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You're Know You're A Celiac If...


chgomom

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chgomom Enthusiast

You know you're a celiac if...

...you've ever been caught licking a discarded Twinkie wrapper.

...at Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

...you've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

...you weep at picnics, parties, receptions and fast food joints.

...you weep at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

...you've ever "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner engagement.

...a 7 Course Meal is a 1 Course Meal for you. Lettuce.

...you've installed floor-to-ceiling bookcases in your bathroom.

...you've ever driven more than 40 miles to buy flour or a cookie.

...it takes you 4 hours to grocery shop and your eyesight is

ruined.

...you hyperventilate when passing by the bakery counter.

...you've ever deliberately rammed your cart into a Shredded Wheat

display in a fit of rage.

...you've ever had to take out a loan to pay the grocery bill.

...you'd gladly pay any price for a pretzel that doesn't taste like

sawdust, or bread that doesn't taste like an old shoe.

...the centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine with memorial candles.

...your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play

Doh.

...your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

...one of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo

Cookies".

...you've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your

mayo.


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  • Replies 112
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Guest Kathy Ann

...you've brought a suitcase full of food with you on a cruise.

chgomom Enthusiast
...you've brought a suitcase full of food with you on a cruise.

*lol*

AndreaB Contributor

I don't have anything to add........ :lol::lol::lol:

Guest Kathy Ann

I actually did that. And the airlines and the cruise line searched my suitcase twice! Probably thought I was a whacko. :blink:

AndreaB Contributor
I actually did that. And the airlines and the cruise line searched my suitcase twice! Probably thought I was a whacko. :blink:

:ph34r::blink::lol:

They obviously hadn't met too many celiacs.

chgomom Enthusiast

.........You pace and circle the store three or four times when deciding on a new product, pick it up look at the ingredients, each time. Only to leave without it, figuring why bother.


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ArtGirl Enthusiast
.........You pace and circle the store three or four times when deciding on a new product, pick it up look at the ingredients, each time. Only to leave without it, figuring why bother.

Boy, do I relate to that. :blink:

LonelyWolf307 Rookie

...your family thinks you're crazy for not tasting their new chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipe, because surely a little nibble couldn't hurt right?

Guest Kathy Ann

.......your financial portfolio consists of stock in two major toilet paper companies.

.......you are up late at night trying to develop a recipe for pizza without flour, cheese, yeast, tomatoes, beef, garlic and oregano.

.......you can spell transglutaminase and dermetitis herpetiformis.

.......you just discovered how to make flour out of turnips.

.......you show up at the annual church pancake breakfast with a mask and sardine lettuce rollups

Kody Rookie
.......your financial portfolio consists of stock in two major toilet paper companies.

.......you are up late at night trying to develop a recipe for pizza without flour, cheese, yeast, tomatoes, beef, garlic and oregano.

.......you can spell transglutaminase and dermetitis herpetiformis.

.......you just discovered how to make flour out of turnips.

.......you show up at the annual church pancake breakfast with a mask and sardine lettuce rollups

hahahah... :lol:

I can't think of anything... I've only been a certified Celiac for three days now. :(

Guest Kathy Ann

Don't worry......you'll get your sense of humor back! :D:D

Kody Rookie
Don't worry......you'll get your sense of humor back! :D:D

Uh, I hope so... always being sick kinda ruins your life in general. <_<

AndreaB Contributor

Kathy Ann,

Those are great!

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Kody Rookie

...... you carry an ingredient list everywhere you go :( at least I do... hah

...... you buy cookies at a water store

Guest Kathy Ann

See? Now you're getting the hang of it! :D:D

Drama-Queen Rookie

....having solid poop is the highlight of your day.

....you have actually doodled a new cartoon dog on your notes named "Sprue"

.....you have a sign in your kitchen saying "Gluten free environment"

.....you have actually considered using a gluten-free bagel for a hockey puck

:P

Guest melannen
....having solid poop is the highlight of your day.

:P

hahahaha

There was another thread like this awhile ago (I just found it yesterday). Check it out Open Original Shared Link

jaten Enthusiast

You have to buy extra memory for your Treo to be able to carry all your gluten-free food and restaurant suggestions

angel-jd1 Community Regular
.......you can spell transglutaminase and dermetitis herpetiformis.

haha just incase you are practicing the spelling.............................dermAtitis herpetiformis :lol:

marciab Enthusiast

...you've mastered saying "I actually enjoy MY food" ... without your face twitching ... :D Marcia

chgomom Enthusiast

you've gotten in the habit of looking in the toilet everytime you go, as though its a crystal ball.

