Eating Out

[Katsby]

I know the restaurants in my area that have gluten free menus, but I don't really actually like eating at those place (PFChangs, Outback, etc). It seems that the restaurants I do enjoy don't really care about celiac disease. Or nearly everything on the menu has some sort of gluten in it. Then the only thing I can eat is a salad and even that's questionable because I don't know about the salad dressing. So then I get asked to go out for coffee, but I don't drink coffee. Then I think well maybe I can get a hot chocolate, but then I get paranoid and wonder about the hot chocolate. I haven't been able to eat at any of the holiday parties at work either because of cross contamination, and I am told to live a little or cheat for a day. I really can't do that, though. If I eat any gluten I am sick for at least five days.

I do my best to eat before I go out, and I don't like Larabars or things like that, so I feel stuck. I just want a normal life where I can go out and have fun with friends. I want to socialize, but I feel like I can't do anything. Ya of course I can do things other than eat, but I enjoy going shopping with friends, to a movie, and lunch or something to that affect. I try my best, despite this diet, to continue my life the way it was before I went gluten free. It's hard

This is the only thing about this diet I really have issues with. I feel stuck, and the worst part is I haven't even begun trying to date. I am not going to do anything to jeopardize my health, but I am also afraid of others knowing just how anal I am about food. My brain is always wondering, is that safe (about food)?

P.S. before I went gluten free my best friend and I used to cook at his house and whatnot, but honestly I know he's too scared to do that with me now. We can cook at my house, but I think honestly I want to get out of my house and go out into the world.

How do you guys handle this? Do you just not eat out at all or what?

[Mother of Jibril]

So then I get asked to go out for coffee, but I don't drink coffee. Then I think well maybe I can get a hot chocolate, but then I get paranoid and wonder about the hot chocolate.

When I went to college, there was this really great coffee shop across the street. I was going over there quite a bit with a friend (at least once a week) until we realized... we couldn't afford it! So we switched to having tea at her dorm. At least we could still get together and chat.

At first I didn't really like tea. A lot of people limit themselves to black or green tea... adding milk and sugar like it's coffee. Then I realized two things:

1. I like my tea really STRONG. If it's too weak it just tastes like water.

2. My favorite teas are peppermint (I'm drinking a great one right now from Tazo that has a blend of peppermint and tarragon), lavender, and licorice. A lot restaurants have a really disappointing tea selection... they'll just give you a packet of Lipton But... you can order the hot water and use your own tea bags from home. Starbucks has Tazo teas.

Also... I think you could still cook at your friend's house if you bring a few essential items (cutting board, knife, pot). It just won't be as convenient as cooking in your gluten-free kitchen. Think of some simple recipes that don't require a lot of elaborate cookware

[Jestgar]

I'm so sorry. Mope away, sometimes it helps.

Some things to consider: Bring your own salad dressing. At least you could eat.

Mexican, Vietnamese, Indian foods are not gluten based so you have a better chance at these restaurants.

Make fun of the situation when you're out with your friends and you pull out your private stash of soy sauce or whatever. They just want you to have a good time, so have a good time (while your eating your miserable iceberg lettuce salad _{withunripe tomatoes...}) sorry, lost myself there for a minute.

Bring two dishes to parties. Some main food type thing and a dessert. Pain in the behind, I know, but at least you get food.

Our parties at work always have some sort of theme. We've recently gotten into a 'bar' theme - taco bar, salad bar, baked potato bar. People just bring a topping, and since most people buy things, rather than make them, they are checkable.

[missy'smom]

minimus.biz sells individual salad dresings, not all are gluten-free but some are.

I am very sensitive and careful but would be ok with cooking at someone elses place and would bring along a few items as mentioned, just in case, but you probably already know what he has that would work or not. I often bring a pan just in case all they own is teflon.

I hear you about choices for restaurants. I dislike all the same things that you mentioned. I'm not a coffee or soda drinker and have brought my own tea bags, as mentioned, for years.

Here's a thought for expanding your restaurant choices. When I was planning to go to a neighboring town that I'd never been to I mapquested the town and clicked on restaurants and found a few that had online menues(these weren't chains-local places) and were the type of place that might have things that could work. So I picked a few things from the menue that I thought might work and e-mailed them and asked specific questions about ingredients and preparation. That way they had more time to check than if I had just showed up. I also told them I'd be a regular if I found some places that could accomodate me. I did it for out of town but why not in town for you?

I brought all my own meals in a container to all the holiday events that included food this year. This is not the only way to handle it and I don't always do it but it's an option and was the only one that worked out for me this year. At one event I had salad from the salad bar but used my own dressing that I brought. Got a few looks. So I piped up and said that I couldn't eat wheat. Music was a little loud so she thought I said "meat" and said she worked with alot of vegetarians. Well, I happen to be a vegetarian wannabe so I didn't correct her and went with the topic. She must have been confused because I brought a chicken breast! I have also brought my meals into restaurants on occasion when I am with my family traveling, or with a group. I simply told the waitress that I have multiple food allergies and they have never have a problem with it, so far. Everyone else is ordering so they get plenty of business. It's alway a little awkward to bring my own meal but I get a safe one and get to get out of the house, enjoy the music and be with people, even if they think I'm a little odd I never regret it.

