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How Do You Deal With Not Being "normal"

alamaz

By alamaz
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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alamaz Collaborator
alamaz
Posted

So, granted I haven't been dealing with this too long but the three weekends I have been dealing with celiac disease have STUNK. It used to be the only time we got to "eat out" and that included seeing friends and eating out. Now, I feel like a prisoner in my kitchen but I so badly want to just be normal and go out! I know that you can call ahead at the restaurant and so forth but where I live, going out to dinner on a Friday or Saturday is a zoo. The restaurants are always packed which gives it a greater chance of CC. I'm just so bummed and feeling bad for myself right now I had to say it to some one other than my husband who snuck out of the house last night to eat at my formerly favorite restaurant with a friend :(

Amy

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

That does kinds suck, but isn't it the company you are missing? Not the food?

Eat before you go and order something that couldn't possibly be cc'd (like fruit, or just drinks) and have fun with your friends. After you get better at dealing with the diet you can start dealing with restaurants during lunch or mid afternoon when they aren't so busy and figure out which ones are safe for you to eat at.

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

The grief definitely waxes and wanes because so much of our culture and social activities (as in many cultures) revolve around food. It IS hard but it does get better. A lot of times rather than go out we have people over and I cook which is fun.

Tthere are times when I get frustrated too- it's normal.

DebbieInCanada Rookie
DebbieInCanada
Posted

As with any significantly life changing event - you will have to create a new "normal" for yourself. Like Mntdog says - create a new tradition where you have friends over into your "safe" environment to entertain. When your friends (and you) become more aware of your safe food choices, they can start to bring things as well to take all of responsibility off of you. As you find out which friends truly understand your situation and make an effort to accommodate you, you will feel comfortable eating at their house as well. And gradually you will get the hang of ordering in restaurants, and you'll find out which ones are safe.

It takes time, and the first while can be quite a shock, as you find out your new boundaries. But the pay off in feeling better, now and long term, are worth the effort.

I hope your hubby gets on board - sneaking out to meet with a friend isn't very nice :angry: , and must make you feel abandoned.

Hang in there, it gets easier.

Debbie

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

After you're gluten-free for a time, you might feel more comfortable going to restaurants that have gluten-free menus -- PF Changs, Cheeseburger in Paradise, Carrabas, Maggianos (no menu, but accomodate gluten-free), Bonefish Grill, or Outback.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I know it is hard, it seems like the everyone is having fun but you, but there are ways to have fun. With some research you might find salads and other food options which are safe, you can eat beforehand, or get fruit.

Could you host a get together at your place and maybe have everyone bring their own food and that way you can eat your food right along with them in a safe enviroment. I understand where you are coming from, I used to lock myself in on the weekends, lately I get a salad and a drink. I still have my moments, they ususally happen at work because my coworkers eat lots of cakes and pizza but I am slowly coming around to that as well.

It will go a lot better. Look at it as a positive thing too, you may have been too sick to join them at one point. Or you guys can look into non-dining activities. I hope that helps a bit.

Slackermommy Rookie
Slackermommy
Posted

I know..it does feel completely overwhelming at first. Just take it one step at a time. There are some great resources here, you will find a way to do this and enjoy yourself again. The ideas already stated are pretty much what I would say too.

Good luck and know that you are not alone in your frustrations.

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happygirl Collaborator
happygirl
Posted

I cannot eat out because I am so sensitive to minute amounts of gluten, so I bring my food with me. A few weekends ago, hubby and I went to a sports bar, he ordered wings, and I ate my pizza, and we watched the game.

Creativity and changing routines is part of the Celiac game. Hang in there---we all understand. Hugs to you.

johnsoniu Apprentice
johnsoniu
Posted

It actually worked out pretty good for me. Every Thursday all the project managers at work go to lunch for a mid-week "meeting". Usually to Applebee's, bleech! This meeting usually just turns into a b**** fest by the young lady from accounting. I hated those meetings.

Alas, with Applebee's not having the greatest track record for catering to a gluten free requirement, I now get to politely decline attending :P

I haven't quite got around to mentioning to them that Outback, Texas Roadhouse, or Carraba's all would be good alternatives for me. They're all located in the same area B)

mamabear Explorer
mamabear
Posted

Another possibility for you might be to investigate a small,family owned Mexican restaurant. I found one and got to know the owner. He has been extremely careful to check ingredients and their recipes for me...even brought out the chips' box to show they were gluten-free after I was getting CC from somewhere!

Knowing how to say 100% corn, no wheat in Spanish has also been very helpful! :P

darlindeb25 Collaborator
darlindeb25
Posted

I never felt comfortable in restuarants anyways. There were always too many rules in my head and was too much work to be comfortable. I do not visit withmy friends for the food, I go for the talk and the togetherness. Food has never been an issue with me. It doesn't bother me to sit with friends while they eat and everything is fine as long as they can eat and be ok with me not eating.

We are not different from others. We look the same, we feel the same, we work, we play, we live!!! We have to eat differently, but we do not have 2 heads. It's no different then being diabetic or anything other disease. You learn to cope with the changes. Give it time.

alamaz Collaborator
alamaz
Posted
  • Author

Thanks every one for the kind words. When I start to think that this is a lifelong change is when I start throwing myself the pity party. I guess since I'm only mildly feeling better at this point, it's tempting to turn back to that delicious piece of coffee cake for breakfast but I know it takes time. I'm so not a patient person! Maybe this is a good thing to teach me some of that ;) I'm glad you guys are here to remind me that life isn't over, it's just a bump in the road.

Amy

Slackermommy Rookie
Slackermommy
Posted

If it's coffee cake you are missing..someone here has to have a good recipe for you...just post a request in the recipes section...

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