gluten-free 7th Graders 2day Trip To Boston. School May Not Let Me Chaperone!

[emtek5]

HI.

My daughter has recently started the gluten free diet. She is going on a trip to Boston with her school in May. I want to chaperone so I can make sure she gets what she needs and doesn't get sick. I called the school and talked to the Assistant principal who is in charge of the trip and explained the problem and told him my daughter needs me there as a chaperone. He would not guarantee that I would be picked. They do it by lottery. He said to put a note with my application explaining the situation and they would decide then. He said lots of kids have medical problems who might need their parent to chaperone. I understand this. I don't think he really understands the disease and how complicated eating out can be on the gluten free diet. I don't trust anyone taking care of her dietary needs. She doesn't yet know how to speak up for herself when it comes to this diet. I know how hard it is to talk to inexperienced wait staff and I'm an adult. Who's going to listen to a 12 year old.What if she gets sick? She's only 12 and doesn't know how to take care of herself away from home.They are having a buffet dinner/dance on the first night ( mostly pasta and bread). The next day they are completely on there own to find meals. According to the school nurse who goes on the trip this is usually a bagel shop. She really needs me there. Any advice on what to include in the letter to make them understand how important it is that I go with her? Thanks!

[emcmaster]

HI.

My daughter has recently started the gluten free diet. She is going on a trip to Boston with her school in May. I want to chaperone so I can make sure she gets what she needs and doesn't get sick. I called the school and talked to the Assistant principal who is in charge of the trip and explained the problem and told him my daughter needs me there as a chaperone. He would not guarantee that I would be picked. They do it by lottery. He said to put a note with my application explaining the situation and they would decide then. He said lots of kids have medical problems who might need their parent to chaperone. I understand this. I don't think he really understands the disease and how complicated eating out can be on the gluten free diet. I don't trust anyone taking care of her dietary needs. She doesn't yet know how to speak up for herself when it comes to this diet. I know how hard it is to talk to inexperienced wait staff and I'm an adult. Who's going to listen to a 12 year old.What if she gets sick? She's only 12 and doesn't know how to take care of herself away from home.They are having a buffet dinner/dance on the first night ( mostly pasta and bread). The next day they are completely on there own to find meals. According to the school nurse who goes on the trip this is usually a bagel shop. She really needs me there. Any advice on what to include in the letter to make them understand how important it is that I go with her? Thanks!

Is there any chance you can get a note from your doctor to include with your note?

My first thought would be to say that your kid couldn't go if you couldn't chaperone, but she'd probably hate that...

[elonwy]

Or have them make an exception, and let her take food with her. She may not like it as much, but if you've prepared everything ahead of time, and an adult is in charge of giving her her food, maybe that might work. I know they do that with medications, so make sure they understand that its just like medication. Probably difficult, but just an alternate thought.

Elonwy

[laurac]

HI.

My daughter has recently started the gluten free diet. She is going on a trip to Boston with her school in May. I want to chaperone so I can make sure she gets what she needs and doesn't get sick. I called the school and talked to the Assistant principal who is in charge of the trip and explained the problem and told him my daughter needs me there as a chaperone. He would not guarantee that I would be picked. They do it by lottery. He said to put a note with my application explaining the situation and they would decide then. He said lots of kids have medical problems who might need their parent to chaperone. I understand this. I don't think he really understands the disease and how complicated eating out can be on the gluten free diet. I don't trust anyone taking care of her dietary needs. She doesn't yet know how to speak up for herself when it comes to this diet. I know how hard it is to talk to inexperienced wait staff and I'm an adult. Who's going to listen to a 12 year old.What if she gets sick? She's only 12 and doesn't know how to take care of herself away from home.They are having a buffet dinner/dance on the first night ( mostly pasta and bread). The next day they are completely on there own to find meals. According to the school nurse who goes on the trip this is usually a bagel shop. She really needs me there. Any advice on what to include in the letter to make them understand how important it is that I go with her? Thanks!

I don't know what state you are in. We are in Mass. My son was diagnosed a few months ago and when I had my team meeting with the school I was told that no matter what I would be able to attend all field trips even if there was a lottery involved to go. I didn't even ask that question, they just told me. I don't know if this is some kind of law or just good practice on behalf of the school. I would check with the Americans with Disabilities act or the Dept of Ed. I also think you can have a 504 plan set up with that included and they have to comply.

Good Luck!!!

I would want to go as well. I so understand where you are coming from!!

Laura

[Izak's Mom]

Find out what her exact itinerary will be, and exactly where in Boston she'll be when it's time to go get meals. Then get online, do a little research and find out what restaurants/delis/stores are in the same area and find out what gluten-free meals/products they sell. You can then arm her and/or a chaperone with a list of 'safe' things to order at a few different places so she can still feel like an 'adult' but make safe choices that have been pre-approved by you.

[ryebaby0]

Well, there's no way she's going without you, and expecting her to manage food is not realistic, so their only choice is to take you too. You might offer to accompany her as an unofficial chaperone and pay your own costs. I too, have never had a problem; the schools have always picked the parents of kids by "Lottery" but somehow I (and a parent or college-age sib of a classmate with Down's) am always in the pile

Write the explanation, and see what happens. If they don't pick you, she can't go, and shame on them. But give them the chance to pick you, first.

