney World. BUT I think I've developed a fear of flying. I keep shying away from anywhere that would require flying. I don't know where this is coming from. I've flown dozens of time with my parents and a few times with Ryan and never a bad experience but now my palms start to sweat just thinking about it. I know it's ridiculous -- that the most dangerous part of your trip is the drive to the airport. Arggg. Hopefully I can overcome this. I don't want to limit my travels now or in the future because of an irrational fear. <_<

psawyer Proficient
Looking at new friends. I don't deal well with empty spaces. I think Jimmy and Clarisse probably need to be a pair, and Leo looks like a demon in a cute suit.

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Leo is adorable!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Looking at new friends. I don't deal well with empty spaces. I think Jimmy and Clarisse probably need to be a pair, and Leo looks like a demon in a cute suit.

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Leo's a cutie!!! Are you up for a kitten though?? As much as I like puppies, I don't want to own another one.

Here's one I found when I went out shoppin' for ya'

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I have no idea how far away that is . . . but her name just called out to me for some reason . . . :lol: . . . plus the exta toe thing is kind of cool. Would Lyle (is that his name?) prefer a boy or a girl???

elye Community Regular
Looking at new friends. I don't deal well with empty spaces. I think Jimmy and Clarisse probably need to be a pair, and Leo looks like a demon in a cute suit.

Wow!! Out of despair sometimes comes some happinesss...Jess, you now have the opportunity to rescue another darling (or darlings)!...

Leo is absolutely adorable. Those two big adolescent siblings,however, kind of stole my heart. They will indeed be less "attractive" to the normal pet shopper, and will wait and wait while the darling kittens get scooped up...Jess, adopt them both!!! Please!!! :):):lol:

YES!!!!!!! the Silly Chalet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is brilliant...........yes Sarah, where DO we send the cheque??? :P

If I had a million dollars.....

Okay, a couple of million...... :rolleyes:

Weezee and I are jumping on the plane. Shall I just check my wheelbarrow through, or could that be a carry-on?

You know, that's not a bad idea....wheelbarrows would be great suitcases. They've got a wheel, they're easy to maneuver and push, and you could pile all yer stuff in 'em.

Sillies I am a fat, gutter-wigged, slovenly, pre-menstrual bloated hag. Lovely.

Oh, sure....... <_<;)

Ptaum - the funeral........are you going? I have to say, I really like funerals. :ph34r: I know, weird.......but - - people are suddenly in touch w/ their mortality, and usually are tender-hearted in their moments of reflection........happy to see old friends/loved ones, and bearing no artifice or pretense (usually). a lovely time to reflect and share................

Yep, in my experience also. I find them very tough, but you're right, Susie....people are grieving, and at their most real, I believe....

Didn't get to see Lars last night. It was on the illegal movie website, :ph34r: and it kept buffering and cutting out, so we gave up. I will rent it, however. Looks fab.

Hopefully I can overcome this. I don't want to limit my travels now or in the future because of an irrational fear. <_<

Okay, yet another job for our yeti! He loves to fly, and as Bev has said, he's very gentle, reassuring and calm. He can accompany you and Ryan on your flight to and from your honeymoon, and can make you drinks/provide protection/clear a spot on the beach for you. :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Okay, yet another job for our yeti! He loves to fly, and as Bev has said, he's very gentle, reassuring and calm. He can accompany you and Ryan on your flight to and from your honeymoon, and can make you drinks/provide protection/clear a spot on the beach for you. :lol:

. . . and you, Alex, get to figure out how to put sunscreen on him!!! :lol:


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nikki-uk Enthusiast
Looking at new friends. I don't deal well with empty spaces. I think Jimmy and Clarisse probably need to be a pair, and Leo looks like a demon in a cute suit.

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GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

KITTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get them ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (AND Janet's one)

BE the mad cat lady ;)

Hey Ptaughmn - hope today went ok :)

Did I read the yeti's going on Alex and Ryan's honeymoon???? :blink: .....he does like the warm climes and he's busting to show someone his Disney pics ;):lol:

Susie wrote cheQUE - without CAPITILIZING ...as if she were a Brit :blink: ...... :lol: good girl!

Mygawd!! It's bedtime already!!.... got nothing done.. :rolleyes: AGAIN!!

