Eat What?!

[FoxersArtist]

Ok, I have to admit it. I HATE fish. Deep fat fried and covered in so many additives that you can't even taste the fish is acceptable to my tastebuds but otherwise it's not even worth it. Lately I have been trying to talk myself into the idea of trying to get used to eating fish because eating too much rice makes me feel gross and one can only eat so much beef and chicken before it gets old.

I went to the store the other day and stopped at the seafood section. Oh look, there is some salmon that wont cost me my soul! But Anna, you hate salmon. But it won't cost me the same price as an auctioned cow. I should buy it, who cares if I don't like it. The husband will eat anything and that's pretty much all that matters.

What the?!

I picked up the cold shrink wrapped package that had cought my eye. I examined the package that contained pink hotdogs. No way! Salmon hotdogs? I'm sure Andy would eat....NO! What are you thinking?! Salmon is gross enough when it's shaped like a fish. I draw the line at putting a fish flavored weiner in my gut, besides this "food" costs the price of a whole auctioned cow, and maybe a goat too. Hmmm, I wonder what goat tastes like? Wait, don't they eat scrap metal? Focus Anna, pick a fish before that man at the deli asks if you need "help." Surely the answer will be yes since just seconds ago you were considering the purchase of highly processed pink poison.

I settled for a "section" of regular salmon, but was thoroughly disgusted when I realized that the fish was shimmering at me because it had not been skinned. Morbid facination. I paused for a moment before putting it into the cart, tilting the fish so that sparkled at me. Come on now...they don't sell chickens with their feathers still on for a reason, what makes fish any different? I almost put the nasty thing back.

I have been looking at that fish in the meat drawer for days and have had anxiety. You hate fish. Maybe it'll just sit in there and expire and then you won't have to eat it. But it was almost the cost of half a cow. You can't let it go to waste. Oh I know, I'll feed it to Gabe. He'll eat fish. He eats the Sashimi at Outback as if it were chocolate. We had to take it away from him the last time we went because we figured the fish would kill him if he ate it any faster.

When I was little my dad would go dove hunting and bring home these tiny little breasts to cook up. He would wrap them in bacon and peppers and put them inside individual tin foil baggies before baking them. Since that time I have tried to cook EVERY kind of meat like that, even a 15 lb turkey. Aren't you supposed to cook salmon in butter and lemon? I'm not good at this. I poked my head into the fridge. No lemon juice. Well butter then....but no, you've been making too many brownies and cookies. The butter is gone. Shoot.

I opened up a can of mandarin oranges and poured half a can into each tin foil baggy. I had cut the fish into pieces and realized that handling raw, oily fish is among one of my least favorite activities. I neatly placed them in the tin foil hoping never to see them again. I cut up some peppers and threw them on top of the fish. Then some lemon pepper seasoning since we were out of lemon juice.

20 minutes later I opened up a hot steaming package that smelled absolutely delightful. Where did that horrible smelly fish go and what was this? I hesitated but tasted my creation. Ohhh! It was as delightful as it smelled. Moist, warm, falling apart in my mouth. It didn't even taste fishy. I called up the hubby and in the midst of my excitement, forgot that he was probably busy saving the universe. I asked him if he could come home early to eat this amazing new creation. Alas it was a decision between a fish and the planet and he is a good man.

I'm so excited that I have found such a tasty meal to eat! I'm so excited to go back to the store for some more salmon. Though incase you are wondering, my transformation was not great enough to motivate me to eat fish dogs for dinner next week.

-Anna

[home-based-mom]

What a thoroughly great, entertaining story with a perfect ending!

You are a talented writer - explore that option when your kids are old enough that you have time to do so!

[Ridgewalker]

OMG, Anna, you had me in out-loud guffaws!!!!!!!!!!

And you sound so much like me, it's not even funny. Right now as I type, I have Tilapia in the freezer waiting for me to get brave. I've NEVER cooked fish before, and the only reason I bought this Tilapia is because it had no sign of scales or skin anywhere on it.

I'm going to try your foil method!!!

[Juliebove]

I don't think I could have eaten it. If there's anything I hate worse than fish, it's oranges. My parents went through a Weight Watcher's phase back in the 70's and we had more fish than I care to remember. The only fish I can manage to stomach is fish sticks, and only if served with mashed potatoes (too many carbs for me so I don't ever do this) or tuna.

[Puddy]

I hate fish, too! But I think it's a psychological thing. I remember Friday night dinners when I was little, listening to my Irish Catholic grandmother tell everyone to be careful they didn't swallow a bone. Since that day, I haven't been able to get anything fishy down my throat except for cannned tuna....LOL! But I might have to give that tin foil method a try. This story was too funny! I needed a laugh today. Thanks, Anna.

[RiceGuy]

What a great story!!

...but I still ain't gonna eat fish LOL!

[bakinghomesteader]

I LOVE fish! You should try talapia with magno salsa. It is soooo good and refreshing.

[AliB]

What a giggle!

Our local store often has fish on its reduced section and I do come home with pieces of salmon, mackerel, seafood. Usually its expensive but buying it reduced takes the edge off a bit.

Trouble is I had two nice bits of salmon the other day and decided to fry them.

Please, please don't ever fry it! It was horrible. I normally cook it under the grill for a few minutes and sometimes in the oven but have never fried it. Yuk!

