Lunch Swap.

[Juliebove]

Daughter is in 5th grade now and they have little buddies who are in Kindergarten. They read them stories. And today she just learned that tradition is, some day in the future, they will swap lunches with the buddy. She was very upset about this because of course it is highly unlikely she will be able to eat the other kid's lunch.

The saving grace here is that there are more 5th graders than there are Kindergarteners, so she and a friend have to share a buddy. So I told her when the day comes, she can bring something to give to the buddy, but the friend will have to swap the lunch.

A couple of years ago they did party in a bag. We were to put a cupcake, pie, cookies, etc., some chips, candy and a juice box in a bag. They were to swap with someone else. Alas, they did this activity in groups and the one other girl in the class who shares similiar allergies (and more) was in another group so they were unable to swap the safe snacks.

I just wish they wouldn't do these food related activities. It makes people with food issues feel so left out.

[missy'smom]

The party in a bag I understand, but I can't believe that health codes will allow the swaping of lunches! What if someone sends in something that is contaminated, improperly cooked etc. and your child gets sick(and I/m not talking allergies)! I suppose they send in all pre-packaged items-that would be safe. Maybe you could make up a list of safe, mainstream prepackaged items and have it sent home with the buddy-things like apple sauce, puddings etc. then you could send in a few items for your kiddo to supplement(a secret stash).

[crunchy-mama]

oh, my goodness. I can see how in a perfect world this would be great. However, this is scary in so many ways. Man that stinks. Hopefully you and the teacher can brainstorm different ways to do this so your daughter can be safe.

[Juliebove]

The party in a bag I understand, but I can't believe that health codes will allow the swaping of lunches! What if someone sends in something that is contaminated, improperly cooked etc. and your child gets sick(and I/m not talking allergies)! I suppose they send in all pre-packaged items-that would be safe. Maybe you could make up a list of safe, mainstream prepackaged items and have it sent home with the buddy-things like apple sauce, puddings etc. then you could send in a few items for your kiddo to supplement(a secret stash).

I know. In past years they were not allowed to share lunches at all.

As for pre-packaged things, that would be really tough to do given all of her allergies. There isn't a lot she can eat.

[ShayFL]

It is so hard being a Mom. And the schools dont make it any easier. I know when I put my daughter in pre-school it was so very difficult because at the time I was a vegetarian and did not believe in ANY refined sugar. Everyday it was cookies and candy. And of course my daughter loved those things. But I had to pay the price when I picked her up.....cranky....crying.....ugh!! But calmer on weekends and the days she didnt go. Family gatherings....again...everyone would feed her junk and I would pay later. To this day she is no fun if she eats a bunch of sugar. It is like a different kid comes out.

I feel for you, but you have gotten some great advice here.

She could also exchange a non-food item with her little buddy. A toy or homemade little gift. This could be fun.

[Juliebove]

It is so hard being a Mom. And the schools dont make it any easier. I know when I put my daughter in pre-school it was so very difficult because at the time I was a vegetarian and did not believe in ANY refined sugar. Everyday it was cookies and candy. And of course my daughter loved those things. But I had to pay the price when I picked her up.....cranky....crying.....ugh!! But calmer on weekends and the days she didnt go. Family gatherings....again...everyone would feed her junk and I would pay later. To this day she is no fun if she eats a bunch of sugar. It is like a different kid comes out.

I feel for you, but you have gotten some great advice here.

She could also exchange a non-food item with her little buddy. A toy or homemade little gift. This could be fun.

That's a good idea! Thanks!

[purple]

I agree with missy'smom and others. The food could be left out of refrigeration or leftover for how many days??? At my nephews school about 10 years ago, they were not even allowed to bring homemade cookies. Every treat had to be store bought, in the package. I think that is a safe idea. Also instead of trading lunches...just trade a store bought snack and have a few extras for those with allergies. Maybe you could talk to the principal or superintendent??

