Need To Vent

[Crystalkd]

Sorry guys. I need to vent for a second. One of my best friends is getting married on Saturday. I'm maid of honor and let them know of the gluten-free diet as soon as I did. The reception is buffet and I can't seem to get them to understand that even though there will be grilled chicken and salad there that cc is just as bad. Plus there are two brunches and the rehersal dinner. The RD is at a chineiess buffet which REALLY concerns me!!! If I can get through this weekend with out getting sick it will be great. I didn't flip out like I would have. I'm getting better at dealing with peoples lack of understanding. It's still frustrating especially since I feel great today and don't want to be feeling like crap during my friends wedding. I can't bring my own food to the reception. (They have a rule against that.) It seems like now that I'm on the diet I have to eat more often and don't eat as much at one sitting so it's not like I can eat a big meal before every event this weekend. I'll figure it out but I needed to vent to people that unstand and maybe get some tips on how to make it through this weekend without getting sick.

[abigail]

thats what I just made a post about!

rules about no bringing food??????? what its that??

well make an exeption, WE HAVE SPECIAL NEEDS!!!!!!!!

this its not like a regular diet to loose weight!!!

it there a law that protect us an give us that "privilege"??

Abismart

[EBsMom]

I'll figure it out but I needed to vent to people that unstand and maybe get some tips on how to make it through this weekend without getting sick.

The first thing that popped into my mind is that you can only "manage" the weekend if you have your own food. Can you pack some goodies for yourself - bite sized ones, such as nuts, dried fruit, Lara Bars....whatever you like and can eat. If you can nosh as needed, then at least you can keep your energy level up, keep yourself from getting too hungry, and allow yourself to push the party food around on your plate (pretend to eat) if you don't feel absolutely safe eating what is offered. Regarding the reception - truly, I'd ignore their "rule" and at least have a few bite sized snacks in your purse. Not eating isn't an option, as you have to keep your energy up; depending totally on the food that they serve might not be an option either. You can't be a good maid of honor if you're sick, so I think you have to do whatever is necessary to keep yourself safe. Good luck!!!

Rho

[Crystalkd]

I'm trying to figure it out. I've got Coco loco bars,the enviro kids snack bars, and rice cakes. I was going to chop up some veggies and take them with me. I will most likely go to the store in the morning to get some other things. Any ideas? Are all nuts safe (Part of the problem is I'm still trying to figure out the diet too. My mom said that we should be the first to eat so I should be good. I might get her to bring some stuff in my nephews bag since she's going to be there too.

[Eriella]

Nuts.. as in just plain nuts... are fine. Some of the flavoring makes them iffy. I also normally get fruit leathers (they have them at Target with another name like dried fruit strips), dried fruit, and cheese sticks.

[Ellsabeta]

Sorry guys. I need to vent for a second. One of my best friends is getting married on Saturday. I'm maid of honor and let them know of the gluten-free diet as soon as I did. The reception is buffet and I can't seem to get them to understand that even though there will be grilled chicken and salad there that cc is just as bad. Plus there are two brunches and the rehersal dinner. The RD is at a chineiess buffet which REALLY concerns me!!! If I can get through this weekend with out getting sick it will be great. I didn't flip out like I would have. I'm getting better at dealing with peoples lack of understanding. It's still frustrating especially since I feel great today and don't want to be feeling like crap during my friends wedding. I can't bring my own food to the reception. (They have a rule against that.) It seems like now that I'm on the diet I have to eat more often and don't eat as much at one sitting so it's not like I can eat a big meal before every event this weekend. I'll figure it out but I needed to vent to people that unstand and maybe get some tips on how to make it through this weekend without getting sick.

Oh, gosh. Some people just don't understand and it's unfortunate. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

The "can't bring your own food" thing is ridiculous! Whenever I'm in a situation where I know I can't eat the food before me, I usually pack a little cooler and keep it in my car (although I'm guessing you might not have your car with you). Perhaps inbetween the wedding and the rehearsal you can sneak out? I know as the maid of honor, this could be really difficult (I've been there before), so the snacks in your purse might be the best bet. But seriously, what kind of a caterer would have that rule? I'm surprised they get business.

After the wedding, I would most definately have a talk, or write a stern letter to the business. Perhaps even drop their name on this board -- that might get them to rethink their policies.

Let us know how it goes.

