It Can Always Be Worse

[henny]

I have had a few drama-queen moments of self-pity over the past few months with my illness and then adjusting to the gluten-free lifestyle.

Today I sit before you, ashamed and devastated.

One of my best friends came down with Guillain-Barre Syndrome last week.

A week later and he is completely paralyzed and cannot feel anything except pins and needles. And it's getting worse. He has no sense of taste, cannot swallow or talk. His mind is still completely sharp, but he is essentially a brain in a jar.

We are all taking turns at his hospital bedside, waiting for him to lose the ability to draw breath and require a ventilator. Hopefully that won't happen, but there is still 1 or 2 weeks to go before the disease hits bottom and plateus for a few weeks...then slow reversal is expected.

He is 32 years old and normally full of life. Now it will be months before he can walk again, perhaps years before he regains full control of his body - if recovery is indeed complete.

Hug your families and friends, and always remember that things could always be worse. I will never feel sorry for myself again.

[Lisa]

We all have our trials. Some seem to have more than their share. I hope your friend's youth and strength can carry him through this tough time. Dear friends like yourself can help hold him up and offer than strength.

Hugs to you, your friends, your friend and his family. Don't loose HOPE!

[flourgirl]

Hey Henny.....so sorry to hear about your friend. I've known someone who had this, too. It's a terrible thing. Good news is she did get much better and has gone on with life. You are right about one thing.....you never have to look very far to find someone much, much worse off.

Even knowing this I still have those moments....petty little pity parties. I allow it to go on for a very short time and then get on. We are fortunate to have something for which we can control and improve. Hope all goes well with your friend. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[henny]

We all have our trials. Some seem to have more than their share. I hope your friend's youth and strength can carry him through this tough time. Dear friends like yourself can help hold him up and offer than strength.

Hugs to you, your friends, your friend and his family. Don't loose HOPE!

Thanks and you are right! Even in this case it could be worse - a full recovery is 70% likely, and an almost-full recovery is more like 90 - 95% likely. Pretty great odds compared to many things.

It's going to be an endurance event, but it can have profound and beautiful scenery along the way.

Thanks for the hugs...I'll be sure to pass it on!

[henny]

What is interesting to me about this experience with my friend (and another friend who lost his battle with Pancreatic cancer a couple years back) is how it resonates with past events and feelings I have had.

My husband is a longtime sufferer of Crohn's disease. Over the years we have had years of extreme pain and disability, emergency surgeries, long recoveries and many setbacks. The isolation and stress of those times was just unbearable.

Now when dealing with tragedy among friends and family, all those past hurts come flooding back - leading me to feel much more upset than I think I should.

Does that make sense to anyone? I am not sure how to quash that effect - it amplifies things and seems counterproductive.

Any advice on coping/quieting the past would be greatly appreciated!

[Lisa]

I am not sure how to quash that effect - it amplifies things and seems counterproductive.

You can't, but it will make to good times all that much better. (those good times aren't free, you know. You earn them )

[henny]

aww drat!

[mushroom]

Now when dealing with tragedy among friends and family, all those past hurts come flooding back - leading me to feel much more upset than I think I should.

I used to use an expression with my best friend who was coping with ovarian cancer: "It's not how hard you fall, it's how high you bounce."

It does seem that, like a tennis ball, we keep losing some of our ability to bounce back the more we have to deal with. I am personally noting that I don't bounce as well as I used to, but keep trying to find that little bit of extra elasticity to give me a bit more spring. Hugs to you and I hope you and your friend can bounce back.

[ShayFL]

Sorry to hear about your friend. But most recover from GB and he is young and healthy and should do well.

One of my DH colleagues lost her husband last night. 46. Yes....it can always be MUCH WORSE than not being able to grab a slice of pizza from Pizza Hut!!!!

[henny]

awww....sorry for your loss!

[jerseyangel]

Henny--my best wishes for a full and smooth recovery for your friend.

[curlyfries]

Now when dealing with tragedy among friends and family, all those past hurts come flooding back - leading me to feel much more upset than I think I should.

Does that make sense to anyone? I am not sure how to quash that effect - it amplifies things and seems counterproductive.

Any advice on coping/quieting the past would be greatly appreciated!

I know exactly what you mean, but I think those feelings are a good thing......it's all in how you look at it. I think it has made me a much more compassionate person. Even though I don't like the fact that I am a much more emotional person than I used to be, I think it has caused me to be more sympathetic and able to relate more to what others are going through. Even though I am more emotional, I feel, in actuality, that I am stronger for having been there.

[JNBunnie1]

I know exactly what you mean, but I think those feelings are a good thing......it's all in how you look at it. I think it has made me a much more compassionate person. Even though I don't like the fact that I am a much more emotional person than I used to be, I think it has caused me to be more sympathetic and able to relate more to what others are going through. Even though I am more emotional, I feel, in actuality, that I am stronger for having been there.

BIG ditto.

[henny]

You guys are the greatest!

HUGS

[henny]

ugh....he's continuing to lose ground with this syndrome.

today he lost swallowing, blinking, and speaking. he's on oxygen but not yet a vent. pneumonia has set in.

hope this plateus soon...my heart is bursting.

[mushroom]

Gosh, I am so sorry for you and your friend. I send prayers your way that he can pull through this. He is young and strong; be hopeful.

[henny]

week 3

he's now on a ventilator. worst part about it is they cannot sedate him because the GBS is affecting his blood pressure and they don't want to risk making that worse. so he's awake and aware, with a feeding tube in his nose and a vent tube down his throat. his eyes are taped shut because the paralysis does not allow him to blink or close them on his own. he's completely paralyzed and cannot feel anything except right around his collarbones and the top of his head. he's awake, blind, and in enormous discomfort.

he has pneumonia, tachycardia, unstable blood pressure, and his sats are getting worse. he's in ICU so we're unable to see him much at this point.

the whole 'it can always be worse' mantra is no longer working to calm me.

I also got glutened at the hospital cafeteria (who knew that shredded cheese sometimes has gluten?) so my mood is blacker than all get-out, so sorry for whining here...it feels good to vent though.

please give up some prayers/good vibes for my friend....he sure could use a break right about now.

[Morrisun]

This makes me so sad. I will keep your friend in my prayers.

[ShayFL]

Praying now....so sorry for you and your friend. How awful.

[henny]

thanks guys

and Shay, I'm praying for your brother as well prayers all around

[henny]

week 4 and still deteriorating. This puts him in the 90th percentile for severity.

tests are showing severe axonal damage and high likelihood of permanent damage - it will take at least 6 months to see how much disability is permanent.

please pray for him...and pray double for his fantastic wife.

[ravenwoodglass]

week 4 and still deteriorating. This puts him in the 90th percentile for severity.

tests are showing severe axonal damage and high likelihood of permanent damage - it will take at least 6 months to see how much disability is permanent.

please pray for him...and pray double for his fantastic wife.

Still praying for all of you. I hope he turns around soon. Don't lose hope the doctors prepare us for the worst but the worst doesn't always happen.