TriticusToxicum Explorer

...you know all about xanthan gum and its uses.

...you have ever dreamt about Wonder Bread.

2kids4me Contributor

... you hide the gluten-free cookies when guests come over, so they dont eat them.

tarnalberry Community Regular

You read the ingredient label on green tea - plain green tea.

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    • catnapt
      so do you have celiac or not? 🤔 why are your vision issues undiagnosed? 😢 what does your ophthalmologist say?  do you have a serious vit A deficiency? what do you take for it? how long have you had celiac disease and how long did  it take to get a diagnosis?   if you are legally blind there are adaptive devices that will help you. I have vision difficulties as well but did not qualify (at least not yet)   do you have a vit A deficiency? why are you undiagnosed? what does your ophthalmologist say? I have a retinal specialist and he tells me my eye condition can not be fixed- until/unless it gets to the point of where surgery is safer since the surgery can leave me actually blind... so you want to wait til it gets really bad 🤪     I hope you find what works for you.    PS   the medication I started at the same time as the gluten challenge is obvious from the condition it's trying to treat. you can google it 😉 it is not an for any auto immune condition.   
    • knitty kitty
      @catnapt,  I apologize.  Obviously I've confused you with someone else.  I have vision problems due to undiagnosed Celiac complications.  Being legally blind, y'all look the same from here.   You still have not said which new medication you started taking.  Parathyroid disorders can affect antibody production.  Bone Loss Correlated with Parathyroid Hormone Levels in Adult Celiac Patients https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36619734/ Effect of vitamin B1 supplementation on bone turnover markers in adults: an exploratory single-arm pilot study https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12075007/
    • catnapt
      during the gluten challenge I did not consume any wheat germ   the wheat germ is TOASTED - it's the only way it is sold now afiak doesn't matter I consume vast amounts of lectin containing foods PROPERLY prepared and have for well over a decade. They do not bother me in the least.    no anemia however the endo who ordered the celiac panel is the one who suggested the 2 week gluten challenge of eating at least 2 slices of bread per day or a serving of pasta- ALSO put me on a new drug at the same time (not a good idea)  I ate 4 slices because they were thin, or 2 English muffins, and just once some lasagna that someone else made since I stopped eating wheat pasta years ago. The English muffins caused some of the worst symptoms but that pc of lasagna almost killed me ( not literally but the pain was extreme) during those 12 days there were at least 3 times I considered going to Urgent Care.   This entire process was a waste of time TBH due to being on that new drug at the exact same time. it is impossible to tell if the drug I am taking for the possible renal calcium leak is working or not- given the dramatic response to the gluten challenge and resulting nausea (no vomiting) and eventually a loss of appetite and lower intake of foods so now I have a dangerously low potassium level   I don't have a simple case of celiac or no- I have an extremely complicated case with multiple variables I am seeing an endocrinologist for a problem with the calcium sensing glands - that system is very complicated and she has been unable to give me a firm diagnosis after many tests with confusing and often alarming results. She also appears to be inexperienced and unsure of herself. but I don't have the luxury of finding a new endo due to multiple issues of insurance, lack of drs in my area, money and transportation. so I'm stuck with her At least she hasn't given up    in any case I can assure you that lectins are not and never were the problem. I know they are a favorite villain in some circles to point to, but I have ZERO symptoms from my NORMAL diet which DOES NOT contain gluten. The longer I went without bread or foods with wheat like raisin bran cereal, the better I have felt. my body had been telling me for several years that wheat was the problem- or maybe specifically gluten, that remains to be seen- and stopping eating it was the best thing I could have done   I almost had unnecessary MAJOR SURGERY due to joint pain that I ONLY have if I am eating bread or related products I assumed it was the refined grains - never really suspected gluten but it does not matter I won't put that poison in my body ever again not that it is literally poison but it is def toxic to me        
    • knitty kitty
      @catnapt,  I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.   How much wheat germ and how much gluten were you eating? Lectins in beans can be broken down by pressure cooking them.  Do you pressure cook your beans?  Were you pressure cooking your wheat germ? What drugs are you taking?  Some immunosuppressive drugs affect IgA production.  Do you have anemia?
    • catnapt
      oops my gluten challenge was only 12 days It started Jan 21s and ended Feb 1st   worst 12 days of my life   Does not help that I also started on a thiazide-like drug for rule in/out renal calcium leak at the exact same time No clue if that could have been symptoms worse 🤔
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