The oil tasted rancid and the fish tasted acrid it just stunk the house up for days. Maybe the heat was too high or something. Goodness knows what I did wrong but I shan't cook it like that ever again.

The nicest thing I cooked recently was diced turkey fried with chopped onion and mushrooms and flavoured with paprika and coriander, added water and reduced then thickened with potato flour. Oh yum. And this week I discovered the best way to cook pork chops - after 32 years of marriage you'd think I'd got that down to a fine art, but they always are a marathon chew - to the point that I'd gone off them.

So I looked it up on the good old oracle and found Jamie Oliver's website forum and the secret is to sear them briefly on a high heat then reduce it and cook them for a few minutes both sides until they are just cooked. What a difference! I think I'll change my mind about not having chops any more. I suppose I was concerned about the undercooked pork thing and would just end up cooking them to within an inch of their life!

[jerseyangel]

Great story! You sound just like me with the fish I want to like it, but just don't think it's gonna happen!

[FoxersArtist]

I hated pork chops up until I moved out of my parents house for the same reason - and the sad thing was that my mother did sear them first. They were still too dry and chewy to stand. I found a supermarket that sells smoked pork chops, just season and heat in the oven. They are sooo moist and fall aparty. I'll never look at chops the same again.

-Anna

What a giggle!

Our local store often has fish on its reduced section and I do come home with pieces of salmon, mackerel, seafood. Usually its expensive but buying it reduced takes the edge off a bit.

Trouble is I had two nice bits of salmon the other day and decided to fry them.

Please, please don't ever fry it! It was horrible. I normally cook it under the grill for a few minutes and sometimes in the oven but have never fried it. Yuk!

The oil tasted rancid and the fish tasted acrid it just stunk the house up for days. Maybe the heat was too high or something. Goodness knows what I did wrong but I shan't cook it like that ever again.

The nicest thing I cooked recently was diced turkey fried with chopped onion and mushrooms and flavoured with paprika and coriander, added water and reduced then thickened with potato flour. Oh yum. And this week I discovered the best way to cook pork chops - after 32 years of marriage you'd think I'd got that down to a fine art, but they always are a marathon chew - to the point that I'd gone off them.

So I looked it up on the good old oracle and found Jamie Oliver's website forum and the secret is to sear them briefly on a high heat then reduce it and cook them for a few minutes both sides until they are just cooked. What a difference! I think I'll change my mind about not having chops any more. I suppose I was concerned about the undercooked pork thing and would just end up cooking them to within an inch of their life!

[Juliebove]

My mom used to kill pork chops. I remember her doing them in Shake and Bake but I'm not sure what she did to them before that. They were always dry and tough. I remember looking for a recipe for them when I was cooking for my MIL. I needed something that was quick to fix. Found an old recipe that said to season with salt and pepper and fry for 20 minutes, 10 on each side. I couldn't believe it was that easy! Served them with applesauce and everyone liked the meal.

My mom also used to make salmon patties. I do not know what she put in them and I don't wanna know. Oh how I hated that meal. I wonder if I would have hated it as badly if she had made tuna patties? Actually the only way I ever had salmon that I liked was an old recipe I got and for some reason saved from Home Ec class in Jr. High. I had pasted it into a notebook. Made it for a potluck at work some years ago. It was called South Seas Salmon sandwiches. Made those little finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off. I remember using canned salmon and crushed pineapple, but I can't remember what all else went into it. My intent was not to eat it, but to make something fancy for the rest of the people to eat. Got some of the filling on my finger and inadvertently licked it off. It tasted good! But I think it reminded me of tuna salad and I think that's why I liked it.

I wonder why it is so many people dislike fish? I thought in my case it was being born in Wichita. I don't think fresh fish was common there unless you caught it yourself. We just had canned salmon and tuna. And then we moved to the Seattle area where fish is all around. I don't think my mom fixed it at all aside from canned until they went on that Weight Watcher's diet. I think she only knew two ways to fix it. Poached in dill weed and water and poached in tomato juice. It was always white fish. Either way, yuck! I asked her recently about scallops after seeing them on a cooking show. She said she had cooked them for us on occasion but just told us it was white fish. She had a habit of doing that. Serving us one thing and telling us it was another. Why do moms do that? I wouldn't eat steak at home for years, after having been given a piece of liver and told it was steak. I remember taking such a huge bite because I loved steak.

I will never do that sort of thing to my daughter. I have not pushed her to try fish. She eats tuna and she eats Ian's fish sticks. She is good to try things, provided she has checked them first for allergens. Tonight she is eating some toasted corn bread from Ener-G. Odd because I had bought it for her before and she refused to eat it, saying it was yucky. But today the box arrived with our order and there was a free loaf of it in there. She was sooo excited. Read through the whole list of ingredients and was so happy to see that she could eat it. She just said she wanted 25 more slices. Odd how that is with her. She can eat something once or twice and hate it. Then one day she will love it. Always has to be her idea though. I figure one day that will happen to her with fish.

[home-based-mom]

I've always liked fish, but what can you expect from someone who grew up in Seattle and has Norwegian blood in her veins! Heck, I'll even eat lutefisk on occasion! (If you don't know what that is, don't ask cuz you don't wanna know.)

[Bluevalentine]

I really actually like fish a lot, but I've never been able to enjoy salmon.