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Crappy Time Rant

bklynceliac

By bklynceliac
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

bklynceliac Apprentice
bklynceliac
Posted

Hey all,

had a crummy night last night and just wanted to share it with people who know the drill, thanks for listening.

After my fourth or fifth trip home to my parent's house since being gluten-free, I have realized that basically I can't go there without getting sick. There are just too many variables: non-safe cookware, unclean surfaces, well-intentioned mom who just doesn't get how to cook safely, pressure to eat out. Each time I arrive feeling fine and leave being a little off and knowing that in a day or two I'm gonna be fully sick. Well of course that happened again over christmas, which wouldn't have been a huge deal except my roomate and I host a big new year's party at our apartment every year. I almost called it off this year because of being sick, but had been doing well when we sent out the invites and thought it wouldn't be a problem. I'm usually ok with parties because I don't drink, bring my own snacks, and just leave if I'm not feeling tip top. But, because this was at my house, I didn't really have that option. And sure enough, the mysterious glutening that I got when I was with my parents kicked in full force on Decemeber 30th. So I knew I was pretty much screwed. I tried to make the best of it, but having 50 people in your house when you're shot-gunning pepto and immodium just to keep yourself out of the bathroom really sucks. I think combining the sickness with the anxiety of the party really pushed me over. Once the Immodium kicked in I was ok, but that was after about 6 pepto chewables, which is about 3 times what I usually need to be righted. And for the first time I really felt left out from things I enjoy: liquor (I know I technically can drink, but I'm playing it extra safe), cookies, pita bread, pigs n blankets. To top it all off, a girl I am newly dating was there and I just wasn't in good enough form to fully enjoy the time with her. I've been sick since March, but this was the first night in a long time where I really felt like the illness was screwing up my life - and it pissed me off. I just hate not being able to say "well, I'll be better tomorrow" like most people who come down with something at a bad time. I might feel a little better, but I'll never really truly BE better again. I haven't let that get to me much, but last night it really kicked me in the balls. Among other places.

Anyway, I'm sure we've all had times like this, so thanks for listening to mine. Hope everyone else had a more succesful evening...

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Viola 1 Rookie
Viola 1
Posted

Boy, that's tough when you get sick over the holidays and you are the one hosting some of it. There's not much that you can do that will help, except of course the Immodium and Pepto. This disease is really hard on you young people that are still on the dating scene.

Perhaps you need to find a nice Celiac girl :rolleyes:

Hope you are feeling better soon and the rest of the year is healthy and gluten free!

bklynceliac Apprentice
bklynceliac
Posted
  • Author

thanks shirley. actually the new lady is gluten intorelant too, which was an amazing coincidence - but I think she's more of a "it makes me feel better when I do" rather than "if i don't i'll be unbearably sick for a week", which is me. But at least she understands the difficulties, so that helps.

mamaw Community Regular
mamaw
Posted

Sorry your holidays fell through. It is hard when family doesn't get this. You know ........they are supposed to be supportive & caring... some of my family is the same way, I know they are gluten intolerant but they won't listen....

I think you may have found your soul mate. It is so nice when someone understands...

I hope your feeling better & the rest of the year is a piece of cake....

good luck with the new romanace..

mamaw

Canadiangirl Apprentice
Canadiangirl
Posted

Hay!

I fully understand! My parents are the same way. They try, but just don't undertsand how sick I get. There was the time when my mom made me stir fry...assuring me that there was no gluten, that she made sure! I asked her all the ingredients and it did seem ok, 'wow mum! ' I thought ' thanks! ' but then after eating it, she asked if Soy Suace was ok as she has put some in for flavor, but just a bit! GAH! So i was sick:( Or this past christmas day, when I asked her if the pancakes that were set on the table for me were the gluten free ones. Her answer was yes, I TRIPLE checked with her, ate the pancakes, and then my dad came in with a very pale face and asked which pancakes I had eaten...the gluten free ones were on the stove. GAH! Again....Mom meant the best but totally doesnt get it, then for the next week I have to excuse myself from doing anything, boyfriend is annoyed, Im sad to miss out on fun stuff....ya. Going home SHOULD be a safe place, but not for some of us Celiacs I am afraid. I am getting to the point now where I think i am just going to have to explian that I cant eat any food prepared by them as its just to risky. Have you tried printing out any info. for them? I put together a package of Celiac info. a while ago with info on what Ceiac is, what happens if I eat gluten etc. Then a list of OK foods and a list of Forbidden foods. It hasnt helped much with the safety of eating with family but it has helped with the constant questions. I just say go read the info.:)

I hope your feeling better soon! It is nice to have a place to vent though eh? I just discovered this site last week and it has already been a blessing!

