Am I Being Unreasonable, Or Is He?

[sunshinen]

He threw a fit and said there was no way we were going to lock the "baby" up in a "cage" (referring to our laundry room which is NOT super small) and that I just needed to get over it. I asked him how he'd feel if I woke him up every time she woke me up... and he said that was "cruel" (I know - that's the point I was trying to make!).

Talk about a double standard! He's fine as long as neither you or the cat are waking him up. I'm a huge animal lover, and my pets always slept with me, but if the three of you can't all get the sleep you need, something's gotta give. I vote for waking him up every time the cat wakes you up. Let him see what you are going through. Essentially, his rules are keeping you awake, and he needs to understand what he's putting you through before he can tell you to get over it.

[Viola 1]

Isn't it funny how we get so attached to our animals that they can fully run our households, or at least parts of our households Stranger yet, we wouldn't allow our children to do these things and get away with it.

Perhaps because we need to teach our children how to live and behave out in the "real" world.

My eldest daughter once told me that the dog was spoiled worse than they were, I told her that I didn't have to worry about the dog being rude, or obnoxtious when she was out in public on her own. Of course she is never out on her own, and there are things that I would never tollerate with her either, but Tam is right, she is spoiled.

[sunshinen]

I'm not giving this whole "process" more than 2 months. IMO, if she can't learn by then, she's not going to learn. The whole situation just makes me very angry because he has chosen her over me. But, I really didn't give spraying her a reasonable amount of time to work. I am, however, going to make sure that most nights I turn the light on when I sit up to spray her... that will definitely wake him up and as irritated as he'll get, I'm hoping he'll see how frustrating it is to be woken up at night.

We were writing at the same time, so I wanted to add, Good for you! Make sure you are consistent. Cat's are intelligent, and chances are if you are not consistent, she'll learn you aren't serious. Maybe he should be involved in the discipline, too. Otherwise it's like a kid who has learned to pit her parents against each other. If it's his baby, she probably knows she doesn't have to obey you, and he should be involved in teaching her how to behave.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

As wrong as I think my husband is, he honestly feels that it would be cruel to put our cat in the laundry room at night.

I'm not giving this whole "process" more than 2 months. IMO, if she can't learn by then, she's not going to learn.

I wouldn't put my cats--or kids, for that matter--in the laundry room for the night, either! But maybe your laundry room is nicer than mine. At any rate, I think the spraying in the face is not inhumane , is perfectly appropriate, and much nicer than keeping her in the laundry room.

It sounds like you have come to a very intelligent and well-thought-out plan. And if she's already slept through one night without meowing, and you stopped her last night after only one meow, you are well on your way to teaching an old cat new tricks!

[Nancym]

As wrong as I think my husband is, he honestly feels that it would be cruel to put our cat in the laundry room at night. Granted, she's a very emotionally needy cat and would probably freak out. There's no way to know how long it would take for her to get used to the laundry room. And Matt refuses to see that as an option, which makes my blood boil.

I'm not sure I understand this. Why not just put the cat outside your room and close the door? Why do you need to keep her in the laundry room?

[brendygirl]

Well HELLO! She's up! Why aren't you???

This reminds me of a story. One of my brothers was visiting one of my other brothers. The local brother had a cat that kept the visiting brother and his wife awake all night long. So all the next day, whenever the cat tried to sleep, the visiting brother woke her up. At the end of the day everyone was tired and grouchy, and the cat didn't keep anyone awake for the rest of the visit.

Funny! This is the same situation that happens in a storybook I read to my class. It's an OLD, worn book that I got from a discard pile, but it's awesome! It's about the Baybeebibi Bird. It moves to a zoo at night and sings beebibobbee all night long because it's nocturnal and the other animals get mad that they can't sleep. So when the sun comes up and the Baybeebibi bird begins to doze, the lion roars and each of the other animals wake up the bird until he learns a lesson.

[emcmaster]

I'm not sure I understand this. Why not just put the cat outside your room and close the door? Why do you need to keep her in the laundry room?

Because she would meow very loudly and scratch the door and the carpet all night long. She's not a pleasant cat when she doesn't get her way.

[emcmaster]

Thought I would give you a report of how well it's going since it's been a little more than a week since we first implemented the squirting..

She meowed last Saturday night, so I bolted out of bed, found her in the bathroom, held her down and squirted her three times at point blank range in the face. She seemed to get the picture.

No more meowing all week long until early Saturday morning. I heard her meow and found her under the bed, so I squirted her several times. Again, seemed to do the trick.

She meowed this morning when I got up (at 10), but Matt was still sleeping and it woke him up (not sure how, as he's usually a deep sleeper). She got another squirt.

In all, we're not there yet but I'm pretty pleased at how well this has worked. Unfortunately, she seems to be rather scared of us during the day time, but I think once she stops meowing completely (I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one), we won't have to squirt her and she won't be as afraid. Then again, maybe her being a little afraid is what is keeping her from starting meowing every night again...

Thanks for the support!

[Nancym]

Because she would meow very loudly and scratch the door and the carpet all night long. She's not a pleasant cat when she doesn't get her way.

That's why I posted the vacuum cleaner trick for you! Trust me, this is an easy problem to deal with.

[emcmaster]

That's why I posted the vacuum cleaner trick for you! Trust me, this is an easy problem to deal with.

I appreciate your posting that trick - if the squirting method doesn't work long-term, that's something we will try next. The reason we didn't try it first is that Matt really likes her sleeping with us.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I'm not sure I understand this. Why not just put the cat outside your room and close the door? Why do you need to keep her in the laundry room?

All the cats I've ever had are quite capable of scratching at the door, yowling, or even throwing themselves at the door--all guaranteed to wake up anyone inside!

[Nancym]

All the cats I've ever had are quite capable of scratching at the door, yowling, or even throwing themselves at the door--all guaranteed to wake up anyone inside!

Yes, yes, been there. Solved that. Go back in the thread and look for the vacuum cleaner posting. My thanks to the old Usenet news group, rec.pets.cats for that one.

I had a cat that squirting didn't phase one bit and they associate the bottle and water with you, so it makes them afraid of you. I'm such a push over that I really didn't like using spray bottles on my cats. And it didn't really work all that well. But Mr. Growly (the vacuum) waking up, I don't think the cats associate it with a human, that's just some mean old thing that comes to life every now and then.

Nowadays I keep a handheld vacuum near the bedroom door when my pud forgets the rules, which isn't too often. He even hates that little one. It seems like the conditioning is usually good for a few months at a time.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Yes, yes, but you have to be willing to wake up to use the vacuum cleaner in the first place!

Now--if we coudl just train the cats to do the vacuuming, everyone would be happy!