How Do You Do Restaurants Without Making A Fuss....

[kbabe1968]

Not a huge issue right now. NOT planning on going to any restaurants in the near future...but how do you navigate restaurants without being "high maintenance"? I don't want to be the one at the table that says "well, this is what I need, yada yada yada" and make everyone at the table feel uncomfortable. BUT I also don't want to "endanger" myself.

Suggestions, thanks....so that I'm not overwhelmed the first time we go out to eat.

THANKS!

[Electra]

Yah I need this info too and are McDonald's French Fries Glutan Free and safe? PLEASE SAY YES LOL!!

[marciab]

There is no way to avoid letting your server know that you are high maintenance, but I found it goes much smoother if I am polite and explain my dietary needs in simple terms. The people you eat with will look annoyed at first, but stand your ground. My family ending up helping me after they got the hang of it.

I always ask the waitress/waiter if they have a gluten free menu. ( Because that would make my life so much easier ) But, if not I ask them if they know what gluten is .

If yes, then we are good, if not then I have to tell her briefly that I am on a special diet and need to make sure the food I eat does not have gluten (wheat, rye, barley or oats) in it.

Then I ask her/him to check with the chef just to be sure. I tell them I will have seizures if I eat gluten. I'm guessing this motivates them a bit.

You run a big risk of cross contamination eating out anywhere. But, since we have to do it sometimes, I find it is best to stick to the plain meats, roast beef, baked fish and baked potatoe (uncut).

Beware of dining with someone who is hypoglycemic. I got my head bit off from holding up this person's meal. I had to tell the waitress at Red Lobster to please bring this woman some GD biscuits NOW !!!!! We all laughed ...

Marcia

[dlp252]

I almost never go through any lengthy explanations. I look for a dish that looks to be basically gluten free...for example a ribeye steak with baked potato. Then when the server comes I ask the server to leave off any suspect side dishes and double check that the steak isn't marinated or seasoned with anything I can't have...I actually found out on my recent cruise that most of the steaks they serve are made with BUTTER. I can't do dairy, but it was a simple matter of asking them not to.

Then I ask if I can have fruit or steamed veggies in place of anything I had them leave off.

[Jestgar]

Just enjoy being high maintenance. I go out when I'm looking forward to being pampered and don't when I'm not in the mood to put up with it.

[CarlaB]

The only way to avoid being high maintenance at a restaurant is to go to one that has a gluten-free menu, and ask for the menu every time even if you know what you're going to order. There are two reasons for this: One is you want them to know there is a demand for gluten-free food. Two is you want them to be sure to take precautions against contamination in the kitchen. I always mention to the server that I am very sensitive.

Search the forum for McDonald fries .... there have been several threads on them. It's a LONG story.

[Viola 1]

First off, when you go to a new restaurant it is necessary to tell them what you need. And don't worry about your friends and relatives, they know that you need to stay healthy and will learn to actually help you. If they don't, then I would suggest finding friends that care about your health to go out with.

You need a restaurant card that spells it out in clear language to send back to the cook or chef. If you are in Canada, the Canadian Celiac Ass. has an excellent one. But you can also get them from various web sites. I have mine laminated to keep it clean and make sure it doesn't accidently get thrown in the garbage after the cook reads it.

If you know ahead of time that you are going to a certain place, drop in a day or so ahead and talk to them about what is necessary and explain the cross contamination issues. Don't go in at meal times as they will be too busy, so pick a quiet time. You'll be surprised how many places are already learning about gluten problems. If you can't drop in, then phone them...again at a quiet time.

Even when the restuarant knows about gluten issues, still send back your card as a reminder for them to be extra careful.

We eat out frequently and have trained a few places that we can go to without a worry, having said that, if you do get a bad time from the serving staff, then don't eat there ... get up and leave. If you think that it's embarrassing, just remember how embarrassing it will be to have to spend all your time in the bathroom. We went into at least two places with a party of six. And when we were told that they didn't have time for diets, we simply walked out leaving our coffee and juice on the table. As we were leaving we heard the next table tell the waitress that everyone had a right to a good safe breakfast and the next thing we knew they were coming out the door too None of them had a health problem, but was angry about how I was treated. We all ended up across the street and had a very good, safe breakfast. So, instead of loosing six customers that day, the place ended up loosing 11 customers. I don't know if they ever changed or not, we never went back.