DingoGirl Enthusiast

polydactyl cats. :lol:

Oh that Leo......he is a wicked imp, way too cute but yeah, the teenaged pair would be quite good to adopt....

Nicola's piggy-bat is bag and gives me enormous glee. :lol: :lol:

ALEX!!!!!!!!! I have two friends and a mom who are beyond terrified of flying. My mom really almost will never do it........however if she IS forced to fly (every decade or so), she does take a valium or a xanax or sumfin. True story. My two friends will do this also, and it helps them enormously, as they just don't apparently care about their fear any more. :lol:

(there I am, pushing drugs again!! :lol: )

SILLIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what in hell am I going to make for dinner? we have a friend coming over....I am SICK SICK SICK of all my foods. :angry: want sumfin new................................. what r yer favorites, sillies? for a HOT summer's day (in May :blink: )

Kissey will NOT I repeat NOT eat the following......ever: :blink:

mushrooms

onions - in things, not in things

tomatoes *sniff*

fruit (seriously. only bananas, and the occasional apple - goes MONTHS without fruit and I am checking his gums fer skurveigh))

all veggies except 2 to 4 asparagus spears at a time, or TWO brussels sprouts.....or carrots or cauliflower

:huh:

oh wait - the good news - he WILL eat salad..........

the list is longer - baked dingo brain can't think - -

oh and by the way - he puts CHEESE and GARBANZO BEANS on everything :blink:

also - - I really want a hot dog and a bun. really, really badly. :( it's killing me. What do you guys do about this? may have to post topic on this..........am craving madly......

NICOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Weezee and I'll be over tomorrow, want damp, dank air, gloomy skies, boiled sweets, and a nap on yer couch wif a blankie.....can we drink hot toddies and eat snacks whilst we watch British films????? :D

~alex~ Explorer
Okay, yet another job for our yeti! He loves to fly, and as Bev has said, he's very gentle, reassuring and calm. He can accompany you and Ryan on your flight to and from your honeymoon, and can make you drinks/provide protection/clear a spot on the beach for you. :lol:

Sounds like a plan! And if we go to Mexico, we'll definitely need him for protection -- another Canadian shot and killed in Mexico yesterday. In Cabo San Lucas too! My dad took a holiday to Cabo not too long ago. :unsure: (Saying Cabo is almost as fun as saying The Cape -- I think Cabo may actually mean Cape too?)

. . . and you, Alex, get to figure out how to put sunscreen on him!!! :lol:

Yikes, sounds like a messy affair.

Susie wrote cheQUE - without CAPITILIZING ...as if she were a Brit :blink: ...... :lol: good girl!

How do Americans spell Cheque? Just Check? That makes me giggle.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Nicola's piggy-bat is bag and gives me enormous glee. :lol: :lol:

OK . . . yes . . . what is this return of the piggy-bat?? Apparently it was here before? What's it suppose to be/mean/do? It looks like a bat trying to . . . well, you know . . . with a pig!!! Is that the intent?? The bat's so blind, it can't tell the difference??? WHAT IS THIS THING??!!??

Susie, do you like PF Chang's Lettuce wraps? I've got a recipe for that. Will Kissey eat a little lettuce? Perhaps it's too saucy . . .

DingoGirl Enthusiast
How do Americans spell Cheque? Just Check? That makes me giggle.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Yes, just CHECK. Very boring, very pedestrian, very American. It makes me giggle that CHECK makes Alex giggle. :lol: :lol:

Susie, do you like PF Chang's Lettuce wraps? I've got a recipe for that. Will Kissey eat a little lettuce? Perhaps it's too saucy . . .

OMG I forgot about his sauce issues. :blink::lol: BUT HELL YEAH, gimme the recipe!!!!!!!!!! I could TOTALLY make this fer dinner tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (or not - famous herbed/vegetable meatloaf on standby)

Um.........the piggy bat - - lemme think - - I think those are some of Alan's toys and.....somehow this convergence of pig and bat came together a while ago, developed by Alan's demented mother, I believe. :lol: :lol:

elye Community Regular

OMG....Pigs and bats....... :lol:

Kissey will NOT I repeat NOT eat the following......ever: :blink:

mushrooms

onions - in things, not in things

tomatoes *sniff*

fruit (seriously. only bananas, and the occasional apple - goes MONTHS without fruit and I am checking his gums fer skurveigh))

all veggies except 2 to 4 asparagus spears at a time, or TWO brussels sprouts.....or carrots or cauliflower

oh and by the way - he puts CHEESE and GARBANZO BEANS on everything :blink:

Susie......you've got a weird guy, there. :lol:

Thank gawd I have someone who will eat anything put in front of him (well....except maybe poop, er sumfin')....

