Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Dating A Gluten-eater

elonwy

By elonwy
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

elonwy Enthusiast
elonwy
Posted

So I've been seeing this guy, and I really like him. We were long distance for a while, and now I've moved up here for my new job and have been staying with him temporarily. Hes sweet and cute and nice.

Theres one problem. He eats gluten filled stuff constantly. He lives on junk food. He's always snacking, and isn't too careful where the crumbs go. After watching him eat and seeing how messy he is, I've gotten to the point where I barely want to touch him, cause I feel like I'd be hugging a bakery aisle. He's also not so careful about putting his gluteny food near my gluten free food, he tries, I'll give him that, but he's super forgetful and I've been glutened several times in his house just cause the kitchen isn't very clean, even though I'm trying my best to be careful.

So the question is... Am I over-reacting? I feel like a jerk because I don't want to touch his because of his eating habits, but I also don't want to be sick. What do I do?

Elonwy

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I think you need to find your own place ... probably too soon to be sharing one. Once you date a while, he will learn more about you and will understand how important it is you stay gluten-free.

elonwy Enthusiast
elonwy
Posted
  • Author

Yeah I have an apartment that I move into next weekend, so that will be fixed soon. Defnitly too soon to be living together. I just want to get back to the point where I actually want to kiss him again.

-E

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
Yeah I have an apartment that I move into next weekend, so that will be fixed soon. Defnitly too soon to be living together. I just want to get back to the point where I actually want to kiss him again.

-E

I bet you'll want to when you have your own place. ;)

darlindeb25 Collaborator
darlindeb25
Posted

He has to get to the point where he understands that he MUST be careful around you. The man I see, will come over during my lunch and if he has stopped for a sandwich, he warns me as he walks in, he will say, "I just ate a sammich, don't kiss my mouth!" I love how Long Islanders say sandwich :lol: . Before I had all of these other intolerances, he would buy me gluten free cookies and cakes and be so proud he found them, but now he doesn't understand my intolerances anymore and brings me coffee, which he knows is safe. When he eats his sandwich at the kitchen table, he will get a paper towel and clean it all off--it's great. He has never glutened me with a kiss, NEVER. He also would always eat my homemade gluten free cookies and I know he liked them, he was even good about my "pretty much failed" attempt at gluten-free cinnamon rolls.

The right man will do everything he can to keep you safe. Maybe he just needs time.

Ursa Major Collaborator
Ursa Major
Posted

Elonwy, you need to talk to him about this. Because he might sense that you don't feel like touching and kissing him, and might think you don't really like him. He needs to understand that it's not really him, but rather your fear of being glutened that is the problem.

Once he understands how easy it is for you to get glutened, and that in the end he might have to make the choice of either his junkfood or you, hopefully he'll choose you and change his eating habits.

Did you tell him that you got glutened at his house? It might be a good idea. You also need to tell him that you aren't able to kiss him for fear of getting sick if he constantly eats gluteny things.

Guest cassidy
Guest cassidy
Posted

I think you need to sit down and tell him how you are feeling. He may not understand how sick you get or how careful he needs to be around your food. I was watching everyone eat Thanksgiving yesterday and it is surprising how they touch rolls and double dip into things without even thinking about it. If they knew that I was sitting there thinking their roll looked like rat poison and just being grossed out about all that gluten I bet they would think I was crazy.

Some men are not as compassionate as other people and even if you explain everything and they really care about you, they still may not remember to be careful. It took my husband a long time to come as far as he has and I still bet you he would let me have a bite of his spaghetti or pizza without thinking twice.

If you have a talk with him and he doesn't get better then it is a choice of whether you want to be with someone who doesn't go out of his way to make sure you don't get sick.

Glad you are getting your own apartment, that should make things easier.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Guest nini
Guest nini
Posted

I know how you feel and I'm married to my gluteneater! LOL!

My own stepfather acted like my mom just grew two heads yesterday when she reminded him to cut his gluten bread and his gluten filled deep fried turkey well away from the gluten free zone!

Guys just don't think about this stuff unless they have to. Mine tries, he really does, but I absolutely CRINGE when I watch him make a sandwich and after he's handled his bread he's got his mitts all over the cheese and lunchmeat and everything else... He at least thinks ahead about the mayonnaise and takes a larger scoop than he will need so that he doesn't have to double dip. I will only eat the cheese or lunchmeat if I have the individually wrapped slices, or if I get to open the package first, after the package is open, if he's made a sandwich, I won't eat it... I do cringe and recoil when I watch him eat his gluteny snacks and pizzas (OMG THE PIZZA CRUMBS GO EVERYWHERE!) And he won't try to kiss me until he's rinsed his mouth out with mouthwash and brushed his teeth...