Rest as much as you can! Celiac sux....hang in there.

Canadian Girl:)

bklynceliac Apprentice
bklynceliac
Posted
  • Author

yeah, it's almost harder because they're trying. If they were just being uncaring or unimpressed with the illness I could say "screw them", but it's more that they're just not grasping the severity and complexity of it. My mom asked if she bought a ham that wasn't gluten free if she could just boil off the gluten. Obviously preposterous to us, but I could see why in her mind that might make sense. This year the problem was chicken broth. I told her swanson's was ok, so she made a huge batch of chicken soup with it and she swore up and down that it was safe, then I discovered she used Swanson Organic, which she thought would be even healthier. Good intentions, and perhaps the right idea, but the Organic version has wheat in it. Very tricky, and I certainly forgive the mistake, but I get frustrated that wheat is clearly listed in the ingredients and she didn't think to check. Ugh. And she won't just let me eat rice and veggies every night because that's not home cooked enough. I'm with you though, I think next time I just have to say "no eating out, I cook everything I eat".

Phyllis28 Apprentice
Phyllis28
Posted

I hope you are feeling better. Relatives, even though they do their best to accommodate a gluten free diet, don

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zansu Rookie
zansu
Posted

My mom is cool. She checked everything and fed me safely (she cooks a lot of whole foods anyway). But I still brought my own snacks, cereal, and such.

When I went to visit the SIL (Italian), I went to the store and got frozen Amy's and ate that at the table with everyone else while they ate whatever. They may think I was weird, but I stayed healthy. One night they went to the trouble to buy gluten-free pasta, so I boiled separate water, etc, and that night I got sick. Probably CC, it wasn't a full glutening. So, If I'm in SIL's house, it's frozen dinners for me!

Kristen2Denise Apprentice
Kristen2Denise
Posted

People can be sooooo frustrating. I had a wicked annoying time the past week - I was visiting my mom and stepfather with lots of relatives and of course, as usual, I was sick the whole time I was there -despite my mom's best efforts. The more annoying part was that my stepfamily really doesn't understand that this is an illness and they think I'm being difficult. My stepdad was like just take the bun off the burger and when I said no way he acted like I was being a princess! I wanted to scream at many people over the week....its nice and healthy to be home! Sorry to add my own rant! :rolleyes:

casnco Enthusiast
casnco
Posted
Hey all,

had a crummy night last night and just wanted to share it with people who know the drill, thanks for listening.

After my fourth or fifth trip home to my parent's house since being gluten-free, I have realized that basically I can't go there without getting sick. There are just too many variables: non-safe cookware, unclean surfaces, well-intentioned mom who just doesn't get how to cook safely, pressure to eat out. Each time I arrive feeling fine and leave being a little off and knowing that in a day or two I'm gonna be fully sick. Well of course that happened again over christmas, which wouldn't have been a huge deal except my roomate and I host a big new year's party at our apartment every year. I almost called it off this year because of being sick, but had been doing well when we sent out the invites and thought it wouldn't be a problem. I'm usually ok with parties because I don't drink, bring my own snacks, and just leave if I'm not feeling tip top. But, because this was at my house, I didn't really have that option. And sure enough, the mysterious glutening that I got when I was with my parents kicked in full force on Decemeber 30th. So I knew I was pretty much screwed. I tried to make the best of it, but having 50 people in your house when you're shot-gunning pepto and immodium just to keep yourself out of the bathroom really sucks. I think combining the sickness with the anxiety of the party really pushed me over. Once the Immodium kicked in I was ok, but that was after about 6 pepto chewables, which is about 3 times what I usually need to be righted. And for the first time I really felt left out from things I enjoy: liquor (I know I technically can drink, but I'm playing it extra safe), cookies, pita bread, pigs n blankets. To top it all off, a girl I am newly dating was there and I just wasn't in good enough form to fully enjoy the time with her. I've been sick since March, but this was the first night in a long time where I really felt like the illness was screwing up my life - and it pissed me off. I just hate not being able to say "well, I'll be better tomorrow" like most people who come down with something at a bad time. I might feel a little better, but I'll never really truly BE better again. I haven't let that get to me much, but last night it really kicked me in the balls. Among other places.

Anyway, I'm sure we've all had times like this, so thanks for listening to mine. Hope everyone else had a more succesful evening...

Sorry to hear your holiday was messed up. This is the worst hoiday for getting glutened with all of the cakes, cookies and treats!