We also hand out restaurant and hotel information about how it would benifit them to open their doors to Celiacs, or gluten and wheat allergys If you want the papers we take in to all the places we go to, then PM me with your email and I'll sent you a copy to print off. It's made a difference here.

As for McDonald's, there is great contraversary about eating there. It is safe in Canada to have their fries. It is virtually safe in the US as well, however many people avoid it because of possible cross contamination. You'll find many threads in this forum about the great debate. Basically it is up to the individual! I tend to eat them now and then when we are in Trail as it's difficult to find a cafe there to eat in. We just don't get there often enough to educate them. I've never had a problem with them, and it takes very little to get me going. So, you will have to make your own choices.

Hope this helps a bit.

[tarnalberry]

Well, I guess "a fuss" is relative. But, having talked to waitstaff from many places, if you are polite and descriptive about your needs, they won't see you as terribly high maintenance. High maintenance are the customers who demand instant service, regardless of how busy the place is. Or customers who argue about whether or not the food is cooked properly five times while contradicting themselves. Or customers who change their mind repeatedly *after* the cook is going on the order or it's been brought out.

Stating your needs, and being clear about it, so that you can address a *true need* isn't high maintenance. Really.

[Nancym]

I think you've just got to embrace your "high maintenance" status and realize you're worth it! I have girlfriends with no eating issues that are that way and they revel in it. They're just confident people who know what they want, and anyone who sees them should admire them for asking for exactly what they want. It's more in the way you do, rather than the fact you do it. For instance, if you're pleasant and polite but assertive versus demanding and agressive, I see no problem.

[kbabe1968]

I can honestly say, i do not ever see me "embracing" being high maintenance! LOL I HATE attention! Well, BAD attention! I like good attention just fine. I feel bad enough being alive sometimes, taking up room and space (that's meant to be tongue in cheek, not serious). I HATE putting others out. I KNOW I have a right to, it's just hard for me to do it!

The problem is I was a waitress for a while, and you can be sweet and smile and say no problem all you want, but in reality you walk away from the table rolling your eyes (and I know it wasn't just me!). LOL. I know its NOT funny, I laugh when I'm uncomfortable too.

I think I'll start by first finding restaurants in the area that claim to be 'safe' I have a couple actually. And then go from there.

THANKS for all the advice, filed in my memory bank for me to use if I decide to like being high maintenance!

[Jestgar]

THANKS for all the advice, filed in my memory bank for me to use if I decide to like being high maintenance!

At least try it a few times. You may find you like it!

[Rusla]

If it is a restaurant I have never been to or been very rarely too I ask to speak with the manager. I go through the everything has to be clean pan, utensils etc. If it is one I go to a lot they know the drill and what I can and cannot have. There is no way to be high maintenance and if they don't know what is in something I ask them to bring it out so I can read the ingredients for sauces they don't make themselves. We know what we are looking for but they don't. If it has hVP they would not know that or soya sauce has wheat or wheat glutens in it.

[tarnalberry]

To minimize "attention", you can talk to the manager in a more secluded location off by yourself - as has been mentioned - to find out what is gluten free. In order to stay safe, you NEED to make your needs clear, but you don't have to be loud or b%$@#y about it, of course. Everyone will find their own approach, but you may find that you can't try being invisible.

[olalisa]

Open Original Shared Link

This is a great article I found which was so helpful to me. So much good information, and you really need to listen to the part about how to take care of yourself when dining out. I'm in my 9th month gluten free and really struggled with not wanting to seem "pushy" or "high maintainence" in restaurants. After a couple of glutenings when eating out, I learned that it's necessary to be direct, but courteous. I always ask for a manager and address them in a way that says I know that they'll be helpful.

I'm rambling....Read the article. Hope it helps

[ana]

kbabe, i totaly understand where you're coming from. I was a waitress too and know any extra questions or demands are a pain as your'e trying to help 30 other people at the same time and then the cook is yeling at you to pick up your orders.