Now, the children remain a different matter..... :angry:

also - - I really want a hot dog and a bun. really, really badly. it's killing me. What do you guys do about this? may have to post topic on this..........am craving madly......

Susie! Can't you get gluten-free hot dog buns? I buy mine at the natural food store here...they are not Kinnikinnik, but some other brand....and they're very good.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Susie......you've got a weird guy, there. :lol:

:lol: Oh yeah, tell me about it. 'tis like feeding a very picky four-year-old. Just put Ranch on top of everything. :blink:

Susie! Can't you get gluten-free hot dog buns? I buy mine at the natural food store here...they are not Kinnikinnik, but some other brand....and they're very good.

:o what? never tried! Because, I don't even know what kind of hot dog to eat!!!!!! what should I get, that tastes decent? OMG - have not had a hot dog w/ fixin's in, what, 2.5 years??????? this could change my life...... :P

Darn210 Enthusiast
OMG I forgot about his sauce issues. :blink::lol: BUT HELL YEAH, gimme the recipe!!!!!!!!!! I could TOTALLY make this fer dinner tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (or not - famous herbed/vegetable meatloaf on standby)

2 garlic cloves (I use the minced stuff in the jar)

1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast coarsly chopped (could use ground chicken from store if you can buy it that way)

1 Tbsp dark sesame oil

1/4 cup chopped fresh mint (I skip this and don't miss it . . . who has mint just laying around the house)

3 Tbsp teriyaki sauce (I use LaChoy)

1 Tbsp peanut butter (I usually use double)

1 tsp brown sugar

1 tsp chili-garlic paste (Sometimes I substitute red pepper flakes or ground red pepper)

1/2 tsp dried ground ginger

2 green onions chopped (I usually skip this, too, unless I have actually planned ahead to make it)

Lettuce Leaves of choice (we use romaine)

I also either use chunky peanut butter or throw in a Tblspoon or two of chopped peanuts . . . we like the crunch.

Pulse garlic in food processor until minced. Add chicken and pulse until ground to the texture of ground beef. Cook chicken/garlic in hot sesame oil in large skillet over medium heat, stirring occasionally until chicken is done. Stir in mint (if you're actually gonna use it) and the rest of the ingredients except for the lettuce. Cook until thoroughly heated. Spoon onto lettuce leaves or directly into mouth.

elye Community Regular

Ohhhhh, Janet......does that recipe sound Yummmmmmmmmmy..... :):)

Susie, the hot dog buns are Kinnikinnik. We also get their hamburger buns. They are very good! Unfortunately, quite $$$$ as well....but worth it!

DingoGirl Enthusiast

Oh thank you Ghah-noet for that recipe!!!!!! sounds delish, will try that this week for sure. sticking w/ meatloaf tonight......have all the stuff here.............wonder if ground turkey would be okay in the lettuce wraps? used to cook wif it, it's been years..................

Okay - the buns - yay! now - what about the dogs???

Darn210 Enthusiast
Okay - the buns - yay! now - what about the dogs???

We use Ball Park Beef Franks - the ones that are individually wrapped so they (theoretically) have a longer shelf life. Oscar Mayer is part of Kraft, you can read the labels on their dogs to see if they're OK.

Jestgar Rising Star

y'all never get far from food, do you?

Called about the kitties. The won't send a kitten to a home with an adult cat (WTH?!?!) and the other two are basically feral, and have a presumptive home, so that's good. Leo is cute enough that I'm sure he'll find a place.

Mango is quite cute, but several hours away. I'll keep her in mind and see if anything come up closer.

What's up with the piggy-bat. Is that like a coin saving device that sucks your blood if you only put in pennies?