This year everyone was accomodateing. Unseasoned meat and potatoes and vegtable for the dinner. I made dessert in my home and took it to parents. I thought I was safe. However, it happened. Glutened. Maybe the surfaces of the cookware. Sister in Law was a gem about wipeing surfaces down with Clorox towels. I think maybe just kissing and loving on my niece and nephews. I am not going to stop doing that so I am going to try to be as healthy as I can before I see them and know I will be on a liquid diet for a while after I see them. I will be more careful with them but an Aunt needs kisses and hugs from the kids.

emcmaster Collaborator
emcmaster
Posted

Hey there! I'm really sorry to hear that you had a rough time with the NY's party. I had the same problem - got really really sick over Christmas and still was feeling sick when our NY's party rolled around. We actually called the people we invited on sunday morning to tell them that I was feeling sick so we were just going to have them over for dinner and then if I was not feeling good, we'd go to bed and they could do what they wanted to. It ended up working out well - we had already made most of the food when I started feeling a lot sicker, so we decided to have people over for dinner anyway and then they left.

Hope things are better this year!

NoGluGirl Contributor
NoGluGirl
Posted
Hey all,

had a crummy night last night and just wanted to share it with people who know the drill, thanks for listening.

After my fourth or fifth trip home to my parent's house since being gluten-free, I have realized that basically I can't go there without getting sick. There are just too many variables: non-safe cookware, unclean surfaces, well-intentioned mom who just doesn't get how to cook safely, pressure to eat out. Each time I arrive feeling fine and leave being a little off and knowing that in a day or two I'm gonna be fully sick. Well of course that happened again over christmas, which wouldn't have been a huge deal except my roomate and I host a big new year's party at our apartment every year. I almost called it off this year because of being sick, but had been doing well when we sent out the invites and thought it wouldn't be a problem. I'm usually ok with parties because I don't drink, bring my own snacks, and just leave if I'm not feeling tip top. But, because this was at my house, I didn't really have that option. And sure enough, the mysterious glutening that I got when I was with my parents kicked in full force on Decemeber 30th. So I knew I was pretty much screwed. I tried to make the best of it, but having 50 people in your house when you're shot-gunning pepto and immodium just to keep yourself out of the bathroom really sucks. I think combining the sickness with the anxiety of the party really pushed me over. Once the Immodium kicked in I was ok, but that was after about 6 pepto chewables, which is about 3 times what I usually need to be righted. And for the first time I really felt left out from things I enjoy: liquor (I know I technically can drink, but I'm playing it extra safe), cookies, pita bread, pigs n blankets. To top it all off, a girl I am newly dating was there and I just wasn't in good enough form to fully enjoy the time with her. I've been sick since March, but this was the first night in a long time where I really felt like the illness was screwing up my life - and it pissed me off. I just hate not being able to say "well, I'll be better tomorrow" like most people who come down with something at a bad time. I might feel a little better, but I'll never really truly BE better again. I haven't let that get to me much, but last night it really kicked me in the balls. Among other places.

Anyway, I'm sure we've all had times like this, so thanks for listening to mine. Hope everyone else had a more succesful evening...

Dear bklynceliac,

I know what you mean. I am 24 and feel like I have to live in a bubble to really be safe from gluten. It is everywhere! My mother is not understanding about it at all. She treats me like a hypochondriac. Dating is so not an option, either. What guy would want to date me? I cannot go out to eat anywhere! On the bright side, I am a cheap date. ;) It is so difficult living like this. Despite the fact testing did not show elevated antigliadin levels several years ago, I am still wondering if I am a Celiac. This is due to going on the gluten-free diet and feeling better. I tried digestive enzymes and they did not do anything. If it was just an intolerance, wouldn't that have helped? Anyway, the dating thing is impossible. You usually kiss the person goodnight. The problem is, if they ate gluten...well you know. So, what is a person to do? Don't worry about the rant. You need to let off some steam sometimes. If not, you will eventually explode. The people on this forum have been great! They really help when you need to vent and no one else understands. On New Year's I stayed home and watched Law & Order SVU. That was good enough for me!

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

Oh, man, that really stinks. Sorry you get sick every time you go home. I'm not sure how far it is for you, but could you just visit for a day and bring your own food? Or stay in a hotel and make your own food there? Or invite your parents to visit you in your gluten-free kitchen instead? If it makes you feel any better, I manage to get sick every time I visit my parents, too, and my mum is gluten-free and the whole house is 909.9% gluten-free (dad is still allowed gluten cookies and crackers on occasion).

NoGluGirl - I think of celiac as an excellent way to screen potential boyfriends. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't care enough about me and my health to deal with the gluten issue and this way I can find out what type of person they are right away!