I feel as though, i'm going out in public, this isn't my house, i really can't expet things to be exactly how i want it, at all ever, I know i'm paying for it, but there's always that chance there's a mistake or someone doesn't understand.

I feel that's the chance you take with going out. If someone is so picky, like those people who send back something 5 times, I would stew and wonder "why do these people go out even, they are only setting themselves to be disappointed because no one can ever be fulfill their needs as they exactly wish." i wish they had stayed home. and i never want to be one of those people other people think that about.

[Lisa]

When you go to a restaurant, you need to do your homework before you go when you are able to do that. No one wants to be unfair to the staff or the kitchen crew and less the management.

We don't need to be cranky when we go to restaurants. We need to set good examples. Call ahead, take the the manager or the chief or take time to talk to them personally when it is not a busy time for the business.

We are the ones with issues. When we choose to eat out, you just cant expect every dinning facility to comply. This is just not reality.

Choose well and check ahead.

[olalisa]

When you go to a restaurant, you need to do your homework before you go when you are able to do that. No one wants to be unfair to the staff or the kitchen crew and less the management.

We don't need to be cranky when we go to restaurants. We need to set good examples. Call ahead, take the the manager or the chief or take time to talk to them personally when it is not a busy time for the business.

We are the ones with issues. When we choose to eat out, you just cant expect every dinning facility to comply. This is just not reality.

Choose well and check ahead.

Momma Goose is exactly right. I always try to call ahead (at a non-peak time) and speak with a manager or even better the chef. When you get the chef, they'll sometimes even help you plan a meal right then and there on the phone, and have the wait staff alert them when you arrive.

I also try to go at non-peak times when possible. I've worked as a waitress in the past and understand how difficult it is to run back and forth to "check on things" with the chef. So non-peak times are way better. Also, having the manager help out from the outset helps with that, so the wait staff can stay "out of the weeds"

Bon Apetit!

[sewfunky]

i'm still new to this, but i went to a party last weekend. for dinners out with a crowd, like last weekend, i went to the restaurant early and spoke with the manager who made menu recommendations. for dinner our with my bf, i don't care if i make a fuss. i can sometimes find dinner off the menu, but if i can't (since i'm a vegetarian also) then i'll talk with a manager or eat a baked potato and salad. making a fuss isn't a big deal, leaving a crappy tip is!

[wacky~jackie]

Yah I need this info too and are McDonald's French Fries Glutan Free and safe? PLEASE SAY YES LOL!!

I wouldn't eat the McDonald's french fries (or most of the items on their menu). Please check this link Open Original Shared Link . I was amazed at the things that contain gluten on their menu!

[artmeg55]

My opinion on dealing with eating gluten-free in a restaurant is that you need to be very specific without being nasty. Most people are quite willing to accommodate our needs if they understand what you want clearly. For instance, when you're out to breakfast and yes you want the hash browns but not the toast, if the dish shows up with toast, either they forgot or you didn't make yourself clear. I won't eat from a dish with toast crumbs.

If you're been up front and said that you have celiac disease not let them think you're on the Atkins diet, your meal can progress smoothly. Family and friends learn your eating habits quickly and are your best supporters. Mine often chime in while I'm ordering to be certain about "no croutons" for instance. If in doubt about a salad dressing, stick to olive oil. Becoming a regular at a "safe" place makes eating out very easy. If your hamburger arrives on roll even when you asked for it on a dish, don't just eat it to be nice. If they bring it back in 30 seconds, the chances are certain that they dumped it onto another dish. Gotta be specific as to why. I still get glutened once in awhile eating out, but not nearly as often after I learned to be my own advocate!

There are unavoidable times when eating out is a necessity, like vacation or travel. I think it's worth the trouble to learn how to navigate a restaurant. There is a book listing gluten-free restaurants by state that is helpful too. I'd say be smart.

ps. I never eat in fast food places, soda or bottled water only.

Not a huge issue right now. NOT planning on going to any restaurants in the near future...but how do you navigate restaurants without being "high maintenance"? I don't want to be the one at the table that says "well, this is what I need, yada yada yada" and make everyone at the table feel uncomfortable. BUT I also don't want to "endanger" myself.

Suggestions, thanks....so that I'm not overwhelmed the first time we go out to eat.

THANKS!