The 'evil' Kid Next Door

[Ursa Major]

Boy, this kid is driving me out of my mind. My neighbour's little girl (four years old) is the most awful, obnoxious kid you'd ever want to meet.

She is a fat little thing (grossly overweight) and has the most evil temperament I've ever seen in a small child. This girl screams and cries and yells and bosses people around all day long! Every time I open my windows or go outside, there she is yelling and cursing and screaming. Mostly, I love all children. But it would be hard to like this one.

She is constantly demanding attention and things ABSOLUTELY have to go her way, or she'll have an all-out screaming temper tantrum (a million times a day). It is unbearable! I don't know how her parents can put up with it. It is not helpful that they also seem to cater to her every whim. The backyard looks like it is set up for an army of kids, with every toy/plaything any child would ever want (trampoline, swing set, large pool in the summer, several tricycles, several ride-in toy cars, picnic table, basketball net, t-ball set, balls, skipping ropes, and of course she owns a bike and everything else you could think of).

My guess is that this child is actually gluten or casein intolerant (or both) and needs to be on a gluten-free/casein free diet.

Unfortunately, those neighbours and I have nothing in common. We are friendly enough when meeting in the driveway or when we are both in the backyard (which doesn't happen very often, because I tend to avoid people I am not completely comfortable with). But we never talk about important things when we chat for a couple of minutes.

So, how would I be able to tell this woman that her kid's disgraceful behaviour might be due to food intolerances? She might, rightfully, say that it is none of my business (even though in a way it is, because the kid is driving me crazy).

I am glad I am going away for a week tomorrow and won't have to listen to that constant screaming and howling and their stupid little dog's barking day and night for a while!

[CarlaB]

I'd be more likely to blame it on the parents' lack of parenting than the child's possible food intolerances. She sounds like an undisciplined spoiled brat. There's really nothing you can do.

[Ursa Major]

I'd be more likely to blame it on the parents' lack of parenting than the child's possible food intolerances. She sounds like an undisciplined spoiled brat. There's really nothing you can do.

She has two older siblings who are also overweight (they are nice enough, though), as is her mother. Her baby brother seems like a nice little kid, too.

[CarlaB]

Well, some kids are nice despite their parents. You say that her parents cater to her every whim .... that is what makes me believe it's a lack of discipline .... but, maybe there is a medical problem they already know about. Some kids can have a lack of discipline and still turn out fine .... other kids can have discipline and still be brats (two of mine have been like that, grrrr, though the older has turned out to be a very good young man).

Unless you knew them better, I wouldn't say anything.

[Phyllis28]

It could be that the parenting methods that work with their other children are not the same ones needed for this child.

My son tested every rule and every limitation, almost always more than once. This included screaming temper tantrums to get what he wanted. I stood my ground and told him that whina-fusses did not get what they wanted. My husband usually gave in.

The result: I did not have to deal with nearly as many screaming temper tantrums as my husband.

Also, my son had trouble transitioning. A screaming tantrum (we called it a meltdown) would result if we did not tell him things like, bedtime is in 10 minutes. This was a parenting skill we had to learn.

I don't think you can do much about this.

[mommida]

You only have one neighbor brat? I'll trade houses with you in a heartbeat!

Apples don't fall far from trees, I'd leaf/leave this family alone. Plant a hedge if possible to buffer the noise, and as a bonus you don't have to see the neighbors and if the neighbors ever want to visit you they will have to walk around to the front of the house. (People usually behave better where more people can be watching.)

I am very sympathetic to your situation, but unfortunately I think I have much more to deal with from my hood. We have had the real estate agent over, but we would lose too much money selling at this time, and the market has been flooded with forclosures asking even less than the reduced property value, and houses have been on the market in the sub for over a year.

[Ursa Major]

You only have one neighbor brat? I'll trade houses with you in a heartbeat!

Apples don't fall far from trees, I'd leaf/leave this family alone. Plant a hedge if possible to buffer the noise, and as a bonus you don't have to see the neighbors and if the neighbors ever want to visit you they will have to walk around to the front of the house. (People usually behave better where more people can be watching.)

I am very sympathetic to your situation, but unfortunately I think I have much more to deal with from my hood. We have had the real estate agent over, but we would lose too much money selling at this time, and the market has been flooded with forclosures asking even less than the reduced property value, and houses have been on the market in the sub for over a year.

Actually, what baffles me is, that the parents are very nice, easygoing people. The only thing that bugs me about the parents is, that they will have loud parties on the weekends in the summer. But they are pleasant neighbours for the most part. If only they would do something about that awful child, and not let their horrible yappy dog out in the middle of the night, when I want to have my windows open!

[larry mac]

I'd be willing to bet that little dog is a Celiac, and probably mold intolerant also.

best regards, lm

[Ursa Major]

I'd be willing to bet that little dog is a Celiac, and probably mold intolerant also.

best regards, lm

Larry, you made me laugh, that is funny!

[Mom23boys]

I think you are on to something.

If my oldest goes "off diet" (gluten-free - cf - artificial flavor/color f), he turns into a monster. You wouldn't believe he is the same sweet kid that he is on diet. It has NOTHING to do with parenting style or lack of. Instead of having "traditional" symptoms the brain swells and puts pressure on mood centers of the brain creating all kinds of mood/speech/balance issues (Dr Doris Rapp). I have the issue myself and have been accused of being drunk after only having a piece of cheese (I have never been drunk a day in my life).

Now I don't know how to tell her w/o developing a relationship with her. I might make sure I was outside a little more and if she shows some frustration tell her about someone's kid who had these reactions. However she may or may not be open to "diet" changes.

[mandasmom]

Its amazing how a couple of unruly kids can really impact the quality of life for a whole neighborhood!! When we first moved to our neighborhood years ago I was so disappointed that there were so few kids...as the years unfolded i was delighted that our home become a safe place for our own kids to play inside or out without constant need to negotiate the behaviors of others. We were glad to drive them to the destination of their choice to play with the firends of their choice..worked just fine. I think this child has some big troubles...much more anti social than gluten intolerance would suggest. Enjoy your vacation and remind your own kids that they dont have to play with people they dont like. Have fun.

[fedora]

When dealing with others I find it best to just tell my story and really emphasize the parts that I am trying to get across. I don't want to offend anyone and say your kid is awful, I just talk about how gluten made me awful and I am much more pleasant with out it. With friends I can be direct.

Mom23boys,

I wouldn't get "drunk" I would get stoned. Not so pleasant when you didn't chose to be