[harp1]

I know the restaurants in my area that have gluten free menus, but I don't really actually like eating at those place (PFChangs, Outback, etc). It seems that the restaurants I do enjoy don't really care about celiac disease. Or nearly everything on the menu has some sort of gluten in it. Then the only thing I can eat is a salad and even that's questionable because I don't know about the salad dressing. So then I get asked to go out for coffee, but I don't drink coffee. Then I think well maybe I can get a hot chocolate, but then I get paranoid and wonder about the hot chocolate. I haven't been able to eat at any of the holiday parties at work either because of cross contamination, and I am told to live a little or cheat for a day. I really can't do that, though. If I eat any gluten I am sick for at least five days.

I do my best to eat before I go out, and I don't like Larabars or things like that, so I feel stuck. I just want a normal life where I can go out and have fun with friends. I want to socialize, but I feel like I can't do anything. Ya of course I can do things other than eat, but I enjoy going shopping with friends, to a movie, and lunch or something to that affect. I try my best, despite this diet, to continue my life the way it was before I went gluten free. It's hard

This is the only thing about this diet I really have issues with. I feel stuck, and the worst part is I haven't even begun trying to date. I am not going to do anything to jeopardize my health, but I am also afraid of others knowing just how anal I am about food. My brain is always wondering, is that safe (about food)?

P.S. before I went gluten free my best friend and I used to cook at his house and whatnot, but honestly I know he's too scared to do that with me now. We can cook at my house, but I think honestly I want to get out of my house and go out into the world.

How do you guys handle this? Do you just not eat out at all or what?

Katsby,

I am also extremely sensitive to wheat soy and dairy. My suggestions is to find a Celiac group and talk to people about it. I think it's important to commisserate. There is a Celiac dinner club here as well. Also it's good to expand your restaurant list - by talking to managers before you arrive you could determine how helpful they will be and what you could eat, then find the manager when you arrive and remind them of how helpful they've been. Do you eat sushi? Do you take a rice pizza shell into a pizza place and have them fill it? Take your own pasta into pasta place? Just some ideas. I think cooking at your friends house is a great ideaa. Figure out how to be safe. It's good to stretch I think.

[harp1]

I know the restaurants in my area that have gluten free menus, but I don't really actually like eating at those place (PFChangs, Outback, etc). It seems that the restaurants I do enjoy don't really care about celiac disease. Or nearly everything on the menu has some sort of gluten in it. Then the only thing I can eat is a salad and even that's questionable because I don't know about the salad dressing. So then I get asked to go out for coffee, but I don't drink coffee. Then I think well maybe I can get a hot chocolate, but then I get paranoid and wonder about the hot chocolate. I haven't been able to eat at any of the holiday parties at work either because of cross contamination, and I am told to live a little or cheat for a day. I really can't do that, though. If I eat any gluten I am sick for at least five days.

I do my best to eat before I go out, and I don't like Larabars or things like that, so I feel stuck. I just want a normal life where I can go out and have fun with friends. I want to socialize, but I feel like I can't do anything. Ya of course I can do things other than eat, but I enjoy going shopping with friends, to a movie, and lunch or something to that affect. I try my best, despite this diet, to continue my life the way it was before I went gluten free. It's hard

This is the only thing about this diet I really have issues with. I feel stuck, and the worst part is I haven't even begun trying to date. I am not going to do anything to jeopardize my health, but I am also afraid of others knowing just how anal I am about food. My brain is always wondering, is that safe (about food)?

P.S. before I went gluten free my best friend and I used to cook at his house and whatnot, but honestly I know he's too scared to do that with me now. We can cook at my house, but I think honestly I want to get out of my house and go out into the world.

How do you guys handle this? Do you just not eat out at all or what?

Katsby,

I am also extremely sensitive to wheat soy and dairy. My suggestions is to find a Celiac group and talk to people about it. I think it's important to commisserate. There is a Celiac dinner club here as well. Also it's good to expand your restaurant list - by talking to managers before you arrive you could determine how helpful they will be and what you could eat, then find the manager when you arrive and remind them of how helpful they've been. Do you eat sushi? Do you take a rice pizza shell into a pizza place and have them fill it? Take your own pasta into pasta place? Just some ideas. I think cooking at your friends house is a great ideaa. Figure out how to be safe. It's good to stretch I think.

[Katsby]

Thanks for the kind words and thoughtful replies. I think communication is definately key. I'll call and ask around and see what the managers say.