[amybeth]

I teach 7th graders, and we had a student in the past with severe allergies. When fied trips came up, understandably her parents were concerned.

We weren't going on an over night trip, and the number of chaperones alloted accounted for each of the teachers on the team. We didn't have open slots, even, to lottery out.

However, mom asked us if she could travel behind us and join us in the theater, restaurant, etc.

In all honesty a couple of the teachers didn't "get it". I, of course, realized that this would put mom AND the student at ease.

Mom did exactly that. She came on each of our day trips, brought food for her daughter with her, paid her own way, and her daughter seemed relieved to have her there.

While I think there may have been a more delicate way for the asst. principal to address it, this may be your best option.

Another tact I would take is go through the school nurse, who is more likely to understand the symptms and cautions that must be taken in order to keep your daughter happy and healthy on an overnight trip.

The last thing a 7th grader wants is to stand out and be "different". Have you asked your daughter which option seems best and most fitting to her?

Good luck!!!!!!!!!

I think the suggestion, above, to attach a doctors note would be great!

It may also be helpful to include information about the long term effects, etc.

Please let us know what happens!

[kirbymom]

First, how is your daughter doing on the diet and is she intolerant or does gluten cause anaphylaxis? Does she see the results - feeling better, no diarhea, etc, decreased stomach pain, etc.? If she were glutened and ended up ill on the trip, it might not be a whole lot of fun. It's a bit less embarassing to eat different food than to need to be in the washroom all of the time (assuming she has classical symptoms - my family is a mix of classical and non-classical).

Second, researching the restaurants and such ahead of time and arming your daughter with a list of food that is okay seems like a great idea!

Third, your daughter is learning right along with you about the gluten free diet. This may be a great experience for her to teach others about the diet (I have a suspician this will be invaluable to some as it is my belief, gluten intolerance is much more common than previously thought!) as well as learn the details that she needs to look into herself - this could be an awesome opportunity for you to teach your daughter as well. My daughter is 6 and we took her off gluten when she was 5. Early on we went visiting (and took our own gluten free cookies), she asked if she could have a cookie that the hostess was serving. We told her that it would likely make her sick, but it was her choice if she wanted to eat one. I believe in consequence based learning as long as the situation is not life threatening. Needless to say, twenty minutes later she was in the bathroom. Since that time she has refused cookies/crackers, etc. when out and checks in with me to see if things are okay. She also asks that teachers read labels now as a teacher acidentally glutened her with Smarties (in Canada they have wheat starch) early on. I would expect it would actually be easier to do this with your daughter as my child is only starting to read now. She is however very aware of her dietary needs.

What would I do in your situation? I would hope that I would be picked in the lottery, but if not I would have a plan of action in place. Since you have three months, this is certainy doable. I would

1) take my daughter shopping with me and teach her to read labels

2) get some gluten-free "treats" and staples to take on the trip (gluten-free cookies/muffins/rice cakes/rice crackers/fruit, etc)- okay it with the school - I have pretty good recipes that I have tried and there are others here and other places as well - feel free to PM me

3) meet with teacher and possibly someone else that is going and go over concerns again as well as provide them with a list of okay foods or foods to check (e.g check soy sauce, no malt, etc.)- maybe provide a couple of short general articles (Canadian Living published one last spring and others may be out there) for the teacher to read

4) get itinerary and call restaurants - you will be surprised, but some are understanding and do accomodate - if pizza is being served, maybe you can send a gluten free shell that could have toppings added and cooked on a stone covered with foil, if pasta ask if they serve rice pasta or vermicilli and if they are cooked in designated pots i.e. no wheat, check out sauces. If the itinerary is not set, maybe the school could add a celiac friendly restaurant (see Open Original Shared Link.

5) take my daughter out for a couple of mom dates and have her choose while I advise

Fourth, I would try not to panic (easier said than done). If you are just learning the gluten-free lifestyle, I totally understand as I remember what I was (and still am somewhat) like - looks like we have to go off casein as well so this is starting over a bit for me. However, this is something that your daughter must get used to and you will not always be able to be there to look over her shoulder for whatever reason.

I hope this helps at least a little!

[gf4life]

My oldest was the first to go on an overnight trip with school, but fortunately he had 2 1/2 years of experience with eating gluten free before he went on a week-long (M-F) science camp with school in 6th grade. I was told by the school nurse when I met with her regarding his dietary issues and camp, that I could "shadow" him and go on the trip too. I didn't want to do that because I know it would embarrass him and he wouldn't enjoy camp that much. So the nurse got me the camp menu and the phone number for the kitchen staff. I contacted the head chef and we discussed the entire week's menu. Most of it he could not eat, but I was able to prepare him substitute meals and freeze most of them. I sent a duffel bag full of his food, labeled with the day and meal it was to be served and typed instructions for the kitchen staff. I got the nearly empty bag back, with only a few extra snacks left in it, and a post-it stuck to the instructions from the kitchen staff telling me Thank You for helping them to feed my son and that they thought I was a great mom. My son had a great time and has since gone to summer camp and is going to winter camp this weekend.

Now my younger son will be going to the same science camp next year and if the same kitchen staff is there I am sure they will remember me and my bag of food with instructions! And both boys will be going to summer camp together this year, so i will have to send a lot of food!