Canadiangirl Apprentice
Canadiangirl
Posted

Hay No Glu Girl,

Dont loose hope! I have an incredible boyfriend and he is not Celiac. We have days when he is very stretched with me when I have been glutened and am down. We have had to work through a lot of negative stuff with me being sick and down or missng out on things.... but he is very good at trying his best to accomodate and care about me glutened or not( the not times are much happeir). I figure, as a celiac...we are like this, we have celiac. If you had cancer or diabetes you would just take it one day at a time and live life to the fullest possible. If someone cant recognize who you are and only see the inconvenience of being celiac then they are not worth your love:) I bet you are lots of fun!!! Just be real and honest and dont apologize for a condition that you cannot control( in the sense of having a disease.) Some people are not very understanding, but a lot are. Celiac can be so lonley though...i get that:)

Are there any Celiac Singles Sites? ( cheezy maybe:) but would be cool to conect with someone who walks with this too?).

Canadian girl

NoGluGirl Contributor
NoGluGirl
Posted
Oh, man, that really stinks. Sorry you get sick every time you go home. I'm not sure how far it is for you, but could you just visit for a day and bring your own food? Or stay in a hotel and make your own food there? Or invite your parents to visit you in your gluten-free kitchen instead? If it makes you feel any better, I manage to get sick every time I visit my parents, too, and my mum is gluten-free and the whole house is 909.9% gluten-free (dad is still allowed gluten cookies and crackers on occasion).

NoGluGirl - I think of celiac as an excellent way to screen potential boyfriends. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't care enough about me and my health to deal with the gluten issue and this way I can find out what type of person they are right away!

Dear kboyssni,

Maybe you are right. I am just kind of trying to deal with it on my own for now. It is frustrating. Having two parents that are not g.f. is hard enough. The idea of dating someone not like me is just as bad. Currently, with everything going on, I probably do not have time to date anyway!

I had a really bad experience with a guy I was friends with several years ago. It scared me to death.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

NoGluGirl Contributor
NoGluGirl
Posted
Hay No Glu Girl,

Dont loose hope! I have an incredible boyfriend and he is not Celiac. We have days when he is very stretched with me when I have been glutened and am down. We have had to work through a lot of negative stuff with me being sick and down or missng out on things.... but he is very good at trying his best to accomodate and care about me glutened or not( the not times are much happeir). I figure, as a celiac...we are like this, we have celiac. If you had cancer or diabetes you would just take it one day at a time and live life to the fullest possible. If someone cant recognize who you are and only see the inconvenience of being celiac then they are not worth your love:) I bet you are lots of fun!!! Just be real and honest and dont apologize for a condition that you cannot control( in the sense of having a disease.) Some people are not very understanding, but a lot are. Celiac can be so lonley though...i get that:)

Are there any Celiac Singles Sites? ( cheezy maybe:) but would be cool to conect with someone who walks with this too?).

Canadian girl

Dear Canadian Girl,

It is great you found someone so wonderful! Maybe I should move to Canada, LOL!

After what happened several years ago, it has been difficult for me to even think about being with a guy. You see, a guy I thought was my friend could have raped me. I got away, but do not know if I will ever stop looking over my shoulder. He is crazy. He even talked about wanting to do sexual things to the twelve-year-old across the street from his house! That is not normal. Even worse was I do not have money and could not press charges. As far as Celiac singles goes, who knows? It would not hurt to look it up. It would be nice to find someone of my own faith, too. That is tricky. Most people misunderstand my religion. I am just really leary about dating anyone I just met and getting in the car with them after nearly being raped by a guy I was friends with for three years. Once I learn self-defense, that may change.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

pixiegirl Enthusiast
pixiegirl
Posted

I use to answer these sorts of threads in a "just buck up" way and then stopped answering them at all because I knew I wasn't being helpful.

Now after 2 glutenings at my mom's house, (in a 2 week time frame) I can totally relate. I'm not sure what your parents issue is, certainly its a difficult diet to understand when it's YOU that has to be gluten-free and more difficult if your just learning the basics to make a meal for someone else. So maybe its just too much for them to take in... OR maybe it's like my mom , and its her form of passive aggressivness. But either way it makes life miserable, especially the days/weeks after glutening. I'm still in the recovery mode (mentally and physically).

I'm not sure we can "fix" this issue, I think we have to accept it and somehow work around it (I haven't figured out that part yet). I'm lucky in that my mom lives close by so I've decided that for the most part I'm going to host all the eating over here. And if she wants to treat she can take me out to dinner at one of the local restaurants that I eat at.

But in my book its funny that I can get a totally gluten-free meal that I don't react to at a restaurant but never at my own mothers house.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Susan

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