[SunnyDyRain]

perhaps you can ask the caterer to fix you a plate of grilled chicken and what ever else is safe before letting the crowd loose on it? Have you talked to the caterer at all to see what they suggest? They are paying for you to eat, they have to at least TRY!

[Crystalkd]

It's along story and I'll explain more once everything is over. Some of the issue has to do with the short notice and the mother of the bride. I picked up a couple of little things this morning. I know my mom hassome gluten-free stuff at her house as well so I might get her to bring something or get her to carry a few things in her bag. Thank you guys for the support!!! It helps! It feels like I don't get much from anyone right now.

[Ursa Major]

One of my daughters got married almost two weeks ago (tomorrow it will be two weeks). The caterer made sure there was safe food for me, and I brought my own dessert and my own salad dressing. Two of my grandchildren ate my dessert too, as they are obviously gluten intolerant as well.

Unless they are prepared to make sure you are safe, they can't expect you to abide by their rules. If the bride has a problem with that, ask her if she would prefer you bringing your own food, or you vomiting on her dress, or rushing to the bathroom in the middle of the ceremony!

[Mango04]

I know it's annoying, and I've vented about similair situations, but here are my two cents (for whatever they're worth ):

When you say you can't get them to understand, do you mean you can't get the bride to understand, or you can't get the wedding caterer to understand?

I've been in multiple weddings, and it's really best to not ever ever ever say anything about your special dietary needs to the bride, or anyone in the bride's family responsible for throwing the wedding. They won't understand, and with everything else they have going on, they just don't have time to try and understand. It's hard enough for us to understand our own dietary needs, and I think life is just easier if we don't actually expect others to accomodate us. (It does suck sometimes, and sometimes we remain hungry while others are eating, but if you prepare ahead of time and have your own on hand, it's not that bad )

If you haven't already, it might be a good idea to contact the people responsible for preparing the food (contact the place where they're having the recpetion and the location of the rehersal dinner). If you explain the situation, the chefs involved should definitely be able to prepare you plain, safe chicken and vegetables. At the Chinese place, they should be able to prepare you plain chicken and steamed veggies w/out any sauce.

If you already did that and nobody can help you, or even if they can help you, you really should eat something before each event and have something edible in your purse at all times (no one has to know you have it ) Good luck. Hope it works out.

[tarnalberry]

if you have to sneak your own food into the wedding, do it. don't get caught, of course, but don't pass out from lack of food either. they've put you in a tough spot. it's quite possible that making something safe (including from CC) for you at this point isn't going to happen, but in that case, you've got to have your own food.

[Phyllis28]

I ignore the "No Food Rule" on a regular basis. I have also found that I need to deal with restaurants and caterers myself. Pull out the American Disabilities Act if you have to. Bringing your own food is a reasonable accomadation.

[Guest lizajane]

I don't think you should be rude about it and say you are going to vomit, or be sick all day, etc. I have been going thorugh this for 22 years--weddings, family dinners, funerals with meals, political events with black tie dinners, breakfasts with vice presidents of Hallmark, Heads of neurosurgery of hospitals in Kansas City, players for Chiefs, etc. Its O.K. to eat before the main event!! It's O.K. to bring your own food to snack on so your blood sugar level doesn't drop. It's O.K. to ask the chef or party planner to see if something could be fixed for you and perhaps set aside until your turn to be served. Nobody but the person that is with you needs to know what you are doing to protect yourself, and the person you are there to honor is none the wiser. Perhaps some day you will be able to tell them, but not with grandious intentions--just some insight for people to realize what we live with and will do for them for their special day!

THIS IS A HORRIBLE DISEASE TO LIVE WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, BUT IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER, SO TAKE EACH ONE OF THESE TIMES AS A MENTAL CHALLENGE TO FEEDING YOURSELF! Sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't!! My mother never understood my disease and always ordered pizza for dinner on the nights we drove all day to visit her! I used to get SO mad that she couldn't even remember that I couldn't have pizza--my favorite food!! Then the end of Feb, 2007, she had a major stroke and can't order me pizza, and she can't have it either. I sit with her while she tries to eat a bland diet, and regrete the anger that I had over an 84 yr old woman with 9 kids who couldn't remember that I couldn't eat pizza-was it all about me? Did my whole family have to forget having pizza because I couldn't? Is it true that what goes around comes around and that's why she is on her horrible diet?