Mtndog Collaborator

Ptaum- Thinking of you! Jess- Get 'em, all as someone said and be the mad cat lady. If I didn't has a husband, I would be the mad pet lady (so hubby tells me!).

They have some of those on the petfinder site as well. I understand that they're really hard to find homes for

Nah, someone took me in!!!!!! :P

I have a minor issue. Ryan and I are starting to plan a honeymoon and we're thinking of Bahamas or Bermuda or for an entirely different vacation, Disney World. BUT I think I've developed a fear of flying. I keep shying away from anywhere that would require flying. I don't know where this is coming from. I've flown dozens of time with my parents and a few times with Ryan and never a bad experience but now my palms start to sweat just thinking about it. I know it's ridiculous -- that the most dangerous part of your trip is the drive to the airport. Arggg. Hopefully I can overcome this. I don't want to limit my travels now or in the future because of an irrational fear. <_<

Ugh....phobias STINK (mine is bridges but only when I am the one driving). There are some anti-anxiety meds you can get OR learn to meditate and visualize yourself LOVING flying. I think it must be one of the most common phobias.

Sounds like a plan! And if we go to Mexico, we'll definitely need him for protection -- another Canadian shot and killed in Mexico yesterday. In Cabo San Lucas too! My dad took a holiday to Cabo not too long ago. :unsure: (Saying Cabo is almost as fun as saying The Cape -- I think Cabo may actually mean Cape too?)

POOPY! I've always wanted to go to Cabo (now it sounds like Cape Fear!). Have to say I HIGHLY recommend Cozumel- so beautiful, incredible snorkeling!

::o what? never tried! Because, I don't even know what kind of hot dog to eat!!!!!! what should I get, that tastes decent? OMG - have not had a hot dog w/ fixin's in, what, 2.5 years??????? this could change my life...... :P

OMG.....love Boar's Head and Hebrew National (cuz THEY answer to a higher authority- always crack up at their packaging). Only eat hot dogs in the summer. YUMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hot dogs........ insert Homer Simpson voice!)

Darn210 Enthusiast

OK. I've got an update on my son. We've had a few appts/tests. Here's the synopsis:

Very minor allergic blip to milk and eggs (low end of Class 2 on a RAST test) . . . GI said not to worry about it.

Tonsils out with doc saying there was old infection.

And here's the latest . . . His Resting Energy Expenditure test says his metobolism is 27% higher than an average 9 year old boy, even though he's 15 pounds lighter. In order for him to catch up, he needs to be eating about 2000 calories/day!!! Every meal is a battle <_< . The good news is the GI was happy with a 3 pound weight gain in the last two months and so no more testing and he wants to see us again in three months to make sure he's still putting on weight. I wish I could eat for him . . . I have no problems with 2000 cal/day . . . also wish my metabolism was 27% higher than the average 43 year old woman <_<

Mtndog Collaborator
What's up with the piggy-bat. Is that like a coin saving device that sucks your blood if you only put in pennies?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

You're near Seattle, right? How about Open Original Shared Link

OK. I've got an update on my son. We've had a few appts/tests. Here's the synopsis:

I have no problems with 2000 cal/day . . . also wish my metabolism was 27% higher than the average 43 year old woman <_<

Wow- that is crazy! Glad there's no major allergies. Tonsils you say? make him eat an ice cream sundae every night (will you adopt me? :P )

Jestgar Rising Star
You're near Seattle, right? How about Open Original Shared Link

They are cute. I was also looking at Sasha

Open Original Shared Link

Jestgar Rising Star

Tom, how are you?

elye Community Regular

Yes, Ptaoughmnhmn....how did the day go?

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The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
    • lmemsm
      I've been making a lot of black bean brownies lately because it's one of the few gluten free dessert recipes that actually tastes palatable.  I've also seen chocolate cake recipes with black beans.  Someone mentioned a cookie recipe using lentils in place of flour.  Just wondering if anyone's run across any tried and true recipes using beans, lentils or peas for desserts?  I've seen a lot of recipes for garbanzo flour but I'm allergic to garbanzo beans/chickpeas.  Was wondering if adzuki or pinto beans might be useful in replacing some or all of the flour in baking.  Since gluten free flours can be crumbly was hoping the beans might help produce a better, less crumbly consistency.  Any recommendations for recipes?  Thanks.
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