[Jenny (AZ via TX)]

Katsby, I'm with you on this. Eating out is the hardest part for me. It was such a big part of my social life. Also, it was so convenient being able to eat anywhere you wanted whenever you wanted. Now I have to plan. Calling ahead is the key and unfortunately if I don't feel comfortable with what the manager says, I won't eat. You may be surprised with some of the neighborhood places. Check into those. I'm not sure where you live or if you eat meat, but I've been reading about some of the Brazilian meat places and many do gluten free.

[ang1e0251]

I've been pleasantly surprised with my locally owned restaurants. They always take care of me. They are more friendly and accommodating than many chains. But for events I always take my own food now and also eat before leaving. I'm over feeling out of place. I'm the keeper of my own health and others can really have no concept of the damage their food will do to me. They really don't need to know. It's my job to see to my own well being. The truth is if I'm cool about it, the people around me are too.

It's takes some confidence to prearrange your food or take your own but once you do it, it will get easier and easier. Your friends don't really want you to be sick, they want you to have a good time with them. Put them at ease. If food is not an issue for you, because you brought your own or made special arrangements, it will not be an issue for you.

[Poppy Cat]

I've worked in a ton of restaurants and it's such a gamble to make special requests. Some places will respect their customers and make an honest effort to accommodate special requests, others will be rude in the kitchen at least and deliberately spike your food with what you didn't ask for.

I don't want to spread negativity, but it really does happen. A lot.

All I can suggest is, if you're making plans, try to hit a restaurant during the off hours. When the place is packed, servers are hard pressed to remember little details like 'no croutons'. And the cooks don't have time to make special things. It's so far from ideal, but this is the nature of american restaurants. The best bet is small indie places. The staff are usually treated better by the management, and so they're more willing to take you seriously. Also, the managers care more about actually making customers happy since their business depends on it. Chain restaurants are the worst.

[*lee-lee*]

i was devastated when i realized how difficult eating out was going to be. i've never been much of a cook and used to eat out at least 4 times a week. now, aside from the thought of eating out being scary, i think about how much money i'm saving. i think i've been out to eat 3 times in the past 6 months. when i do go out, i always think "boy i can make this same meal for a lot cheaper at home! and it'll taste better too!"

i make a point to never leave the house hungry. or without a food plan. at the very least, i can get a salad to tide me over til i get home to my own food.

[Jestgar]

now, aside from the thought of eating out being scary, i think about how much money i'm saving. i think i've been out to eat 3 times in the past 6 months. when i do go out, i always think "boy i can make this same meal for a lot cheaper at home! and it'll taste better too!"

Isn't it funny how our perspective changes

[Eriella]

I completely understand about just wanting to be normal and go out with friends, as well as the dating issue. My advice is to assume that people are stupid and don't care. Thus, find 2 or 3 great places that are naturally gluten free with low cc risk. This means 0 special ordering, or, if you must, "no bun" or "no toast". For me this is a Vietnamese restaurant (pho), a steak house (steak and potato), a gourmet salad place (they toss your own) and a Mexican restaurant (burrito bowl). I live in the yuppiest section of a large city, so this is easier than when I lived in the suburbs and middle of no where. But even there, it was possible to find places.

If friends (or a date) want to meet up for dinner, just say "I am allergic to everything-- It is easiest if we go __, ___, or __". Or I go out for breakfast, because it looks normal to get eggs over easy with hash browns and no toast (check hash brown ingredients to make sure they are naturally gluten free). I also meet people for a drink. Happy hour is an easy way to socialize without needed to eat (and if you don't drink, diet coke works). Or I bring food over to dates'/friends' houses'. This makes me look awesome because I cooked, and I know I won't spend the night in the bathroom.

[harp1]

I completely understand about just wanting to be normal and go out with friends, as well as the dating issue. My advice is to assume that people are stupid and don't care. Thus, find 2 or 3 great places that are naturally gluten free with low cc risk. This means 0 special ordering, or, if you must, "no bun" or "no toast". For me this is a Vietnamese restaurant (pho), a steak house (steak and potato), a gourmet salad place (they toss your own) and a Mexican restaurant (burrito bowl). I live in the yuppiest section of a large city, so this is easier than when I lived in the suburbs and middle of no where. But even there, it was possible to find places.

If friends (or a date) want to meet up for dinner, just say "I am allergic to everything-- It is easiest if we go __, ___, or __". Or I go out for breakfast, because it looks normal to get eggs over easy with hash browns and no toast (check hash brown ingredients to make sure they are naturally gluten free). I also meet people for a drink. Happy hour is an easy way to socialize without needed to eat (and if you don't drink, diet coke works). Or I bring food over to dates'/friends' houses'. This makes me look awesome because I cooked, and I know I won't spend the night in the bathroom.

Great post, learned alot! harp1

[bmpress]

You can always eat out at Wendys. I order a burger in a plastic dish with all the condiments but no bread. Then to make it somewhat enjoyable I order a baked potato with chives and a chocolate frosty.

Its not five star, but you can get it all over the country.