[Juliebove]

I agree with missy'smom and others. The food could be left out of refrigeration or leftover for how many days??? At my nephews school about 10 years ago, they were not even allowed to bring homemade cookies. Every treat had to be store bought, in the package. I think that is a safe idea. Also instead of trading lunches...just trade a store bought snack and have a few extras for those with allergies. Maybe you could talk to the principal or superintendent??

Once upon a time they did say that any shared treats had to be store bought and individually packaged. But the teachers just look the other way. We shall see. Have a meeting with the teacher on Tues.

[Amyleigh0007]

Wow! I can't believe your school would allow students to exchange lunches! My school would never dream of doing that. We are very big on not sharing food and prepackaged birthday treats only.

Speaking as a teacher and a Celiac mom, I really get angry when teachers use food/candy as rewards. It is very unfair to the children who can not participate. I do not do that in my classroom. I wish other teachers felt the same way. I'm sorry you all have had frustrating experiences with your kid's teachers. I would talk to your school's principal and express your frustration with food as reward. Since my son's dx I have become much more vocal at school about using food as rewards. It was something that wasn't really addressed since no parents ever complained about it. Be that parent that complains and I bet things will change!

[Juliebove]

Wow! I can't believe your school would allow students to exchange lunches! My school would never dream of doing that. We are very big on not sharing food and prepackaged birthday treats only.

Speaking as a teacher and a Celiac mom, I really get angry when teachers use food/candy as rewards. It is very unfair to the children who can not participate. I do not do that in my classroom. I wish other teachers felt the same way. I'm sorry you all have had frustrating experiences with your kid's teachers. I would talk to your school's principal and express your frustration with food as reward. Since my son's dx I have become much more vocal at school about using food as rewards. It was something that wasn't really addressed since no parents ever complained about it. Be that parent that complains and I bet things will change!

Daughter has come home almost every day this year and reported that the rest of the class got some kind of candy or other treat that she didn't because she is allergic. Of course that is partly her fault because I did send in Smarties which she lost and has since found. And then I sent in another bag which she failed to give to the teacher. Had the teacher had those, she would have had a treat. Not that I want them to have treats every day because I don't!

In 3rd grade they had a treat box. I volunteered to fill it and I ordered tons of little toys, stickers, pencils, etc. Plenty enough for the whole year. I also got a couple bags of the Halloween sized candy that would have been allergen free for most people unless they had a corn or dye allergy. There was a kid in her 2nd grade class like that.

So I was quite shocked to see that someone else came along after that and filled the box with 6 packs of Oreos and other cookies and large candy that my daughter can't eat.

Today she said they got an extra recess. I don't necessarily want her having an extra recess either.

[Amyleigh0007]

The teacher should have sent a note home at the start of the school year explaining that there is a child in the class with food allergies. The note should have listed acceptable treats (information she can get from you) that kids can bring in for birthdays, etc. It is her responsibility to make sure her students are safe and treated as equals. If one child can not have cookies then the entire class should not have cookies. That's my opinion and how I would run my classroom if one of my students had Celiac or allergies. My rewards consist of "lunch bunch" (lunch with me in the classroom with two other classmates), going to a younger classroom and reading to them or playing a game with them, and things like that. I am very against food, candy, and junk items as rewards.

People who are not exposed to others with food allergies or diseases like Celiac are not thinking the way we think. Food is on our minds 24/7. We live and breathe to keep our kids safe from foods that will cause damage to them. People that don't have to worry like we do don't think bringing 24 cupcakes to school will cause problems. We have to educate them and raise awareness. I don't think your daughter's teacher means harm, she just needs to be educated, perhaps firmly. I hope the rest of the year goes better!

[Cheri A]

Wow, Julie, I can't believe that your school would have them trade lunches. That is crazy! Everyone has had some great ideas and it's nice that she shares a buddy with someone else.

AFA the treats and such, I'm in the same boat with the prepackaged stuff. Carleigh just doesn't like or want those things. I'm still waiting for her to decide what she wants me to send in. She mentioned that she might like me to store some treats in our freezer to send in with her on a day that there is a birthday. Thanks for the reminder, though. I need to check with her teacher about food rewards.

I love the non-food rewards of having lunch with the teacher, buddy reading, etc. Great idea!!