It will be good for you to be in your own place, and only you can decide if you can live with it or not... but def. talk to him and let him know it's the gluten you are afraid of and not him. I still have to reassure mine of that one sometimes...

heathen Apprentice
heathen
Posted

i, too, date a full-time gluten eater, and although we don't live together, I have my own cabinet in his kitchen, and he has "acquired" some new cookware since i was diagnosed. yeah, it's hard when he's diving elbow deep into a large cheesy pizza, but i am determined not to guilt him into gluten free--and it works! he tries everything i make and usually likes it, he's concerned about cross-contamination issues when he cooks, he asks me where i can eat when we go out, he freaks out with me when i go to the grocery store and can't find food at reasonable prices... generally a good guy. in the beginning, we had a talk about what celiac is, what gluten is, and why some issues (like cross contamination) are so important--and that was the end of it. oh, and we talked about why beer kisses are not a good thing when i finally shook off the glutening.

aikiducky Apprentice
aikiducky
Posted

I took my husband some time in the beginning to start remembering to be careful. What really helped was that he saw me get thoroughly glutened a couple times in the beginning, and I didn't hide how awful and sick I felt. If you get glutened by someone, don't try to be discreet about it. :D:P

Pauliina

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,540
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Nina J
    Newest Member
    Nina J
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @Scatterbrain, Thiamine Vitamin B1 and amino acid Taurine work together.  Our bodies can make Taurine from meats consumed.  Our bodies cannot make Thiamine and must consume thiamine from food.  Meat is the best source of B vitamins like Thiamine.   Vegetarians may not make sufficient taurine since they don't eat meat sources of taurine.  Seaweed is the best vegetarian source of taurine. Vegetarians may not consume sufficient Thiamine since few veggies are good sources.  Whole grains, legumes, and nuts and seeds contain thiamine.  Many of these sources can be hard to digest and absorb for people with Celiac disease.   You may find taking the forms of thiamine called Benfotiamine or TTFD (tetrahydrofurfuryl disulfide) and a B Complex will give the benefits you're looking for better than taurine alone.  
    • knitty kitty
      My only proof

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @Jmartes71, I went to Doterra's site and had a look around.  The Doterra TerraZyme supplement really jumped out at me.  Since we, as Celiacs, often have digestive problems, I looked at the ingredients.  The majority of the enzymes in this supplement are made using black mold, Aspergillus!  Other enzymes are made by yeast Saccharomyces!  Considering the fact that Celiac often have permeable intestines (leaky gut syndrome), I would be very hesitant to take a product like this.  Although there may not be live black mold or yeast in the product, the enzymes may still cause an immune system response which would definitely cause inflammation throughout the body.   Skin, eyes, and intestines are all made from the same basic type of cells.  Your skin on the outside and eyes can reflect how irritated the intestines are on the inside.  Our skin, eyes, and intestines all need the same vitamins and nutrients to be healthy:  Vitamin A, Niacin B3 and Tryptophan, Riboflavin B2, Biotin B7, Vitamin C, and Omega Threes.  Remember that the eight B vitamins work together.  Just taking high doses of just one, vitamin like B12, can cause a deficiency in the others.  Taking high doses of B12 can mask a Folate B9 deficiency.  If you take B12, please take a B Complex, too.  Thiamine B1 can be taken in high doses safely without toxicity.  Thiamine is needed by itself to produce energy so every cell in the body can function, but Thiamine also works with the other B vitamins to make life sustaining enzymes and digestive enzymes.  Deficiencies in either Niacin, Vitamin C, or Thiamine can cause digestive problems resulting in Pellagra, Scurvy, and Gastrointestinal Beriberi.   If you change your diet, you will change your intestinal microbiome.  Following the Autoimmune Protocol Diet, a Paleo diet, will starve out SIBO bacteria.  Thiamine keeps bacteria in check so they don't get out of control as in SIBO.  Thiamine also keeps MOLDS and Yeasts from overgrowth.   Menopause symptoms and menstrual irregularities are symptomatic of low Vitamin D.   Doctors are not as knowledgeable about malnutrition as we need them to be.  A nutritionist or dietician would be more helpful.   Take control of your diet and nutrition.  Quit looking for a pill that's going to make you feel better overnight.  The Celiac journey is a marathon, not a sprint.   "Let food be your medicine, and let medicine be your food."
    • RUKen
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By RUKen · Posted

      The Lindt (Lindor) dairy-free oat milk truffles are definitely gluten-free, and (last time I checked) so are the white chocolate truffles and the mint chocolate truffles. 
    • lmemsm
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By lmemsm · Posted

      I've used magnesium taurinate and magnesium taurate vitamins.  Didn't notice much of a difference when I used them.
    • Scatterbrain
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By Scatterbrain · Posted

      Anyone experimented with Taurine supplementation either via electrolyte powders or otherwise? Thanks
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.